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Full speech
Good madam be patient. Now by the soul of chastity I swear, a is a proper man. See, see how a looks, do you not perceive his heart beat hither? Save you Knight. I most fear 'tis Like lightning before thunder, I pray have a careyehold fast. No, I would not have a Knight if I might, for there are so many, as they are forgotten what they be. To me? Look you Madam, your husband now makes love to me. Thou needest not love, speak what thou wilt, if gently thou do speak, thy words to me are much more Musical then is a Sire's voice. Orpheus himself could never strain his high stretched strings to such Melodious sounds, as when thy voice does pierce the are. Despised, and left alone, filde brim full of grief, and no way to unload me of my cares. But through these running eyes, in streams of tears. I pray you seek somewhere else, if you be ill, For I in Surgery-have little skill. Prithee tell me too, how am I dressed? And that's pity; for I can tell you, I am of my self a rare bit. Come, thou hast such a deal of wit. That I will, but why then dost thou obscure thy Bravery? this thy Petticoat is a great deal richer the thy Gown. But for all this Idle talk, I would we had appoint ted our marriage to morrow morning. Phoe, but 'tis not the fashion. I, 'tis but dishonourable to marry thus in hugger mug her, men will say we are with child, and are ashamed to show our faces. Yesterday, why dost ask? For what I pray thee? alas woman, those that are passed child bearing, use to long for that too. No, I think so too, but only a desire thou hast to try the difference of men, and therefore I think thou Wertenberg best next to marry and old man with a white head, because thou mayest sleep quiet & not be troubl worser a nights. True, and then when thy husband is a broad in traf ficke for commodities, in other countries, why thou mayest deal at home for ready money No, why? Nay then marry a Soldier, for questionless most of them will use their wives well, for they love their punks ex ceedingly. I understand so much by your name good Master Nuecome. Yet I have known them steal out of them ere now. I, such a one as the good thief was. I have herd most of your Country men are very active men. Is it possible? I, but they say, they cannot press a man to the wars though, in all your country. By your leave Master Nuecome, me thinks you have a pr tie lace on your band What's your breech made all of one stuff Master Nuecome? Because me thinks the soil change's here behind I will an't be a good thing? My maiden-dead! faith . Nay, I cannot tell, you were best try. But I pray thee tell me one thing now, The reason why thou art come run away from thy Father, considering the foreman of your Shop, me thought was a good handsome fellow. Well Nan w ll, thou art happy, thou were't born under a good Planet, thou hast store of suits, but prithee look, is there none hear's our counsel? I think and ill star reigned when I was born, I cannot have as much as suitor, this Master Nuecome that you for sooth so much scorn: I could find in my heart to pray ine times to the Moon, and fost three Saint Annes eves, so that I might be sure to have him to my husband. Not waking yea & a too, for here I vow even by the chastest thoughts that ere was nur ed within Diamond naes breast and by those purple drops chaste Lucres spilled, and by the vnstainde coulloar of a maidens blush, that I will prove as true unto his bed, as ere did she that did V lisses wed. Oh that's because thou art not hungry. And he follows you Like infection. And hates me as much, for if I come but near him, he swears I am Like a Kybe, always at his heals. A Priests wife I warrant you, because thou wouldst fare costly, and live lasily. They say to, most of your Countrymen are we rye valiant Fie, they are greasy. Why I think a means you are but a light huswife, but come let's leave him. I, but that's but their faults, yet you know their calling is honourable though. I have herd you are all Gentlemen.
Plot summary
Plot — Cupid's Whirligig
Cupid comes to London to wreak some mischief, unseen by the inhabitants. This entails making three men abandon their mistresses and court other women. Alderman Venture is trying to arrange a marriage between his daughter Nan and the son of Lord Nonsuch, but the old lord thinks both parties are too young to get married. Young Nonsuch is one of many men trying to seduce Lady Troublesome; she is chaste, but her husband is obsessively afraid of being cuckolded. When Young Nonsuch writes importuning her for an assignation, she tells her husband. He plans to intercept the would-be adulterer by bribing the person sent ahead to prepare the way. In the event, the plan goes awry: Nonsuch comes in disguise as his own herald, and gets some time alone with the lady before Sir Timothy realizes what is happening. Convinced that he is now a cuckold, the knight castrates himself. For his second attempt on Lady Troublesome, Young Nonsuch poses as a begging soldier, Slack, and gets himself hired as Sir Timothy’s household servant. The lady proves just as resistant as when he courted her in his own identity. Sir Timothy’s other servant, Wages, overhears the attempted seduction, but ‘Slack’ assures him that it was merely a test of chastity authorized by their master. ‘Slack’ tells Sir Timothy that his wife is pregnant, and encourages him to seek a divorce; Wages tries to persuade him otherwise. _ Having failed with two identities, Young Nonsuch tries a third, ‘Captain Woodley. When Lady Troublesome warns him that her husband is coming and intends violence, he hides. In fact, the caller is another would-be seducer, Exhibition. She sees him off, but Sir Timothy passes him on the way out, and arrives to find ‘Woodley’ in his wife’s room. She explains that she was hiding him from Exhibition, but Sir Timothy is not satisfied and sends ‘Slack’ to procure a divorce. This will leave him free to marry Lady Troublesome’s kinswoman, Peg, while Young Nonsuch will-be able to have Lady Troublesome. Meanwhile, the courtier Newcome, who should be wooing Peg, has transferred his affections to Nan. ‘Wages arranges a triple wedding, but plans that each lady will be disguised as another, so that the three will end up married to the ‘right’ man: Lady Troublesome to Sir Timothy, Nan to Young Nonsuch, and Peg to Newcome. After the wedding, the couples visit Old Lord Nonsuch in a wedding masque, and, upon unmasking, realize whom they have married. In the confusion, Correction the clergyman has…