GOODFELLOW

I am glad to see you in so pleasant vain; I hope we shall have a merry day on't. What? That pretty Stripling, that mad Pasty-crust, He rimeth best with lug or Pewter-can, And oft does quarrel with our honest Host For spiced Ale, that hisseth with a toste: But let these matters pass, I'll tell you news; Last night your brother and I fell flat out About and Argument we stiffly held Which service was best on horseback, or on foot: But what say you? He called me ass, but since one predicament Contains us both, I care not I'll not yield; You know he's learned, had I but so much, Idem make him fret, and stamp, and scratch his head; Do you but second me, isle vex him yet. Sirrah, make haste, run; My Captain called him, when I went to sleep. Ah poti maia sitis, how fast he Runs for the liquours sake; now thinks he, To stuff his guts with Huffcappe English Beer; But hear me Sir, lets walk in the Churchyard Until he comes again; for I must think My self of pro and con, whats to be done Against this lusty Younker; O he's here. Good morrow brother Garland, why did you Send Pasquill for me posting in such haste; What is my Sister sick, or your young son, Or some misfortune happened, that I know Not of as yet, unto your house or goods, Or ships at Sea: Speak, I am in suspense. What? do you fool me, flout me to my face; Is that for my good will? why then farewell. Yea for a Brewers horse, not for his man: O my rumbling guts do ache to think ont; A Can a draught, I never sawe't but once, And then I thought that man had burst his guts; His eyeballs started, as the strings were cracked; And though sometime I love to drink my pot, Strong drink should never more go down with me, Before i'de swill so much at such huge draughts; One civil glass or two, that warms my blood, It is enough, me thinks. Why? theres none but Calves Refuse good meat, or offered courtesies, No sir, not I, but by chance speak of them, As by the way you light upon their tongues. Now we are two to one, I care not. Sauf vostre grace, vous estes bien venuz. Perform your words, and then I swear, I will. Swear first, isle not believe you else. Why, hear you then; Admirandam canunt, said non credenda Poetae. You nam no language, bid me speak two words, And you would doo't, isle be iudgde by all Here present, if the wager be not won. I'll get a staff, the colours they are mine. I thank your greatness in conceit, I do enjoy them, and I rest content. I thank you M. Garland, your good word, Is ever pressed to do and honest man good, For my preferment think you would disburse A score of pounds; or so, Wertenberg come to that, Rather then I should fail. I thank God and friends, 'tis done; I have bethought me, you shall see ere long A Metamorphosis of me reformde. Call you it transformde; Transformde, reformde; or call it how you will: I do remember what I learnt at School In Ovid : O these verses made me whipte; In novam fert animus, mutatas dicere formas Corpora Dij caeptis, nam vos mutastis & illas, Aspirate meis. A match 'tis done, isle fit you presently; M. Garland will you see it performed? Why then, I have it by this time: since your mouth is clean; My noble Younker, wipe your nose with this; Sic fanciunt stulti, quos gloriam vexat inanis. What, though he made that verse, Those words were made before, he made them not; It well I happened on his inventions. Why so I did, that which sir Philip made, Is now grown old, and Like my Father's gown, Spun, weaude, and made, above fourscore years ago; But this I made is new: as fresh as May Or flowers in June, or eggs, but this day sprung, A plain case Younker: sir the gloves are mine Upon your honest word: forestoe you that, A merchants word, no price set down, isle have Them richly made, with gold and silken fringe. Italian, Spanish, English, Dutch, or French; Shark what you will, you shall not shark me out Of my stags leather gloves with Charlatan: Your Glover knows my hand M. Garland, To morrow morning early, Charlatan Goes for his gloves, look to the payment sir, Your honest words at stake; 'tis good I know, You'll keep it sure, a merchant break his word, His credits gone, no not for twice so much. I will and if I can. I can and will; not for nought; My learning cost me something; and my wit Works quick and nimbly, if ought be to be God, The Roman Consuls after victories, Did crown with Baize triumphant Conquerors. Set but a prize, auferre gloriam Infuseth spirit to a working brain, Why what you will. Garters? yea content. I want a pair; What gloves and garters too, I rose on the right side to day I am sure. Ere you can go to Flutterkins mine Host, And come again, or else isle lose two fauns, Or Beer, or Claret wine, or Spanish wine. No of English Beer. Agreed, begin. Yes. Iesuis. Soft, you are too hasty for a parish Priest, I am sure of your good word; five and six Are lost, are they nothing: tell rightly, tell on, And do your worst: some honest French man lend Me but one handsome word or two. I. Gods me, half out, but two words yet, Vostre. There,S one word more, humble, nay treshumble Serviteur, life of my life, 'tis out: Be it what it will, stand on thine even feet; Then gloves and garters both are quickly won. Then know I who must win. Younker, 'tis well; and your gloves too; Both gloves and garters, they are fairly won; Scratch not your head, its but a Jacobin At most; Come let us in to Flutterkins, A cup and toste will do me now no hurt. You shall not flinch, if that your cap be wool, You shall along; What, would you leave us so; Turned Micher, that were not tolerable. I will, then let us hence; I thank great Jove that blessed me so this day; How others speed, I bear the prize away. You are too hasty, spare me yet a while, And then isle fit you. Think you I cannot, am I such a fool? Why then give ear, take heed, & mark me well, You often watch to take me at the worst; But I'll bar that, I'll have no cunning trick. Fert animus ; my mind provokes me: Dij Coeptis aspirate meis : Ye gods Bless my proceedings: dicere, to speak Of: Corpora mutatas : Bodies change, In novam formas : to new shapes: nam vos Mutastis & illas : for you transformde Those bodies strangely; yea and altered soar Their shapes to that they never had before. Why, is't not right? And now sir, for our other argument, I'll not give of, before I am satisfied. It shall be pledgde. But what say you unto that Persian Prince That Beatrice the Turk with thirty thousand horse, Selim the first, the bloodiest Ottoman Of all his raze; who brought into the field Two hundred thousand strong of horse and foot. Yea, toot and spare not, it will be your own, Good drink breeds blood, & blood makes able men Well Younker, have I catched you. I am glad Of any thing, wherewith to stop your mouth. They scour the Country, bring rich booties in, While we lie starving here, they live at ease, Eat, drink and sleep. But where they are alone, all absolute: What they can do, against your self you proud. Was not the Seigneur proud, ons victory, Rejoicing much at his Hungarian spoils. Why how now Hans ? what Planet struck? quite mute, Or Bagge-pype-like, not speak before thou art full, Not one wise word; why, where is all thy mirth. Yet am I still for horse a Kingly fight. O finely mounted, what a pleasure 'tis A troop of brave Lancers, a stately show, Why? what was that? betwixt whom, what was there done Yet stay a while, and I'll wait on you home, I must needs hear and end of this discourse. Where was the General? what did he this while? Thats true sir, pray drink one cup to me, Deed I am dry. Well Younker well, I will with you dispense, I'll yield the foot the chief pre-eminence. Wilt please you sir to drink? Sir, heeres a Chair, Please you to fit and take Tobaccho with us. A little sir, one civil cup or two. I thank you both, for you have made me fine; These gloves and gartars they were quickly wone: Each day so set on work, I should be rich. Blessed be my Grandame brought me up at School Where I learnt wit, more then you thought I had. I am too big. Were I and Anabaptist, you might doo't, And witness for me that I were baptizde; But that I had i'th town where I was born, Ere eight days old, I do remember't yet. As well I swear, As the first smock that ere my Father wear. See, see how you are deceived, you thought I lyde, There's no such matter, altered is the case, As surely as I live, and walking in this place. As often as you will, you know the price; And for my skill I pass not, am not nice. Oh here he is, his guts they are so stuffed, With his fat liquour he can scarcely run. He's there by this? I saw him at the Ports, that Gentleman Is ats two men; takes boat, sits down at ease, And takes Tobacco, while they row him on, He keeps a bottle joust betwixt his legs, Drinks when he list, and so he sets it down. Thanks good mine Host, your wit would help me much For good conceits your wholesome guts have hatched, When sod in sack, your brains begin to flow. I'll warrant you sir, we did not mean to fail, To stay at home, and miss so good a feast, Ti's Christmas now, It comes but once a year; And when it comes, men say, it brings good cheer. Here's Flutterkin takes leisure, comes behind; Good man he sweats, his guts keep him so warm. But fear of fainting by the high way side, He hath provided to preserve his health; Brande-Wine a creuse, which he drinks out himself. Are you so nigh, I thought you had been lost: By your leave sir; I'll welcome here mine Host. So may I draw, and draw my self quite out: And striving to get more, lose that I have. Times are not now as they were erst, when you Did haunt the fields, and led a Soldiers life: Men had respect, and then were looked upon For their deserts; but now 'tis nothing so. Reward goes backward, honour on his head, And endue deserts are sleight regarded now: He that wants gold, seeks place, may stand aloof; Stand fast he that would rise, or else he falls; That now is should, which then was but free gift; Promotions fallen not, but are bought before; He that mounts now, he does not as of old; Rise by his virtues, but helped up with gold. Then was a time that soldiers were esteemed, And if they lived they had preferment sure, And those that died were well provided for; Then did men rise from meanest parentage By their deserts, to places of account, As some you nam'de, not born to any thing; Did raise their Fortune's to a great estate, And gave no bribes, did not one penny pay, To any cogging Claw-back Sycophant, And for deserts had freely what they had; For happy was that man, though near so great, That could do honour to a man of war, As those that served in France amongst those broils, And civil discords yet can testify, When that rich kingdom piteously torn All stained with gore, half marred with fire & sword What there was God, how much account was had Of them: when back they made their home return: When happy Bourbon God those lillies three; Began their peace: did end that misery. Why thats a comfort, far beyond compare This happy life cannot be paragonde, My own conceit hath rapt me from my self, Me thinks I am such one, my state is such, And how I fit by mine own fire side With my sweet wife, the life of my deer life, And tell my children, what I erst have seen To encourage them, to tread their Father's steps; To make them bold to banish servile fear. 'Tis heaven on earth; the minds and hearts content, A Kingdoms riches: can a man have more? Then Gods sweet peace: the love of Commonwealth; His minds desires and bodies perfect health. You want a fellow to my tother verse, Do you not.