MOPSUS

Iocastus, I love Thestylis abominably, The mouth of my affection waters at her. How Iocastus? Marry a puppet? Wed a mote ith' Sun? Go look a wife in nutshells? woo a gnat That's nothing but a voice? No no, Iocastus, I must have flesh and blood, and will have Thestylis. A fig for Fairies! Sacred read and white, How fares thy reverend beauty? I have been Discoursing with the birds. And our Birds Talk better far then they: a new-laid egg Of Sicily shall out talk the bravest Parrat In Oberons, Utopia. Several languages, As Cawation, Chirpation, Hootation. Whistleation, Crowation, Cackleation, Shreekation, Hissation. No, that's our language, we our selves speak that, That are the learned Augurs. Very good. A Woodcock and a Goose. I told they so. Why thus—and first the Woodcock—Wood and Cock, Both very good signs. For first the wood does signify The fire of our love shall never goeout, Because it has more fuel: wood does signify Morefuell. Better then tother: That I shall crow over those that are my rivals, And roost my self with thee. I, I the Goose, that likes me best of all, Th'ast herd our gray-b ard shepherds talk of Room, And what the Geese did there: The Goose does signify That I shall keep thy Capit ll. And Antimasque of fleas? brother me thinks A masque of Birds were better, that could dance The morrice in the air, Wrens and Robin-redbrests, Linnets, and Titmise. Be wise? I scorn the motion! follow his counsel and be wise? That's a fine trick faith! is this and age For to be wise in? I do mean to be Th'interpreter. What to interpret Oracles? A fool must be th'interpreter. Nay I hope I am as fair for't as another man. If I should now grow wise against my will, And catch this wisdom! It dangerous venturing. Now I think on't too Pray Heaven this air be wholesome! is there not And antidote against it? what do you think Of garlic every morning? Certainly I am infected, now the fit's upon me! 'Tis some thing Like and ague, sure I caught it With talking with a Scholar next my heart. Excellent she Doctor! Your women are the best Physicians, And have the better practice. True! Oh what a stomach have I To be her patient! No, no I warrant you, I'll walk with no body but my brother here, Or you, or mad Amyntas. If ere I travel hang me. Thanks good Dorylas. I thank the gracious stars they are! Why much about a dozen. What air is that? The voice of—Turtles billing! Of Turtles! a good Omen! she is chased— And billing, billing, oh delicious billing! That word presages kissing.— Stand aside, —The other side; I will not talk to thee Unless I have the wind. Th'art infected; Worse then the Plague, the Wisdom! You have been in travel, & that's dangerous For getting Wisdom. By Ceres? By Ceres welcome then! I: but I come to meet The Citizens of the air; you have herd my skill In augury? How? not mentioned? I know that. Why some birds or other, Fly from all countries hither, and they tell me. With and antidote I may: but my Corymbus What strange birds have you seen beyond seas? But, Corymbus, Are those fine Ladybirds such pretty things? Is the Cocklady-bird, or the Henlady-bird The better? Oh admirable! Would you had brought me one! but whats the Fan? Delicate! And what's their Feather? The Lapwing? then they 'l—lie. Delicious Ladybirds! But have they such brave trains, such curious tails As our birds have? Nay it's the tail, Corymbus, Surely these things you call the Ladybirds Are the true birds of Paradise! Farewell Corymbus! By my troth I never longed for any thing in my life So much as Ladybirds; dainty Ladybirds! I would fetch one of them; but I dare not travel For fear I catch the wisdom. Oh sweet Ladybirds! With copple crowns, and wings but on one side! And tails Like Peacocks! curious Ladybirds! O good Amyntas! Would would he! It is, an't please your Worship. Nay if you begin Once to talk wisely, It's above high time, That I were gone: farewell Bellerophon! I must go seek my Thestylis; she's not here. Where? Yes I see it plain, But I spy nothing. Now I look better on't, I see it plain; Does it not not hurt you? You'll fright away the birds else, and clean spoil My augury. Now for some happy Omen! Why laughs the madman? Constancy in Love, my Thestylis, This bird is always in a note. Bird of the spring I thank thee! Mopsus thanks thee. What a brave man am I? That which you have not, may not, cannot have? It is my skill, you cannot have my skill. Lies? here within this noddle. No, no I am deceived, it is not that. Good Amyntas. You Cuckold-maker, I will tell King Oberon You lie with Mab his wife! Do so then. Wise? then I'll have none of her, that's the way To get wise children, troth and I had rather They should be bastards. But be there any Ladybirds there. And Cuckoes too To presage constancy? I shall be a whole kennel of dogs anon. Lord what a heavenly puppy he makes me now! Would? be their Lady-dogs as well as Ladybirds too! Slid I was never called that name before: Thestylis, Amyntas calls me Beauty, I prithee come kiss me. Is that a dogs name too? would I were hanged If I 'le have any of it for that trick. O good master! Bow wow, bow wow wow— Start and Oracle? As if and Oracle were a hare? Start it who's will for me, For I 'le not start it. Unkennel it? What? Good sir, I have no skill in starting or unkennelling, But if you'll have me spring and Oracle.— I that I will, my skill lies all in birds, Whose flight I fear I have observed so long That I am metamorphosed to a spaniel. Oh shall I never Rid me of this misfortune! (thanks good omen) Cras, cras she says, tomorrow it'll be better. Black bird I thank thee! So then Orybasus Was my great grandfather. Though I be a Dog, I come of a good house. My Ancestors Were all of Noble names passed understanding What a brave man's my Master! where learned he All this? Never stir now I could find in my heart To leave my Augury and study Heraldry; A man I think may learnt as well as tother, Yet never fear of growing too wise upon't. And then will I record the pedigree Of all the dogs i'th' world. Oh that I had The Arms of all our house byth' Mother's side! Oh heavens! and shall I change my master, One mad man for another? Oh good sir, for Melampus sake, and Dorceus Laelaps, Ichnobates, Lagon, Melanchetes, Labros, Nebrophonos, Oresitrophus, Tygris, Orybatus, Therydamas, Aellus, Dromes, Nape, and the rest Of all my Noble ancestors deceased, Be merciful unto me! Pity pity The only hope of all our family. Yes much! the birds will not advice me to it. Are the mad dogs gone yet? A little more would have persuaded me Into a spaniel: and I may be one For any thing I know: yet sure I am not Because methinks I speak; but and this speaking Should be but barking now: If I be a dog Heaven send me a better Master then the former. Ceres defend me, what strange Elves are there! Bow wow wow. Nay nay since you have made a sheep of my Brother I'll be a dog to keep him. Does not your Grace, most low and mighty Dorylas, Fear whipping now? I will ask leave Of the birds first. And owl? the bird of night; And owl That plainly shows that by to morrow night, shrieks. He may perform his promise. Why then I will conceal you. But your Grace Must think your Grace beholding to me. And thank the owl, she stood your friend. And for this time my witty Grace farewell. Your Grace is liberal: But now I fear I am not he that must interpret the Oracle. My brother will prevent me, to my grief I much suspect it, for this Dorylas A scarecrow cozened him most shamefully, Which makes me fear he's a more fool then I. I would have you to know The stilis, so I would, I am no dog, but mortal flesh and blood As you are. Slid, fetch and carry! Angry? why 'twould anger A dog indeed to be so used, a dog! I would not use a dog so: bid a dog That comes of a good house to fetch and carry! Discourteous! et him get dogs of his own, For I have God my neck out of the collar. Let him kennel's Oracles himself For Mopsus, if I start or spring him one I'll die the dogs death, and be hanged: mad fool! How? and grown wise! Shut up your doors then; Carduus Benedictus Or Dragon water may do good upon him. Mean I? what mean you To invite me to your house when it's infected? I, Amyntas has the Wits. And do you think I'll keep him company? Though, as I told you still, I am suspicious Iocastus is the man that must— It grieves me to think of it. That must interpret; I have cause to think (With sorrow be it spoken) he will prove The verier fool, but let him; yet now my Aug ry That never fails me, tells me certainly That I shall have thee, Thestylis, yet ere night; It was and owl— Adore him? Are there such Ruffian Gods in heaven as he? Such beggarly Deities? Heighday! well Thestylis, You may be glad your house is not infected; Heeesten times madder now then ere he was, To deify this rude ill-favoured Sylvan, This fellow with the beard all over: Thestylis, I dare not stay; unless my heals maintain My safety I shall turn a dog again. It signifies you bear the bell away, From all his Graces nobles. Bellwether of Knighthood, you shall bind me to you. Sure one of my progeny; tell me gracious brother, Was this Mellisonant Tingle tangle none Of old Actaeons hounds? How should I sir, my trees bear no such apples: The fame whereof rings loud. Four such knighthoods more Would make and excellent peal. But you must get a squirrel too. To ring your Knighthoods. To see the fruit that came of such and orchard! O by all means. No matter for deserving it or no; 'Tis fit he suffer for example sake. 'Tis fit he should offend. Ah Dorilas that I could not have the wit To have been a mad man rather then a fool. I have lost the credit. Shall I, Dorylas, I had as live interpret her as Oracles. Now, Thestylis, thou shalt mine Oracle be, Hence forth I will interpret none but thee. They say I must, whither you will or no. The birds do speak it plain. Dorilas with a quail pipe. Hark, Thestylis, the birds say so again. Will you be judged By next we meet? By Ceres, Thestylis, most willingly. Ah Dorilus, herd you what the birds did say? What said they boy? But Thestylis. No, Dorylas, I can teach her best in bed. And have I God thee? thanks my witty boy. Mad man I may, but will be fool no more. Gracious sister! Alas sir you were born to be a Queen. Partly I'll restore unto my liberal sister In leiw of my great Knighthood.