SIR ANDREW

Sir Toby Belch. How now sir Toby Belch ? Bless you fair Shrew. What's that? Good mistress Marry, accost. By my troth I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of Accost? And you partly so mistress, I would I might never draw sword again: Fair Lady, do you think you have fools in hand? Why I think so: I am not such and ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest? Are you full of them? I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow of that strangest mind in that world: I delight in Masks and Re uels sometime altogether. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters, & yet I will not compare with and old man. Faith, I can cut a caper. And I think I have the backe-tricke, simply as strong as any man in Illyria. Taurus? That sides and heart. Nay by my troth I know not: but I know, to be up late, is to be up late. Faith so they say, but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking. Here comes the fool i'faith. By my troth the fool has and excellent breast. I had rather then forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. Insooth thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Ʋ apians passing the Equinoctial of Queubus: 'twas very good i'faith: I sent thee six pence for thy Lemon, hadst it? And you love me, let's doo't: I am dog at a Catch. Slight I could so beat the Rogue. That's me I warrant you. I knew 'twas I, for many do call me fool. I'll make one too. Dieu vou guard Monsieur. That youth's a rare Courtier, rain odours, well. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed: I'll get they all three already. No faith, I'll not stay a jot longer: Marry I saw your Niece do more favours to the Counts Servingman, then ever she bestowed upon me: I saw't in that Orchard. As plain as I see you now. 'Slight; will you make and Ass o'me. An't be any way, it must be with Valour, for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist, as a Politi cian. Where shall I find you? I, is't? I warrant him: do but read. Nay let me alone for swearing. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Pray God he keep his oath. Marry will I sir: and for that I promised you I'll be as good as my word. He will bear you easily, and reins well. And I do not. Now sir, have I met you again: ther's for you. For the love of God a Surgeon, send one pre sently to sir Toby. Has broke my head across, and has given Sir Toby a bloody Coxcomb too: for the love of God your help, I had rather then forty pound I were at home. The Counts Gentleman, one Cesario : we took him for a Coward, but he's the very devil incarnate. Odd's lifelings here he is: you broke my head for nothing, and that that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me: I think you set nothing by a bloody Coxecombe. Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you other gates then he did. I'll help you sir Toby, because we'll be dressed to gether. Marry but you shall have, and heeres my hand. Wherefore (sweetheart?) What's your Metam phor? Never in your life I think, unless you see Can nary put me down: me thinks sometime I have no more wit then a Christian, or and ordinary man ha: but I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit. And I thought that, I'de forswear it. I'll ride home to morrow sir Toby. What is purquoy ? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that I have in fencing dancing, and bearbaiting; Oh had I but followed the Arts. Why, would that have mended my hair? Faith I'll home to morrow sir Toby, your niece will not be seen, or if she be it's four to one, she'l none of me: the Count himself here hard by, wooes her, Let me yet know of you, whither you are bound. Excellent: Why this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now a song. There's a testrill of me too: if one knight give a I, I. I care not for good life. Oh Mistress mine where are you roaming? Oh stay and hear, your true loves coming, That can sing both high and low. Trip no further pretty sweating. Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise men son does know. Excellent good, i'faith. A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight. Very sweet, and contagious i'faith. Most certain: Let our Catch be, Thou Knave. It's not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave. Begin fool: it begins, Hold thy peace. Good i'faith: Come begin. I, he do's well enough if he be disposed, and so do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a men a hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to break promise with him, and make a fool of him. Oh, if I thought that, Idem beat him Like a dog. I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason good enough. I hau't in my nose too. And your horse now would make him and Ass. Oh 'twill be admirable. Before me she's a good wench. I was adored once too. If I cannot recover your Niece, I am a foul way out. If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will. And we do not, it is pity of our lives. Pistol him, Pistol him. Fie on him Jezabel. Her C's, her Ʋ is, and her T's : why that? So could I too. Nor I neither. Or of mine either? I'faith, or I either? I hope sir, you are, and I am yours. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him? Here's the Challenge, read it: I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't. Plague on't, and I thought he had been vallant, and so cunning in Fence, I'de have seen him damned ere I'de have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. You do mistake me sir. Nay let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him: I'll have and Actium of Battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I stroke him first, yet it's no matter for that. But it becomes we well enough, dost not? I, it's strong, and it does indifferent well in a damed coloured stock. Shall we fit about some Revels? Slid I'll after him again, and beat him.