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Full speech
Did her not see her true Loves, As her came from London, O, if her saw not her fine brave Loves, Randall is quite undone, Well, was never mortal man in Wales, cooed have wagd pra for, finers, and nimblers, then Randals have done, to get service in Londons: whoop, where was her now, just upon a bridge of stone, between the legs of a couple of pretty hills, but no more never mountains in Wales, then Clime of the Cloughes bow, to her Cozen David's Harp, and now her prattle of Davy, I think yonder come prancing down the hills from Kingstone a coupl of her tother cozens Saint Nicholas Clark's. the morning was so read as and egg, and the place ferry full of dangers, perils, and bloody busi nesses by reports: augh her swords was trawne, God plesse us and her cozen Hercules was not stand against too, which shall her take if they take Randalls, will rip Randals cuts out, and then Ran dals shall see Pawles steeples no more, therefore her will go di rectly under the bridge, here was but standing to knees in little fine cool fair waters, and becat if her have Randalls out, her shall come and fetch Randalls and her will, were her nineteen Nicholas Clerks. Exit. Spur did her call her, have made Randals stand without pootes, in ferry pitiful pickles, but her will run as nimbles to Londons, as Creyhound after Rabbits, and yet now her remember what her Cozens talked, was some wiser and some too, Randals herd talk of Parne upon left hand, and a brave bag with hundred pounds in round shil lings Cod plesse us, and yonder was Parnes and upon left hands too, now here was questions, & demands to be made, why Randals should not rob them would rob Randals, her will go to parnes, pluck away pords, pull out paggs, and show her cozen a round pair of heals, with aule her round sillings, mark her now. Exit. Her have God her page and aule by the hand, and her had ferrily thought in conscience, had not been so ma nigh round sillings in whole world's but in Wales, it time to supply her store, her had but thirteen pence half penny in awl the world's, and that her have left in her little white purse, with a rope her found py the parne, just in the place her had this: Randals will be no serving men now, her will buy er brave Parrells, brave Swords, brave Taggers, and brave eathers, and go a wooing to brave comely pretty ma ds, r b Randalls, becat and her were ten dozens of coz ns, Randals rob her, mark her now. Exit. Her loved her once, her loved her no more, Saint Tauis so well as her loved her then. What do her keep open house, had her herd her was Widows that dwelled here, are you Widow's good woe ns? Augle Randalls comes in very good times, you keep Ordinaries her think, what have you set a cat before gallants there? Is her so, I pray bid her Mistress observe Ran dals for valours, and brave adventures? Sounds some Metheglings here. Well, because her will make a great deals of ne cessities of virtues, mark with what a grace Randals will drink to her Mistress. Oh noble Widow's, her heart was full of woes. 'Sounds, was that her manners to take away Randalls cups? A pair of a hundred of seepes, thirty brave Cows, and twelve dozen of Runts. When high King Henry, second ruled this land, the couple of her name, Beside her Queen, was teerely loved, a fair and Princely—Widow's, Hark you Widow's, Randals was disturbed in cogitati ens, about Lands, Ploughs, and Cheese presses in Wales, and becat her have forgotten where her, and her meet soon at pright dark Evening's. O haw, have her—but Randals was talk no Ducth, pray meet her in the Welch walk, was no Welch walk there? Can her make wedding pedd pravely for Randals, and Widow's? Was ferry good words. Augh, S. Tauie, Owen Morgan, and aule her Counterfeit sins, was Widow her self ay so? Sounds, her was kill now, gog, and gogmagog, a whole dozen of shiants, make oole of Randals, Randalls was wished to as brave match as widows was, know one Marry Bloodhound, was would aule, when her father kick up heals, and becat though her never saw her, her will send her Love letters presently, get her good wills, and go to shurch and marry, and her were eight and thirty, two hundred and nine and fifty widows, mark her now. Augh, her was very clad her was mad. Becat her will go and prepare Priests presently, look ye Simkins, there is a great deal of round sillings for her, her was very lucky sillings, for came to Randalls shust for all the World as Fortune was come to Fool, tell Mary's, her will meet her, her warrant her, make many puppy Fools of Ancients, and love her very mon strously. Exit. Marry. Lands, and livings? Her means the scurvy Ancient. Cats street was call her, sure Randalls was wrapped in mother's smock. Exit. Zounes was another Fire Drake walk in Shange, weel run pack, mass Mary's have saved her labours, and was come after Randalls, Mary's was Randall that loves her mightily Mary's. How did Watch let her go at Graces street? Well now, her understands Mary's loves Ran dalls so mighty deal. Mary's shall go with Randalls to lodgings, and that her Father work no divorcements, he will lie with her aule Night, and marry her betimes next mor ning, mean time her will make Lands and Livings fast. If Randall false to Mary's prove, Then let not Mary's Randalls love: For Randalls was so true as Io e, And Mary's was her joy. If Randalls was not Pritaine born, Let Mary's Randalls prow adorn. And let her give a foul great horn to Randalls, Her will love her cret deal of much her warrant her. And Mary's now was wone, and all her pusinesse done, and Randalls now was run, her have made all sure I her warrant her. Cot plesse her Father Bloodhounds, Randals have robbed Ancients her warrant her. Augh was her so, will hear and Noble Prittaine, how her gull and English Flag? O noble Randalls, as her meet by Nags- head with Mayres Blood, brave. Hark in her tother ear, her will not deliver her, and her were nine and forty Ancients, and five and fourscore Flags. Nay let her come with her pack of needles, Ran dalls can pox and bob, as well as her, her warrant her. Her will not restore her, 'twas Marry Bloodhounds gave her the box, Randals have married Marry Bloodhounds and guled Ancients, mark her now. Zoun's, make Tog of Randalls? come out here Mary's. Look here was Marry Bloodhounds. Enter Maid & Hugh. now, I pray tumble down of her Mary-po es, and ask her father blessing? Her wail in woe, her plunge in pain. And yet becat her do not neither, Randalls will prove her self Prittaines born, and because her understands Ancients was brave fellows, and great Travelers, there is her box for her. And because was no remedies, before her aule, here will Randals embrace Mary's, and take a pusse— kisses. Became her look ferry black indeed, Becat was as well spoke as Randall her self cood talk. Randals will not be outprav'd I warrant her. Eggs man, some Metheglings, the wine of Wales. Sounds, what do Randals amongst bloodhounds, good Widow's lend her and ear. Give her but another hark? O brave Widow's, her will meet her there, he know her times and her seasons, her warrant her, Ran dalls will make these brave Gallants hang her selves in those garters of willow Garlands apout her pates, mark her now, and remember. Exit. Mass, was ferry true, was aule Gentlemen in Wales, her never saw her Shamber-maid, pray where was her Shamber-maid? Farewell Widow's prove, her shall no Randals have, Widow's was ferry full of wiles, Marry Bloodhounds now, Randals make a v , Was run for Moll a couple of miles. Was high, high pump, there as her turn into Graces street. Let her come, let her come, Randals will redeem reputations her warrant her. Zounds, was not Prittish so good as English? Was ferry exceeding dark, but here is high pumps, sure here is two continued pie of cross ways, and there was the street where Grace dwells, one hundred pound in morning's in round shillings, and wife worth one thousand ere her go to bed. Randalls Fortune's comes tumbling in, Like Lawyers Fees, hudole upon huddle. More then men, what the?
Plot summary
Plot — A Match at Midnight
Old Bloodhound is training his younger son Tim in the family pawnbroking business, since Alexander, the elder son, is a drunken wastrel. He intends to marry his daughter Mary to the informer Earlack, even though she prefers Ensign Young, while he himself will marry the young widow Wag. The widow has other suitors, including her servant Jarvis, but wants to get rid of them. She arranges a midnight assignation with Old Bloodhound, intending not to turn up. Jarvis arranges a substitute, and tells Bloodhound that his mistress has come incognito and must be addressed as Mistress Coot; in fact it really is a Mistress Coot, an old bawd, whom Bloodhound takes home that night in preparation for a wedding the next morning. Meanwhile, Mary plans to elope with Young that ' night, retrieving his mortgage from her father’s papers. 1622 The widow's Welsh suitor, Randall, hears about Mary and, though he has never met her, decides he prefers her to Wag. The servant Sim fixes Randall up with an assignation that night, but he ends up encountering Wag's maid, who is returning from a late errand and who also happens to be named Mary. Tim visits the tavern to give Alexander some pawn- money, and becomes enamoured of Sue Shortheels, thinking her a lady of noble descent. In fact, she is a prostitute. Alexander gets into the widow’s bedroom and hides under her bed, then forces her to agree to marry him by threatening to undress just as neighbours appear to be arriving. The various wedding plans unravel in the morning. Earlack has sneaked the opportunity to sleep with the widow — who is really Coot the bawd and a somewhat less desirable prospect in bed once seen in daylight. Meanwhile, Tim has married Sue, not knowing her true profession until it is too late, and Mary has married Young, to the dismay of Randall, who finds that he has accidentally married a servant. Only Alexander seems on course for the wedding he wants, until the widow points out that Jarvis has a prior claim: when he tried to seduce her months ago, she demanded that he should prove himself by living in her household as her servant. Now, however, she intends to honour her dead husband by never remarrying. Jarvis reveals his true identity: he is Wag himself, the widow’s husband, still alive, and satisfied that his ruse has proven his wife’s fidelity.