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Full speech
Oyes, oyes, my brains swim in Canary, excee dingly excellent Sack I thank ye Ladies, I know 'tis your pleasure I should not want o'th best blood o'th grape in hope there might be a stone in my cup to mar my drinking afterwards. Enter Sensible. Mistress Sensible what igge ithe wind she moves so nimbly. A Letter? whence flew that paper kite. Conveyances, I read juggling in that paper alrea die, and though you put it up I woe not o, for so much Magic to conjure that paper out of her bosom into my pocket now I do long to know what pitiful lover for it can be no other, is doing penance in that white sheet all ready, Mistress Sensible hark ye; whence came that letter? Because it had a young one it'h belly on't, or I am much mistaken. Already he might would delivered his own Letter. It will do very well. She's at it already, thus far of I can read her countenance if she spare her voice. It shall, the games a foot, were I best to discover thus much, or reserve it to welcome home the old Knight withal, I'll be more familiar with this juggling, first, the Scrivener has a Name and if he be worth his own ears he shall be worth my discovery. Here comes the Gallant and the tother toy now. Good. And I will convey your affection to somebody else. As the Devil would have it, are you there Sensible. Death her tongue is awake already. Help me Breynes, before she wakes the tother, it's I forsooth but looking for the chamberpot. Counterfeits Sensibles voice. So, so, would the spring is open I might forget to make it fast last night, It's so, and happily some Cur e or Cat Has been i'the chamber, for I hear a noise About the door, I'll make it fast And so to bed again, I think it is day already. Exit.
Plot summary
Plot — The Witty Fair One
PLOT After a dinner party at his brother Worthy’s house, Sir George Richly goes off to visit his prospective son-in-law Sir Nicholas in the country, leaving his daughter Violetta in Worthy’s care and under the watchful eye of his servant Brains: he is concerned that, as his heir, she should not be the object of unwelcome attentions from gallants. The other dinner guests take a walk in the garden. Aimwell has fallen for Violetta and asks Worthy what his chances are; he gets a frank answer, and resolves to give up his suit, but changes his mind when Violetta’s own words seem to imply that her father’s matrimonial plans for her may not have her full consent. Meanwhile Fowler woos Worthy’s daughter Penelope, but admits in private that he is not in earnest, only practising his skill. Sir George returns home with Sir Nicholas. He proves to be an arrant fool dependent on his opportunistic tutor, who can see that the objective of the marriage is one knight’s desire to control the other’s estate. Aimwell sends a letter to Violetta enclosed in one from Fowler to Penelope. Through a mix-up, Violetta keeps her reply and sends him back his original letter, which he takes as a rebuff. Brains steals the remaining letter from her and sends it to her father, who is outraged and plans to advance the date of the wedding. Violetta’s chambermaid Sensible, sacked by Sir George, tells Aimwell about the mistake with the letters; reassured that she loves him after all, he starts to lay plans. Importuned by Sir Nicholas’s tutor, Violetta agrees to elope with him rather than marry Sir Nicholas, on condition that he kills Brains. She gets permission to go out shopping, escorted by Brains, and the tutor picks a quarrel. While Brains’s attention is distracted, Violetta substitutes Sensible for herself. Brains discovers the ruse, but is arrested at the tutor’s suit before he can do anything about it. Brains writes asking Sir George to arrange for his release, and mentions the attempted elopement but not the substitution; so when Sir Nicholas confronts the tutor, it is Sensible, not Violetta, whom he takes back and marries. Meanwhile, Violetta and Aimwell are also married. Sir Nicholas and Sir George accept the fait accompli and forgive their servants. In the sub-plot, Fowler feigns a fever as a wooing technique; Penelope promises to marry him when he is better. His recovery is suspiciously rapid, and, with her father’s connivance, she sets up an assignation with him in her chamber. In…