GASPARO

Oh! this Love will make us all mad, thou knowest I loved a ifter of thine once, but heaven knows where she is, I think she loved me too, dost think she did not? Well, thy father has reason to curse himself, be side some that she and I have. Nay, I would done, what shall's do? News? Oh excellent news! There is no news at all. Is it not good news, that there is no bade news? the truth is, the newes-maker Master Money-lack is sick of a consumption of the wit. O sir, how should younger brother's have main tained themselves, that have traveled, and have the names of Countries, and Captains without book, as perfect as their prayers, I and perfecter too? for I think there is more probability of forgetting their prayers, they say them so seldom; I tell you sir, I have known a Gen tleman that has spent the best partly of a thousand pound, while he was prentice to the trade in Holland, and out of three sheets of paper, which was his whole stock, a pen and inkhorn he borrowed, he set up shop, and spent a hundred pound a year upon his whore, and found sheets for them both to lie in too: it has been a great profession; marry most commonly they are Soldiers: a peace concluded, is a great plague unto they, and if the wars hold, we shall have store of them; Oh, they are men worthy of commendations, they speak in print. Faith so they would be thought, though indeed they are but mungrels, not worthy of that noble attribute; they are indeed bastards, not sons of war and true Soldiers, whose divine souls I honour, yet they may be called great spirits too, for their valour is invisible, these I say will write you a battle in any partly of Europe at and hours warning, and yet never set foot out of a Tavern, describe you Towns, Fortifications, Leaders, the strength a'th enemies, what Confederates, every days march, not a Soldier shall loose a hair or have a bullet fly between his Arms, but he shall have a Page to wait on him in quarto, nothing destroys they but want of a good memo ry, for if they escape contradiction, they may be chroni cled. I marry, now you speak of a Trade indeed, the very Atlas of a State Politic, the Common-shore of a City, nothing falls amiss unto they, and if there be no filth in the Commonwealth can live by honesty, and yet be knaves by their privilege, there is not and oath but they will have money for it! They can eat men alive and digest they, they have their conscience in a string, and can stifle it at their plea sure, the Devils journeymen, set up for themselves, and keep a damnation house of their own; indeed they sell dome prove Aldermen, yet they are taken for Knights e very day a'th week, when they ride post, they have the art of insinuation, and speak writs familiarly, they are Agents as I have herd for the Devil in their life time, and if they die in their bed, have this privilege, to be sons of hell by adoption, and take place of Sergeants. Stay. Who's there? thy sister and Infortunio: let's observe. Thy tother sister was of calmer temper, this a true woman. Go to Gorg n, let's see thy w owe. Would! it's not he, I'll speak to him, no it's in vain, I'll see if he knows me.— He passes by. Sir, I should know you, are you not Signior Pe trucchio, the dancing Master? Rufaldo indeed is old, but you are young, you do retain his countenance, I would swear you were he, but you are younger far. Possible? o yes, theres no question, for we see by experience, Stags cast their old horns, and prove vigorous, Snakes cast off their old coats, Eagles renew their age, your plants do it familiarly, the Phoenix when she is old, burns herself to ashes, from thence revives a young Phoenix again. Possible? I have herd some old men have been twice children sir,—therefore' this not impossible. There be receits in Physic, sir, to keep them young, saving that time runs on a little beforehand with em: yes, and to make young, since it is harder to make alive when they are dead, then to make young when they are alive, and Physic does revive some out of all question, though not so familiarly as kill, for that they do with a little study; marry I think, if it were as gainful to the Physician to restore as to destroy, he would practice the Art of recovery very faithfully. O! by no means, for where and old man would give a hundred pound, to have forty or fifty years wiped off the old score of his life, his wife or next heir would join rather then fail, to outbid him half on't, to put him out of debt quite, and to send his old leaking vessel into mare mortuum. If nay, it's passed if, and, and too, you are certainly restored, let me see, you look Like one of four, or six and thirty, not a minute above, and so much a man may take you for. Are you in love? nay, the w der is not so great; who can express the power of Love? I have read of a Painter nam Pygmalion, that made the Picture of a woma ̄ so to the life, that he fell in love with it, courted it, lay in bed with it, and by power of Love, it became a soft-natured wench indeed, and he begotten I know not how many children of her. Well sir, Selina cannot choose but be mad for you. Yes, and she be mad in love, there is no harm in't, she cannot be too mad in love, your Cornucopia may be bated at pleasure, beside sir, the best moral men say, Love it self is a madness, and the madder your wife is, the more sure you may be she loves you. Why sir, madness is not such a discredit, as the age goes: you know there are many mad fashions, and what man but some times may be mad? are not your great men mad, that when they have enough, will pawn their soul for a Monopoly? beside mad Lords, what do you think of Ladies at some time of the Moon, you may spell em in their names, Maddame? you have mad Courtiers, that run madding after Citizens with es: the Citizens are mad too, to trust em with their wares, who have been so deep in their wives books before: your Justice of Peace is some times mad too, for when he may see well enough, he will suffer any man to put out his eye with a bribe: some Law years are often starke-mad, and talk wildly, no man is able to endure their Terms. Well, my old young Rufaldo, if you marry Selina, I shall have a pair of gloves, I hope, and yowl let me dance at your wedding. Farewell credulity; would, would, with what a greedi ness do old men run out of their wits? 'Twas a good re creation to see with what pleasure he suffered himself to be gulled: faith Gasparo, play out thy hand, now thou art in: me thinks I have and excellent appetite to make my self merry with the simplicity of this age: let me see, it's Spring and, I mean to give my head a purgation, it may beat off the remembrance of my lost Love Felice: a pox of Melancholy, I will act two or three parts if I live in spite of it, and if I die then But I gave it polish, Gorgon. I think thou art a wit. And thou sayest the word, weel join in a project of wit, to make and Ass of the world a little, it shall make us merry, if it take no other ways, wilt join? Canst be close? Go to, thou shalt now then excuse me to thy Master, I will presently furnish my self with new lodge ings, and expect to hear from me shortly my brane Deal phicke, I have it in Embrio, and I shall soon be deliue read. Mum, not a word, if all hit right, we may Laugh all our melancholy thoughts away. Be the hangings up, Curculio, and all the Chairs and Stools put into method? the day is old, me thinks, time runs fast, me thinks, upon the minute, brings my dis ciples. Do my bills of compliment still relish, Curculio, do they please the palate, would? Thou hast eaten up the furies already, and speak est all buskin's, but close walk in the clouds, yet I have not herd of any Mountebanke of wit durst ever attempt to set up shop ath' trade yet: but whist, Usher, take your place. Your accession is grateful, my most gentile lump of insipience: what compliment does arride the palate of your generosity? How? in love, and hate too? Sir, I will draw you a sublime speech shall conjure him. Usher, in the mean time entertain him with some copy of amorous compliment. Beauty and graces dwell upon the face Of my disciple Delia. Negotiating a little with the Muses. Who's that? Sir Valentine Wantbraine, that has never a Clarke? Newly put into Commission for the peace, being puisne, it falls to him to give the charge. I have drawn it, let me see in Comitatum, &c. here, read it, Curculio, he may the better instruct his Master, a touch, a touch. So, it's enough: bear my respects to your Master, tell him it's a speech will do him credit, bid him learn it perfectly without Book. Mistress Medulla, the Sun of honour shine upon your Hope's, till it sublime you to a Ladyship: I will attend you presently. A word with you, sir. The Cupidinaean fires burn in my breast, And Like the Oven Etna, I am full Of Squibs and Crackers. Some strangers, Curoutio. A School of generous education, sir. In what kind of compliment, please you, vene rabble Sir, to be edoctrinated? But we will withdraw. Sir, I receive your son, and will wind up his in geny, fear it not, but first he must be under my Usher, who must teach him the postures of his body, how to make legs and cringes, and then he shall be advanced to a higher Class. Curculio, lick him with your method into some proportion, take off the roughness of his behaviour, and then give him the principles of salutation. A place of generous breeding. Amorous Pastorals? I can furnish you, venerable sir. Turn, Amarilsis, to thy Swane, Thy Damon calls thee back again, Here is a pretty Arbour by, Where Apollo cannot pry, Here let's fit, and while I play Sing to my Pipe a Roundelay. How Like you it, sir? So Mistress, I have trespassed on your patience, now I will take occasion by the forelock. You can say your le cture: have you your handkercher ready, that when a Suitor comes, you may put him off with wiping your eyes, as if tears stood in they ever since your husba ̄ worser was buried; well, suppose I have had access to your chamber, I begin, Lady, think it not strange, if Love which is active in my bosom, force me to turn petitioner, that I may be reck ned amongst your servants; all my ambition, sweetest, is to be made happy in your affection, which I will study to de serve in my utmost possibilities. Very well counterfeited, nay weep not, those eyes were made to shine, not waste with Due: if it be for the remembrance of him you have lost, recover him again, by placing your good opinion on a man shall sweat to do you services. So 'twas very well, at the next lesson you shall learn to be more cunning. Good boy, speak out. Very hopeful now: a repetition all together, the more, the merrier. Insinuate to they all for their own safeties, he's desperate mad, bid none stir hence. I beseech you, sir, to maintain the credit of my School, I shall be undone else, humour him a little. I am the conscience of and Usurer, Who have been damned these two and twenty years, For lending money gratis. Yes, sir, for thanks: I took no interest, For at the lending of each hundred pound They brought my home some twenty or thirty thanks, Indeed 'twas paid in gold. Live long thou King of hell. So, so, well done of all sides, here our School breaks up, I might have run mad Like, had I not taken off the edge of melancholy. Thus poor Gentleman. Oh Love thou art a madness, Drawing our souls with joy, to kill with sadness. I am resolved. Canst not see? Can you feel then? Heres somewhat for thee. What, can you see now? Whence came this project of wit? And thou art turned Soldier, to fight with him when you meet again: then thou wantest a Master? hark sirrah, what sayest thou to another project? I am now leaving the world, and going into the Country, woot turn Gipsy, or Shepherd? I am for the woods, canst Madrigals yet? Excellent I weel turn Shepherds presently, thou shalt be Phillis, and I'll be Coridon: let me alone to provide Russets, Crook, and Tarbox: they say there's good hospi tality in the Woods, and Songs and pastimes upon Silva um day. By any means, thou hast a good face already, a little simpering will do it, I'll accommodate thee early, keep thy own counsel, and I'll warrant thee for a Maide-mar rian. Stay, yonder are some Shepherds, lets on this bank fit down and prattle. And how long is't, since your Sweetheart forsook you? Alas, poor Mopsa, but come, put him out of thy mind, sing him away. And never love him more. Prithee do. It's she. I'll have a trick to know it. Blessings on you Shepherdess, Yet by this hand, you are no less, You were in love with a fair man, Crossed by a father, began This Shepherds life, & russet weed, Is it not the truth, I reed? would, would. No, I am fool, and yet I know Something, though you think not so. That and more in this table Lies your story: it's no fable, Not a line within your hand, But I easily understand: Your line of life is fair, hard by Ascends that of prosperity, But broken in the midst to the Mount Of Saturn here, which ill we count, Would, Triangle and Mercurial line? But Venus is no friend of thine. In your face your fate is wrote, You loved a woman, she not you, You know whither I say true, Her name began with S. but she, Shall never be enjoyed by thee, She's married now to one that's old, But very rich: your fortune's told. Damsel, you have yet a fate Will make you wonder more thereat, By collection, I dare prove, That his name, whom you did love, Began with G. but it's too true, He hath slain himself for you. Felice, come again, do not believe me, I told thee false, I did but try to gain a knowledge of thee: thy stars owe thee more happiness, Felice, look up, see thy friend alive, I am Gasparo. Foot, I would made fair work. Have I found thee, Oh wench, thou Wertenberg unjust, Too much unjust, thus to absent thy self From Gasparo, thy cruel father since Hath wept enough to wash away his error. Fates, I do thank you, for this blessed direction. But Infortunio, I am sorry now, I read the truth of thy unhappiness, It is too true, Selina is beyond Your sphere of hope, pardon, worthy sir, The shape I took, was not to mock your Fortune's, But try mine own. And have I found the wench? The boy is mad. Hark you, sir, do not believe him, Let not passion make you a mockery. Is not Selina married to Rufaldo? then am I goose-giblet: I should have been at Church with they, but for a crotchet that I had in my pate all the morning: I spoke with her father yesterday, and from his mouth I herd, Selina was very well, I think I do not dream, indeed now I call to me mory, he said Selina was missed two or three hours ath' wedding morn; some figary, I know not what: and And tonio, as I supposed, gone in quest of her, not herd of since: but Selina is sure Rufaldoes wife, or some Devil in her Like ness has abused them all with credulity. This is true, sir, therefore be not easy, do not deserve more pity, this boy is mad, a juggling boy. Come, put on a men spirit, Mopsa. I will not change. Let me alone, so, so: then pleasures run with a stream upon us, but if we shall make a full day on't, here's one more to meet with her match, this poor Virgin hath been long in love with Bubulcus: troth, sir, look upon her at length pitifully complaining: alas good soul, be honest at length: prithee do, and marry her, you know what has passed between you, it's a handsome Wench. Sir, I tender your credit, there is but two ways either you must marry her, or give her a piece of money that's the easiest way, she is poor: for your reputation— A matter of twenty or thirty pieces, you can spare them.