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Full speech
Your praise all tongues desire to speak: but some, Nay all I fear, for want of art grow dumb: The harp of Orpheus blushes for to sing, And sweet Amphions voice hath cracked a string. This is no goddess of the—Olympic hall For she nor Siren is nor Amphitrite. Nor is she Muse. Nor is she ofe of these That haunt the springs the beauteous Naiades. Nor bright Pomona the Orchards deity. O then prepare To hear her blessed name. Have you beheld the little fable beast Clad in and Ebon mantle, hight a flay, Whose supple joints so nimbly skip and caper From hem to sleeve, from sleeve to hem again, Dancing a measure over a Ladies smock, With motion quick, and courtly equipage? So trips fair Phryne over the flowery stage. Like the sweet gums that from Electar trees Distil, or honey of the labouring bees: Like morning Due that in a pleasant shower Drops pearls into the bosom of a flower; Cupid with acorn cups close by her fits, To snatch away the Nectar that she spits. I will sing thy praise In lines heroic. Perchance she may one of the Muses be, And then claim I a share for Poetry. Do not the ashes of deceased Poets Inspired with sacred fury, carol forth Enthusiastic raptures? Dost not hear they Sing mysteries, and talk of things concealed The rest of mortal judgements? Dost not see Apollo and the Muses every night Dance rings about their tombs? And 'twere the famous fount of Hyppocrene, I'de quaff it off all, though the great Apollo And all the Muses died for thirst, Bomolochus. Chase hence these showers, for since they both were dead, Tears will not bribe the fates for a new thread.
Plot summary
Plot — The Jealous Lovers
Simo lives an ascetic life so that his son Asotus will inherit a large fortune. Asotus asks for money now, and is given some. His tutor Ballio persuades him that it is vulgar to carry his own purse, and undertakes to do so for him. Tyndarus and Techmessa are both prone to jealousy of their respective lovers, Evadne and Pamphilus; Tyndarus even doubts Evadne’s chastity when she kisses him over-enthusiastically. Asotus tries to chat up Evadne, but she refuses him. He manages to purloin one of her ear-rings and, to avenge himself for the rebuff, shows it to Tyndarus, who reacts predictably. Ballio makes a play for Techmessa by encouraging her to think Pamphilus unwilling to defend her honour, and she charges him to take Pamphilus’ sword from him. He steals it from Pamphilus’ page while he is delivering letters to Techmessa, then tells her that he was given it by Pamphilus rather than rise to the provocation to fight. The page summons officers to arrest Ballio, and he confesses the ruse. Asotus also admits his slander of Evadne, and both are allowed to choose their own punishment; they elect to cudgel one another. Techmessa and Tyndarus decide to test their lovers: Tyndarus asks Pamphilus to woo Evadne, and Techmessa asks Evadne to respond to Tyndarus’ advances; the result confirms them in their jealousy, until the situation is explained. Techmessa’s mother Dipsas is keen to cross Evadne’s love, partly because she resents the fact that Evadne was brought up in her household despite being another man’s child, and partly because she fancies Tyndarus herself. When the pair are due to meet at Ballio’s house, Dipsas persuades Ballio to fill it with debauchees. This is easy enough, because Asotus keeps company there with poets, soldiers, and a courtesan, Phryne, whom he intends to marry. Eavesdropping on the revelry, Simo falls in love with Phryne himself, until Asotus forcefully persuades him to back off and contribute half his estate to Phryne’s marriage settlement. Tyndarus and Evadne are disconcerted by the roistering going on at the house, and Tyndarus rescues her from unwelcome advances. He asks her for sex by way of reward, and is rebuffed—then explains that this was another test. Pamphilus also arrives at the house, to meet Techmessa, but his presence triggers Tyndarus’ jealousy, while Evadne’s does the same for Techmessa when she arrives. Tyndarus and Techmessa agree on a ruse, and solicit the help of Ballio and Asotus: they will feign suicide and see how…