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Full speech
Madam I know not, how you may receive This boldness from me, but my fair intents Known, will incline you to be charitable. He must live obscurely Madam, That hath not herd what virtues you possess, And I a poor admirer of your fame, Am come to kiss your hand. Though it were worth much travel, I have more In my ambition. You are a widow. And I a Bachelor. And bless my stars for such a happiness. I am A gentleman, my name is Hairecut madam. Yes J will hope If you can love, J shanot present Madam And object to displease you in my person, And when time, and your patience shall possess you With further knowledge of me, and the truth Of my devotion, you will not repent The offer of my service. You are pleasant Madam. J am ignorant what you mean, but J shall never Be cold in my affection to such beauty. If you vouchsafe me so much honour Madam, That J may wait on you sometime, J shanot Despair to see a change. You make me fortunate. Enter Steward. Madam I have been too great a trespasser Upon your patience, isle take my leave, You have affairs, and I have some employment Calls me to Court, I shall present again A servant to you. I must beg your charity Upon my rudeness Madam, I shall give That day up lost to any happiness, When I forget to tender you my service. 'Tis Ma dam The sphere I move in, and my destiny Was kind to place me there, where J enjoy All blessings that a mortal can possess, That lives not in your presence, and J should Fix my ambition, when you would vouchsafe Me so much honour, to accept from me And humble entertainment there. J would hope. Sweet Madam. My present condition Madam, carries Honour and profit, though not to be named With that employment J expect ith state Which shall discharge the first maturity Upon your knowledge, until then I beg You allow a modest silence. Give him leave To follow his nose Madam, while he Hunt's In view, he'll soon be at a fault. Know Sentlove ? not a page but can decipher him, The waiting women know him to a scruple, He's called the Blistermaker of the town. My knight I He has good parts they say, but cannot help His Ladies bias. What comes he for? Enter sir Thomas He is very gamesome. I Like not Their secret parley, shall I interrupt em? I must take my leave, You will excuse me Madam, Court attendances — Bout three'a clock my Lord. Your Lordship went but late To bed last night. The silent language of her face my Lord Was not so pleasant, as it showed upon Her entrance. She does The trade and honour, credit to the profession, We may in time see baldness, quarter noses, And rotten legs to take the wall of footclothes. I herd him say this morning, he would wait Upon your Lordship. She is returned sir. Enter Secre. and Decoy. Or this or sighed with me, It shall be no exception that I wait Upon my Lord, I am a gentleman, You may be less and bea Knight, the office, I do my Lord is honest sir, how many Such you have been guilty of, heaven knows. Oft with your periwig, and stand bore. Pardon my ambition Madam, I told you truth, I am a gentleman, And cannot fear that name is drowned in my Relation to my Lord. From henceforth call my service duty Madam, That Pigs head that betrayed me to your mirth, Is doing penance for't. How mean you Madam? Your neighbour Madam. She is here sir, I am betrayed Sentlove your plot, I may Have opportunity to be revenged Exit.
Plot summary
Plot — The Lady of Pleasure
Bored with country life, Aretina forces her husband, Sir Thomas Bornwell, to sell up their estate and come to live in London. There she lives extravagantly, buying expensive luxuries and gay clothes, and keeping up with her equally prodigal neighbour, the young widow Celestina. She summons her nephew Frederick home from university, unhappy that he has been turned into a serious scholar, and she asks her fashionable friends Kickshaw and Littleworth to teach him the conventions of social behaviour. Bornwell decides that all he can do is match his wife’s profligacy, and visits Celestina as one of her many suitors. He invites her back to his house as a guest. A formerly promiscuous lord has lost all interest in sex since the death of his mistress. Decoy the bawd offers to procure Aretina for him, but Aretina is his kinswoman: he refuses, and sends Decoy to Aretina with a letter purporting to be a testimonial, but which is actually a warning against the bearer. But Aretina, seeking an extra-marital liaison, treats the letter as a positive recommendation, and engages Decoy to procure Kickshaw for her. She also asks Kickshaw and Littleworth to provoke her unwanted guest Celestina, but their disparaging remarks have no effect, other than to annoy Bornwell when he overhears them; he encourages Celestina to insult them back at length. Kickshaw is invited to an assignation, which turns out to be with Decoy, disguised as a crone. She proposes a nocturnal meeting for sex, promising that she will seem much younger in the dark (primarily, of course, because she will be a different woman, Aretina incognito). That night, Aretina gives him money and rich presents, but makes him promise not to talk about his lover; instead, when he visits her at home, he boasts about his mistress and unwittingly gives her back her own gifts. The Lord’s friends introduce him to Celestina in the hope that she will rekindle his interest in women. It does, but she refuses him unless he commits himself to an honourable chastity. Bornwell has started to gamble and to lose large sums of money. Husband and wife compete with one another in conspicuous consumption—dinner parties, playgoing, balls—until Bornwell tells Aretina that they have enough left for one more month of this lifestyle, after which they will lead a life of poverty. Aretina comes to her senses and insists they return to the country; Bornwell reassures her that he has not in fact been spending money, so they are financially secure…