GRUMIO

Knock sir? whom should I knock? Is there any man ha rebsu'd your worship? Knock you here sir? Why sir, what am I sir, that I should knock you here sir. My M r is grown quarrelsome: I should knock you first, And then I know after who comes by the worst. Help mistress help, my master is mad. Nay it's no matter sir, what he leges in Latin. If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his seuice, look you sir: He bid me knock him, and & rap him soundly sir, Well, was it fit for a servant to use his master so, being perhaps (for ought I see) two and thirty, a peep out? Whom would to God I had well knocked at first then had not Grumio come by the worst. Knock at the gate? O heavens: spoke you not these words plain? Sirrah, Knock me here: rap me here: knock me well, and knock me soundly? And come you now with knock king at the gate? I pray you Sir let him go while the humour lasts. A my word, and she knew him as well as I do, she would think scolding would do little good upon him. She may perhaps call him half a score Knaves, or so: Why that's nothing; and he begins once, he'll rail in his rope tricks, I'll tell you what sir, and she stand him but a little, he will throw a figure in her face, and so disfigure his with it, that she shall have no more eyes to see withal then a Cat: you know him not sir. Katherine the cursed, A title for a maid, of all titles the worst. Here's no knavery. See, to beguile the old folks, how the young folks lay their heads together. Master, master, look about you: Who goes there? O this Woodcock, what and Ass it is. And that h S bags shall prove. Will he woo her? I: or I'll hang her. For he fears none. I would I were as sure of a good dinner. I sir they be ready, the Oats have eaten the horses. Fie fie on all tired Jades, on all mad Master's, and all foul ways: was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are come ming after to warm them: now were not I a little pot, and soon hight; my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me, but I with blowing the fire shall warm my self: for considering the weather, a taller man then I will take cold: Holla, hoa Curtis. A piece of Ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayest slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis. O I Burtis I, and therefore fire, fire, cast on no water. She was good Curtis before this frost: but thou knowest winter tames man, woman, and beast: for it hath tamed my old master, and my new mistress, and my self fellow Curtis. Am I but three inches? Why thy horn is a foot and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire or shall I come plain on thee to our mistress, whose hand (she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hight office. A cold world Curtis in every office but thine, and there before fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty, for my Master and mistress are almost frozen to death. Why Jack boy, ho boy, and as much news as thou wilt. Why therefore fire, for I have caught extreme cold. Where's the Cook, is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept, the servingmen in their new fustion, the white stockings, and every officer his wedding garment on? Be the Jacks fair with hin, he Gills fair without, the Can pets laid, and every thing in order? First know my horse is tired, my master and mistress fallen out. Out of their saddles into the dirt, and thereby hangs a tale. Lend thine ear. There. And therefore it's called a sensible tale: and this Cufte was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening: now I begin Inprimis we came down a foul hill, my Master riding behind my Mistress. What's that to thee? Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have herd how her horse fell, and she under her horse: thou shouldst have herd in how miery a place, how she was be moiled, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me: how he swore, how she prayed, that never prayed before: how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst: how I lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou re turn unexperienced to the graven. I, and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nam thaniell, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugersop and the rest: let their heads be slickely combed, their blue coats brushed, and their garters of and indifferent knit, let them curtsy with their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my Master's horsetail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready? Call them forth. Why she hath a face of her own. Thou it seems, that calls for company to countenance her. Why she comes to borrow nothing of them. Welcome you: how now you: what you: fellow you: and thus much for greeting. Now my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat? Here sir, as foolish as I was before. No, no forsooth I dare not for my life. What say you to a Neats foot? I fear it is too choleric a meat, How say you to a fat Tripe finely broiled? I cannot tell, I fear it's choleric. What say you to a piece of Beef and Mustard? I but the Mustard is too hight a little. Nay then I will not, you shall have the Mustard Or else you get no Beef of Grumio. Why then the Mustard without the beef. I gave him no order, I gave him the stuff. Marry sir with needle and thread. Thou hast faced many things. Face not me: thou hast braved many men, brave not me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee, I bid thy Master cut out the gown, but I did not bid him cut it to pieces; Ergo thou liest. The note lies in's throat if he say I said so. Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sow me in the Skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread: I said a gown. I confess the cape. I confess two sleeves. Error i'th bill sir, error i'th bill? I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sowed up again, and that I'll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble. I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, give me thy meate-yard, and spare not me. You are i'th right sir, it's for my mistress. Villain, not for thy life: Take up my Mistress gown for thy Master's use. Nay look you sir, he tells you flatly what his mind is: Why give him gold enough, and marry him to a Puppet or and Aglet baby, or and old trot with never a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two and fifty horses. Why nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal. A proper stripling, and and amorous. Nathaniels coat sir was not fully made, And Gabriels pumps, were all vnpinkt i'th heel: There was no Link to colour Peters hat, And Walters dagger was not come from sheathing: There were none fine, but Adam, Rafe, and Gregory, The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly, Yet as they are, here are they come to meet you. Where is he?