CLOWN

'Tis very true and Like your majesty, though Raphe were once look for a proper man, yet when I came in place it appeared otherwise: if your highness note his leg and mine, there is ods, and for a foot, I dare compare, I have a wast to, and though I say it, that should not say it there are faces in place of Gods making. Rafe you have your answer, you may be gone, your only way to save charges, is to buy a halpenniwoorth of Hobnails for your shoes: Alas you might have looked into this before, go silly Rafe go, away, vanish. theile make you cut a feather one day, I was as they say coupled the same day that my country man Raphe begun the law: for to tell your Majesty the truth, we are yet both virgins, it did never freeze betwixt us two in a bed I as sure your grace. Never yet, but now your Majesty hath ended the matter I'll be so bold as take possession. But will your highness rob me of my spouse. Zounds, if ever I take you in Yorkshire for this. But do you hear Master, when I have served you a year or two, who shall pay me my wages? How now, Oh fates, Oh heavens, is not that my M. what shall I do, be valiant and rescue my sweet master, Avant thou Pagan, Pug, what ere thou be, Behold I come to set thy prisoner free. It yoor best course, down vassal dawn, and kiss My pump. Farewell master Braggart, farewell, farewell. How now, how now, but hear you Si . I'll be sworn of that, Somebody tickled me a heat, and that I felt, but Master, why do you go thus out of fashion; you are even a very hoddy doddy, all breech, And so is Nobodies man for all his whipping, but Master we are now in the City, walled about from slander, there can not a lie come in but it must run through brick, or get the goodwill of the warders, whose brown bills look blue upon all passengers. Zounds, isle nail thy lips to limbo unless thou kiss. Zounds if I say isle doet, isle doet indeed. I believe I have a bird in a box, shall catched you for all this. How say you by this master Somebody. I believe you will be found out by and by. Would, would, hath my master met with you. nay M. sicophant weel have the inside of your poc kets translated to, weel see what stuffing they have, I'll take a little pains with you. I'll make bold to see th'execution. O Master you are half hanged. Because you have and ill name: a man had as good almost serve no Master as serve you, I was carried afore the Constable but yesterday, and they took me up for a strauagant; they asked me whom I served, I told them Nobody, they presently drew me to the post, and there gave me the law of arms. Indeed if I serve Nobody, Nobody must pay me my uva ges, therefore I'll even seek out Somebody or other, to get me a new service; but the best is Master if you run away, you are easy to be found again. Marry ask a deaf man whom he hears, heel straight say Nobody, ask the blindest beetle that is whom he sees, and heel answer, Nobody, he that never saw in his life can see you, though you were as little as a moat, and he that never herd, can hear you, though you tread as soft lie as a Mouse, therefore I shall be sure never to lose you. Beside, you have one commodity Master, which none hath beside you, if you should love the most fickle & in constants wench that is in the world, sheele be true to No body, therefore constant to you. Master, I would wish you to leave the Country, and see what good entertainment you will have in the City, I do not think but there you will be most kindly respected, I have been there in my youth, there's Hospitality, & you talk of Hospitality, and they talk of you abomination to see: for there Master come to them as often as you will, four times a day, and theyle make Nobody drink, they love to have Nobody trouble them, and without good see curitie they will lend Nobody money. Come into Birchin Lane, theyle give Nobody a suit, choose where he list; go into Cheapeside, and Nobody may take up as much plate as he can carry. Oh Master, there I am sure Nobody may have any thing without money, Nobody may come out of the Tavern without pay king his reckoning at his pleasure. Of Nobodies making, that will be rare. Why Nobody receives them. You knave: or as the world goes, Somebody receives all, and Nobody is blamed for it. Do not you know that? theres not and orphans por cion lost out of the Chamber, but Nobody has God it, no Corn transported without warrant, but Nobody has done it, no goods stolen but by Nobody, no extortion without Nobody: and but that truth will come to light, few wenches God with child, but with Nobody. I think Somebody had a hand in't, but Nobody some times pays for the nursing of it. 'Tis a mad world Master. Here they be Sir. 'Tis great pity my Master has Nobody, and so kind a heart. Yes Master, I Nobodies man. My hearts lower then my hofe, for mine it at my heel, but wheresoever it is, it is a true heart, and so is not somb. Ey, as much law as their arms were able to lay on, they tickled my Collifodium, I rid post for a quarter of and hour, with switch though not with spur. I'll Fullom you for this. A couple of Asses indeed. My M. hath good cards, on his side I'll warrant him. Nay look you here, hears one that for his bones is prettily stuffed. Hears fulloms and gourds: heeres tall-men & low-men Here tray duce ace, passedge comes a pace. I know by your complexion you were ripe for the hang m n, but now to this lean Gentleman. Great reason you should come to the bar before the gallows. I'll teach you a trick for this i'faith. Mark the end of all this. I or else you shall hang for him, Oh my heart, that it was my fortune to hear all this, but beware a lucky man whllst you live, Alas if I had not rescued my master, the swaggering fellow would have made Nobody of him. Again if I had not overheard this treason to his person, these Conycatching knaves, would have made less then Nobody of him. For indeed they would have hanged him, but heeres my master, Oh sweet master how cheer you? 'Tis Like they bristle, for I am sure theile breed anger I think not so, for if I were a Lady, I should never abide you: but Master, I can tell you rare news you must be ap prehended, for a Cheater, a Cozener, a Libiller, and I know not what. 'tis true sir, it is one some. that would attach you, therefore Look to your self, but Mai. if you be took never fear, I herd all their knavery, and I can clear you I warrant. If I be not sir somebody is, but if I be guilty I must bear If off with head and shoulders. Oh rare, now shall I find out crab, some notable knavery Oh the fates, treason against my m. person, but I believe Somb. will pay fort, isle tickle your long wast for this i'faith, They may chance bring you as High as the Gallows.