COOMES

Sbloud, I do not Like the humour of these springa S, the l spend all their father's good at But let them trowle the bowls upon the green: He trowle the bowls in the Buttery, by the leave of God and master Barns: and his men be good fellows so it is, if they be not let them go snick up. I am easily persuaded boy. By your leave ho, how now young master how is't? Whope Hodge, were art thou man, where art thou? Who I, go to young master, I do not Like this humour in you give every man his do, and give him no more: say I was in such a case, go to 'tis the greatest indignam| cion that can be offered to a man: and but a men more God her given, you were able to make him swea e out his hear: blood, what though-that he ere or as some say, cut a feather: what though he be misled, band, or as it were 'tis no consequent to me: you know I have drunk all the A houses in dry, and laideth: tappes on the tables when I had done: I'll challenge all the true rob. pots , to leap up to the in a of beer, and if I can not drink it down to my foot ere I leave, and then set the in of the house, and then turn a good turn on the toe on it, let me be counted no bod e, a pingler, nay let me be bound to drink nothing but small beer seven years of ter, and I had as . I, I'll make him drunk and he will. 'Tis our Hodge, and I hinke he lies a sleep, you made him drunk at your house to ut I'll pepper so of you fort. Sbloud you shall take more then will do ye good, Or I'll make you clap under the table. Forsooth. This, no faith I have no mind to this, break my head if this break not if we come to any tough play, nay mistress I had a sword, I the flower of smithfield for a sword a right Fox I faith, with that & a man had come over with a smooth and a sharp stroke, it would have cried twang, & then when I had doubled my point, traste my ground, and had carried my buckler before me Like a garden ut, and then come in with a cross blow, & over the pick of his buckler two else long, it would have cried twang, twang, mettle, mettle: but a dog hath his day, 'tis gone, and there are few good ones made now, I see by this dearth of good swords, that dearth of sword and Buckler fight, begins to grow out, I am sorry for it, I shall never see good manhood again, if it be once gone, this poking fight of rapier and dagger will come up then then a man, a tall man, & a good sword and buckler man, will be spitted Like a Cat or a cun ney, then a boy will be as good as a man, unless the Lord show mercy unto us, well, I had as heaven be hanged as live to see that day, well mistress, what shall I do? what shall I do? Yes mistress I will strike her men, but God forbid, That ere Dick Coomes should be seen to strike a woman. Mankind, nay and she have any partly of a man, I'll strike her I warrant. Swones who would not be a man of valour to have such words of a Gentlewoman, one of their words are more to me then twenty of these russet coats Cheese cake; and buttermakers: well, I thank God I am none of these cowards, well and a man have any virtue in him, I see he shall be regarded. And angel mistress let me see, stand you on my left hand, and let the angel lie on my buckler on my right hand, for fear of losing, now here stand I to be temp ed, they say, every man hath two spirits attending on him, ey there good or bade, now I say a man hath no other spirits but either his wealth or his wife, now which is the better of them, why that is as they are used, for use neither of them well, and they are both nought, but this is a miracle to me, that gold that is heavy hath the upper, and a woman that is light doth soonest fallen, considering that light things a spire, and heavy things soonest go down, but lea e these considerations to sir John, they become a black coat bet ter then a blue, well mistress I had no mind to day to quarrel, but a woman is made to be a men seducer, you say quarrel. Then I cannot do amiss, the good angel goes with me. Do ye hear mistress, pray ye give me leave to talk two or three cold words with my young Master, hark you sir, ye are my Master's son, and so forth, and indeed I bear you some good will, partly for his sake, and partly for your own, and I do hope you do the Like to me, I should be sorry else: I must needs say you are a y ng man, and for mine own partly, I have seen the world, & I know what belongs to causes, & the experience that I have, I thank God I have traveled for it. Well sir, so it is, I would not wish you to marry with out my mistress consent. Nay, theres never a why, but there is a wherefore, I have known some have done the Like, & they have danced a Galliard at Beggars bush for it. You must breech him for it. Why then 'tis a fine world, when boys keep boys, and know not how to use them. Strike me, alas he were better strike his father, Sownes go to, put up your Bodkin. Go to, give me good words, or by Gods dines I'll buckle you, for all your bird-spit. They say men moil and toil for a poor living, so I moil and toil, & am living I thank God, in good time be it spoken, it had been better for me my mistress angel had been light, for then perhaps it had not led me into this darkness, well, the devil never blesses a man better, when he purses up angels by owlight, I ran through a hedge to take the boy but I stuck in the ditch, and lost the boy: swounds a plague on that clod, that Mowl-h l, that ditch, or what the devil so ere it were, for a man cannot see what it was, well, I would not for the prize of my sword & buck er, any body should see me in this taking for it would make me but cut off their legs for laughing at me, well, down I am, and down I mean to be, because I am uvea rye, but to tumble down thus, it was no partly of my meam ning, then since I am down, here isle rest me, and no man shall remove me. Whose that with a pox? Why I am Dick Coomes? What can I tell where I am? Is't you mistress that came over me, sbloud it a good deed to come over you for this nights work, I can not afford all this pains for and angel I tell you true a kiss were not cast away upon a good fellow, that hath deserved more that way hen a kiss, if your kindness would afford it him, What shall I have it mistress? Nay nay, never stand, shall I, shall I, nobody sees, say but I shall, and isle smack ye soundly I faith. To lewdness, no by my troth the no such matter in't, it is for kindness, & by my tro h if you Like my gentle offer, you shall have what courteously I can afford you. A kind wench I faith, where are ye mistress? Nay, isle grope sure, where are ye. Hodge. Here, A plague on this post, I would the Carpenter had been hanged that set it up so, where are ye now? How, whose that Nicholas? so first come first served, I am for him: how now proverb, proverb, sbloud how now proverb? What needest thou to care, whipper-jenny, Tripe cheeks, out you fat ass. Master hear him speak, he's a good wise young stripling, for his years I tell you, & perhaps may speak wiser then and elder body, therefore hear him. Swounds where he these timber turners, these trowle the bowls, these green men, these. These bowlers sir. Why I say they cannot be saved. Because they throw away their souls at every mark Well, which is the B as? Nay turn it this way, then the bowl goes true. Why rub? Nay boy Ivse to take the fairest of my play. In your father's Seller, the merriest place in th'house. Yes faith, t'is our custom when your father's men & we mere. By God I thank you sir, I thank you sir, by God I have a quart of Wine for you sir in any place of the world, there shall not a servingman in Berkshire fight better for you then I will do, if you have any quarrel in hand, you shall have the maidenhead of my new sword: I paid a quarters uva ges sor't by Jesus. Faith sir Like a poor man at service. Indeed so called by the vulgar. Oh sir, you have the most eloquenst ale in all he world, our blunt soil affords none such, Marry I thank you or my we good cheer, Oh Lord it is not so much worth, you see I am bold with you, Indeed you are not so bold as welcome, I pray ye come oftener, Truly I shall trouble you, all these ceremonies are dispatched between them, and they are gone. I before God are they. Because I was loath to change my game, You were at one sort of bowls, as I was at another, By God sirrah we tickled it. Let him alone, he's a springall, he knows not what belongs to and oath. Come, come, what do you protest? To crack my crown, I lay yea crown of that, Lay it down and you dare: Nay sbloud, isle venture a quarters wages of that, Crack my crown quoth a? Urge ye with a pox, who urges you? You might have said so much to a clown, Oh rone that had not been over the sea to see fashions, I have I tell you true, and I know what belongs to a man, Crack my crown and you can. Nay let him come, Though he be my Master's son, I am my Master's man, And a man is a man in any ground in England: Come, and he dare, a comes upon his death, I will no budge and inch: no sbloud will not, Hear me no hears Stand away, I'll trust none of you all, If I have my back against a Cart wheel, I would not care, if the devil came. Fool on your face, I have a wife, She's as honest as Nan Lawson. One of his whores. I as many as there be Churches in London. Now do I stand Like the George at Colbrooke: Boy you lie the horns. I'll hear him say so first. I thank you for it mistress, I thank you for it, And sword and Bucklers. How sir? Go to I pray, correct you boy, it never a good world, since a boy would face a man so, Do you hear sir, this is your boy? Why? What should I look for him? no, no, I look not for him while to morrow morning. Mistress because I brought you out, I'll bring you home but if I should follow, so he might have the law on his side. Where am I quoth a, marry I may be where any bo die will say I am, either in France or at Room, or at Jerusalem they may say I am, for I am not able to disprove them, be cause I cannot tell where I am. Why then Mistress lets go home. Sbloud take heed mistress heres a tree. Swounds some body spoke. I see the glimpes of some body here, And you be a sprite I'll fray the bug bear, There a goes mistress. Where have you been a whoring thus late, would? Sirrah, thou Grashoper, that shalt skip from my sword as from a Sith, I'll cut thee out in collops & eggs, in sleeks, in S ste beef, and fry thee with the fire, I shall strike from the pike of they Buckler. What say you sir? Do you not so sir? You whoreson Wafer-cake, by Gods dines isle crush ye for this. Do you hear, set down your Torch, draw, fight, I am for you. Where be your tools? Now am I in my quarreling humour, and now can I say nothing but sownes draw, but isle trus, & the ̄ have to it. So now my back hath room to reach, I do not love to be laced in, when I go to lace a rascal, I pray God Ni cholas prove not a fly: it would do me good to deal with a good man now, that we might have half a dozen good smart strokes, would I have seen the day, I could have danced in my fight, on, two, three four & five, ou the head of him six, seven, eight, nine & ten, on the sides of him, & if I went so far as fifteen, I warrant I showed him a trick of one and twenty: but I have not sought that S four days, & I lack a little practice of my war e, but I shall make a shift, would close, are you desposed sir? Change the gallows, I'll see thee handg first. Fool you Roge, nay then fallen to it. Sbloud how pursy I am, well I see exercise is all, I must practice my weapons oftener, I must have a goal or two at oote-ball, before I come to my right kind, give me thy hand Nicholas, thou art a better man then I took thee for, and yet thou art not so good a man as I. Why I hope thou wilt say I am a man. Hanged you Roge, nay then have at ye, swoons the light is gone. Come, come, a couple of whoremasters I found ye, and so I leave ye. Nay, a pound of care will not pay anownce of debt. Would my resolved Neck Frol go ene, fill the po e Hostess, swoons you whore, Harry Hook's a rascal: help me but carry my fellow Hodge in, and weel crush it I ith. Up to the middle in a pond. In a well man, nay then thou art deep in understanding, A whip sira, a whip: but sir provide your tools against to morrow morning 'tis somewhat dark now indeed, you know Dawsons close, between the hedge & the pond, 'tis good even ground, I'll meet you there, & I do not, call me cut, and you be a man show your self a man, weel have a bout or two, and so weel partly for that present. Here, oh I come, a plague on it, I am in a pond mistress. Well here I'll lie with my buckler thus, least strike king up and down at andall, the roge might hurt me, for I cannot see to save it, and I'll hold my peace, least my voice should bring that m where I am. Rascal, take that and take all, do you hear sir, I do not mean to pocket up this wrong. My master, go to, near tell me of my master, he may pray for them that may, he is passed it, and for mine own partly, I can do somewhat that way I thank God, I am not now to learn, and 'tis your partly to would your whole desire. ush, fe re not that, swones they must have Cats eyes then, Heeres so hoing with a plague, so hang and you will for I have been almost drowned, a pox of your lips, and you call this kissing: ye talk of a drowned Rat, but it time to swim Like a dog I had been served Like a drowned Cat else, I would he h worser didg his graven that dug the pond, my feet were foul indeed, but a less e pale then a pond would have served my turn to wash them: a man shall be served thus always, when he follows any of these females but 'tis my kind heart that makes me thus forward in kindness unto them, well God amend them, and make them thankful to them that would do the ̄ pleasure I am not drunk I would you should know it, and yet I have drunk more then will do me good, for I might have had a Pu pe set up, w h as good March Beer as this was, and never set up and Ale bush' for the matter: well I am somewhat in wrath I must needs say, and yet I am not more angry then wise, nor more wise then angry, but isle fight with the next man I mere, and it be but for luck sake, and if he love to see him self hurt, let him bring light with him, isle do it by darkling else by gods dines, well here will I walk whosoever says nay. Faith 'tis a pretty wench, and 'tis pity but she should have him. Dick Coomes?