BORACHIO

I came yonder from a great supper, the prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can give you intelligence of and intended marriage. Marry it is your bothers right hand. Even he. Marry one Hero the daughter and heir of Leonato. Weel wait upon your lordship. Not honestly my lord, but so covertly, that no disho nesty shall appear in me. I think I told your lordship a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero. I can at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her ladies chamber window. The poison of that lies in you to temper, go you to the prince your brother, spare not to tell him, that he hath wronged his honour in marrying the renowned Claudio, whose estimation do you mightily hold up, to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero. Proof enough, to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato, look you for any other issue? Go then, find me a meet hour, to draw done Pedro and the Count Claudio alone, tell them that you know that Hero loves me, intend a kind of zeal both to the prince & Claudio (as in love of your brother's honour who hath made this match) and his friends reputation, who is thus Like to be cozened with the semblance of a maid, that you have discover worser thus: they will scarcely believe this without trial: offer them instances which shall bear no less likelihood, than to see me at her chamber window, hear me call Margaret Hero, hear Marg term me Claudio, & bring them to see this the very night before the in tended wedding, for in the mean time, I will so fashion the mat ter, that Hero shall be absent and there shall appear such seem king truth of Heroes disloyalty, that jealousy shall be called assum rance and all the preparation overthrown. Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me. What Conrade? Conrade I say. Mass and my elbow itched, I thought there would a scab follow. Stand thee close then under this penthouse, for it drissells rain, and I will, Like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thou sand ducats. Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any vil lanie should be so rich? for when rich villains have needs of poor ones poor ones may make what price they will. That shows thou art unconfirmed, thou knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man. I mean the fashion. Tush, I may as well say the fool's the fool, but seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is? Didst thou not hear some body? Seest thou not (I say what a deformed thief this fashi on is, how giddily a turns about all the Hot-blouds, between fourteen and five and thirty, sometime fashioning them Like Phataoes soldiers in the rechie painting, sometime Like God Bells priests in the old church window, sometime Like the shaven Hercules in the smirched wormeaten tapestry, where his cod piece seems as massy as his club. Not so neither, but know that I have to night wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentlewoman, by the name of Hero, she leans me out at her mistress chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night: I tell this tale vildly I should first tell thee how the prince Claudio and my master planted and placed, and possessed, by my master Done John, saw a far off in the orchard this amiable encounter. We are Like to prove a goodly commodity, being ta ken up of these men's bills. Borachio. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer: do you hear me, and let this Count kill me: I have deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to light, who in the night oh erheard me confessing to this man, how Done John your bro her incensed me to slander the Lady Hero, how you were brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in He roes garments, how you disgraced his when you should marry his: my villainy they have upon record, which I had rather seal with my death, then repeat over to my shame: the lady is dead upon mine and my Master's false accusation: and briefly, I de sire nothing but the reward of a villain. Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it. If you would know your wronger, look on me. Yea, even I alone. No by my soul she was not, Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me, But always hath been joust and virtuous, In any thing that I do know by her. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand in sad conference: I whipped me behind the arras, and there herd it agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Clau dio. And that is Claudio, I know him by his bear king. Master Constable. So did I too, and he swore he would marry her to night. Yea my lord, but I can cross it. Two of them did, the prince and Claudio, but the di vel my master knew she was Margaret, and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night which did deceive them, but chiefly, by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Done John had made, away went Claudio en ragde, swore he would meet her as he was appointed next mor ning at the Temple, and there, before the whole congregation shame her, with what he saw oh re night, and send her home a gain without a husband.