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Full speech
I thank you sir, a has a courtly phrase i'faith. Yes forsooth sir, I am a poor Gentlewoman that fol lowes 'am. Sir John Have-little I think. By my troth he's and honest Knight, a has no fault but that he's poor, and thats a small fault now adais: but let me see sir I pray, were you never a Gentleman Usher before? Then you must be instructed sir. I hope you and I shall be more inward sir, and for your instruction I shall be glad to lay open any secrets that I have; therefore first you must observe: would you any Tables? Pluck out your pin and write down as I shall ut ter: to be always ready, standing bore, to be employed, when, where, and howsoever your Ladies please. You must never be without money of your own, to lay out when your Ladies bid you, as eighteen pence to the Por ter, half a Crown to the Coachman, or twelve pence for a torch if their Ladyships come home late at night. If you be sent by your Lady to another Lady, to know what rest she took ith' night, you shall deliver your answer joust as it came from the Lady: you must always be in a clean band, and clean cuffs, how fowl so ere your shirt be. You may by virtue of your office were a Perewig, provided, it be joust of the colour of your beard: let me see, you have a hatched sword of your own there, have ye not? Was well done, you may wear it by your office, what, is your Cloak linde through? 'Tis well done too, your Ladies love to have it Linde a good depth in, 'tis for their credit. What, are these silver hangers of your own? They are in trouble, are they? Nay though they be, 'tis no shame, you have been long out of service perchance. Byr'lady 'tis a long time, but can you endure to walk some half a day in the Hall or the great Chamber, while some great Lord is busy with your Lady in and inner room? you may sleep and honre or two as your Citizens wives do at a Sermon to pass away the time, but you must have a care to wake at the rushing of a Satin gown, or the creaking of a door, that if your Lady come, you may be presently up and bore. You must stand stiff up, and hold up your head, 'tis the chiefest thing belongs to your place, look here comes the elder Lady: Madam heeres the Gentleman that Sir John Have-little commended to your Ladyshippe for a Gentleman Usher. Sure Madam then he's a Gentleman, for he thats but admitted to the house is a Gent. much more he thats be got in the house. Indeed if you mean marriage, I am content to bear the more with you: but I pray sir, when shall we be married? by my troth I ask you, because I have been so often de ceiued, I warrant you I have been promised & dealt upon promises in the way of marriage above and hundred times. If I be not fair sir, I must be foul. Marry muff, I think a be a Tanner, and means to buy me for my skin. A foul Lady? you're a saucy Jack to call me so, that you are. Kindness; faith sir you are mistaken in me, you must seek your flurts some other where, and I pray come not to make a fool of me: alas man though I am a waiting woman do not think I spend my time in nothing but tem pering of colours, working of drawn-work, warming of Smocks, and pinning in of ruffs, faith yes. Faith I, and you come to begin your knavery on me, isle take you down: I am none of your young simpering waiting-women, that are ashamed to be counted proud, & therefore suffer every Servingman to use them at their pleasure.
Plot summary
Plot — The Fleer
Before the start of the action, Piso deposed Antifront, whose daughters thereupon fled from Florence. Antifront now travels in search of his missing children. He arrives in London under the alias Fleer, and meets some gentlemen. One of them, Spark, gets him a job with two of his countrywomen, a pair of Florentine courtesans working in London. Antifront is dismayed to discover that they are his missing daughters. Two sisters, Susan and Nan, are interested in Spark and his friend Ruffle, who are among the courtesans’ many clients. They dress up as boys and try to get the gentlemen to employ them as pages; Spark and Ruffle refuse, and the ‘pages’ end up working for two other clients, Sir John Havelittle and Piso junior, the son of the Florentine usurper. ‘Fleer’ wants to engineer a marriage for his daughters, selecting Havelittle and Piso as the eligible bachelors. The daughters prefer Spark and Ruffle, but are refused; taking offence, they ask Piso and Havelittle to kill the gentlemen, and suggest poison as the safest method. The plot is overheard by ‘Fleer’ and the ‘pages’. ‘Fleer’ gets himself another job looking after an apothecary’s shop, and sells Piso and Havelittle a poison which is really a sleeping potion. Spark and Ruffle dine with Piso and Havelittle and apparently die. The hosts are at once arrested on suspicion of poisoning and are committed for trial. Fleer is sent on an errand to the senior judge, who is unable to attend through illness, and sends word back for the other two judges to proceed without him. Given a ring to authenticate the message, Fleer instead uses it to get himself deputized as the third judge. He produces a letter which establishes that the guilt extends to the daughters as well as the poisoners, and all four are sentenced to death. News arrives that Piso’s father has died, making him the new Duke of Florence; but-he tells the Florentines to recall the deposed Antifront instead, and offers to make amends for his father’s treason by marrying Antifront’s elder daughter. Antifront reveals his identity and says Piso can do just 1606 that; his younger daughter will marry Havelittle. He produces the murder victims, still alive, and bestows them on Nan and Susan.