LORD

Huntsman I charge thee, tender well my hounds, Brach Meriman, the poor Cur is embossed. And couple Clowder with the deep mouthed brach, Sawest thou not boy how Silver made it good. At the hedge corner, in the coldest fault, I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. Thou art a fool, if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such: But sup them well, and look unto them all. To morrow I intend to hunt again. What's here. One dead, or drunk? See does he breath? O mounstrous beast how Like a swine he lies. Gr me death how foul and loathsome is thine image: S, I will practice on this drunken man. What think you, if he were conveyed to bed, Wrapped in sweet clothes: Rings put upon his fingers: A most delicious banquet by his bed, And brave attendants near him when he wakes, Would not the beggar then forget himself? Even as a flattering dream, or worthless fancy. Then take him up, and manage well the jest: Carry him gently to my fairest Chamber, And hang it round with all my wanton pictures. Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters, And burn sweet Wood to make the lodging sweet: Procure me music ready when he wakes, To make a dulcet and a heavenly found: And if he chance to speak be ready straight (And with allow submissive reverence) Say what is it your honour will command: Let one attend him with a silver Basin Full of rosewater, And bestrewed with flowers, Another bear the Ewer: the third a Diaper, And say wilt please your Lordship cool your hands. Some one be ready with a costly sui e, And ask him what apparel he will wear: Another tell him of his Hounds and Horse, And that his Lady mourns at his disease, Persuade him that he hath been Lunatic, And when he says he is, say that he dreams, For he is nothing but a mighty Lord: This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs, It will be pastime passing excellent, If it be husbanded with modesty. Take him up gently, and to bed with him, And each one to his office when he wakes. Sirrah, go see what Trumpet it's that sounds, Belike some Noble Gentleman that means (Travelling some journey) to repose him here. How now? who is it? Bid them come near; Now fellows, you are welcome. Do you intend to stay with me to night? With all my heart. This fellow I remember, Since once he played a Farmers eldest son, It where you wooed the Gentlewoman so well: I have forgotten your name: but sure that partly Was aptly fitted, and naturally performed, It's very true, thou didst it excellent: Well you are come to me in happy time, The rather for I have some sport in hand, Wherein your cunning can assist me much. There is a Lord will hear you play to night; But I am doubtful of your modesties, Least (ouer-eying of his odd behaviour, For yet his honour never herd a play) You break into some merry passion, And so offend him: for I tell you sirs, If you should smile, he grows impatient. Go sirrah, Take them to the Buttery, And give them friendly welcome every one, Let them want nothing that my house affords. Sirrah go you to Bartholmew my page, And see him dressed in all suits Like a Lady: That done, conduct him to the drunkards chamber, And call him Madam, do him obeisance: Tell him from me (as he will win my love) He bore himself with honourable Actium, Such as he hath observed in noble Ladies Unto their Lords, by them accomplished, Such duty to the drunkard let him do: With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy, And say: What is it your Honour does command, Wherein your Lady, and your humble wife, May show her duty, and make known her love. And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses, And with declining head into his bosom Bid him shed tears, as being overjoyed To see her noble Lord restored to health, Who for this seven years hath esteemed him No better then a poor and loathsome beggar: And if the boy have not a woman's gift To rain a shower of commanded tears, And Onion will do well for such a shift, Which in a Napkin (being close-conuei'd) Shall in despite enforce a watery eye: See this dispatched with all the hast thou canst, Anon I'll give thee more instructions. I know the boy will well usurp the grace, Voice, gate, and Actium of a Gentlewoman: I long to hear him call the drunkard husband, And how my men will stay themselves from laughter, When they do homage to this simple peasant, I'll in to counsel them: haply my presence May well abate the over-merry spleen, Which otherwise would grow into extremes. Heaven cease this idle humour in your Honour. O that a mighty man of such dissent, Of such possessions, and so high esteem Should be infused with so foul a spirit. Hence comes it, that your kindred shuns your house As beaten hence by your strange Lunacy. O Noble Lord, bethink thee of thy birth, Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence these abject lowly dreams: Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck. Wilt thou have music? Hark Apollo plays, Music And twenty caged Nightingales do sing, Or wilt thou sleep? We'll have thee to a Couch, Softer and sweeter then the lustful bed On purpose trimmed up for Semiramis. Say thou wilt walk: we will bestrew the ground. Or wilt thou ride? thy horses shall be traped, Their harness studded all with Gold and Pearl. Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar Above the Morning Lark. Or wilt thou hunt, Thy bounds shall make the Welkin answer them And fetch shrill echos from the hollow earth. We'll show thee Io, as she was a Maid, And how she was beguiled and surprised, As lively painted, as the deed was done. Thou art a Lord and nothing but a Lord: Thou hast a Lady far more Beautiful, Then any woman in this waining age. Madam. Madam, and nothing else, so Lords call Ladies