MALVOLIO

Yes, and shall do, till the pangs of death shake him: Infirmity that decays the wise, does ever make the better fool. I marvel your Ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day, with and ordinary fool, that has no more brain then a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard already: unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gaged. I protest I take these Wisemen, that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better then the fools Zanies. Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were sick, he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep, he seems to have a before knowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him Lady, he's fortified against any denial. Ha been told so: and he says he'll stand at your door Like a Sheriffs post, and be the supporter to a bench, but he'll speak with you. Why of mankind. Of very ill manner: he'll speak with you, will you, or no. Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy: as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a Codling when 'tis almost and Apple: 'Tis with him in standing uva ter, between boy and man. He is very well-favoured, and he speaks very shrewishly: One would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him. Gentlewoman, my Lady calls. Here Madam, at your service. Madam, I will. Were not you even now, with the Countess Oh Livia? She returns this Ring to you (sir) you might have saved me my pains, to have taken it away your self. She adds moreover, that you should put your Lord into a desperate assurance, she will none of him. And one thing more, that you be never so hardy: oh come again in his affairs, unless it be to report your Lords taking of this: receive it so. Come sir, you peevishly threw it to her: and her will is, it should be so returned: If it be worth stoo ping for, there it lies, in your eye: if not, be it his that finds it. My Master's are you mad? Or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble Like Tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make and Ale house of my Ladies house, that you squeak out your Cozi ers Catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you? Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My Lady bade me tell you, that though she harbors you as her kins man, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you can separate your self and your misdemeanors, you are well come to the house: if not, and it would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell. Is't even so? This is much credit to you. Mistress Marry, if you prized my Ladies savour at any thing more then contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule; the shall know of it by this hand. It's but Fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me, and I have herd her self come thus near, that should she fancy, it should be one of my complexion. Beside she uses me with a more ex alted respect, then any one else that follows her. What should I think on't? To be Count Malvolio. There is example for't: The Lady of the Stram chy, married the yeoman of the wardrobe. Having been three months married to her, sitting in my state. Calling my Officers about me, in my branched Velvet gown: having come from a day bed, where I have left Olivia sleeping. And then to have the humour of state: and after a demure travail of regard: telling them I know my place, as I would they should do theirs: to ask for my kinsman Toby. Seven of my people with and obedient start, make out for him: I frown the while, and perchance wind up my watch, or play with my some rich Jewel: Toby approaches; curtsies there to me. I extend my hand to him thus: quenching my familiar smile with and austere regard of control. Saying, Cosine Toby, my Fortune's having cast me on your Niece, give me this prerogative of speech. You must amend your drunkenness. Beside you waste the treasure of your time, with a foolish knight. One sir Andrew. What employment have we here? By my life this is my Ladies hand: these be her very C's her Ʋ is, and her T's, and thus makes she het great P's. It is in contempt of question her hand. To the unknown beloved, this, and my good Wishes : Her very Phra es: By your leave wax. Soft, and the im pressure her Lucrece, with which she uses to seal: 'tis my Lady: To whom should this be? Jove knows I love, but who, Lips do not move, no man must know. No man must know. What follows? The numbers altar worser: No man must know, If this should be thee Malvolio? I may command where I adore, but silence Like a Lu cress knife: With bloodless stroke my heart does gore, M.Oh.A.I. does sway my life. M.Oh.A.I. does sway my life. Nay but first let me see, let me see, let me see. I may command, where I adore : Why she may command me: I serve her, she is my Lady. Why this is evident to any formal capacity. There is no obstruction in this, and the end: What should that Alphabetical po sition portend, if I could make that resemble something in me? Softly, M.Oh.A.I. M. Malvolio, M. why that begins my name. M. But then there is no consonancy in the sequel that suffers under probation: A. should follow, but Oh. does. And then I. comes behind. M, Oh, A, I. This simulation is not as the former: and yet to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for e very one of these Letters are in my name. Soft, here fol lowes prose: If this fallen into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee, but be not afraid of greatness: Some are become great, some atcheeues greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon em. Thy fates open their hands, let thy blood and spirit embrace them, and to in use thy self to what thou art Like to be: cast thy humble slough, and appear fresh. Be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants: Let thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thy self into the trick of singularity. She thus advises thee, that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever cross gartered: I say remember, go too, thou art made if thou desirest to be so: If not, let me see thee a ste ward still, the fellow of servants, and not worthy to touch Fortune's singers Farewell, She that would altar services with thee, that fortunate unhappy daylight and champion discovers not more: This is open, I will be proud, I will read pollticke Authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross acquaintance, I will be point devise, the very man. I do not now fool my self, to let imagination jade me; for every reason excites to this, that my Lady loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered, and in this she manifests her self to my love, & with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits of her liking. I thank my stars, I am happy: I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and cross Gartered, even with the swiftness of putting on. Jove, and my stars be praised. Here is yet a postscript. Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling, thy smiles become thee well. There before in my presence still smile, deero my sweet, I prithee. Jove I thank thee, I will smile, I will do every thing that thou wilt have me. Sweet Lady, ho, ho. Sad Lady, I could be sad: This does make some obstruction in the blood: This crosse-gartering, but what of that? If it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true Sonnet is: Please one, and please all. Why how dost thou man? What is the matter with thee? Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs: It did come to his hands, and Commands shall be executed. I think we do know the sweet Roman hand. To bed? I sweet heart, and I'll come to thee. Be not afraid of greatness: 'twas well writ. Some are born great. Some atcheeue greatness. And some have greatness thrust upon them. Remember who commended thy yellow stock ings. And wished to see thee cross gartered. Go too, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so. If not, let me see thee a servant still. O ho, do you come near me now: no worse man then sir Toby to look to me. This concurs direct lie with the Letter, she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him: for she incites me to that in the Letter. Cast thy humble slough says she: be oppo site with a Kinsman, surly with servants, let thy tongue langer with arguments of state, put thy self into the trick of singularity: and consequently sets down the manner how: as a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some Sir of note, and so forth. I have lymde her, but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful. And when she went away now, let this Fell low be looked too: Fellow? not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but Fellow. Why every thing adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance: What can be said? Nothing that can be, can come between me, and the full prospect of my Hope's. Well Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Go off, I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go off. Ah would, does she so? Do you know what you say? How now mistress? Sir. My prayers Minx. Go hang your selves all: you are idle shallow things, I am not of your element, you shall know more hereafter. Who calls there? Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas go to my Lady. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged, good sir Topas do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. As hell sir Topas. I am not mad sir Topas, I say to you this house is dark. I say this house is as dark as Ignorance, though Ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was ne ver man thus abused, I am no more mad then you are, make the trial of it in any constant question. That the soul of our grandam, might happily inhabit a bird. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Sir Topas, sir Topas. Fool. Fool. Fool, I say. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a Candle, and pen, ink, and paper: as I am a Gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. I good Fool. They have here propertied me: keep me in darkness, send Ministers to me, Asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Sir Topas. Fool, fool, fool I say. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper, I tell thee I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria. By this hand I am: good fool, some ink, pa per, and light: and convey what I will set down to my Lady: it shall advantage thee more, then ever the bea ring of Letter did. Believe me I am not, I tell thee true. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I prithee be gone. Madam, you have done me wrong, Notorious wrong. Lady you have, pray you peruse that Letter. You must not now deny it is your hand, Write from it if you can, in hand, or phrase, Or say, 'tis not your seal, not your invention: You can say none of this. Well, grant it then, And tell me in the modesty of honour, Why you have given me such clear lights of favour, Bade me come smiling, and cross-gartered to you, To put on yellow stockings, and to frown Upon sir Toby, and the lighter people: And acting this in and obedient hope, Why have you suffered me to be imprisoned, Kept in a dark house, visited by the Priest, And made the most notorious gecke and gull, That ere invention played on? Tell me why? I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you? At your request: Yes Nightingales answer Daws. Fool, there was never man so notoriously a bused: I am as well in my wits (fool) as thou art.