FLOWERDALE

Ho! whoes within ho? Uncle, where are you Uncle? within, By the Lord, in truth Uncle. By your leave Uncle, the Lord, is the Lord of truth. A couple of rascals at the gate, set upon me for my purse. By my truth Uncle, you must needs lend me ten pound. Nay look you, you turn it to a jest now, by this light, I should ride to Croydon fair, to meet sir Lancelot Spurrock, I should have his daughter Luce, and for scurvy Ten pound, a man shall lose nine hundred threescore and odd pounds, and a daily friend beside, by this hand Unc kle 'tis true. To see now: why you shall have my bound Uncle, or Tom Whites, James Brocks: or Neck Halls, as good rapyer and dagger men, as any be in England, lets be damned if we do not pay you, the worst of us all will not damn our selves for ten ponnd. A pox often pound. Why trust me now, you know not what may fallen: If one thing were but true, I would not greatly care, I should not need ten pound, but when a man cannot be be leeued, ther's it. Marry this Uncle, can you tell me if the Katern hue be come home or no? By God I thank you for that news. What is't in the pool can you tell? What? why then I have six pieces of vellet sent me I'll give you a piece Uncle for thus said the letter, A piece of Ash-colour, a three pilde black, a colourde deroy, A crimson, a sad green, and a purple: yes i'faith. From who? why from my father? with commendam tions to you Uncle, and thus he writes: I know says he, thou hast much troubled thy kind Uncle, whom God-willing at my return I will see amply satisfied: Amply, I remember was the very word; so God help me. Y S I have the letter here, here is the letter: no, yes, no let me see, what breeches wore I a Saturday: let me see, a Tues day, my Calymanka, a Wednesday, my peach colour Satin, a Thursday my Vellure, a Friday my Callymanka again, a Saturday, let me see a Saturday, for in those breeches I wore a Saturday is the letter: Oh my riding breeches Ankle, those that you thought had be vellet, In those very breeches is the letter. Marry Didicimo tersios septembris, no no, trydisimo ter sios Octobris, I Octobris so it is. Dead? Sblood, how should my father come dead? Nay I cannon weep you extempore, marry some two or three days hence, I shall weep without any stintance. But I hope he died in good memory. By God I assure you, then there is knavery abroad. I hope he died in good estate. His will, have you his will? I'll do reason Uncle, yet i'faith I take the denial of this ten pound very hardly. By God you denied me directly. Why he said he would lend me none, and that had wont to be a direct denial, if the old phrase hold: Well Uncle, come weel fallen to the Legasies, In the name of God, Amen. Item, I bequeathe to my brother Flowerdale, three hundred pounds, to pay such triuall debts as I owe in London. Item, to my son Ma Flowerdale, I bequeathe two bail of false dice, Uidelliced, high men, and lo men, fullomes, stop cater trays, and other bones of function. Sblood what does he mean by this? These precepts I leave him, let him borrow of his oath, For of his word no body will trust him. Let him by no means marry and honest woman, For the other will keep her self. Let him steal as much as he can, that a guilty conscience May bring him to his destinate repentance, I think he means hanging. And this were his last will and Testament, the Devil stood laughing at his beds feet while he made it. Sblood, what does he think to fop of his posterity with Paradoxes. I, well, nay come good Uncle, let me have this ten pound, Imagine you have lost it, or robbed of it, or misreckond your self so much: any way to make it come easily off, good Uncle. I marry does it, this is a fellow of some sense, this: Come good Uncle. Shall I not fail? Nay isle come my self. What wouldst thou serve? Why isle tell thee what thou shalt do, thou says thou hast twenty pound, go into Burchin Lane, put thy self into clothes, thou shalt ride with me to Croyden fair. Well Uncle, you will not fail me and hour hence? Whats thy name Kester? Well, provide thy self: Uncle farewelll till anon. How now, fie, fit in the open room, now good sir Lancelot, & my kind friend worshipful Ma ster Weathercock, What at your pint, a quart for shame. Come, gives some Music, weel go dance, Begone Lancelot, what, and fair day too? Nay if you say so, fairest of all fairs, Then isle not dance, a pox upon my tailor, He hath spoiled me a peach colour shute, Cut upon cloth of silver, but if ever the Rascal serve such and other trick, I'll give him leave i'faith to put me in the Can lender of fools: and you, and you, sir ; and Master Weathercock, my goldsmith too on tother side, I bespoke thee Luce, a carkenet of gold, and thought thou shouldst a had it for a fairing, and the Rogue puts me in for Oryant Pearl: but thou shalt have it by sunday night wench. To me? Oh I know him sir, he is a fool, But reasonable rich, his father was one of these lease-mongers, these corn -monger, these money-mongers, but he never had the wit to be a whore-monget. Yes faith, a good old knave. I marry shall he, press-cloth and karsie, White pot and drowsen broth: tut, tut, he cannot. Well said vlitan vlattan. Is your name master Oliver I pray the ? No burr I de gladly know if a man might not have a foolish plot out of master Oliver to work upon. Let him come, let him come. Well I forbear you for your friends sake. Woodcock a my side, why master Weathercock you know I am honest, howsoever trifles. I God be praised, he is far enough, He is gone a pilgrimage to Paradise. And left me to cut a caper against care, Luce look on me that am as light as air. What wouldst thou have me quarrel with him Hark you sir, a word. You shall hear from me, and that very shortly. What if should come more? I am fairly dressed. Come lets about it: if that a will sweet Kyt, Can get the wench, I shall renown thy wit. Syrrha Kyt, tarry thou there, I have spied sir Lance , and old Weathercock coming this way, they are hard at hand, I will by no means spoken with all. Who master Oliver and I? as good friends as can be. No such thing sir Lancelot, a my reputation, As I am and honest man. Nay I do not engage my reputation there is not, You shall not bind me to any condition of hardness: But if there be any thing between ut, then there is, If there be not, then there is not: be or be not, all is one. You may be deceived sir Lancelot, the Italian Hath a pretty saying, Questo? I have forgotten it too, out of my head, but in my translation hold thus, thou hast a friend, keep him. Well what is between us, can hardly be altered: you, Sir Lancelot, I am to ride forth to morrow, That way which I must ride, no man must deny Me the Sun, I would not by any particular man, Be denied common and general passage. If any one Says Flowerdale, thou passest not this way: My answer is, I must either on or return, But return is not my word, I must on: If I cannot, then make my way, nature Hath done the last for me, and the the fine. That is as much to say, a man should hear mor Then he should speak. You say well. You say true, what do you call him Hath it there in his third canton? It , it necessary. I'faith sir, Jam sure I never did you harm: Some good I have done, either to you or yours, I am sure you know not, neither is it my will you should. I my will sir foot do you know ought of my will? Begod and you do sir, I am abused. Nay but sir Lancelot? Nay but hear me sir Lancelot. Will you so put me too it? Stay: fallen out, what may fallen, my love Is above all: I will come. By the mass thats true: now help Kyt, The marriage ended, weel make amends for all. And thou shalt see, when once I have my dower, In mirth weel spend, Full many a merry hour: As for this wench, I not regard a pin, It is her gold must bring my pleasures in. Uncle, this is she i'faith: Master Under-sheri e A rest me? at whose suit? draw Kit. Why Uncle, Uncle. My uncle here mad, and disposed to do me wrong, But here's my man, and hone fellow By the lord, and of good credit, knows all is true. You are not cousend, nor is she undone, They slander me, by this light they slander me; Look you, my uncle heres a usurer and would undo me, in law, do you but me, you shall do no more You brother Civet, and master Weathercock, do but Bail me, and let me have my marriage money Paid me, and w ride down, and there your own Eyes shall see, how my poor tenants will welcome me You shall but bail me, you shall do no more, And you gre y gnat, their bail will serve. Look you Uncle, she kneels to you. I by God Uncle, and my bound too. A plague go with you for and old fornicator: Come Kyt the money, come honest Kyt. And why sir pardon you? give me the money You old Rascal, or I shall make you. Content sir, sblood she shall be content Whither she will or no. A rattle baby come to follow me: Go get you gone to the greasy chuff your father, Bring me your dowry, or never look on me. Hang thee, her friends and father altogether. My father was and As e, and old Ass. Well you old rascal, I shall meet with you, Syrrha get you gone, I will not strip the livery Over your ears, because you paid for it: But do not use my name, syrrha do you hear? look you do not Use my name, you were best. I'll pay thee not a penny, and for security, isle give thee none, Minckins look you do not follow me, look you do not: If you do beggar, I shall slit your nose. Why turn whore, thats a good trade, And so perhaps isle see thee now and then. Stand, deliver your purse. Come, come, your purse lady, your purse. I, a plague ont, I thank your father, But sister, come, your money, come: What the world must find me, I am born to live, 'Tis not a sin to steal, when none will give. Well sin, isle not meddle with you, because I have a charge. I thank you sister. A plague go with you for a karsie rascal: This Deuenshy I think is made all of pork, His hands made only, for to he we up packs: His heart as f to and big as his face, As differing far from all brave gallant minds As I to serve the hogs, and drink with hinds, As I am very near now: well, what remedy, When money, means, and friends, do grow so small, Then farewell life, and and end of all. I prithee lend me so much as will pay for my supper, I'll pay you again, as I am a Gentleman. A Vagabond indeed, more villains you They gave me counsel that me: Those Devils first brought me to this I am, And being thus, the first that do me wrong. Well, yet I have one friend left in store, Not far from hence, there dwells a Cokatryce, One that I first put in a satin gown, And not a tooth that dwell within her head, But stands me at the least in 20 pound: Her will I visit now my coin is gone, And as I take it here dwells the Gentlewomen. What ho, is Mistesse within? Why so, this is as it should be, being poor, Thus art thou sir ed by a vile painted whore. Well, since thy damned crew do so abuse thee, I'll try of honest men, how they will use . Sir I beseech you to take compassion of a man, One whose Fortune's have been better then at this instant they seem to bee': but if I might crave of you so much little portion, as would bring me to my friends, I should rest thankful, v till I had requited so great a . Worse ends: nay, if it fallen out No worse then in old angels I care not, Nay now I have had such a fortunate beginning, I'll not let a: sixepennie-purse escape me, By the Mass, here comes another. God bless you fair Mistress. Now would it please you gentlewoman to look into the wants of a poor Gentleman, a younger brother, I doubt not but God will Triple restore it back again, one that never before this time demanded penny, , nor farthing. Now God thank you sweet Lady: if you have any friend, or Garden-house, where you may employ a poor gentleman as your friend, I am yours to command in all see cret service. This is will luck, I perceive Will not thrive: here comes more. God forgive me, Sir Arthur, and M. Oliver, afore God, I'll speak to them, God save you Sir Arthur God save you M. Oliver. Nay, M. , I'll not fight with you, Alas sir you know it was not my doings, It was only a plot to daughter: By God, I never meant you . By my troth M. Oliver, sick, very sick; And God is my Judge, I know not what means to make for her, good Gentlewoman. Yes faith, I tell you : M. , if you would do me the small kindness, but to lend me forty shillings: So God help me I will pay you oh as my ability shall make me able, as I a gentleman. I tell you true, sir Arthur, as I am a gentle man. By the Lord this is . Five golden Angels compassed in and hour, If this trade hold, isle never a new. Welcome sweet gold: and beggary adue. Whose here, my Uncle, and my man Kester? By the mass 'tis they. How do you Uncle, how dost thou Kester? By my troath Uncle, you must n edes lend Me some money, the poor gentlewoman My wife, so God help me, is very sick, I was robbed of the hundred angels You gave me, they are gone. Nay Uncle, do you hear? good Uncle. Kester, honest Kester. you are and old lying Rascal, So you are. By this light a Dutch Fro, they say they are called Kind, by this light isle try her. By my troath sweet heart, a poor gentleman that would desire of you, if it stand with your liking, the bounty of your purse. Armine sweetheart, I know not what you mean by that, but I am almost a beggar. What gold young Fro? this is brave. Dead, dead, she's dead, 'tis she hath undone me, Spent me all I had, and kept mine nose to brave me. Use her, theres never a gentlewoman in England could be better v ed then , I old but Coach her, her diet stood me pound a month, but she is dead and in her graven, my cares are buried. Thou dost belong to mai er Civet here, dost thou not? Why theres it, theres not a handful of plate But belongs to me, Gods my Judge: If I had but such a wench as thou art, Theres never a man in England would make more Of her, then I would do so she had any stock. They call within: Oh why Tanikin. By this hand, this Dutch wench is in love with me, Were it not admiral to make her steal All Civets Plate, and run away. What do I mean, why to live, that I mean. A coward, I pray in what? Snails is there such cowardice in that, I dare Borrow it of a man, I and of the tallest man In England, if he will lend it me, Let me borrow it how I can, and let them come by it how they dare. And it is well , rid out a hundred times If I would: so I might. I'll tarry here, till the Dutch Fro Comes, if all the devils in hell were here. Wherefore to prison? sir I will not go. Wherefore to prison? snick up, I owe you nothing. Go seek your daughter, what do you lay to my charge, Murder your dogs, I murder your daughter, Come Uncle, I know yowl bail me. I am indeed wife, wonder among wives! Thy chastity and virtue hath infused Another soul in me, read with defame, For in my blushing is seen my shame. Content thy self, I hope to win his favour, And to redeem my reputation lost, And Gentlemen believe me, I beseech you, I hope your eyes shall behold such change, As shall deceive your expectation. Thanks good sir , M. , You being my , and grown so kind, Binds me in all to restore. My father, Oh I shame to look on him. Pardon deer father the folly's that are passed. Heaven helping me, isle hate the course as hell. Good morrow good sir Lancelot, good morrow master Weathercock. By my troath gentlemen, I have be a reading over Neck Matchivill, I find him Good to be known, not to be followed: A pestilent humane fellow, I have made Certain anatations of him such as they be: And how is't sir Lancelot? would? how ? A mad world, men cannot live quiet in it. Uncle, be-god you have used me very hardly, By my troth, upon my wedding day. Yes, I mean to partly with her and you, but if I partly with one Angel, hang me at a post. I'll rather throw them at a cast at Dice, as I have done a thousand of their fellows. On goes he that knows no end of his journey, I have passed the bounds of shifting, I have no course now but to hang my self: I have lived since yesterday two a clock, of a Spice-cake I had at a burial and for drink, I God it at and Alehouse among , as Will bear out a man, if he have no money indeed. I mean out of their companies, they are men Of good carriage. Who comes here? The two Conycatchers, that won all my money of me. I'll try if thaylelend me any. What M. Richard how do you? How dost thou Rafe? By God gentleme the world Grows bore with m , will you do as much as lend Me and Angel you both, you know you Wone a hundred of me the other day. No Kester, I have troubled thee, and wrong thee more, What thou in love gives, I in love restore. Shame me no shames, come give me your purse, I'll bind you sister, least I fair the worse. A plague of the devil, the devil take the dice, The dice, and the devil, and his dam ne go together: Of all my hundred golden angels, I have not left me one denier: A poke of come a five, what shall I do? I can borrow no more of my credit: There's not any of my acquaintance, man, nor boy, But I have borrowed more or less off: I would I knew where to take a good purse, And go clear away, by this light isle venture for it, Gods lid my sister Delia, I'll rob her, by this hand. See Kester if you can find the house.