GREMIO

To cart her rather. She's to rough for me, There, there Hortensio, will you any Wife? And me too, good Lord. Why will you mew her up (Signior Baptista ) for this fiend of hell, And make her bear the penance of her tongue. You may go to the devils dam: your gifts are so good here's none will hold you: There love is not so great Horten sio, but we may blow our nails together, and fast it fairly out. Our cakes dough on both sides. Farewell: yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father. What's that I pray? A husband: a devil. I say, a devil: Thinkest thou Horensio, though her father be very rich, any man is so very a fool to be married to hell? I cannot tell: but I had as lief take her dowry with this condition; To be whipped at the high cross every morning. O this learning, what a thing it is, And you are well met, Signior Hortensio. Trow you whither I am going? To Baptista Minola, I promised to inquire carefully About a schoolmaster for the fair Bianca, And by good fortune I have lighted well On this young man: For learning and behaviour Fit for her turn, well read in Poetry And other books, good ones, I warrant ye. Beloved of me, and that my deeds shall prove. So said, so done, is well: Hortensio, have you told him all her faults? No, sa st me so, friend? what Countryman? O sir, such a life with such a wife, were strange: But if you have stomach, too't a Gods name, You shall have me assisting you in all. But will you woo this wildcat? Hark you sir, you mean not her to— But so is not she. For this reason if you'll know. That she's the choice love of Signior Gremio. What, this Gentleman will out-talke us all. Yea leave that labour to great Hercules, And let it be more then Alcides twelve. Good morrow neighbour Baptista. You are to blunt, go to it orderly. Saving your tale Petruchio, I pray let us that are poor petitioners speak too? Bacare, you are marvelous forward. I doubt it not sir. But you will curse Your wooing neighbours: this is a gift Very grateful, I am sure of it, to express The Like kindness my self, that have been More kindly beholding to you then any Freely give unto this young scholar, that hath Been long studying at Rheims, as cunning In Greek, Latin, and other Languages, As the other in music and Mathematics: His name is Cambio: pray you accept his service. Hark Petruchio, she says shee'll see thee hanged first Was ever match clapped up so suddenly? No doubt but he hath God a quiet catch, But now Baptista, to your younger daughter, Now is the day we long have looked for, I am your neighbour, and was suitor first. Youngling thou canst not love so deer as I. But thine does fry, Skipper stand back, it's age that nourishes. First, as you know, my house within the City Is richly furnished with plate and gold, Basons and ewers to laue her dainty hands: My hangings all of tirian tapestry: In Ivory coffers I have stuffed my Crowns: In Cipres chests my arras counterpoints, Costly apparel, tents, and Canopies, Fine linen, Turkey cushions boast with pearl, Vallens of Venice gold, in needle work: Pewter and brass, and all things that belongs To house or housekeeping: then at my farm I have a hundred milk-cows to the pale, Sixscore fat Oxen standing in my stalls, And all things answerable to this portion. My self am struck in years I must confess, And if I die to morrow this is hers If whilst I live she will be only mine. Two thousand Ducats by the year of land, My Land amounts not to so much in all: That she shall have, beside and Argosy That now is lying in Marcellus road: What, have I choked you with and Argosy Nay, I have offered all, I have no more, And she can have no more then all I have, If you Like me she shall have me and mine. And may not young men die as well as old? Adieu good neighbour: now I fear thee not: Sirrah, young gamester, your father were a fool To give thee all, and in his waining age Set foot under thy table: tut, a toy, And old Italian fox is not so kind my boy. Exit. As willingly as ere I came from school. A Bridegroom say you? it's a groom indeed, A grumling groom, and that the girl shall find. Tut, she's a Lamb, a Dove, a fool to him: I'll tell you sir Lucentio; when the Priest Should ask if Katherine should be his wife I, by goggs woones quoth he, and swore so loud, That allamaz'd, the Priest let fallen the book, And as he stooped again to take it up, This madbrained Bridegroom took him such a cuff, That down fell Priest and book, and book and Priest, Now take them up quoth he if any list. Trembled and shook for why he stamped and swore, as if the Vicar meant to cozen him: but after many ceremonies done, he calls for wine, a health quoth he as if he had been aboard carow sing to his mates after a storm, quaffed off the Muscadel, and threw the sops all in the Sextons face: having no other reason but that his beard grew thin and hungerly: and seemed to ask him sops as he was drinking This done, he took the Bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack, that at the parting all the Church did echo: and I seeing this, came thence for very shame and after me I know the rout is coming, such a mad marriage never was before: hark hark I hear the minstrels, play. I marry sir, now it begins to work. Went they not quickly, I should die with laughing. I warrant him Petruchio is Kated. E'ne at hand, alighted by this: and therefore be not— Cocks passion, silence, I here my master. O sir, the conceit is deeper then you think for: Take up my Mistress gown to his Master's use. O fie, fie, fie. I marvel Cambio comes not all this while. Stay officer, he shall not go to prison. Take heed signior Baptista, lest you be conicatcht in this business: I dare swear this is the right Ʋ incentio. Nay, I dare not swear it. Yes I know thee to be signior Lucentio. Here's packing with a witness to deceive us all. Believe me sir, they But together well. I, and a kind one too: Pray God sir your wife send you not a worse. I am agreed, and would I had given him the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing that would thoroughly woe her, wed her, and bed her, and rid the house of her. Come on. They're busy within, you were best knock louder. O very well, I have perused the note: Hark you sir, I'll have them very fairly bound, All books of Love, see that at any hand, And see you read no other Lectures to her: You understand me. Over and beside Signior Baptistas liberality, I'll mend it with a Largess. Take your paper too, And let me have them very well perfumed; For she is sweeter then Perfume it self To whom they go to: what will you read to her. And so we will, provided that he win her. No: If without more words you will get you hence. Hortensio hark: This Gentleman is happily arrived, My mind presumest for his own good, and yours. Why he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend. My cake is dough, but I'll in among the rest, Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast. Let me entreat you.