PETRUCHIO

Verona, for a while I take my leave, To see my friends in Padua; but of all My best beloved and approved friend Hortensio: and I trow this is his house: Here sirrah Grumio, knock I say, Villain I say, knock me here soundly. Villain I say, knock me at this gate, And rap me well, or I'll knock your knaves pate. Will it not be? Faith Sirrah, and you'll not knock I'll ring it, I'll try how you can Solemnizing, Fa, and sing it. Now knock when I bid you: sirrrah villain. Signior Hortensio come you to partly the fray? Contutti le core be trobatto, may I say. A senseless villain: good Hortensio, I bade the rascal knock upon your gate, And could not get him for my heart to do it. Such wind as scatters young men through the world, To seek their Fortune's farther then at home, Where small experience grows but in a few. Signior Hortensio, thus it stands with me, Antonio my father is deceased, And I have thrust my self into this maze, Happily to wive and thrive, as best I may: Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world. Hortensio, betwixt such friends as we, Few words sum fice: and therefore, if thou know One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife: As wealth is burden of my wooing dance) Be she as foul as was Florentius Love, As old as Sibell and as cursed and shrow As Socrates Zentippe, or a worse: She moves me not, or not removes at least Affections edge in me. Were she as rough As are the swelling Adriatic seas. I come to wive it wealthily in Padua: If wealthily, then happily in Padua. Hortensio peace: thou knowest not golds effect, Tell me her father's name, and it's enough: For I will board her, though she chide as loud As thunder, when the clouds in Autumn crack. I know her father, though I know not her, And he knew my deceased father well: I will not sleep Hortensio till I see her, And therefore let me be thus bold with you, To give you over at this first encounter, Unless you will accompany me thither. I know she is and irksome brawling scold: If that be all Master's, I hear no harm. Born in Ʋ erona, old Butonios son: My father dead, my fortune lives for me, And I do hope good days and long, to see. Will I live? Why came I hither, but to that intent? Think you, a little din can daunt mine cares? Have I not in my time herd Lyons roar? Have I not herd the sea, puffed up with winds, Rage Like and angry Boar, chafed with sweat? Have I not herd great Ordnance in the field? And heavens Artillery thunder in the Skies? Have I not in a pitched battle herd Loud larums, neighing steeds, and trumpets clangue? And do you tell me of a woman's tongue? That gives not half so great a blow to hear, As will a Chesse-nut in a Farmers fire. Tush, tush, fear boys with bugs. Not her that chides sir, at any hand I pray. Hortensio, to what end are all these words? Sir understand you this of me (insooth) The youngest daughter whom you Harken for, Her father keeps from all access of suitors And will not promise her to any man, Until the elder sister first be wed. The younger then is free, and not before. And you good sir: pray have you not a daughter called Ka terina, and virtuous. You wrong me signior Gremio, give me leave? I am a Gentleman of Ʋ erona sir, That hearing of her beauty, and her wit, Her affability and bashful modesty: Her wondrous qualities and mild behaviour, Am bold to show my self a forward guest Within your house, to make mine eye the witness Of that report, Which I so oft have herd, And for and entrance to my entertainment, I do present you with a man of mine Cunning in music, and the Mathematics, To instruct her fully in those sciences, Whereof I know she is not ignorant, Accept of him, or else you do me wrong, His name is Litio, born in Mantua. And yet I come not well. Were it better I should rush in thus: But where is Kate? where is is my lovely bride? How does my father? gentles me thinks you frown, And wherefore gaze this goodly company, As if they saw some wondrous monument, Some Commet, or unusual prodigy? Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear, Suffices I am come to keep my word, Though in some partly enforced to digress, Which at more leisure I will so excuse, As you shall well be satisfied withal. But where is Kate? I stay too long from her, The morning wears, it's time we were at Church. How fares my Kate, what sweating all amort? Eat it up all Hortensio, if thou love me: Much good do it unto thy gentle heart: Kate eat apace; and now my honey Love, Will we return unto thy Father's house, And revel it as bravely as the best, With silken coats and caps, and golden Rings, With ruffs and Cuffs, and Farthingales, and things: With Scarves, and fans, and double change of bravery, With Amber Bracelets, Beads, and all this knavery. What hast thou dined? The Tailor stays thy leisure, To deck thy body with his ruffing treasure, Come Tailor, let us see these ornaments Lay forth the Gown. What news with you sir? Come on a Gods name, once more towards our father's: Good Lord how bright and goodly shines the Moon. I say it is the Moon. Nay then you lie: it is the blessed Sun. Well, forward, forward thus the bowl should run, And not unluckily against the Bias: But soft: Company is coming here. Good morrow gentle Mistress, where away: Tell me sweet Kate, and tell me truly too, Hast thou beheld a fresher Gentlewoman: Such war of white and read within her cheeks: What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty, As those two eyes become that heavenly face? Fair lovely Maid, once more good day to thee: Sweet Kate embrace her for her beauty's sake. Why how now Kate, I hope thou art not mad, This is a man old, wrinkled, faded, withered, And not a Maiden, as thou sayest he is. Do good old grandsire, and with all make known Which way thou travelest if along with us, We shall be joyful of thy company What is his name? Happily met the happier for thy son: And now by Law, as well as reverent age, I may entitle thee my loving Father, The sister to my wife, this Gentlewoman, Thy Son by this hath married: wonder not, Nor be not grieved, she is of good esteem, Her dowry wealthy, and of worthy birth; Beside, so qualified, as may be seem The Spouse of any noble Gentlewoman: Let me embrace with old Vincentio, And wander we to see thy honest son, Who will of thy arrival be full joyous. Come go along and see the truth hereof, For our first merriment hath made thee jealous. Exeunt. Sir heres the door, this is Lucentios house, My Father's bears more towards the Marketplace, Thither must I and here I leave y u sir. Nay, I told you your son was beloved in Padua: do you hear sir, to leave frivolous circumstances, I pray you tell Sig nior Lucentio that his Father is come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him. Why how now Gentleman: why this is flat knavery to take upon you and other men name. First kiss me Kate, and we will. What are thou ashamed of me? Why then let's home again: Come Sirralet's away. Is not this well? come my sweet Kate. Better once then never, for never too late. Exeunt. Nothing but fit and fit, and eat and eat. Padua affords nothing but what is kind. You are very sensible, and yet you miss my sense: I mean Hortentio is afeard of you. Roundly replied. Conceives by me, how likes Hortensio that? Very well mended: kiss him for that good Widow. To her Kate. A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down. Spoke Like and Officer: would to thee Lad. Nay that you shall not since you have begun: Have at you for a better Jest or too. She hath prevented me, here signior Tranio, This bird you aimed at, though you hit her not, Therefore a health to all that shot and missed. A good swift simile, but something currish. A has a little galled me I confess: And as the Jest did glance away from me, It's ten to one it maimed you too out right. Well I say no: and therefore sir, assurance, Let's each one send unto his wife, And he whose wife is most obedient, To come at first when he does send for her, Shall win the wager which we will propose. Twenty crowns. I'll venture so much of my Hawk or Hound, But twenty times so much upon my Wife. A match it's done. How? she's busy and she cannot come: is that and answer? I hope better. Worse and worse she will not come: O vild, intolerable, not to be endured: Sirrah Grumio, go to your Mistress, Say I command her come to me. Exit. The fouler fortune mine, and there and end. Where is your sister, and Hortensios wife? Go fetch them hither, if they deny to come, Swinge me them fondly forth unto their husbands: Away I say, and bring them hither straight. Marry peace it bodes, and love, and quiet life, And awful rule, and right supremacy: And to be short, what not, that's sweet and happy. Nay, I will win my wager better yet, And show more sign of her obedience, Her new built virtue and obedience. See where she comes, and brings your froward Wives As prisoners to her womanly persuasion: Katerine, that Cap of yours becomes you not, Off with that babble, throw it under foot. Sirrah begun, or talk not I advise you. Sir, sir, the first's for me, let her go by I see you do not mean to partly with her, Or else you Like not of my company. Petruchio is my name Antonio's son A man well known throughout all Italy. O, pardon me signior Gremio, I would feign be doing. Signior Baptista, my business asks haste, And every day I cannot come to woo, You knew my father well, and in him me, Left solie heir to all his Lands and goods, Which I have bettered rather then decreast. Then tell me, If I get your daughters love, What dowry shall I have with her to wife. Why that is nothing: for I tell you father, I am as peremptory as she proud minded: And where two raging fires mere together, They do consume the thing that feeds their fury. Though little fire grows great with little wind, Yet extreme gusts will blow out fire and all: So I to her, and so she yields to me, For I am rough, and woo not Like a babe. I to the proof, as Mountains are for winds, That shakes not, though they blow perpetually Now by the world, it is a lusty Wench, I love her ten times more then ere I did, O how I long to have some chat with her. I pray you do. I'll attend her here, And woo her with some spirit when she comes, Say that she rail, why then I'll tell her plain, She sings as sweetly as a Nightinghale: Say that she frown, I'll say she looks as clear As Morning Roses newly washed with Due: Say she be mute, and will not speak a word, Then I'll commend her volubility, And say she uttereth piercing eloquence: If she do bid me pack, I'll give her thanks, As though she bid me stay by her a week: If she deny to wed, I'll crave the day When I shall ask the banes, and when be married. But here she comes, and now Petruchio speak. Good morrow Kate, for thats your name I hear. You lie in faith, for you are called plain Kate, And bony Kate, and sometime Kate the cursed: But Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate -hall, my super-daintie Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore Kate Take this of me, Kate of my consolation, Hearing thy mildness praised in every Town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, My self am moved to woo thee for my wife. Why, what's a moveable? Thou hast hit it: come fit on me. Women are made to bear, and so are you Alas good Kate, I will not burden thee, For knowing thee to be but young and light. Should be, should: buzz. O slow-winged Turtle shall a buzzard take thee? Come, come you wasp, y'saith you are too angry. My remedy is then to pluck it out. Who knows not where a Wasp does wear his sting? In his tail. Whose tongue. What with my tongue in your tail. Nay, come again, good Kate, I am a Gentleman, I swear I'll cuff you, if you strike again. A Herald Kate? O put me in thy books. A combelesse Cock, so Kate will be my Hen. Nay come Kate come: you must not look so sour. Why here's no crab, and therefore look not sour. Then show it me. What, you mean my face. Now by S. George I am too young for you. It's with cares. Nay hear you Kate. In sooth you escape not so. No, not a whit, I find you passing gentle: 'Twas told me you were rough, and coy, and sullen, And now I find report a very liar: For thou art pleasant, gamesome, passing courteous, But slow in speech: yet sweet as springtime flowers. Thou canst not frown, thou canst not look a sconce, Nor bite the lip, as angry wenches will, Nor hast thou pleasure to be cross in talk: But thou with mildness entertainest thy wooers, With gentle conference, soft, and affable. Why does the world report that Kate does limpe? O slanderous world: Kate Like the hazel twig Is straight, and slender, and as brown in hue As hazel nuts, and sweeter then the kernels: O let me see thee walk, thou dost not halt. Did ever Dian so become a Grove As Kate this chamber with her princely gate: O be thou Dian, and let her be Kate, And then let Kate be chased, and Dian sportful. It is extempore, from my mother wit. Am I not wise? Marry so I mean sweet Katherine in thy bed: And therefore setting all this chat aside, Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented That you shall be my wife; your dowry greed on, And will you, nill you, I will marry you. Now Kate, I am a husband for your turn, For by this light, whereby I see thy beauty, Thy beauty that does make me Like thee well, Thou must be married to no man but me, For I am he am born to tame you Kaue, And bring you from a wild Kate to a Kate Conformable as other household Kates: Here comes your father, never make denial, I must, and will have Katherine to my wife. How but well sir? how but well? It were impossible I should speed amiss. Father it's thus, your self and all the world That talked of her, have talked amiss of her: If she be cursed, it is for policy, For she's not froward, but modest as the Dove She is not hight but temperate as the morn, For patience, she will prove a second Grissell, And Roman Lucrece for her chastity: And to conclude, we have greed so well together, That upon Sunday is the wedding day, Be patient Gentlemen, I choose her for my self, If she and I be pleased, what's that to you? It's bargained betwixt us twain being alone, That she shall still be cursed in company. I tell you it's incredible to believe How much she loves me: o the kindest Kate, She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath, That in a twinke she wone me to her love. O you are novices, it's a world to see How came when men and women are alone, A meacock wretch can make the cursedest shrew: G we me thy hand Kate, I will unto Ʋ enice To buy apparel against the wedding day; Provide the feast father, and bid the guests, I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine. Father and wife, and Gentlemen adieu, I will to Venice, Sunday comes apace, We will have rings, and things and fine arrayr And kiss me Kate, we will be married a Sunday. Come where be these gallants? who's at home? Not, I believe me, thus I'll visit her. Good sooth even thus: therefore would done with words, To me she's married not unto my clothes: Could I repair what she will wear in me, As I can change these poor accoutrements, 'Twere well for Kate, and better for my self. But what a fool am I to chat with you, When I should bid good morrow to my Bride? And seal the title with a lovely kiss. Exit I must away to day before night come, Make it no wonder: If you knew my business, You would entreat me rather go then stay: And honest company, I thank you all, That have beheld me give away my self To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife, Dine with my father, drink a health to me, For I must hence, and farewell to you all. It may not be. It cannot be. I am content. I am content you shall entreat me stay, But yet not stay, entreat me how you can. Grumio, my horse, Oh Kate content thee prithee be not angry, They shall go forward Kate at thy command, Obey the Bride you that attend on her, Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead, Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves: But for my bonny Kate, she must with me: Nay, look not big, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret, I will be master of what is mine own, She is my good, my chattels, she is my house, My householdstuff, my field my bairn, My horse, my ox, my ass, my any thing, And here she stands, touch her who ever dare, I'll bring mine Actium on the proudest he That stops my way in Padua: Grumio Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves, Rescue thy mistress if thou be a man: Fear not sweet wench, they shall not touch thee Kate, I'll Buckler thee against a Million. Exeunt. P. Ka . Where be these knaves? what no man at door To hold my stirrup, nor to take my horse? Where is Nathaniell, Gregory, Philip. Here sir, here sir, here sir, here sir. You loggerheaded and vnp llisht grooms: What? no attendants? no regard? no duty? Where is the foolish knave I sent before? You pezant, swain, you horson malt-horse drudge Did I not bid thee meet me in the Park, And bring along these rascal knaves with thee? Go rascals, go, and fetch my supper in. Ex. Sir. Where is the life that late I led? Where are those? Fit down Kate, And welcome. Soud, soud, soud, soud. Why when I say? Nay good sweet Kate be merry. Off with my boots, you rogues: you villains, when? It was the Friar of Order grey, As he forth walked on his way. Out you rogue, you pluck my foot awry, Take that, and mend the plucking of the other Be merry Kate: Some water here: what hoa. Where's my Spaniel Troilus? Sirrah, get you hence, And bid my cozen Ferdinand come hither: One Kate that you must kiss, and be acquainted with. Where are my Slippers? shall I have some water? Come Kate and wash, and welcome heartily: You horson villain, will you let it fallen? A horson beetleheaded flap-ear'd knave: Come Kate fit down, I know you have a stomach, Will you give thanks, sweet Kate, or else shall I? What's this, Mutton? Who brought it? It's burned, and so is all the meat What dogs are these? Where is the rascal Cook? How durst you villains bring it from the dresser And serve it thus to me that love it not? There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all: You heedless iolt-heads and unmannered slaves. What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight. I tell thee Kate, 'twas burned and dried away, And I expressesly am forbid to touch it: For it engenders choler, plants anger, And better 'twere that both of us did fast, Since of our selves, our selves are choleric, Then feed it with such ouer-rosted flesh: Be patient, to morrow it shall be mended, And for this night we'll fast for company. Come I will bring thee to thy Bridal chamber. Exeunt Thus have I politicly begun my reign, And it's my hope to end successfully: My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty, And till she stoop, she must not be full gorged, For then she never looks upon her lure, Another way I have to man my Haggard, To make her come, and know her keepers call: That is, to watch her, as we watch these Kites, That bait, and beat, and will not be obedient: She eat no meat to day, nor none shall eat. Last night she slept not, nor to night she shall not: As with the meat, some undeserved fault I'll find about the making of the bed, And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster, This way the Coverlet, another way the sheets: I, and amid this hurly I intend, That all is done in reverend care of her, And in conclusion, she shall watch all night, And if she chance to nod, I'll rail and brawl, And with the clamour keep her still awake: This is a way to kill a Wife with kindness, And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour: He that knows better how to tame a shrew, Now let him speak, it's charity to show. Exit. Pluck up thy spirits, look cheerfully upon me. Here Love, thou seest how diligent I am, To dress thy meat my self, and bring it thee. I am sure sweet Kate this kindness merits thanks. What, not a word? Nay then thou lovest it not: And all my pains is S rted to no proof. Here take away this dish. The poorest service is repayed with thanks, And so shall mine before you touch the meat. Why this was moulded on a porringer, A Velvet dish: Fie, fie, it's lewd and filthy, Why it's a cockle or a walnut-shell, A knack, a toy, a trick, a babies cap: Away with it come let me have a bigger. When you are gentle, you shall have one too, And not till then. Why thou sayest true, it is a paltry cap. A custard coffen, a bauble, a silken pie, I love thee well in that thou likest it not. Thy gown why I: come Tailor let us see't. O mercy God, what masking stuff is here? Whats this? a sleeve? it's Like a demicannon, What, up and down carved Like and apple Tart? Heers snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash, Like to a Censor in a barbers shop: Why what a devils name a Tailor callest thou this? Marry and did: but if you be remembered, I did not bid you mar it to the time. Go hop me over every kennel home, For you shall hop without my custom sir: I'll none of it; hence, make your best of it. Why true, he means to make a puppet of thee. O monstrous arrogance: Then liest, thou thread, thou thimble, Thou yard three quarters, half yard, quarter, nail, Thou Flay, thou Nit, thou winter cricket thou: Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread: Away thou Rag, thou quantity, thou remnant, Or I shall so bemete thee with thy yard, As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou livest: I tell thee I, that thou hast marred her gown. Read it. Proceed. I there's the villainy. Well sir in brief the gown is not for me. Go take it up unto thy Master's use. Why sir what's your conceit in that? Hortensio, say thou wilt see the Tailor paid. Go take it hence, be gone, and say no more. Well come my Kate, we will unto your father's, Even in these honest mean habiliments: Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor: For it's the mind that makes the body rich. And as the Sun breaks through the darkest clouds, So honour peers in the meanest habit. What is the Jay more precious then the Lark? Because his feathers are more beautiful Or is the Adder better then the Eel, Because his painted Skin contents the eye. O no Kate: neither art thou the worse For this poor furniture, and mean array. If thou accountedest it shame, lay it on me, And therefore frolic, we will hence forthwith, To feast and sport us at thy father's house, Go call my men, and let us straight to him, And bring our horses unto Long-lane end, There will we mount, and thither walk on foot, Let's see, I think it's now some seven a clock, And well we may come there by dinner time. It shall be seven ere I go to horse: Look what I speak, or do, or think to do, You are still crossing it, sirs let it alone, I will not go to day, and ere I do, It shall be what a clock I say it is. Now by my mother's son, and that's my self, It shall be moon, or star, or what I list, Or ere I journey to your Father's house: Go on, and fetch our horses back again Ever more crossed and crossed nothing but crossed, Prithee, Kate let's stand aside and see the end of this controversy. Now for my life Hortensio fears his Widow. O ho entreat her, nay then she must needs come. What? Katherine I charge thee tell these headstrong women, what duty they do owe their Lords and husbands. Come on I say, and first begin with her, I say she shall, and first begin with her. Why ther's a wench: come on, and kiss me Kate. Come Kate, we'll to bed, We three are married, but you two are sped. 'Twas I wone the wager though you hit the white. And being a winner, God give you good night, Peace sirrah. And for that dowry, I'll assure her of Her widowhood, be it that she survive me In all my Lands and Leases whatsoever, Let specialties be therefore drawn between us, That covenants may be kept on either hand. Gentlemen and friends I thank you for your pains, I know you think to dine with me to day, And have pr pared great store of wedding cheer, But so it is, my haste does call me hence, And therefore here I mean to take my leave. I say it is the Moon that shines so bright.