SIM

G Ood morrow Master Time. Not yet I think, he herd some ill news of your Brother Alexander last night, that will make him lie and hour extraordinary. Here was Goody Fin the fishwoman fetched home her Ring last night. So I did fir and washed it first in two waters. Nay, you are cursed as much as he already. Yes, yes, she that dwells in Blackfriars, next to the sign of the Fool laughing at a feather. Why so did I too, but it seems the Widow took him at a better hand, and raised him so much the sooner. More hast, the worse speed, here's never a clout now. This it's a Sumners coat. O hard hearted man of grease. Why sir, for ten groats you may make your self drunk, and so buy a vice outright for half the money. How long wood y have it! And if he miss his day, and forfeit, it shall be yours and your heirs for ever. Alas sir, heel tear and pull out your sons throat. It's a Diamond. Has turned his stomach, for all the World Like a Puritans, at the sighed of a surplesse, but your breakfast shall be devoured by a stomach of a stronger constitution I war rant you. Exit. Worth so much, I know my Master will make dice on them, then it's but letting Master Alexander carry them next Christmas to the Temple, he'll make a hundred marks a night of them. And he cannot hurt you fool, ther's a Saint holds him by the nose. What a question's that, what does my Master, and his prayer book a Sunday both in a pew? Well, well, you Gipsy, what do we both in a pew? Why then it'll smell of the painted cloth. Is pastime pretty, put in that for the sports sake. Then will she answer, if you cannot a younger can, And look, look sir, now I ta ke of the younger, Yonder's Ancient Young come over again, that M rgaged sixty pound Per annum before he went, I am deceived if he come not a day after the Fair. A prayer book sir. Look I beseech thee, we shall have oat meal in our pottage six weeks after. Plums in our pudding a Sunday, plums in our pudding. It Ancient Young sir: No sir, you have made him a young Ancient The better for you, he thanks you sir. A qualm of threescore years come over his sto macke, nothing else. By fire, sir, by fire. Sir, Blood. Have I don't well? The devil himself could not have don't better. They are both a concluding on't yonder, to mor row's the day, one wedding dinner must serve both mar riages. But I say, Master Eare-lacke the old man, a foot Like a Bear, a leg Like a bedstaff, a hand Like a hatchet, and eye Like a pig, and a face Like a w ter Pigme, there's a man for a Maidenhead. What, why what shall fifteen do with sixty and twelve, make a screen of him, stand next the fire, whilst you fit behind him, and keep a friends lips warm , many a wench wood be glad of such a fortune. She must be your wise, I tell— Good Sir. Why, right Sir, and then it's but tickling you o'th forehead with her heals, you are awake again, and never the worse man. I will answer presently Sir, with another Saw. Young, say she be young, young Mutton's sweet, content is above Gold, if Like and old Cock he with young Mutton meets, he feeds Like a Cuckold. Calf Sir, sh p's too simple for me. I will save you a cup at that rate fir. He's a little mad, and I had best hang him upon the cross beam in the Garret. Exit. It's a very dark night sir, you will not have a cloak for the rain. Nay, then I let your cloak for the rain alone, and fetch you a cloak for your knavery. Exit. Have you left out any thing for supper? And old devil in a greasy Satin doublet, keep you company. I say, the Satin doublet you will wear too mor row, will be the best in the company sir. Nay, you're well enough served, you know how your rother not and ho e ago, lay at you oh have the Ancient, one that your eeth e'ne water at, and yet you cry, I cannot love him, I wonnot have him. That's true, how will you go to bed else, but re member he is a man of War, and Ancient, you are his continued lours, now when he has nimbly displayed you, and handsomely folded you up against the next fight, then we shall have you cry, o sweet Sim, I had been undone, if I had not been undone. A bed, a Bawd with two teeth would not mumble Bacon, so then he so sparing you, shall wear nothing, but from the Brokers at second hand, when being and Ancients wife, you shall be sure to flourish. Well, I leave you to the managing of Ancient Young, while I go in and flap the old man i'th mouth with a Fox tail. Exit. Yes, and I can tell you news of a mad Lover. Why one Master Randals, a Welshman, I have had such a fit with him, he says he was wished to very wealthy Widow, but of you he has herd much Histories, that he will marry you, though he never saw you, and that the par boiled Aetna of his bosom, might be quenched by the con sequent pastime, in the prittish flames of his prittish blood, he salutes you with that love letter. Ever while you live, it's your first rule in Weleh Grammars, that her forsake Widow's, and take Maids, was no Crete wonder, for Sentlemen ever love the first cut. The Coxecombe follows by consequence, mark else. I Randall crack, of Carmaerden, do love thee Marry Ploodbounds, of H ds-ditch, dwelling Aulgate, and Pishops gate, joust as between hawk and buzzard. And that her loves Mary's so moustrous, yet ne for saw her, was because her hear her in all Societies so ferry fillanously commended, but specially before one Ma ster pussy Constables of her Parish, who made her self half foe ' by swearing by the Wines, that Mary's wooed be monstrous good Marriages for Randals. If Mary's can love a Prittaine of the blood of Cad walader, which Cadwalader, was Prutes great Crandfather. Randalls was come in proper persons, pring round sillings in her pockets, get father's good will, and go to Surch a Sun day, with a whole dozen of Welch Harps before her, so her rest her constant Lovers, Randall William, ap Thomas, ap Tavy, ap Robert, ap Rice, ap Sheffery, Crack. Why, he said, these all rest your constant Lovers, whereof, for manners sake, he puts himself in the first place; he will call here presently, will you answer him by Letter or word of mouth. Will you not answer the Lovesick gentleman. I, but I'll have more care of the Gentleman I war rant you, if I do not make my self merry, and startle your midnight meeting, say Sim has no more wit then his God father's, and they were both Headmen of this Parish. The old man has money enough for her, and if you marry her, as if your project take, you may, sheele take you more then a man. Trough cannot you tell that, this is the truth on't, she wood be married to morrow, to one Ancient Young a fell low she cannot endure, now she says, if you cooed meet her privately to night, between ten & eleven, joust at the great Crossway, by the Nags head Tavern at Leaden-hall. Theres the very place, now because you come the welcomest man in the world to hinder the match against her mind with the Ancient, there she will meet you, go with you to your lodging, lie there all night, and be mar ried to you i'th morning at the Tower, assoon as you shall please. Would, would, would, so, so, this midnight match shall be mine, she told me she was to meet the Ancient there, I'll be sure the Ancient shall meet him there, so I shall Lie a bed to laugh, to think if he meet her there, how she will be startled, and if the Ancient meet him there, how he will be cudgeled, beware your ribs Master Randall. Exit. Come John, carry your hand steadily, the guess drop in a pace, do not let your wine drop on't. Rose, I pray burn some pitch i'th Parlour, it's good against ill airs, Master Alexander will be here. Did he speak Welch or English? If this were not Master Randalls of Randall Hall that I told ye of, I'll be flayed. Some horse taught him that it's worth God a mercy. I tell ye true Gallants, I have seen neither of them to day. Shall I give him the lie? They have Rose the Cookmaid without, but they say you have Mistress Marry within. He shall make hast for shame. O Gentlemen, where are you? where are you? Where are you Gentlemen? Nay, has put her in there already, for we found him a bed with her. Nay Sir, the jest was, that they should fallen asleep together, and forget themselves, for very lovingly we found them together, Like the Iemini, or the two Winter morning's met together: Look, look, look where they come Sir, and Jarvis between them, joust Like the picture of knavery, betwixt fraud and lechery. You, a new fangled fouler, came to show your Art i'th dark, but take this truth, you catched in truth a Cookow for't. Enter Time. She looks as if she had sold Kitchenstuff. Not afore dinner pray Sir, the Pies are almost baked. Enter Rand. Gentlemen, there's Alegant i'th house, pray set no more abroach. She means for a fool, I am feign to answer for you. She has dispatched you Sir. I knew you were a crafty Merchant, you helped my Master to such bargains upon the Exchange last night: here has been the merriest morning after it. And he wonnot, here are those that will forsooth. If she be quick, she's with child, whosoever God it you must father it, so that you come o'th neck, forth wid dow's quick, there's a witty posy for you quick Widow I shall Sir. Here is the sign of Sim Sir. There is no Moll, there is no dainty young Wid dow, but a damnable Bawd we found a bed with a face Like and Apple half roasted. Alas Sir, when the drink's in, the wit's out, and none but wise children know their own Father's. Mass, has writ it in Welch English, we had been spoiled else, for want of and interpreter, but thus he begins, Mistress Mary's. Your nose drops, ' will spoil her ruff. Here's a Gentleman would speak with you, are a mad man.