BRAINS

A question Sir, pray you, are you married Sir? Because you should answer me I cannot see't in your forehead Sir, Then I hope y'ane met with your match already I would nothing to say tee. Nor my Master neither, though he left his brains behind him, I hope a man may ask a question Sir. Let me alone. Exit Uncle. Young Mistress, I observe you. That was cunningly cast about. What's the matter. Do not endanger thy sconce. I'll drink no more. There be the Pigeons. Let her use to entertain him so, and he'll bid himself welcome, hark you sir, you do Like his compa nigh? So I say, but if I were worthy to give your daugh ter counsel she should have a special care how she treads, for if this Gentleman be not a Whoremaster, he is very Like one; and if she chance any way to crack her Venice -Glass, it'll not be so easily sowdred. I have done, here is a fresh Gamester. Enter M . Manley. This is the youth, I'll pawn my brains, hark you Sir, what do you call this Gentleman. He may shoot short for all his aiming, He wears Bachelors buttons does he not. One word more. She's a little busy. Do not you know that a Woman is more troub led with a little business, then some man with managing the troubles of a whole common wealth, it has been a pro verb, as busy as a Hen with one Chickin, marry and she had twenty, twenty to one she would not be so found on'em. T'is my office I'll do it — Exit. If she carry away this letter so, call me shallow-brains, I was never yet cozened in my life, this night? it shall be so, I will not come with bore relation of your plots I'll bring active intelligence that shall tell Your secret aims, so crush they in the shell. Where's the door — stumbles. The tother spirit is raised i'th Trundlebed What will become o'me now. Enter Sensible. Did your worship call? Mistress stay, Fear nothing, alas good Gentlewoman, you black Magot death, I 'de tread him into the kennel amongst his kin dreaded. We shall have the whole street about's presently let's on our journey, who is this Mole-catcher? And you had not been wo'me, I would have cut Him into more pieces then a Tailors cushion, Sir Nicholas you shall know on't too. Exeunt. My Mistress is grown very thtisty of her voice a'the sudden, I have asked her 2. or three questions, and she answers me with holding out her hand, as the post at St. Albans that points the way to London, either she is grown sullen, or the fright she was in late Like a Wolf that sees a man first, hath taken away her voice,— I 'le make her speak to me—He stays, she puts him forward with her hand.—Said you forsooth—we will not do, what a blessed comfort shall he enjoy if she continue speech less, the Persians did worship a God under the name of Silence, and sure Christians may have and excuse for their Idolatry, if they can find a woman whom nature hath po stead into the world with a tongue, but no ability to make use of that miserable Organ, what do you think it's a clock? two not stroke, would? how now Mrs. treading a to side, this is your way to the Exchange. She slips away. You are bountiful, it's more then I look't for. Would ah my Brains melt, I am undone, I am undone, you Succubus where is my Mistress? Proserpine speak. Me you Toads? Sirrah Tadpoole what dee' mean, I owe him not a penny by this flesh, he has a conspiracy upon me, I charge you in the Kings name unbind me. May you live to be arrested ath' Pox, and die in a Dungeon, nay Inns a Court Gentleman, at next trimming shave your ears and noses off, and then duck you in their own boggards. Let not your rage be so high Sir, I would more cause to be mad, But I have lost my credit, that had nothing else to live. I was more proud of that then you could be of twen ty daughters, And I'll maintain it, 'twas my boast that I was never cozened in my life, have I betrayed so many plots, discovered letters, deciphered Characters, stripped knavery to the skin, and laid open the very soul of Conspiracy, deserved for my cunning to be called Brains both Town and Country over, and now to forfeit they, to see they drenched in a muddy stratagem, cheated by a woman, and a pedancieall lousy Woodmonger, it's abho minable; patience I abhor thee, I desire him that bids me go hang my self, which is the way to Surgeons Hall I le beg to would my skull cut, I have a supspition my brains are filched, and my head has been late stuffed with Wood cocks Feathers. I will in spite of any man here, who shall hinder me if I have a mind too't. Are you there — this was the Champion that justled me, shall I fetch a Dog-whip, or let me cut him up he will make excellent meat for the Devils Trencher, I'll carve him Sirrah. Why did he justle me, there began the treachery, ask him that? Mistress! Do not deceive your self Sir, though Princes depute men to marry their wives, women do not use to be Ciphers, she is your wife in law, let me counsel you sir to prevent laughter, some body hath been cozened, I name no body, since it was your fortune to marry this wench, which cannot now be undone, seem not to be sorry for't, they do purpose to jeer you out of your skin else. Be confident and laugh at them first, that they are so simple to think that you are gulled, commend your choice, and say 'twas a trick of yours to deceive their expectation. And brains without wit too. Because I will not be drunk for any men pleasure. 'Tis good English now, was Dutch, may be you would some conspiracy upon me. Not, not, good Whible if you urge again I shall sus pect. And beat you Whible if you be not satisfied. Dost tempt me? This whelp has some plot upon men, I smell pow der my young Mistress would have blown up my brains this Peter-gunner should have given fire, it's not the first time she hath conspired so but two not do, I was never yet cozened in my life, and if I pawn my brains for a bot tle of Sack, or Claret, may my nose as a brand for my negli gence carry everlasting Malmesey in it, and be studded with Rubies and Carbuncles, Mistress you must pardon my offici ousnesse, be as angry as a Tiger I must play the Dragon and watch your golden fleece, my Master has put me in trust and I am not so easily corrupted. I would but two eyes Argus had a hundred, but he must be a cunning Mercury must pipe them both a sleep I can tell you. And now I talk of sleep, my lodging is next to her chambers, it is a confidence in my Master to let his Livery lie so near her, Servingmen have ever now proved themselves no Eunuchs, with their Master's Daughters, if I were so lusty as some of my own tribe, it were no great labour to commit Burglary upon a Maiden head, but all my nourishment runs upward into brains and I am glad on't, a temperate blood is sign of a good Liver, I am passed tilting, here she is with the second partly of her to the same tune, and other maid that has a grud ging of the green sickness. and wants a man to reco ver her. As you see forsooth. But I am in sober sadness I thank my stars. As much wit as will keep Breynes from melting this hight weather. Very good Sack and Claret ith house. And other enclosed without direction happily ob served. It is a she Letter it seems. And a bowling gamester too, for his bias was to wards my Mistress, but I may chance to cast a rub in his way to keep him from kissing. Oh the cunning of these Gipses, how when they list they can talk in a distinguishable dialect, they call men foxes but they make, tame geese a some on us, and yet Like one a those in Room I may prove so happy to p eserue your distressed Capitol, what news brings this Kickshaw. So, I can suffer this jeare. Exit. What do all these Butterflies here, I do not Like it. Sure this is it, my Mistress and her maid are both fast still, I would watched under the bed all night, to rob her pocket of this paper, and I would don't, some fellow at this opportunity would have wriggled himself into one of their flesh. What's the matter Mistress. Good Sir. And write too the superscription of a Letter or so. I hope you are Sensible. Let me council you not to express any violence in your passion, least you mar the possibility of reclay ming her, it seems Aymwell ha missed the intelligence, where shame is enforced too much upon the delinquent, it begets rather and audacious defence of the sin, then repen tance, soft rain slides to the root, and nourishes, where great storms make a noise, wet but the skin a'th earth, and run away in a channel. Bu'y sweet Mistress Sensible, I hope we shall meet again as merry as we partly. By all means let it be sudden. I won't sleep, till she be married, but carry things smooth, let not the Knight suspect you're troubled, your daughter will be fetc'ht about with a bias again. Hereafter for my sake, and subtle pains Who ere is wise, let the world call him Brains. Sir. point me a minute to return with her, if I fail put my brains into'th pot, and let they be served up with a Calves head, to morrow dinner. Come Mistress will you walk, I would feign see any mortal wit cozen me a my charge now, I will live to be the shame of Pollititians, and when I am dead, be clapped up into the Chronicles. I.