IACHIMO

Believe it Sir, I have seen him in Britain; he was then of a Cressent note, expected to prove so woor thy, as since he hath been allowed the name of. But I could then have looked on him, without the help of And miration, though the Catalogue of his endowments had been rabbled by his side, and I to peruse him by Items. This matter of marrying his Kings Daughter, wherein he must be weighed rather by her value, then his own, words him (I doubt not) a great deal from the matter. I, and the approbation of those that weep this lamentable divorce under her colours, are wonderfully to extend him, be it but to fortify her judgement, which else and easy battery might lay flat, for taking a Beggar without less quality. But how comes it, he is to sojourn with you? How creeps acquaintance? Can we with manners, ask what was the dif ference? That Lady is not now living; or this Gentle men opinion by this, worn out. You must not so far prefer her, before ours of Italy. As fair, and as good: a kind of hand in hand comparison, had been something too fair, and too good for any Lady in Britanny; if she went before others. I have seen as that Diamond of yours out-lusters many I have beheld, I could not believe she excelled many: but I have not seen the most precious Diamond that is, nor you the Lady. What do you esteem it at? Either your unparagoned Mistirs is dead, or she's out-priz'd by a trifle. Which the Gods have given you? You may wear her in title yours: but you know strange Foul light upon neighbouring Ponds. Your Ring may be stolen too, so your brace of vnprizea ble Estimations, the one is but frail, and the other Casum all;. A cunning Thief, or a (that way) accomplished Courtier, would hazard the winning both of first and last. With five times so much conversation, I should get ground of your fair Mistress; make her go back, e ven to the yielding, had I admittance, and opportunity to friend. I dare thereupon pawn the moiety of my E state, to your Ring, which in my opinion o're-values it something: but I make my wager rather against your Confidence, then her Reputation. And to bar your of fence herein to, I durst attempt it against any Lady in the world. What's that? Would I had put my Estate, and my Neighbours on the approbation of what I have spoke, Yours, whom in constancy you think stands so safe. I will lay you ten thousands Ducats to your Ring, that commend me to the Court where your La die is, with no more advantage then the opportunity of a second conference, and I will bring from thence, that Honour of hers, which you imagine so reserved. You are a Friend, and there in the wiser: if you buy Ladies flesh at a Million a Dram, you cannot pre sever it from tainting; but I see you have some Religion in you, that you fear. I am the Master of my speeches, and would un der-go what's spoken, I swear. By the Gods it is one: if I bring you no suffi cient testimony that I have enjoyed the dearest bodily partly of your Mistress: my ten thousand Ducats are yours, so is your Diamond too: if I come off, and leave her in such honour as you have trust in; She your Jewel, this your Jewel, and my Gold are yours: provided. I have your commendation, for my more free entertainment. Your hand, a Covenant: we will have these things set down be lawful counsel, and straight away for Britain, least the Bargain should catch cold, and starve: I will fetch my Gold, and have our two Wagers recorded. Change you, Madam: The Worthy Leonatus is in safety, And greets your Highness dearly. All of her, that is out of door, most rich: If she be furnished with a mind so rare She is alone the Arabian-Bird; and I Have lost the wager. Boldness be my Friend: Arm me Audacity from head to foot, Orlike the Parthian I shall flying fight, Rather directly fly. Imogen reads. He is one of the Noblest note, to whose kindnesses I am most in finitely tied. Reflect upon him accordingly, as you valve your trust. Leonatus. He is one of the Noblest note, to whose kindnesses I am most in finitely tied. Reflect upon him accordingly, as you valve your trust. So far I read aloud. But even the very middle of my heart Is warmed by' the rest, and take it thankfully. You are as welcome (worthy Sir) as I Have words to bid you, and shall find it so In all that I can do. Thanks fairest Lady: What are men mad? Hath Nature given them eyes To see this vaulted Arch, and the rich Crop Of Sea and Land, which can distinguish betwixt The firy Orbs above, and the twinned Stones Upon the numbered Beach, and can we not Partition make with Spectales so precious Betwixt fair, and foul? It cannot be in the eye: for Apes, and Monkeys betwixt two such She's, would chatter this way, and Contemn with mows the other. Nor in the judgement: For Idiots in this case of favour, would Be wisely definite: Nor in the Appetite. Sluttery to such near Excellence, opposed Should make desire vomit emptiness, Not so allur worser to feed. The Cloyed will: That satiate yet unsatisfied desire, that Tub Both filled and running: Ravening first the Lamb, Longs after for the Garbage. Thanks Madam well: Beseech you Sir, Desire my Man's abided, where I did leave him: He's strange and peevish. Well, Madam. Exceeding pleasant: none a stranger there, So merry, and so gamesome: he is called The Britain Reveller. I never saw him sad. There is a Frenchman his Companion, one And eminent Monsieur, that it seems much loves A Gallian-Girle at home. He furnaces The thick sighs from him; while the jolly Britain, (Your Lord I mean) laughs from's free lungs: cries o, Can my sides hold, to think that man who knows By History, Report, or his own proof What woman is, yea what she cannot choose But must be: will's free hours languish: For assured bon age? I Madam, with his eyes in flood with laughter, It is a Recreation to be by And hear him mock the Frenchman: But Heaven's know some men are much too blame. Not he: But yet Heaven's bounty towards him, might Be used more thankfully. In himself it's much; In you which I account his beyond all Talents. Whilst I am bound to wonder, I am bound To pity too. Two Creatures heartily. Lamentable: what To hide me from the radiant Sun, and solace In the Dungeon by a Snuff. That others do, (I was about to say) enjoy your—but It is and office of the Gods to venge it, Not mine to speak on't. And himself, not I Inclined to this intelligence, pronounce The Beggary of his change: but it's your Graces That from my mutest Conscience, to my tongue, Charms this report out. Oh dearest Soul: your Cause does strike my heart With pity, that does make me sick. A Lady So fair, and fastened to and Empery Would make the greatest King double, to be partner'd With Tomboys hired, with that self exhibition Which your own Coffers yield: with diseased ventures That play with all Infirmities for Gold, Which rottenness can lend Nature. Such boiled stuff As well might poison Poison. Be revenged, Or she that boar you, was no Queen, and you Recoil from your great Stock. Should he make me Live Like Diana is Priest, betwixt cold sheets, While he is vaulting variable Ramps In your despite, upon your purse: revenge it. I dedicate my self to your sweet pleasure, More Noble then that runagate to your bed, And will continue fast to your Affection, Still close, as sure. Let me my service tender on your lips. Oh happy Leonatus I may say The credit that thy Lady hath of thee Deserves thy trust, and thy most perfect goodness Her assured credit. Blessed live you long, A Lady to the worthiest Sir, that ever Country called his; and you his Mistress, only For the most worthiest fit. Give me your pardon, I have spoke this to know if your Affiance Were deeply rooted, and shall make your Lord, That which he is, new over: And he is one The truest mannered: such a holy Witch, That he enchants Societies into him: Half all men hearts are his. He sits amongst men, Like a defended God; He hath a kind of Honour sets him off, More then a mortal seeming. Be not angry (Most mighty Princess) that I have adventured To try your taking of a false report, which hath Honoured with confirmation your great Judgement, In the election of a Sir, so rare, Which you know, cannot err. The love I bear him, Made me to fan you thus, but the Gods made you (Unlike all others) chaffelesse. Pray your pardon. My humble thanks: I had almost forgotten to entreat your Grace, but in a small request, And yet of moment too, for it concerns: Your Lord, my self, and other Noble Friends Are partners in the business. Some dozen Romans of us, and your Lord (The best Feather of our wing) have mingled sums To buy a Present for the Emperor Which I (the Factor for the rest) have done In France: it's Plate of rare device, and Jewels Of rich, and exquisite form, their valves great, And I am something curious, being strange To have them in safe stowage: May it please you To take them in protection. They are in a Trunk Attended by my men: I will make bold To send them to you, only for this night: I must aboard to morrow. Yes I beseech: or I shall short my word By lengthening my return. From Gallia, I crossed the Seas on purpose, and on promise To see your Grace. Oh I must Madam. Therefore I shall beseech you, if you please To greet your Lord with writing, doo't to night, I have outstood my time, which is material To the tender of our Present. The Crickets sing, and men ore-labor'd sense Repairs it self by rest: Our Tarquin thus Did softly press the Rushes, ere he wakened The Chastity he wounded. Cytherea, How bravely thou becomest thy Bed; fresh Lily, And whiter then the Sheets: that I might touch, But kiss, one kiss. Rubies unparagoned, How dearly they doo't: It's her breathing that Perfumes the Chamber thus: the Flame of the Taper Bows towards her, and would vnder-peepe her lids. To see the enclosed Lights, now Canopied Under these windows, White and Azure laced With Blue of Heavens own tinct. But my design? To note the Chamber, I will write all down, Such, and such pictures: There the window, such the adronement of her Bed; the Arras, Figures, Why such, and such: and the Contents of the Story. Ah, but some natural notes about her Body, Above ten thousand meaner Moveables Would testify, to enrich mine Inventory. Oh sleep, thou Ape of death, lie dull upon her, And be her Sense but as a Monument, Thus in a Chapel lying. Come off, come off; As slippery as the Gordian-knot was hard. It's mine, and this will witness outwardly, As strongly as the Conscience do's within: To the madding of her Lord. On her left breast Amole Cinque-spotted: Like the Crimson drops In the bottom of a Cowslip. Here's a Voucher, Stronger then ever Law could make; this Secret Will force him think I have picked the lock, and t'ane The treasure of her Honour. No more: to what end? Why should I write this down, that's riuete, Screwed to my memory. She hath been reading late, The Tale of Tereus, here the leaffe's turned down Where Philomele gave up. I have enough, To the Trunk again, and shut the spring of it. Swift, swift, you Dragons of the night, that dawning May bear the Ravens eye: I lodge in fear, Though this a heavenly Angel: hell is here. One, two, three: time, time. It's very Like. He was expected then, But not approached. If I have lost it, I should have lost the worth of it in Gold, I'll make a journey twice as far, enjoy A second night of such sweet shortness, which Was mine in Britain, for the Ring is won. Not a whit, Your Lady being so easy. Good Sir, we must If you keep Covenant: had I not brought The knowledge of your Mistress home, I grant We were to question farther; but I now Profess my self the winner of her Honour, Together with your Ring; and not the wronger Of her, or you having proceeded but By both your wills. Sir, my Circumstances Being so never the Truth, as I will make them, Must first induce you to believe; whose strength I will confirm with oath, which I doubt not You'll give me leave to spare, when you shall find You need it not. First, her Bedchamber (Where I confess I slept not, but profess Had that was well worth watching) it was hanged With Tapestry of Silk, and Silver, the Story Proud Cleopatra, when she met her Roman, And Sidnus swelled above the Banks, or for The press of Boats, or Pride. A piece of Work So bravely done, so rich, that it did strive In Workmanship, and Valve, which I wondered Could be so rarely, and exactly wrought Since the true life on't was— More particulars Must justify my knowledge. The Chimney Is South the Chamber, and Chimney-piece Chaste Dian, bathing: never saw I figures So likely to report themselves; the Cutter Was as another Nature dumb, outwent her, Motion, and Breath left out. The Roof of the Chamber, With golden Cherubins is fretted. Her Andirons (I had forgotten them) were two winking Cupid's Of Silver, each on one foot standing, nicely Depending on their Brands. Then if you can Be pale, I beg but leave to air this Jewel: See, And now it's up again: it must be married To that your Diamond, I'll keep them. Sir (I thank her) that She stripped it from her Arm: I see her yet: Her pretty Actium, did outsell her gift, And yet enriched it too: she gave it me, And said, she prized it once. She writes so to you? does she? By Jupiter, I had it from her Arm. If you seek For further satisfying, under her Breast (Worthy her pressing) lies a Mole, right proud Of that most delicate Lodging. By my life I kissed it, and it gave me present hunger To feed again, though full. You do remember This stain upon her? Will you hear more? I'll be sworn. I'll deny nothing. With all my heart. Thou'lt torture me to leave unspoken, that Which to be spoke, would torture thee. I am glad to be constrained to utter that Which torments me to conceal. By Villainy I God this Ring; 'twas Leonatus Jewel, Whom thou didst banish: and which more may grieve thee, As it does me: a Nobler Sir, never lived betwixt sky and ground. Wilt thou hear more my Lord? That Paragon, thy daughter, For whom my heart drops blood, and my false spirits Quail to remember. Give me leave, I faint. Upon a time, unhappy was the clock That struck the hour: it was in Room, accursed The Mansion where: 'twas at a Feast, o would Our Viands had been poisoned (or at least Those which I heaved to head:) the good Posthumus, (What should I say? he was too good to be Where ill men were, and was the best of all Amongst the rarest of good ones) sitting sadly, Hearing us praise our Loves of Italy For Beauty, that made barren the swelled boast Of him that best could speak: for Feature, laming The Shrine of Ʋ enus, or straight-pight Minerva, Postures, beyond brief Nature. For Condition, A shop of all the qualities, that man Loves woman for, beside that hook of Wiving, Fairness, which strikes the eye. All too soon I shall, Unless thou wouldst grieve quickly. This Posthumus, Most Like a Noble Lord, in love, and one That had a Royal Lover, took his hint, And (not dispraising whom we praised, therein He was as calm as virtue) he began His Mistress picture, which, by his tongue, being made, And then a mind put in't, either our brags Were craked of Kitchin-Trulles, or his description Proved us unspeaking sottes. Your daughters Chastity, (there it begins) He spoke of her, as Dian had hight dreams, And she alone, were cold: Whereat, I wretch Made scruple of his praise, and wagered with him Pieces of Gold, against this, which then he wore Upon his honoured finger) to attain In suit the place of's bed, and win this Ring By hers, and mine Adultery: he (true Knight) No lesser of her Honour confident Then I did truly find her, stakes this Ring, And would so, had it been a Carbuncle Of Phœbus Wheel; and might so safely, had it Been all the worth of's Car. Away to Britain Post I in this design: Well may you (Sir) Remember me at Court, where I was taught Of your chaste Daughter, the wide difference betwixt Amorous, and Villainous. Being thus quenched Of hope, not longing; mine Italian brain, Gan in your duller Britain operare Most vildly: for my vantage excellent. And to be brief, my practice so prevailed That I returned with simular proof enough, To make the Noble Leonatus mad, By wounding his belief in her Renown, With Tokens thus, and thus: averring notes Of Chamber-hanging, Pictures, this her Bracelet (O cunning how I God) nay some marks Of secret on her person, that he could not But think her bound of Chastity quite cracked, I having 'tane the forfeit. Whereupon, Me thinks I see him now. I am down again: But now my heavy Conscience Sinks my knee, As then your force did. Take that life, beseech you Which I so often owe: but your Ring first, And here the Bracelet of the truest Princess That ever swore her Faith. Had I this cheek To bath my lips upon: this hand, whose touch, (Whose every touch) would force the Feelers soul To the oath of loyalty. This ob ect, which Takes prisoner the wild motion of mine eye, Firing it only here, should I (damned then) Slauuer with lips as common as the stairs That mount the Capitol: Join gripes, with hands Made hard with hourly falsehood (falsehood as With labour:) then by peeping in and eye Base and illustrious as the smoky light That's fed with stinking Tallow: it were fit That all the plagues of Hell should at one time Encounter such revolt. Your Lady, Is one of the fairest that I have looked upon Here are Letters for you. The heaviness and gilded within my bosom, Takes off my manhood: I have belied a Lady, The Princess of this Country; and the air on't Revengingly enfeebles me, or could this Carl, A very drudge of Nature's, have subdu'de me In my profession? Knighthood's, and Honours born As I wear mine) are titles but of scorn. If that thy Gentry (Britain) go before This Lowt, as he exceeds our Lords, the odds Is, that we scarce are men, and you are Gods. It's their fresh supplies.