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Full speech
Hymen, thou God of union, with smooth brow Accept our pious Orgies. Thou that tiest Hearts in a knot, and linkest in sacred chains He presents Tyn darus and Evadne. The mutual souls of Lovers, may it please Thy Deity, to admit into the number Of thy chaste votaries this blessed pair. Mercy you Gods, the statue turns away. If there be A secret gilded in these that hath offended Thy mighty godhead, wilt thou please to prove He presents Pam phil. & Techmessa This other knot? The Statue turns again! What prodigies are these! Above this twenty years Have I attended on thy sacred Temple, Yet never saw thee so incensed, dread Hymen. Will thy godhead daigue These two the blessings of the genial sheet? He presents Pam philus and Evadne He beckons they. Provoke not Jove's just thunder. Hymen, we thank thee, and will crown thy head With all the glorious chaplets of the Spring, The firstborn kid, and fattest of our bullocks Shall bleed upon thy altars (if it be Lawful to sacrifice in blood to thee, That art the means to life) because thy provident mercy Prevented this incestuous match. Deign now Propitious looks to this more holy knot. This virgin offers up her untouched zone, And vows chaste love to Clinias. All joy to you. The fair Evadne too is come to hang Her maiden-girdle at thy sacred shrine, And vows her self constant to the embraces Of young Timarchus.—Happiness wait on both! Thus I conjoin you in religious bans. The generous Asotus and fair Phryne Present their vows unto thee, gracious Hymen. And I conclude the tie.
Plot summary
Plot — The Jealous Lovers
Simo lives an ascetic life so that his son Asotus will inherit a large fortune. Asotus asks for money now, and is given some. His tutor Ballio persuades him that it is vulgar to carry his own purse, and undertakes to do so for him. Tyndarus and Techmessa are both prone to jealousy of their respective lovers, Evadne and Pamphilus; Tyndarus even doubts Evadne’s chastity when she kisses him over-enthusiastically. Asotus tries to chat up Evadne, but she refuses him. He manages to purloin one of her ear-rings and, to avenge himself for the rebuff, shows it to Tyndarus, who reacts predictably. Ballio makes a play for Techmessa by encouraging her to think Pamphilus unwilling to defend her honour, and she charges him to take Pamphilus’ sword from him. He steals it from Pamphilus’ page while he is delivering letters to Techmessa, then tells her that he was given it by Pamphilus rather than rise to the provocation to fight. The page summons officers to arrest Ballio, and he confesses the ruse. Asotus also admits his slander of Evadne, and both are allowed to choose their own punishment; they elect to cudgel one another. Techmessa and Tyndarus decide to test their lovers: Tyndarus asks Pamphilus to woo Evadne, and Techmessa asks Evadne to respond to Tyndarus’ advances; the result confirms them in their jealousy, until the situation is explained. Techmessa’s mother Dipsas is keen to cross Evadne’s love, partly because she resents the fact that Evadne was brought up in her household despite being another man’s child, and partly because she fancies Tyndarus herself. When the pair are due to meet at Ballio’s house, Dipsas persuades Ballio to fill it with debauchees. This is easy enough, because Asotus keeps company there with poets, soldiers, and a courtesan, Phryne, whom he intends to marry. Eavesdropping on the revelry, Simo falls in love with Phryne himself, until Asotus forcefully persuades him to back off and contribute half his estate to Phryne’s marriage settlement. Tyndarus and Evadne are disconcerted by the roistering going on at the house, and Tyndarus rescues her from unwelcome advances. He asks her for sex by way of reward, and is rebuffed—then explains that this was another test. Pamphilus also arrives at the house, to meet Techmessa, but his presence triggers Tyndarus’ jealousy, while Evadne’s does the same for Techmessa when she arrives. Tyndarus and Techmessa agree on a ruse, and solicit the help of Ballio and Asotus: they will feign suicide and see how…