LAXTON

See how 'tis furnished. He means not himself i'm sure. No not I sir. There good parts are so rare, there bade so common, I will have nought to do with any woman. Yonders the shop. Peace. I: she's a Gentlewoman born I can tell you, though it be her hard fortune now to shread Indian potherbs. And indeed the raising of the woman is the lifting up of the men head at all times, if one flourish, tother will bud as fast I warrant you. And you grope no better ith dark you may chance lie ith ditch when you're drunk. I will not deny but my credit may take up and ounce of pure smoke. O women are the bèst mincers. But it'll serve generally, Like the front of a new Almanac; as thus: Calculated for the meridian of Cooks wives, but generally for all Englishwomen. The pipe's in a good hand, and I wish mine always so. Oh pardon me sir, I understand no french. I pray be covered. Jack a pipe of rich smoke. Push, I warrant you:—come, how is't gallants? I thought 'twas good, you were grown so silent; you are Like those that love not to talk at victuals, though they make a worse noise i'the nose then a common fiddlers prentice, and discourse a whole Supper with snuffling;—I must speak a word with you anon. Puh, Puh. So, so. I protest I'm in extreme want of money, if you can supply me now with any means, you do me the greatest pleasure, next to the bounty of your love, as ever poor gen tleman tasted. Why it's but for want of opportunity thou knowest; I put her off with opportunity still: by this light I hate her, but for means to keep me in fashion with gallants; for what I take from her, I spend upon other wenches, bear her in hand still; she has wit enough to rob her husband, and I ways e nough to consume the money: why how now? what the chincough? Pox and thou dost, thou knowest I never use to fight with my friends, thou'l but lose thy labour in't. Jack Dapper! So well said: but is this of the same Tobacco mistress Gallipot? I wish it no better: this will serve to drink at my chamber. Not of this by my troth Gentlemen, I have sworn before you. Pardon me sweet Jack, I'm sorry I made such a rash oath, but foolish oaths must stand: where art going Jack. One feather, the fool's peculiar still. Fight, nine, ten Angles, good wench i'faith, and one that loves darkness well, she puts out a candle with the best tricks of any drugsters wife in England: but that which mads her I rail upon opportunity still, and take no notice on't. The other night she would needs led me into a room with a can dle in her hand to show me a naked picture, where no sooner entered but the candle was sent of and arrant: now I not inten ding to understand her, but Like a puny at the Inns of venery, called for another light innocently, thus reward I all her cun ning with simple mistaking. I know she cosens her husband to keep me, and I'll keep her honest, as long as I can, to make the poor man some partly of amends, and honest mind of a whooremaister, how think you amongst you, what a fresh pipe, draw in a third man. I dare the arrants critic in Tobacco To lay one fault vpon't. Mol which Mol. Prithee lets call her— Mol. Heart I would give but too much money to be nibbling with that wench, life, sh'as the Spirit of four great parishes, and a voice that will drown all the City, me thinks a brave Captain might get all his soldiers upon her, and never be beholding to a company of mile-end milk sops, if he could come on, and come off quick enough: Such a Moll were a maribone before and Italian, he would cry bona roba till his ribs were nothing but bone. I'll lay hard siege to her, money is that Aquam fortis, that eats into many a maidenhead, where the walls are flesh & blood I'll ever pierce through with a golden auguer. She slips from one company to another, Like a fat Eel between a Dutchma ̄ S fingers:—I'll watch my time for her. That were excellent, she might first cuckold the hus band and then make him do as much for the wife. Gallantly performed ifath Mol, and manfully, I love thee for ever fort, base rogue, had he offered but the least con ter-buffe, by this hand I was prepared for him. No nor so much by a yard and a handful London measure.. Yes and fit him bravely, I know thou canst Mol, it but and honest mistake through love, and I'll make amends fort any way, prithee sweet plump Mol, when shall thou and I go out a town together. Mass thats out a town indeed, thou hangest so many jests upon thy friends still. I mean honestly to Brainford, Stains or Beware. Nothing but be merry and lie together, I'll hire a coach with four horses. Nay push th'art such another kicking wench, prithee be kind and lets meet. Nay but appoint the place then, there's ten Angels in fair gold Mol, you see I do not trifle with you, do but say thou wilt meet me, and I'll have a coach ready for thee. O good gold,—the place sweet Mol. Somewhat near Holborne Mol. A match. The hour. That will be time enough to sup at Braineford. Remember three. Good wench I'faith. He's a good guest to'm, he deserves his board, He draws all the Gentlemen in a term time thither, Weel be your followers Jack, led the way, Look you by my faith the fool has fetherd his nest well. Coachman. There's a tester more, prithee driven thy coach to the hither end of Marybone park, a fit place for Mol to get in. I, its in our way thou knowest. Coachman. Are we fitted with good phrampell jades. May we safely take the upper hand of any coached vel vet cap or tuftaffety jacket, for they keep a vild swag gering in coaches now a days, the hie ways are stopped with them. Nay then they know their business, they need no more instructions. Fine Cerberus, that rogue will have the start of a thousand ones, for while others trot a foot, heel ride praun cing to hell upon a coach-horse. Stay, 'tis now about the Horse of her appointment, but yet I see her not, hark whats this, one, two three, three by the clock The clock striks three. at Savoy, this is the hour, and Grays-in fields the place, she swore she'ed meet me: would yonders two Inns a Court men with one wench, but thats not she, they walk towards Islington out of my way, I see none yet dressed Like her, I must look for a shag ruff, a freeze ierken, a shortsword, and a safeguard, or I get none: why Mol prithee make hast, or the Coachman will curse us anon. Ready, for what sir. I thought you mistook me sir, You seem to be some young barrister, I have no suit in law—all my land's sold I praise heaven for't; has rid me of much trouble, Whose this, Mol: honest Mol. Th'art admirably suited for the three pigeons at Brainford, I'll swear I knew thee not. No not here, we shall be spied efaith, the coach is bet ter, come. What wilt thou untruss a point Mol. How. (here's her pace, Hold Moll, Mistress Marry. Draw upon a woman, why what dost mean Mol? Hear me. I do repent me, hold, I do confess I have wronged thee Mol. I ask thee pardon. I yield both purse and body. Spare my life. Spoke Like a noble girl faith. Heart I think I fight with a familiar, or the Ghost of a fencer, Sh'has wounded me gallantly, call you this a lecherous voyage? Here's blood would have served me this seven year in broken heads and cut fingers, & it now runs all out together, pox athe three pigeons, I would the coach were here now to carry me to the Chirurgeons. Uds light the tide's against me, a pox of your Potti carishp: o for some glister to set him going; it's one of Her cules labours, to tread one of these City hens, because their cocks are still crowing over them; there's no turning tale here, I must on. Bless you sir. Have you any good pudding Tobacco sir? Zounes has she shown my letters. If I know hang me. What a pox means this riddling? Umh sir,—has she confessed it? If I let this iron cool call me slave, Do you hear, you dame Prudence? thinkest thou vile woman I'll take these blows and wink? Out impudence. You goatish slaves, No wild foul to cut up but mine? I'll have thee, Wertenberg thou more common Then and hospital, and more diseased.— So sir. Be Lady you touch me. Right sir. Well if I swallow this wrong, let her thank you: The money being paid sir, I am gone: Farewell, o women happy's he trusts none. Rarely, that wile By which the Serpent did the first woman beguile, Did ever since, all women's bosoms fill; You're apple eaters all, deceivers still. Do you hear? I must have a bout with your Poticariship, I must speak with you. In-faith gib, are you spitting, I'll cut your tail put cat for this, If I do not,— Slave? I would nothing to do with you, do you hear sir? Tush, tush sir, oaths, Truth yet I'm loath to vex vou,—tell you what; Make up the money I had and hundred pound, And take your belly full of her. I'll not bore one sixpence,—I'll mall you pusse for spitting. No. Hear me but speak sir, you shall find me none. The first hour that your wife was in my eye, My self with other Gentlemen sitting by, (In your shop) tasting smoke, and speech being used, That men who have fairest wives are most abused, And hardly escaped the horn, your wife maintained That only such spots in City dams were stained, Justly, but by men's slanders: for her own partly, She vowed that you had so much of her heart; No man by all his wit, by any wile, Never so fine spun, should your self be guile, Of what in her was yours. I scorned one woman, thus, should brave all men, And (which more vexed me) a shee-citizen. Therefore I laid siege to her, out she held, Gave many a brave repulse, and me compelled With shame to found retreat to my hight lust, Then seeing all base desires raked up in dust, And that to tempt her modest ears, I swore Near to prsumne again: she said, her eye Would ever give me welcome honestly, And (since I was a Gentleman) if it run low, She would my state relieve, not to overthrow Your own and hers: did so; then seeing I wrought Upon her meekness, me she set at nought, And yet to try if I could turn that tide, You see what stre me I strove with, but sir I swear By heaven, and by those Hope's men lay up there, I neither have, nor had a base intent To wrong your bed, what's done, is merriment: Your Gold I pay back with this interest, When I had most power to do't I wroug'd you least. I had rather stand sir. No? you shall.