NEWCOME

I cry you mercy sir, I did not see you. I pray sir be not angry, I have not any way of fended you, nor would— Sir, I come not to offend you, nor— Sir, then know, I scorn my eyes should stand as witnesses unto your Ladies wrongs, and let you go vnpu nished: slight see a sweet Lady abused! Whom hast thou served friend? O here she is; pray God my Band fit well. Fair Lady, may I presume with the Be to suck Honey from thy lips, for I dreamed the last night. That I was transfigured, metamorphosed, or trans formed into a flay in thy Bed. Me thought you did did, but first I dreamt I flung you. And then me thought, as I was skipping from your knee unto your thigh, & so forth; you told a Gentleman of it, a friend of yours; who most courtly and softly putting in his hand to catch me. Spretious she's gone, sure t'is the acuteness of my ingenuity, which makes my jests so stin ging, as she cannot endure them: I must needs eat some of your new court-water-gruell, to qualify my my invention. T'is but for my wit she loves me: I sent her tricks already: for Courtiers must aswell thriving be, Have Noses to smell out, as Eyes to see. Your shadow if you please, and you my sub stance. Do'y hear me sir, upon my conscience you do wrong your Lady. Believe it Lady, this was well done, and Like a La die of a High birth: make your husband know his advance meant. To save our Landed men at home. Yes I made it new Lady? Faith Lady for mine own partly I am no men Ape, this is my fashion, and sometime I stand in the pre sense with my cloak linde through, either with velvet or with Taffeta, if with Velvet, I let him hang on my shoul der, making the greatest show, carry my hat here. I keep my place of standing, carry my body stiff and upright, blush not, am impudent enough, when perchance the heat of the Ladies affection makes her take place of standing, either against the hangings or one of the bay windows, and therewith a greedy eye feeds on my exteryors, which perceiving, I draw to her, kiss my hand, & accorst her thus. Oh, I know him well indeed, he is on the English nation, hath much employments. Go to sirrah, I fear you are a counterf item Rogue. Nay be not a grie good friend for if ith I love a Soldier with all my heart, for indeed I have a Counterfeit ssen is one, would give thee something, but i'faith I have no siller, yet I give thee eighteen pence in conceit, and so farewell. Hum, hum, hum, by the greatest terror to Gentili tie, which indeed is Creditors and Sergeants, this Roaguie Taylor came upon me with such a bill as a man were better have ten Constables and their Watches come up Pon him with their bills: why good words, or a dozen of ale will please them, but nothing will stop this rogues mouths but money: and yet i'faith I am greatly in his books, for though I misuse him never so much, yet the Rogue durst not cross me. Enter Boy. Let me see Boy, mass 'tis a pretty Doublet. Oh I, come, come pluck, but take heed of my ruff I pray thee this doublet is too little, a pox in him. No when he is off, I mean boy. I thank her very heartily, I pray commend me to her. I thank you heartily, 'tis for mine ease, the weather is hight, hight, very hight. Do so good friend, farewell, farewell. What a beast was I to put off my band, yet the greiefs the less, because he came from Peg, which is a Wench I must confess dotes on my exterior virtues, but I can by no means affect his: only, because the poor Wretch, in heat of her passion shall not melt her self away in tears, she sometime enforceth me to swear and protest I of fect her, marry always with mental reservations for my souls health, for you know that sometime it is policy Courtiers and Statesmen should use fallacy. Now by my conscience I am deceived. Well, give me your hand then, since S my fate, What marriage , isle never separate. Well, since 'tis thus hence forth isle love thee ever, for que sera, sera, gainst what plots so ever, but who is this, master Correction? Oh how perfumed your Courtiers phraisies are: I left him in health sir. Oh, a was my countryman Lady, he was a borderer on North wales, I can assure you. Yes Lady, all of us that are Courtiers: marry before when we were poor country fellows, we suffered our beards carelessly to grow downward, and then they grow into our mouths in spite of our teeth, now you know hair is but excrement, & for mine own partly, I had rather have my excrement in my nose, then in my teeth. Oh Lady, I have seen a youth of eighteen years in our Country, would a capered you, thus hie! yes Knights: I, for france Spain and England, and such neigh bour countries, why I have been as far as Win chester my self. Indeed I must confess Lady, we have few beg gers, and those we have, we reward according, for if he be a lusty Knave, we give him a Lawyers alms, tell him of the stature: if a poor and decrepit fellow, we give him a Citizens wives charity, cry God help him, God help him. A pretty slight court lace, all show, all show Oh, a Sallamander Lady, 'tis a Sallamander bred with the continual heat of sweating— Pray why do you ask? If any man pass by and salute me, I salute him a gain, but if any Lady or Gentlewoman glide through the presence, and cast her eye on me, as commonly they use to do on men, that makes any show or glister as I always do. Oh monstrous herresie, he will be damned for that error. Come, lets break out upon him. Farewell Knight. Who was thy Captain? Who, captain Gregory Pipe? Is the Taylor gone? Go fetch me my doublet their, My day Gods light, my day? why what doth take me for, I think? A Gentleman, and remember my day, no, isle hold my life he takes me for some Merchant or Citizen, but isle make him know my strength, e e I leave him, he shall find a second Sampson of me. I can break my bonds boy, I can, I can. Does it indeed? mass I think it do, me thinks I have a reasonable good leg in't. Yea, why too short? Why? my Calf is not very great. Not so much, but come help off my doublet now. Come, isle see how 'twill look here, and go thou and watch the door, that no body come the while, hum, hum, hum, if I had a band for't. But what if any body should come the while? Mass that's true: hum, hum, hum. Oh 'tis Master Nuecome, I know him, a fine Gentleman i'faith isle salute him by and by as I pass. Master Nue come I take it, I cry you heartily mercy good Master Nue come, I am glad to see you in good health sir, I shall entreat you to pardon me, I protest I did not know you in that suit, you have a very fair doubl tun, the Gods give you joy sir: There is never a Lord in the Land may be ashamed to wear it sir, rap, rap, rap, rap. Gods light carry away my Doublet quickly, quickly, quickly. Gods precious my Band, what shall I do now? Oh, we make the excellentest Soldiers in the world. I think they are something sweaty indeed with hunting. No, 'tis a shirt Lady. No, not a whit, for I will love you ever. As how? as how? prithee how? Why confess and be hanged ever. I will, and that most stiffly i'faith. No none, speak boldly lass.