HUMBER

At length the sna le does climb the highest tops, Asce ding up the stately castle walls, At length the water with continual drops, Does penetrate the hardest marble stone, At length we are arrived in Albion, Nor could the barbarous Dacian sovereign, Nor yet the ruler of brave Belgia Stay us from cutting over to this I'll, Whereas I hear a troop of Phrigians Under the conduct of Postumi S son, Have pitched up lordly pavilions, And hope to prosper in this lovely I'll: But I will frustrate all their foolish hope, And teach them that the Scythian Emperor Leads fortune tied in a chain of gold, Constraining her to yield unto his will, And grace him with their regal diadem: Which I will have maugre their Triple hosts, And all the power their petty kings can make. Courage my son, fortune shall favour us, And yield to us the coronet of bay, That decketh none but noble conquerors: But what says Estrild to these regions? How liketh she the temperature thereof, Are they not pleasant in her gracious eyes? Kingly resolved thou glory of thy sire, But worthy Segar what uncouth novelties Bringest thou unto our royal majesty? Tut let him come with millions of hosts, He shall find entertainment good enough, Yea fit for those that are our enemies: For weell receive them at the lances points, And massacre their bodies with our blades: Yea though they were in number infinite, More then the mighty Babylonian queen, Semiramis the ruler of the West, Brought gainst the Emperor of the Scythians, Yet would we not start back one foot from them: That they might know we are invincible. Spoke Like a warlike knight my noble son, Nay Like a prince that seeks his father's joy, Therefore to morrow ere fair Titan shine, And bashful Eos messenger of light: Expels the liquid sleep from out men's eyes, Thou shalt conduct the right wing of the host, The left wing shall be under Segars charge, The rearward shall be under me my self, And lovely Estrild fair and gracious, If fortune favour me in mine attempts, Thou shalt be queen of lovely Albion, Fortune shall favour me in mine attempts, And make the Queen of lovely Albion. Come let us in and muster up our train, And furnish up our lusty soldiers, That they may be a bulwark to our state, And bring our wished joys to perfect end. Hubba, go take a coronet of our horse As many lanciers, and light armed knights As may suffice for such and enterprise, And place them in the grove of Caledon, With these, when as the skirmish does increase Retire thou from the sheltiers of the wood, And set upon the weakened Trojans backs, For policy joined with chivalry Can never be put back from victory. Thou base born Hun, how durst thou be so bold As once to menace warlike Albanact ? The great commander of these regions, But thou shalt buy thy rashness with thy death, And rue too late thy over bold attempts, For with this sword this instrument of death, That hath be drenched in my foemen's blood, I'll separate thy body from thy head, And set that coward blood of thine abroach. Nor wreak I of thy threats thou princox boy, Nor do I fear thy foolish insolency, And but thou better use thy bragging blade, Then thou dost rule thy overflowing tongue, Superbious Britain, thou shalt know too soon The force of Humber and his Scythians. How bravely this young Britain Albanact Darteth abroad the thunderbolts of war, Beating down millions with his furious mood; And in his glory triumphs over all, Moving the massy squadrants of the ground; Heap hills on hills, to scale the starry sky, When Briareus armed with and hundredth hands Flung forth and hundredth mountains at great Jove, And when the monstrous giant Monichus Hurled mount Olympus at great Mars his targe, And shot huge caedars at Minervas shield; How does he overlook with haughty front My fleeting hosts, and lifts his lofty face Against us all that now do fear his force, Like as we see the wrathful sea from far In a great mountain heaped with hideous noise With thousand billows Beatrice against the ships And toss them in the waves Like tennis balls. Thus from the dreadful shocks of furious Mars Thundering alarms, and Rhamnusia's drum We are retired with joyful victory, The slaughtered Trojans squeltring in heir blood, Infect the air with their carcases, And are a pray for every ravenous bird. Thanks lovely Estrild, solace to my soul. But valiant Hubba for thy chivalry Declared against the men of Albany, Lo here a flowering garland wreathed of bay, As a reward for thy forward mi de. And now brave soldiers for this good suc cease, Carouse whole cups of Amazonian wine, Sweeter then Nectar or Ambrosia, And cast away the clods of cursed care, With goblets crowned with Semeleius gifts, Now let us march to Abis silver streams That clearly glide along the Champane fields, And moist the gram j meads with humid drops. Found drums & trumpets, found up cheerfully, Sith we return with joy and victory. Thus are we come victorious conquerors Unto the flowing currents silver streams Which in memorial of our victory, Shall be agnominated by our name, And talked of by our posterity: For sure I hope before the golden sun Posteth his horses to fair Thetis plains, To see the waters turned into blood, And change his blewish hue to rueful read, By reason of the fatal massacre Which shall be made upon the virent plains. See how the traitor does presage his harm, See how he glories at his own decay, See how he triumphs at his proper lose, Oh fortune vild, unstable, fickle, frail. Me thinks I see both armies in the field, The broken lances climb the crystal skies, Some headless lie, some breathless on the ground, Anb every place is strawed with carcases, Behold the grass hath lost his pleasant green, The sweetest sighed that ever might be seen. Right martial be high thoughts my noble son, And all thy words savour of chivalry, But warlike Segar what strange accidents Makes you to leave the warding of the camp. But what says Segar to these accidents? What counsel gives he in extremities? And resolute Segar I mean to be, Perhaps some bli full star will favour us, And come word bring to our perplexed state: Come let us in and fortify our camp, So to withstand their strong invasion. So nought will satisfy your wandering ghost But dire revenge, nothing but Humbers fallen, Because he conquered you in Vlbany. Now by my soul Humber would be condemned To Tan also hunger or Ixion's wheel, Or to the vulture of Prometheus, Rather then that this murder were undone. When as I die isle drag thy cursed ghost Through all the rivers of foul Erebus, Through burning sulphur of the Limbo-lake To allay the burning fury of that heat That rages in mine everlasting soul. What basiliskt was hatched in this place, Where every thing consumed is to nought? What fearful Fury haunts these cursed groves Where not a root is le to for Humbers meat? Hath fell Alecto with envenomed blasts, Breathed forth poison in these tender plains? Hath triple Cerberus with contagious foam, Sowde Aconitum amongst these withered herbs? Hath dreadful F mes with her charming rods Brought barreinnesse on every fruitful tree? What not a root, no fruit, no beast, no bird, To nourish Humber in this wilderness? What would you more you fiends of Erebus, My very entrails burn for want of drink, My bowels cry, Humber give us some meat, But wretched Humber can give you no meat, These foul accursed groves afford no meat. This fruitless soil, this grou ̄ worser brings forth no meam The gods, hard hearted gods, yield me no meat. Then how can Humber give you any meat? How do you masters, how do you? how have you escaped hanging this long time? i'faith I have escaped many a scouring this year, but I thank God I have passed them all with a good couragio, couragio, & my wife & I are in great love and charity now, I thank my manhood & my strength, for I will tell you mai sters, upon a certain day at night I came home, to say the very truth, with my stomach full of wine, and ran up into the chamber where my wife soberl sat rocking my little baby, leaning her back against the bed, singing lullaby. Now when she saw me come with my nose foremost, thinking that I been drunk, as I was indeed, snatched up a faggot stick in her hand, and came furiously marching towards me with a big face, S though she would have eaten me at a bit; thundering out these words unto me. Thou drun ken knave where hast thou been so long? I shall teach thee how to benight me and other time; and so she began to play knaves trumps. Now although I trem bled fearing she would set her ten commandments in my face, ran within her, and taking her lustily by the middle, I carried her valiantly to the bed, and flin ging her upon it, flung my self upon her, and there I delighted her so with the sport I made, that ever after she would call me sweet husband, and so banished brawling for ever: and to see the good will of the wench, she bought with her portion a yard of land, and by that I am now become one of the richest me ̄ in our parish. Well Master's whats a clock, it is now breakfast time, you shall see what meat I have here for my breakfast. Was ever land so fruitless as this land? Was ever grove so graceless as this grove? Was ever soil so barren as this soil? O no: the land where hungry Fame's dwelled, May no wise aequalize this cursed land, No even the climate of the torrid zone Brings forth more fruit then this accursed grove. Near came sweet Ceres, never came Venus here, Triptolemus the God of husbandmen, Near sowd his seed in this foul wilderness. The hunger-bitten dogs of Acheron, Chaste from the ninefold Puriflegiton, Have set their footsteps in this damned ground. The iron hearted Furies armed with snakes, Scattered huge Hidras over all the plains, which have continued ̄ summed the grass, the herbs, the trees which have drunk up the flowing water springs. Thou great commander of the starry sky, That guide st the life of every mortal wight From the enclosures of the fleeting clouds, Rain down some food, or else I faint and die. Pour down some drink, or else I faint and die. Oh Jupiter hast thou sent Mercury In clownish shape to minister some food? Some meat, some meat, some meat. Give me some meat villain, gium me some meat, Or gainst this rock, I'll dash thy cursed brains, And rend thy bowels with my bloody hands. Give me some meat villain, give me some meat. Oh vita miserolonga, faelici brevis, Ehen malorem fame's extremum malum. Long have I lived in this desert cave, With eating hawes and miserable roots, Devouring leaves and beastly excrements. Caves were my beds, and stones my pillow bea es, Fear was my sleep, and horror was my dream, For still me thought at every boisterous blast Now Locrine comes, now Humber thou must die: So that for fear and hunger, Humbers mind Can never rest, but always trembling stands. Oh what Danubius now may quench my thirst? What Euphrates, what lightfoot Euripus, May now allay the fury of that heat, Which raging in my enthralls eats me up? You ghastly devils of the ninefold Sticks, You damned ghosts of joyless Acheron, You mournful souls, vexed in Abissus vaults, You coalblack devils of Avern S pond, Come with your fleshhooks, rend my famished arms, These arms that have sustained their masters life, Come with your raisours, ippe my bowels up, With your sharp fireforks crack my starved bones, Use me as you will, so Humber may not live. Accur ed gods that rule the starry poles, Accursed Jove king of the cursed gods, Cast down your lightning on poor Humbers head, That I may leave this deathlike life of mine, What hear you not, and shall not Humber die? Nay I will die though all the gods say nay. And gentle Aby take my troubled corpse, Take it and keep it from all mor all eyes, That none may say when I have lost my breath, The very floods conspire gainst Humbers death. Encaedem sequitur, caedes in caede quieso . Humber is dead, joy heavens, leap earth, dance trees Now mayest thou reach thy apples Tantalus, And with them feed thy hunger-bitten limbs. Now Sisyphus leave umbling of thy rock, And rest thy restless bones upon the same. Unbind Ixion cruel Rhadamanth, And lay proud Humber on the whirling wheel. Back will I post to hell mouth Taenarus And pass Cocitu , to the Elysian fields, And tell my father Brutus of these news. Ay me, I fear my Hubba is surprised.