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Full speech
Sigillatum et deliberatum in praesentiam not ari . Publici. I thank you Gentlemen. Master Confident, Rapture your most humble servant— Not since I procured they a thousand pound, I beseech you do not Vex me with his remembrance. I have paid Some moneys for him, he has other friends That would be glad to embrace him. Would I could reach him. I would show As much to him, if I could set my phangs on him. It's at my suit. I do but led the dance to twenty more. That were a pretty jest. Look to your charge. They can tame you. My Lord. I have a letter from a noble friend of yours. You may come out when you please, if your worship Will be at leisure to peruse this paper, There is his name, hath been at all this charge, Who has commanded me to ask your pardon, And on my knees I beg it, I am undone else, For ever with his Lordship. It was without his knowledge, Master Confident Charmed me into it, the devil did assist. Yes, we three, I am sorry for it, And if your worship have occasion To use a hundred pieces more, I have'em Ready at your service, pray entreat him to Accept it, I expect no scribbling for it, Nor use, nor principal, nor his word; but to My Lord, that I may be the driver still of all his moneys. If they be not weight, I'll change they. I humbly thank your worship. Hang him, Master Confident, It will refresh my heart to be revenged; Some say men's blood, I say their bones are sweetest. I'de make him and example, I'll not tell My shirt on't, how honest Master Confident? And Actium of a thousand pound more, For the Lord Fitzavarice.
Plot summary
Plot — The Example
Money troubles have driven Sir Walter Peregrine to go to war in Europe to keep him away from his creditors in England. In his absence, his wife Bellamia is being pursued by Lord Fitzavarice, who plies her with rich gifts. She chastely refuses him, but he feels that, since he is known to have courted her, it is a matter of honour that the seduction should succeed. He pursues her to her chamber and offers to surrender her husband’s mortgage if she will sleep with him, then pay off his debts £100 a time in return for subsequent nights of passion. When she still refuses him, he threatens rape, and she faints. The experience converts him from his louche ways: he is relieved to learn that she is not dead, and returns the mortgage anyway, impressed with her virtue. A captain comes from the Netherlands on a recruiting mission. Sir Walter takes the opportunity to accompany him and pays a flying visit to his wife. She proposes to pay his debts with Lord Fitzavarice’s gifts, but he assumes that these are the rewards of adultery and challenges the Lord to a duel. Fitzavarice, recognizing that he is obliged to answer the challenge, appoints Confident as his second. But Confident’s reputation for valour is undeserved: rather than have to prove it by fighting, he tips off Sir Walter’s creditors and has him arrested for his debts before the duel can take place. Lord Fitzavarice disowns the ploy and secures Sir Walter’s release by paying his debts. Sir Walter realizes that his suspicions must be false—an adulterer would find it more convenient to keep him in jail—but the Lord insists on going through with the duel. Both men are slightly wounded, and honour is satisfied. In the sub-plot, Vainman and Pumicestone have both borrowed heavily to finance their courtship of Bellamia’s sister, Jacintha. They agree that whichever of them wins her will cover the other’s expenses. Jacintha is not disposed to marry anyone, but asks them to demonstrate which of them loves her best. Rather than send them to do dangerous deeds, she imposes difficult conditions: they must both visit her every day for six months, during which time Vainman must not speak a word and Pumicestone must do the opposite of everything she asks. She then contrives a situation in which their compliance is embarrassing. At her instigation they also visit her uncle, the plot-obsessed Sir Solitary, and pretend to be agents of a foreign power; Jacintha also arranges for servants to pose as officers come to arrest them.…