ELBOW

Come, bring them away: if these be good peo ple in a Commonweal, that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law: bring them away. If it please your honour, I am the poor Dukes Constable, and my name is Elbow ; I do lean upon Ju stice Sir, and do bring in here before your good honour, two notorious Benefactors. If it please your honour, I know not well what they are: But precise villains they are, that I am sure of and void of all profanation in the world, that good Christians ought to have. He Sir: a Tapster Sir: parcel Baud: one that serves a bade woman: whose house Sir was (as they say) plucked down in the Suborbs: and now she professes a hothouse; which, I think is a very ill house too. My wife Sir? whom I detest before heaven, and your honour. I Sir: whom I thank heaven is and honest woe man. I say sir, I will detest my self also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a Bawds house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house. Marry sir, by my wife, who, if she had been a woe man Cardinally given, might have been accused in forni cation, adultery, and all uncleanliness there. I sir, by Mistress Ouer-dons means: but as she spit in his face, so she defied him. Prove it before these varlets here, thou honora ble man, prove it. I beseech you Sir, ask him what this man did to my wife. First, and it Like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his Mistress is a respected woman. Varlet, thou liest; thou liest wicked varlet: the time is yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child. Oh thou caitiff: Oh thou varlet: Oh thou wick ed Hannibal ; I respected with her, before I was married to her? If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor Dukes Offi cer: prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or isle have mine Actium of battery on thee. Marry I thank your good worship for it: what is't your Worships pleasure I shall do with this wick ed Caitiff? Marry I thank your worship for it: Thou seest thou wicked varlet now, what's come upon thee. Thou art to continue now thou Varlet, thou art to continue. Seven year, and a half sir. And a half sir. In-faith sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go through with all. To your Worships house sir? Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will needs buy and fell men and women Like beasts, we shall have all the world drink brown & white bastard. Come your way sir: bless you good Father Friar. Marry Sir, he hath offended the Law; and Sir, we take him to be a Thief too Sir: for we have found upon him Sir, a strange Picklock, which we have sent to the Deputy. He must before the Deputy Sir, he ha given him warning: the Deputy cannot abide a Whore-ma ster: if he be a Whoremonger, and comes before him, he were as good go a mile on his errand. His neck will come to your wast, a Cord sir. For being a baud; for being a baud. Come your ways sir, come. Come your ways sir, come.