in A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed — Rowley, William; Heywood, Thomas (?)
Metadata
Play
A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed
Author
Rowley, William; Heywood, Thomas (?)
Year (catalogued)
1632
First performance
1611
Decade
1630s
Genre
Comedy
Play type
Adult Professional
Company
Unknown
Speech prefix(es)
Keep. | Keeper.
Words
386
Characters
2018
Typicality
0.22 (cosine to cluster centroid)
TCP id
A11153
BritDrama no.
2084
Cluster
Cluster 21 — Old fathers & plain counsel
Important excerpts
No keyword-matching excerpt could be extracted (the cluster label doesn't share vocabulary with this character's speech).
Full speech
Yes Sir, your name is registered among the prisoners. As all prisons have, Sir. Yes Master Foster, and I sorrow for your losses, Yet doubt not but your son and brother. There be some Fees to pay, Sir, at your coming in. alas, Sir, this house is poor. Sir, being the youngest prisoner in the house, You must beg at the iron grate above, As others do for your relief and their's. Who would you speak with, Sir? O, cry you mercy; it's his son: I'l leave them. What's your pleasure, Sir. One Master Foster, Sir, a decayed Citizen new Come in. Cry you mercy Sir, you know him Better than my self, I think. Well Sir, I shall. Heaven bless your purpose, Sir. No? Why look ye Sir, you shall want neither Meat, drink, money, nor any thing that the House affords, or if any thing abroad Like ye, Sir, here's money, send for what you will Sir: Nay, you shall beg no more at the Grate neither. Yes Sir. It's what you please to call it. No matter Sir, since you have good meat set Before you, never ask who sent it; if heaven Provide for you, and make the fowls of the Air your. Cators, feed you fat, and be thankful, And so I leave you. Sir, there's one without desires to speak with you. Master Foster, the new Sheriff your brother Is come to Ludgate, and I am come in haste To know your pleasure, if you would see him. I shall Sir. Yes Sir; I will. The prisoners are removed Sir. As you commanded Sir, I have discharged him. Troth Sir, as a man overcome betwixt grief and gladness, But turning to his son, he fetched a sighs So violent, as if his heart would break, And silent, wept, having no power to speak. I am gone Sir. And many hundreds more Sir, you have reedified And built it fair, adding more ground to it, And by pipes of led from Paddingtun, drawn Water thither, free for all prisoners, lodgings Likewise free, and a hundred pounds yearly, to make Them fues for better comfort: all this is almost finished: COme, come, be merry Sir; do as mourners do at Funerals, wear your Hat in your eyes, and Laugh in your heart.
Plot summary
Plot — A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed
Old Forster has recently made his fortune by marrying a rich widow, but they are both dissatisfied with the financial irresponsibility of his brother and son, whom ===== PAGE 17 ===== 1624 they are on the point of disowning. Robert, the son, has purloined some of his stepmother’s money to buy his uncle, Stephen Forster, out of debtors’ prison; he also gives Stephen money to buy new clothes. Stephen uses the money for gambling, and is cheated. Robert is disappointed to find him in the gaming-house, and he himself likewise gets into trouble with his stepmother for going there, even though he only went in to look for Stephen. Mistress Forster has an uncommonly even- tempered friend, another rich widow, who enjoys miraculous good fortune. When she loses her wedding ring in the river, it turns up inside a salmon bought by her maid. She meets Stephen at the gaming-house and likes him. She suggests that he should marry for money, and offers herself. He accepts, and they perform a hand-fasting. Jane is being pursued by two undesirable suitors, an old knight and a young fool. Her father, Alderman Brune, suggests Robert Forster as a third option, if he can be reconciled with his father. Brune is Old Forster’s partner in a mercantile venture, but accepts Forster’s offer to buy him out; he takes payment in cloth rather than cash, which clears Forster’s warehouses for the new merchandise due in any day. However, Forster continues to look askance at Robert. News arrives that the ships have sunk in the Thames: Forster is bankrupt, and voluntarily commits himself to prison in order to avoid his creditors. Stephen takes charge of his new wife’s property, and proves, against expectations, to be provident rather than spendthrift. He asks Robert to help him manage the estate, and adopts him as his heir, insisting only that he does nothing to help his father. However, Stephen himself pays the prison-keeper to ensure that his brother remains comfortable. When Jane’s two other suitors complain of the favour shown to Robert, Stephen produces evidence that they are in debt to the widow’s first husband (and therefore now to him), and the threat of arrest gets rid of them. The widow generously accepts their payment of £200 to discharge a debt of ten times that amount. Unable to resist his sense of filial obligation, Robert purloins the money and gives it to his father. Stephen pretends to be angry, but secretly pays off his brother’s creditors and thereby secures his release.…