AMBIDEXTER

What & you run into the Corner of some pretty maid? Yea Gods pity, begin you to entreat me? Have at you once again by the mass I will Beatrice you. Oh the passion of God, I have done by mine honesty: I will take your part héeraster verily. Shake hands with me, I shake hands with Thee. You are full of courtesy, that is the best: And you take great pain, you are a mannerly gest. Why masters do you not know me? the truth to me tell: Why I am Ambidexter who many soldiers do love The honester man you, you may me trust. ¶ Enter Meretrix with a staff on her shoulder. Mistress Meretrix I thought not to see you here now. There is no remedy at meeting I must have a kiss: Oh the passion of God, be they here still or no? I durst not abide to see her heat them so. I may say to you I was in such a flight: Body of me I see the hear of my head stand upright. When I saw her so hard upon them lay on: Oh y e passio ̄ of God thought I, she will be with me anon I made no more a do but avoided the thrust: And to my legs began for to trust. And fell a laughing to my self when I was once gone: It is wisdom (quoth I) by the mass to save one. Then into this place I intended to trudge: Thinking to meet Sisamnes the Judge. Behold where he comes I will him meet: And Like a gentleman I mean him to greet Jesu master Sisamnes you are unwise. Jesu master Sisamnes with me you are well acquainted: By me rulers may be trimly painted. You are unwise if you take not time while you may: If you will not now when you would you shall have nay. What is he that of you dare make exclamation: Of your wrong dealing to make explication? Can you not play with both hands and turn with the wind? My Lord, and if your honour it shall please: I can inform you what is best for your ease. Let him alone of his deeds do not talk: Then by his side: you may quietly walk. After his death you shall be King: Then may you reform eke kind of thing. In the mean time live quietly, do not with him deal: So shall it redound much to your weal. Behold where the King doth come with his train. But hear you noble Prince, hark in you ear. It is best to do as I did declare. Are you gone? straight way I will follow you. How Like you now my masters? doth not this géer cotton? The proverb old is verified, soon ripe and soon rotten. He will not be quiet, till his Brother be killed: His delight is wholly to have his blood spilled. Marry Sir I told him a notable lie: If it were to do again man, I durst do it I. Marry when I had done, to it I durst not stand: Thereby you may perceive I use to play with eke hand. But how now Cousin Cutpurse with whom play you? Take heed for his hand is groping even now. Cousin take heed, if you do secretly grope: If you be taken Cousin, you must look through a rope. Oh the passion of God, yunder is a heavy Court: Some wéeps, some wails, and some make great sport. Lord Smirdis, by Cruelty and Murder is slave: But Jesus for want of him, how some do complain. If I should have had a thousand pound, I could not forbear weeping Now Jesus have his blessed soul in keeping. Ah, good Lord, to think on him, how it doth me grieve: I can not forbear weeping, you may me believe. Oh my heart, how my pulses do Beatrice: With sorrowful lamentations, I am in such a heat. Ah my heart, how for him it doth sorrow: Nay I have done in faith now, and God give you good morrow. Would, would, weep nay laugh, with both hands to play: The king througe his cruelty, hath made him away, But hath not he wrought, a most wicked deed: Because king after him he should not proceed. His own natural brother and having no more: To procure his death by violence soar. In spite because his brother should never be King: His heart being wicked consented to this thing. Now he hath no more Brother's nor kindred alive: If the King use this géer still, he cannot long thrive. Goodman Hob and goodman Lob, God be your speed. As you two towards market do walk: Of the Kings cruelty I did hear you talk. I insure you, he is a King most vile and parnitious: His doings and life are odious and vicious. So would I Lob and Hob with all my heart: Now with both hands, will you see me play my part? A you Whoreson traitorly Knaves: Hob and Lob out upon you slaves. Hob and Lob, a you country Patches: A you fools you have made wrong matches. You have spoken treason against the kings grace: For it I will accuse you before his face. Then for the same you shall be martered: At the least you shall be hanged, drawn and quartered: By the Mass I will cause them to make a fray. Yea Lob thou sayest true, all came through him. Oh no more, no more I beseech you heartily: Even now I yield, and give you the mastery. Oh the Passion of me, marry as you say, yonder is a royal court There is triumphing and sport upon sport. Such loyal Lords, with such Lordly exercise: Frequenting such pastime as they can devise. Running at tilt, Justing, with running at the King: Masking and mumming, with eke kind of thing, Such dancing, such singing, with musical hermony: Believe me I was loath to absent their company. But will you believe? Jesu what haste they made till they were married? Not for a Milio ̄ of pou ̄ ds one day longer they would have tarried O there was a banquet royal and superexelent: Thousands, and thousands at that banquet was spent. I muse of nothing but how they can be married so soon: I care not if I be married before to morrow at noon. If marriage be a thing that so may be had: How say you maid? to marry me will you be glad? Out of doubt I believe it is some excellent treasure: Else to the same belongs abundant pleasure. Yet with mine ears I have herd some say: That ever I was married, now cursed be the day. Those be they, that with curse wives be matched: That husband for hankes meat, of the ̄ is up snatched. Head broke with a bedstaf, face all to be scratched. Knave slave and villain, a coiled coat now and than: When ̄ the wife hath give ̄ it, she will say alas good man. Such were better unmarried my masters I trow: Then all their life after to be matched with a shrow. A proper man and also a fit. For the Kings estate to prepare a banquet. Well said goodman pouchmouth your reverence I see. I will teach you, if your manners no better be. A the slave, the king doth me a gentleman allow: Therefore I look, that to me you shall how. Why you stale counterly vaillain, nothing but Knave? Content, it is the thing that I would wish: I my self will go fetch on Dish. I will have them up again by and by. Have you no doubt but all shall be well: Marry Sir as you say, this geer doth excel. All things is in a readiness, when they come hither: The kings grace and the Queen both together. I beseech you my masters tell me is it not best: That I be so bold to bid a gest? He is as honest a man as ever spurred Cow: My Cousin cutpurse I mean, I beseech you judge you: Believe me Cousin if to be the Kings gest, you could be taken: I trust that offer would not be forsaken. But Cousin because to that office you are not Like to continued ̄ e: Frequent your exersises, a horn on your Thumb. A quick eye, a sharp knife, at hand a receiver: But then take heed Cousin you be a cleanly conuayour. Content your self Cousin, for this banquet you are unfit: When such as I at the same am not worthy to fit. They be at hand Sir with stick and fiddle: They can play a new dance called heigh diddle diddle. I ready am for to fulfil, if that it be your graces will. Then in this place, I will no longer stay: If that I durst, I would mourn your case: But alas, I dare not for fear of his grace. A, A, A. A, I cannot choose but weep for the Queen: Nothing but mourning now at the Court there is seen. O, o, my heart, my heart, O my bum will break: Very grief so torments me that scarce I can speak. Who could but weep for the lose of such a Lady? That can not I do, I swear by mine honesty. But Lord so the Ladies mourn crying a lack: Nothing is worn now but only black. I believe all cloth in walling street, to make gowns would not serve If I make a lie, the Devil let you starve. All Ladies mourn both yung and old: There is not one that weareth a points worth of Gold There is a sort for fear, for the King do pray: That would have him dead, by the mass I dare say. What a King was he that hath used such tyranny? He was a kin to Bishop Bonner, I think verily, For both their delights was to shed blood: But never intended to do any good. Cambyses put a Judge to death, that was a good deed: But to kill the yung Child was worse to proceed. To murder his Brother, and then his own wife: So help me God and holidom, it is pity of his life Hear you? I will lay twenty thousand pound: That the king him self doth die by some wound. He hath shed so much blood that his will be shed: If it come so to pass infaith then he is sped. How now noble King? pluck up your heart: What will you die, and from us depart? Speak to me, and you be alive: He cannot speak, but behold how with death he doth strive. Alas good King, alas he is gone, The Devil take me, if for him I make any moan. I did prognosticate of his end by the Masss: Like as I did say so is it come to pass. I will be gone, if I should be found here: That I should kill him it would appear. For fear with is death they do me charge: Farewell my masters I will go take barge. I mean to be packing now is the tide: Farewell my masters I will no longer abide. So now gramercy, I pray Thee be gone: Peace my masters you shall not fight: He that draws first I will him smite. What Marian may be good, are you come prattling? You may hap get a box on the ear, with your talking. If they had killed one another, I had not cared a peas: Farewell Small habilitis for help now get you none. Bribes hath corrupt him, good Laws to pollute: In deed as you say I have been absent a long space. But is not my cousin Cutpurse, w c you in y e mean time? To it, to it Cousin and do your office fine. How Like you Sisamnes for using of me? He played with both hands, but he sped ill favoredly. The King him self was godly up trained: He professed virtue, but I think it was feigned. He plays with both hands good deeds and ill: But it was no good deed, Praxaspes son for to kill. As he for the good deed, on the Judge was commended: For all his deeds else he is reprehended. The most evil disposed person, that ever was: All the state of his life he would not let pass. Some good deeds he will do, though they be but few: The Like things this tyrant Cambices doth show. No goodness from him, to none is exhibited: But still malediction, abroad is distributed. And yet you shall see in the rest of his raze: What infamy he will work against his own grace. Whist, no more words here comes the kings brother. And if it please your grace (Oh king) I heard him say: For your death unto the God, day and night he did pray. He would live so virtuously, and get him such a praise: That Fame by trump his endue deserts, his honour should up raise. He said your grace deserved had, the cursing of all men: That you should never after him, get any praise again. I think so if it please your grace, but I cannot tell: