CAROL

What dee mean to do with him? Marry him. No marvel if men rail upon you that n, And doubt wh there a Widow may b saved, We Maids are thought the worse on, for your asines, How are poor women overseen? We must Cast a way our selves upon a whining lover In charity, I hope my Cousin's Ghost Will meet, as you go to Church, or if You escape it then, upon the Wedding night— When you are both a bed and candles out. May they burn blue then, at his second kiss And fright him from—well I could say something But take your course—he's come already. Put him off, but another twelve month, so, so, O love into what foolish labyrinths Dost thou lead us! I would all women were But of my mind, we would have a new world Quickly, I will go study Poetry, A purpose, to write verses in the praise Of the Amazonian Ladies, in whom only Appear true valour (for the instruction Of all posterity) to beat their husbands. I will not Be guilty of more stay. You're come in time Sir, to redeem me. You will be as comfortable as strong waters, There's a Gentleman. I had no patience to hear him long r; Take his offence before you question him. It is not civil to uesdrop him, but I'm sure he talks on't now. Of Love, is any thing more ridiculous? You know I never cherish that condition, In you 'tis the most harsh unpleasing discord, But I hope you will be instructed better Knowing how much my fancy goes against it, Talk not of that and welcome. You do love my face then! No you cannot, his was a painted Mistress, Or if it be the mind you so pretend To affect, you increase my wonder of your folly, For I have told you that so often. My mind so opposite to all your Courtship, That I had rather hear the redious tales Of Hollinghead, then any thing that trenches On Love, if you come fraught with any, Cupid's devises, keep em for his whirligiggs, Or land the next edition of his Messenger, Or post with a mad packet, I shall but Laugh at them, and pity you. Do not mistake me, it shall be a v ry Miserable pity without love! Were I a man, and had but half that handsome ness, (For though I have not love, I hate detraction,) Ere I would put my invention to the sweat Of Compliment, to court my Mistress hand And call her smile blessing beyond a Sun beam, Entr at to wait upon her, give her Rings With wanton, or most lamentable Poesies, I would turn thrasher. I will concern your peace, to have some faith in't. You neglect Your selves, the Nobleness of your birth and nature By servile flattery of this jigging, And that coy Mistress, keep your privilege Your Masculine property. Theres one just a your mind; can there be such happiness In nature, fie upont if it were possible, That ever I should be so mad to love, To which I thank my Stars I am not inclined, I should not hold such servants worth my garters, Though they would put me in security To hang themselves, and ease me of their visits. As thou dost hope for any good, rail now But a little. To laugh, but not to lie down, why! preth e do! A loud that they may hear , The more the merrier, I'll tak't as kindly As if thou hadst given me the Exchange, what all this cloud Without a shower? Good, abominable peevish, and a wench That would be beaten, beaten black and blue. And then perhaps she may have colour for't, Come, come, you cannot scold with confidence Nor with grace, you should look big and swear You are no gamester, practice Dice And Cards a little better, you will get Many confusions and fine curses by't. To show I have my reason I'll give you some good Council; and be plain wo'yee None that have eyes, will follow the direction Of a blind guide, and what dee thing of Cupid? Women are either fools, or very wise, Take that from me, the foolish women ar Not worth your love, and if a woman know How to be wise, she wonot care for you. Prithee let my body alon ! My mother was no maid. She was married long ere I was born, I take it, Which I shall never be, that rules infallible, I would not have you fooled it'h expectation, A favour all my Suitors cannot baost of, Go home and say your prayers, I wonot look For thanks till seven year hence. Take more time! Yowl over heat your self and catch a surfeit. You do intend to marry him then. How? this morning? You will join issue presently, without your council, You may be over thrown; take heed, I have known wives That have been over thrown in their own case, and after Non suited too, thats twice to be undone, But take your course, some Widow's have been mortified. What is in your Condition makes you weary? You're sick of plenty and command, you have Too too much liberty, too many servants, Your Ieweles are your own, and you would see How they will show upon your husbands wag ail, You have a Coach now, and a Christian Livery To wait on you to Church, and are not Catechise'd When you come home, you have a waitingwoman, A Monkey, Squirrel, and a brase of Islands Which may be thought superfluous in your family When husbands come to rule. A pretty Wardrobe A Tailor of your own, a Doctor too That knows your body, and can make you sick It'h spring, or fallen, or when you have a mind to't Without control, you have the benefit Of talking loud and idle at your table May sing a wanton ditty, and not be chid, Dance and go late to bed, say your own prayers, Or go to Heaven by your Chaplain. And will you loose all this? For I Sisley, take thee John, To be my Husband; keep him still to be your servant, Imitate me, a hundred suitors cannot Be half the trouble of one husband. I Dispose my frowns, and favours Like a Princess Deject, advance, undo, create again It keeps the Subject's in obedience, And teaches em to look at me with distance. 'Tis when I would nothing else to do for sport, As for example. Well said Mayest r Bridegroom, the gentleman May perhaps want exercise. Good Mars be not so sullen, yowl do more With Venus privately. This motion every morning will be wholesome And beneficial to your body Sir. Your pretty lump requires it. You danced something Like one. Why, did you ever think, I could affect Of all men living such a thing as you are. What hope, or what encouragement did I give you Because I took your Diamond, must you presently Bound Like a stoned horse. Cause you can put your hat of Like a danc r, And make a better leg, then you were born to, For to say truth your calf is well amended, Must this so overtake me, that I must Strait fallen in love w'e ye, one step to Church, Another into the Sheets, more to a bargain You're wide a bow, and some thing over shot. In my right mind, I think so Why, prithee tell me what I should do with thee? To find any Monkey spiders, were and office Perhaps you would not execute! They'le keep you company! And then puzzle Your brain to make and Elegy, which shalb sung To the tune of the devil and the baker, good! You have a pretty ambling wit in Summer, Dee let out, or keep for your own Riding, who holds your stirrup, while you jump Into a jest, to the endangering Of your ingenious quodlibets. To him, you would have some . Indeed I have herd you are a precious gentleman, And in your younger, could play at trap well. A third man, a third man, two fair gamesters. Will you stay gentleman; you would no more wit, To venture, keep your heads warm in any case, There may be dregs in the bottom oath brain pan, Which may turn to somewhat in seven years, and set You up again, now Sir. It does appear so. 'Tis granted Sir God buy. On these conditions, I would have the patience nc To hear the brazen head speak. Forboone I proceed! How's this? To what? This is fair play! This is a very strange request; are you in earnest; Ere you begin shall I except? 'tis odds But I may include, what you have a mind to, then Where your petition? You will, why look you; for a little mirths sake, And since you come so honestly, because You shannot say, I am composed of Marble, I do consent. I am not come to that, I'll first set bounds to your request, and wh n I have left nothing for you worth my grant, I'll take a zealous oath to grant you any thing. First, you shannot Desire that I should love you! No more but proceed, dee know what I say. And you are contented. What in the nam of wonder will h ask m , You shall not desire me to marry you. You shall neither directly, nor indirectly with m to lie with you, Have I not clipped the wings of your conceit. That's the third, is there anything a young man would Desire of his Miss, when he must neither love, marry, nor lie with her. Suit! if you have another suit 'tis out of fashion, You cannot beg my state, yet I would willigly Give partly of that to be rid on thee. You wo'd not have me spoil my fac , drink poison, Or kill any body. Then you wo'd not would me ride through the City naked, As once a Princess of England did through Coventry. You shall not beg my Parrat nor entreat me To fast, or wear a hair smock. I wonot be confined to make me ready At ten, and pray till dinner, I will play At gleek as often as I please, and see Plays when I have a mind to't and the rac S, Though men shoed run Adamits before me. Why then I swear—stay You shannot ask me before company How old I am, a question most untoothsome, I know not what to say more, I'll not be Bound from spring garden, and the Sparagus. I won't have my tongue tied up, when Iv'e a mind to jeer my suitors, among which Your worship shall not doubt to be r m mbr worser, For I must have my humour, I am sick else; I will not be compelled to hear your sonnets, A thing before, I thought to advice you of, Your words of hard concoction rude Poetry Have much impaired my health, try sense another while And calculate some prose according to The elevation of our pole at London, As says the learned Almanac—but come on And speak your mind, I would done, I know not what More to except, if it be none of these And as you say feazable on my partly, I swear. For once a kiss, it may be a parting blow, By that I will perform what you desire. What has the man said? You have made me swear That I must never love you, nor desire Your company. Was all this circumstance for this? I never Found any inclination to trouble him With too much love, why should he bind me from it, And make me swear, and oath that for the present, I had no affection to him, had been reasonable, But for the time to come, never to love, For any cause or reason, that may move m Hereafter, very strange, I know not what to think on't, Although I never meant, to think well on him, Yet to be limited, and be prescribed, I must not do it? it a poor trick in him, But I'll go practice something to forget it. Was this his reason, pray if you love me lets Walk by that gentleman. Is that well trust gentleman on of them that run. Would, would, Idem laugh at that! If you allow a bushel of salt to acquaintance , Pray vouchsafe two words to a bargain while you live I scarce remember him, keep in great heart. This is the Captain that did Dance. Married without question Sir. How dee mean. Before the Cards be shuffled? I lay my life you m ane a coat Carded Deal again, you gave one to many In the last trick, yet I'll tell thee what I think. I think she and you might would shown more wit. She to would kept her self a Widow, and You not to have asked me such a foolish question, But if sh had been half so wise, as in My conscience she is honest, you had missed That excellent occasion, to show Your notable skill in dancing, but it pleased The learned destinies to put things together, And so we separate. Come hither, go to that g gentleman M r . Fairefeild. Do it discreetly, I must speak to him, To ease my heart I shall burst else, Weel expect em here, Cousin, do they run nak worser? Her have been such fellows, Cousin. Some are of opinion it brings us hither, Hark what a confusion of tongues there is, Let you and I venture a pair of Gloves Upon their feet, I'll take the Irish. Heres my hand, you shall have the Gloves if you win . Can they tell what they do in this Noise, Pray Heaven it do not break into the Tombs At Westminster, and wake the dead. What for a naked weapon! But keep at some fit distance. He has gone a strange way to work with me. I am ashamed to think what I must say now. You wonnot be so impudent, I, send for you By Whom or when? Was a villain if he mentioned I had any such desire, he told me indeed You courted him to entreat me that I would Be pleased to give you another audience, And that you swoare, I know not what confound you, You would not trouble me above six words. With much ado you see I have consent worser, What is't you would say? Be you no prompter to insinuate The first word of your studied Oration, He's out ons partly, come, come I'll imagine it, Was it not something to this purpose—Lady, Or Mistress, or what you will, although I must confess; you may with justice laugh at My most ridiculous suit, and you will say I am a fool. To come a gen, whom you have so torment nted, For never was simple Camomile so trod on, Yet still I grow in love, but since there is No hope to thaw your heart, I now am desperate, O give me, lend me but the silken tie, About your leg, which some do call a garter, To hang my self, and I am satisfied, am not I a witch. What madness has Possessed you? have I not sworn you know by what, Never to think well of you, of all men Living, not to desire your company, And will you still intrude, shall I be haunted For ever, no place give me privilege; O man what art thou come to? Pardon me sir, if I have seemed too light, It was not rudeness from my heart, but a Disguise to save my honour if I found You still incredulous. In vain I see I should dissemble w'e , I must confess y'ave caught me, had you still Pursued the common path, I had fled from you, You found the constitution of women In me, whose will, not reason is their law, Most apt to do, what most they are forbidden, Impatient of curbs in their desires. O love I am thy Captive, but I am forsworn Am I not sir? Near think on't. O sir, be more religious, I never Did violate and oath in all my life, Though I would been wild, I had a care of that, And oathe's a holy obligation, And never dreaming of this chance, I took it With true intention to perform your wishes, But 'tis enrolled in that high Court already, I must confess, I could look on you now With other eyes, for my rebellious heart Is soft and capable of loves impression, Which may prove dangerous, if I cherish it, Having forsworn your love. You have relieved me! But do not triumph in your conquest sir, Be modest in your victory. If you Suspect it, call some witn sse of my vows, I will contrct my self. What sum of money is it you would borrow. This gentleman your friend has fully Possessed me with your wants, nay do not blush, Debt is no sin, though my own moneys sir Are all abroad, yet upon good security, Which he answers you can put in, I will Speak to a friend of mine. Your selves, and two sufficient Aldermen, For men are mortal and may break. You shall have fifty pounds for forty we kes To do you a pleasure. You work by stratagem and Ambuscado. Do you not think your self a proper gentleman, Whom by your want of hair some hold a wit too, You know my heart, and every thought within it How I am caught, do I not melt Like honey It'h dog days, why do you look so staring. Would I had Art enough to draw your picture, It would show rarely at the exchange, you have A medley in your face of many Nations, Your Nose is Roman, which your next debauchment, At Tavern with the help of pot or candlestick May turn to Indian flat, your lip is Austrian, And you do well to bit it; for your Chin It does incline to the Bavarian poke, But seven years may disguise it with a b ard, And make it more ill favoured; you have eyes Especially when you goggle thus, not much Unlike a Jews, and yet some men might take em For Turks, by the two half Moons that rise about m, I am and Infidel to use him thus. Dee hear one word, I'de feign speak kindly to him, Why dost not rail at me? I shall fool too much, but one word more, By all the faith and love of womankind, Believe me now, it wonot out. Hark sir the Nightingale, there is better luck Coming towards us. How sir. I must to the Coach and weep, my heart will br ak else, I'm glad he does not see me. Alas my Lord yowl loose by't! What? Honour me being my servant! hers a brace Of gentlemen will tell you as much. I weep! For what? Come towards the Lodge, and drink a sillabub. I never thought you were a Poet sir. You can sing early too, how w re these parts Observed, invisible? Who would would thought these qualities were in you, Why I was cosend. Like Jupiter you want a Vulcan but To cleave your skull, and out peeps bright Minerva. Let it be how much you dare suffer for me. You talk as you inclined to a consumption, Is the wine good? My service to you Lady, and to him Your thoughts pr far. No de pe one? 'tis lawful for gentlewomen To wish well to their friends. Married? Mine! Dee think he loves me then? Your Brother? then that danger's not so great, but Let us change our argument: with your pardon, Come hither pretty one; how old are you? He is upon the matter then, fifth n . You can play your Cards already it see m , come drink A this sillabub! And yet all they that do so are no fools, Money or Lands make not a man the wiser, I know handsome gentlemen would paned Their clothes. Wipe your mouth, here's to you sir! They are started. Silk stockings. Done! I'll have em Spanish sent. 'Tis done, if Venture Knew but my lay it would half break his neck now, And crying a Jockey hay. 'Tis but a pair of gloves. Within a Jockey. I would feign see how Venture looks. Why, how now sir! To me? from Venture he is very mindful, good, I shall make use of this. Excellent stuff, but I must have another Name subscribed. Your servants wait upon While they compliment with my Lord, let you and I Change afew words. Then to the purpose Touching your brother, Lady, It tedious to repeat, he has b n pl as'd To think well of me, and to trouble you With the discourse how I have answered it It vain, but thus how ere he seem to carry it While you were present, I do find him desperate. Nay I speak no conjecture, I have more Intelligence than you imagine, you are his sister, And nature binds you to affect his safety, By some convenient Messenger send for him; But as you love his life do not delay it; Alas I shall be sorry, any gentleman Should for my sake take any desparat course. I know the inconsiderate will blame Me for his death, I shall be railed upon And have a thousand cruelties thrown on me, But would you have me promise love and flatter him? I would do much to save his life, I could Show you a paper, that would make you ble worser To see his resolution, and what Strange and unimitable ways he has Vowed to pursue, I tremble to think on em. There's not a punishment in fiction And Poets write euough of hell, if you Have read their story, but heel try the worst, Were it not that I fear him every minute. And that all haste were requisite to save him, The should peruse his letter. Since, I must confess, I wondered, But you in this shall see I have no malice, I pray send for him, as I am a gentlewoman I have pure intention to preserve his life; And cause I see the truth of his affliction, Which may be yours or mine, or any bodies Whose passion are neglected, I will try My best skill to reduce him, here's M. Tryer! He now depends upon your charity, Send for him by the love you bear a brother. I shall be still your servant. Y'ar a strange gentleman, Alas, what do you mean? is it because I have dealt justly with you, without flat ry Told you my heart, yowl take these wicked courses? But I am loath to chide, yet I must tell you You're too, too blame, alas you know affection Is not to be compelled, I have been as kind To you as other men, nay I still thought. A little better of you, and will you Give such example to the rest, Because forsooth, I do not love you, Will you be desperate? 'Twere a fine credit for you, but perhapp S Yowl go to hell to be revenged oh me, And teach the other gentlemen to follow ye, That men may say 'twas long of me and rail at My unkindness, is this all your Christianity? Or could you not prosecute your impious purpose, But you must send me word on't, and perplex My conscience with your devilish devises Is this a letter to be sent a Mistress? You were best deny your hand. There be short days in hell. Alas not I. Is it not? Whither is fled your piety! but sir I have no meaning to exasperate Thoughts that oppose your safety, and to show I have compassion, and delight in no Men ruin, I will frame my self to love you. Heres my hand I will; Be comforted, I have a stronger faith. I'll loose my humour to preserve a life, You might would met with some hard hearted Mistress, That would a suffered you to hang or drown Your self. And carried new S To the distressed Ghosts, but I am merciful, But do not you mistake me, for I do not This out of any extraordinary Former good will, only to save your life. There be so many beams convenient, And you may slip out of the world before We are aware, beside you dwell to near The River, if you should be melancholy After some tides, you would come in, and be More talked off then the Pilchards, but I would done: You sha'not go to hell for me, I now Am very serious, and if you please To think well of me instantly weel marry, I'll see how I can love you afterwards, Shall's to the Priest? You do suspect I jeer still? by my troth I am in earnest. To save thy life, I will not be troubled with thee How? Sir, sir, as you love goodness I'll tell you all, first hear me, and then execute, You wonot be so foolish, I do love you. My heart is full, and modesty forbids I should use many words, I see my folly, You may be just, and use me with Like cruelty, But if you do I can instruct my self, And be as miserable indeed as I Made you in supposition, my thoughts Point upon no sensuality, remit What's passed, and I will meet your best affection, I know you love me still, do not refuse me. If I go once more back, you never recover me. Then lets clapped up wisely, While we are both i'th humour, I do find A grudging, and your last words stick in my stomach Say is't a Match? speak quickly, or for ever Hereafter hold your peace. Why done! My hand and heart, this shall suffice till morning. Hold me not worth the hanging. 'Tis time I think, sister isle shortly call you. But you are not Leander if you be not drowned, In the Hellespont. Your letter did. It was a devilish good one. After to morrow, name it, this gentleman And I shall be married i'th morning, and you know We must have a time to dine, and dance to bed. A thousand welcomes. Perhaps good counsel Applied while his despair is gre n may cure him, If not?