SLENDER

In the County of Gloucester, Justice of Peace and Coram. I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman born (Master Parson) who writes himself Armigero, in any Bill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero. All his successors (gone before him) hath don't: and all his Ancestors (that come after him) may: they may give the dozen white Luces in their Coat. I may quarter (Coz). Mistress Anne Page? she has brown hair, and speaks small Like a woman. Did her Grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? I know the young Gentlewoman, she has good gifts. How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I herd say he was outrun on Cotsall. You'll not confess: you'll not confess. Marry sir, I have matter in my head against you, and against your conycatching Rascals, Bardolf, Nym, and Pistol. I, it is no matter. I, it is no matter. Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Cousin? I, by these gloves did he, or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward Sho uelboords, that cost me two shilling and two pence a piece of Yede Miller : by these gloves. By these gloves, then 'twas he. By this hat, then he in the read face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether and ass. I, you spoke in Latten then to: but it's no mat ter; I'll never be drunk while I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. O heaven: This is Mistress Anne Page. I had rather then forty shillings I had my book of Songs and Sonnets here: How now Simple, where have you been? I must wait on my self, must I? you have not the book of Riddles about you, have you? I Sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. So I do Sir. Nay, I will do as my Cozen Shallow says: I pray you pardon me, he's a Justice of Peace in his Con try, simple though I stand here. Why if it be so; I will marry her upon any rea sonable demands. I hope sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason. I will do a greater thing then that, upon your request (Cousin) in any reason. I will marry her (Sir) at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet Heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one anon there: I hope upon familiarity will grow more content: but if you say mary-her, I will mary-her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. 'Giue you good-morrow, sir. Ah sweet Anne Page. Oh sweet Anne Page. Oh sweet Anne Page. And so must I Sir, We have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, And I would not break with her for more money Then I'll speak of. I hope I have your good will Father Page. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't, slid, 'tis but ventum ring. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard. I had a father (M. And) my uncle can tell you good jests of him: pray you Uncle tell Missed. Anne the jest how my Father stole two Geese out of a Pen, good Uncle. I that I do, as well as I love any woman in Glow cestershire. I that I will, come cut and longtail, under the degree of a Squire. Now good Mistress Anne. My will? Odd's-hart-lings, that's a pretty jest indeed: I never made my Will yet (I thank Hea ven:) I am not such a sickly creature, I give Heaven praise. Truly, for mine own partly, I would little or nothing with you: your father and my uncle hath made motion,: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole, they can tell you how things go, better then I can: you may ask your father, here he comes. I forsooth, I have spoke with her, & we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry Mum; she cries Budget, and by that we know one another. Whoa hoe, hoe, Father Page. Dispatched? I'll make the best in Gloftershire know on't: would I were hanged la, else. I came yonder at Eaton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not be in that Church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir, and it's a Postmasters Boy. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a Boy for a Girl: If I had be married to him, (for all he was in woman's apparel) I would not have had him. I went to her in green, and cried Mum, and she cried budget, as Anne and I had appointed, and yet it was not Anne, but a Postmasters boy. I, or else I would I might be hanged (la.) No, I thank you forsooth, heartily; I am very well. I am not hungry, I thank you, forsooth: go, Sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my Cousin Shallow: a Justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend, for a Man; I keep but three Men, and a Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet I live Like a poor Gentleman born. In faith, isle eat nothing: I thank you as much as though I did. I had rather walk here (I thank you) I bruised my shin the other day, with playing at Sword and Dag her with a Master of Fence (three veneys for a dish of stewed Prunes) and by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hight meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there Bears ith' Town? I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England : you are afraid if you see the Bear lose, are you not? That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson lose, twenty times, and have taken him by the Chain: but (I warrant you) the women have so cried and shrekt at it, that it passed: But women indeed, cannot abide'em, they are very ill-favoured rough things. I'll eat nothing, I thank you Sir. Nay, pray you led the way. Mistress Anne : your self shall go first. Truly I will not go first: truely-la: I will not do you that wrong. I'll rather be unmannerly, then troublesome: you do your self wrong indeede-la.