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Full speech
Whither in such hast man? To thy Mistress? To give her a heat this morning. Frank Tryer. Such a thing may be, the wind blows now From a more happy coast, I'll tell thee, I have a Mistress. And yet I have her not. Or rather certainty. Worse, worse, The needle of a Dial never had So many wavetings, but she is touched, And she Points only this way now, true North; I am her Pole. I laugh to think how other of her Rivals Will look when I enjoy her. No she changed Some amorous tokens, do you see this Diamond? A toy she gave me. Her flame of love is here, and in exchange She took a chain of Pearl. These to the wise are arguments of love, And mutual Promises. What's he? I guess your meaning. I was of his humour till I fell in love, I mean for wenching, you may guess a little, By my legs, but I'll now be very honest, And when I am married— From Jove himself though he should practice all His shapes to court her, 'tis impossible She should put any trick upon me, I Have won her very soul. I have a brace of Rivals Would they were here that I might Jeer em, And see how opportunely one is come, I'll make you a little sport. A Friend of mine. Whats the business? How's this? prithee observe. A Mistress love and honour? this is pretty. Of what I prithee? Whose love? Mushroompe! I'll put up a gain now I think better on't: Why look you Sir. If you bestow this Council Out of your love, I thank you; yet there is No great necessity, why you should be at The cost of so much breath, thing's well considered. A Ladies love is mortal, I know that, And if a thousand men should love a woman The dice must carry her, but one of all Can wear the Garland. For my own partly, I loved the Lady well, But you must pardon me, If I demonstrate There's no such thing as you pretend, and therefore In quittance of your loving, honest Council, I would not have you built and airy Castle, Her Stars have pointed her another way, This instrument will take her height. And you may guess what cause you have to triumph, I would not tell you this, but that I love you, And hope you will not run your self into The cure of Bedlam, he that wears this favour Hath sense to apprehend. Observe it perfectly, there are no trophies Of vanquished love, I take it, coming towards you, It will be less affront, then to expect Till the last minute, and behold the victory Another's. This was his gift to her, would, would, would! Have patience spleen, would, would! I pity him, my eyes run over, dost hear, I cannot choose but laugh, and yet I pity thee. She has a Jeering wit, and I shall love her More heartily for this. What dost think? Poor Gentleman how he has fooled himself. Nay, be not passionate! A faith thou Wertenberg too confident, I knew It could not hold, dost think Idem say so much else? I can tell thee more, but loose her memory. Stay, stay, let my eye Examine that—this Chain— The very same She took of me, when I received this Diamond. 'Tis the same. Give me thy hand. She has abused us. A pair of credulous fools. Which if he have— I think we were best let him alone. She may come to herself, and be ashamed on't. So say I too, but to give us both that canvas Lets walk, and think how to behave our selves. Nay, nay, Lady we must follow ye. Whose that peeps? That Bridegrom's merry! That n this is all that I must trust to, you Will never would me? Can you find nothing to do with me! You're a gipsy! And none of the twelve Sibills in a Tarverne, Have such a tanned complexion, there be Dogs And Horses in the world. Tell me of Spiders? I'll wring your Monkeys neck off. I could tear her Ruff! I wo'd thou wort A Whore then idem be revenged, and bring the Prentices To arraign thee on Shrovetuesday, a pox upon you. I'll go your half. 'Tis done my Lord. Will you not see they my Lord? A hundred pound to ten, a hundred p ces to to n, will No man take me? Well you shall see, a Teag a Teag heigh. Forty, fifty, a hundred pieces to ten. Well you shall see, you shall see. Talk? you prate, I'll make good what I please Sir. He must be a Pegaus that beats me. A Jockey, a Jackanapes a horseback rather, A Monkey or a Masty dog would show A Giant to him, and I were Alexander I would lay the world upon my Mare, she shall Run with the devil for a hundred pieces, Make the match who will. Whose? They are walked to hear the Nightingale. Listen, and we shall hear one presently, Cuckoo. The bird speaks to you. Now do I susp ct I shall loose the raze. A Cuckoo won't flatter, His word will go before a gentl men It'h City? 'tis and understanding bird And seldom fails, a Cuckoo, I'll hedge in My money presently. Will you go half. Hang Cuckoo's then. My Lord, Bonneville, Lacy, and his bride! Your honours servants. Your Jockey must fly else. I shall have the Reins in my own hand Lady. But will say nothing for our credits. You shall pardon me. Horses and Mares put them together. 'Tis a very ballad my Lord, and a course tune. No no, I do but dabble. You may see Lady. Do you love singing, hum, la la. Now or never. You are not the first I would cosend, shall I wash Your faces with the drops of Helicon, I would fancies in my head. Give me a subject. Enough—hum, fa, la la. 'Tis time to make me ready, Ladies I take this leave in prose, You shall see me next in other fe to. I told you as much before, you would not Believe the Cuckoo. And I had broke my neck in a clean way, Twou'ld never would grieved me, Lady I am yours, Thus Caesar fell. You shall hear further from me. That Cuckoo was a witch I'll take my death on't. Rivers of hell I come! I will swim unto thy shore, art not thou Hero. I told thee I would drown my self a hundred times a day A would? Then I am come To tickle the confines of Elizium, My Lord I invite you to my wedding, And all this good company. Do thou set the time. Married? I am bobbed again, I'll bob for no more Eels, let her take her course. He took measure of my head. Now we beth: This is rate! All of a brotherhood. In such good company twould never grieve A man to wear the willow.
Plot summary
Plot — Hyde Park
In one plot, Carol has three suitors and, claiming to be averse to marriage, torments them all. Venture gives her a chain of pearl, and she gives it to his rival, Richer. Richer gives her a diamond ring, and she gives that to Venture. She agrees to grant a request from the third suitor, Fairfield, on condition that he is not asking her to love him, marry him, or have sex with him. In fact, he asks her not to love him, and not to desire his company. They try to avoid one another on a visit to Hyde Park, but she becomes jealous on seeing him with his sister, sends for him, and sparks fly. Venture writes her a letter threatening suicide on account of unrequited love. She forges Fairfield’s signature on it, confronts him with it, and offers marriage to save his life. He denies the letter, refuses marriage, and proposes to castrate himself instead. Finally they admit that they love one another, and become engaged. In a second plot, Trier is courting Julietta, but leaves her alone with the roué Lord Bonvile, who promptly tries to court her. His advances continue in Hyde Park, and she continues to resist them, hoping to convert him from loose living. Her admonitions begin to take effect, and Bonvile reflects critically on his way of life. Trier admits that he used Bonvile as a way of testing her chastity. Disgusted, she discomfits him by demanding corresponding proofs of his fitness to be her husband. She is more willing to entertain a newly modest proposal from Bonvile. In a third plot, Bonavent the merchant has not returned from a sea voyage, and now is presumed dead: he asked his wife to wait seven years for him, and his time is up. She agrees to marry Lacy, her suitor. After the wedding, her husband arrives in disguise and witnesses the celebrations. In Hyde Park, he picks a fight with Lacy, then privately tells his wife who he really is and what happened to him: his return was delayed by pirates, and he has only now been rescued from captivity. Later, he hands out willow garlands to the four disappointed lovers, Venture, Richer, Trier, and Lacy, and reveals his identity, thereby invalidating Lacy’s marriage.