DAMPIT

My sweet Theodorus ? And now worth ten thousand pound my Boy, re port it, Harry Dampit, a trampler of time, say, he would be up in a morning, and be here with his Serge Gown, dashed up to the hams in a cause, have his feet stink about Westminster hall and come home again, see the Galleouns, the Galleasses the great Armadas of the Law, then there be Hoys and petty vessels, Oars and Scullers of the time, there be pick locks of the Time too, then would I be here, I would tram ple up and down Like a Mule; now to the Judges, may it please your reverend—honourable fatherhoods: then to my Counsellor, may it please your worshipful patience, then to the examiners Office, may it please your Maistershippes Gen tlenesse, then to one of the Clerks, may it please your wor shipfull Lowzinesse, for I find him scrubbing in his cod piece, then to the hall again, then to the Chamber again; Even when thou wilt again; Tramplers of time, More tions of Fleetstreet, and Visions of Holborne, here I have fees of one, there I have fees of another, my clients come about me, the Fooli-aminy and Cocks-combri of the Country, I still trashed and trotted for other men's causes, thus was poor Har ry Dampit made rich by others laziness, who, though they would not follow their own Suits, I made e'm follow me with their purses. I, and I souc'st e'm with bills of Charges ifayth, twen tie pound a year have I brought in for boat-hire, and I never stepped into boat in my life. How now Audry -prater, with your skiruy devices, what say you now? I, Tramplers of time, Rascals of time, Bulbeg gars: When did I say my prayers? In Anno 88. when the great Armado was coming, and In Anno. 99. when the great Thundering and Lighting was I prayed heartily then i'faith, to overthrow Poouyes new buildings, I kneeled by my great iron chest I remember. Audry. So I am i'faith, and a fine Scholar, do you use to go to bed Bed, so early Audry? Why is't not one of Clock ith morning is not that early enough? fetch me a glass of fresh-Beere. Draw it on then—I am very weak truly, I have not eaten so much as the bulk of and Egg these 3. days. Whats that? I answer you I cannot, hold your prating, you prat too much, and understand too little, are you answered, —give me a glass of bear. How do I? i'faith nought. I eat not one pennort of bred these 2. years, give me a glass of fresh beer,—I am not sick, nor I am not well.— Faith thou hast more cunny catching devices then all London? Why was that? because I never did trust thee. Hold thy prating, I answer thee, thou art a beggar, a quean, and a bawd: are you answered. Why thou base drudge of infortunity, thou kitchen-stuff drab of Beggary, Roguery & cockscombre, thou Cavern said quean of foolery, knavery and baudreaminy, isle tell thee what, I will not give a louse for thy Fortune's: Rise, and go to bed too Audry ? how do's Misters Pro serpine? Fie vpon't, what a choice of stinks here is, what hast thou done Audry fie upon't, here's a choice of stinks indeed; give me a glass of fresh Beer, and then I will to bed: Trahe, traheto, draw the Curtain, give me a sip of Sack more. Fie, fie, proud? I cannot remember any such thing, sure I was drunk then. Farewell my bosom sir Lancelot. So sir. Hang him rascal. Pythagorical rascal. I he changes his cloak when he meets a Sergiant. A louse for his love, his father was a Combmaker, I have no need of his crawling love, he comes to have longer day, the superlative rascal: Who? my deer and kind Sir Lancelot ? the only Gen tleman of England, let me hug thee, farewell and a thousand. Another cup of Sack. One Cup more, and then let the Bell toale, I hope I shall be weak enough by that time. Is the Sack spouting. A cockscombry? where is he? let him approach, set me up a peg higher. Now goodman fooleaminy, what say you to me now What make you in my Chamber then? I meddle with no such matters, I refer e'm, to Master No-mans Office. Has he such feats? thy best course is to bring thy eiec tione firm, and in Seven year thou mayest shove him out by the Law. Hoyda, this gear will fadge well, hast no money, why then my advice is thou must set fire ath house & so get him out. Whose this master Hoard ! who hast thou married in the name of foolery. A Duch widow. Meddler she keeps open house. Theres to much for thee then, thou mayest let out some to thy Neighbours. Why thou Rogue of universality, do not I know thee? thy Found is Like the cuckowe, the welch Ambassador, thou cowardly slave that offers to fight with a sick man when his weapons down: rail upon me in my naked bed? why thou great Lucife's little vicar, I am not so weak but I know a knave at first sighed, thou Inconscionable Rascal, thou that goest upon middlesex Juries, and will make hast to give up thy verdict, be cause thou wilt not lose thy dinner, are you answered? Thou wouldst be hanged then. Let him come Gentlemen, I am armed, reach my Close stool hither. I, if I would either have thee or lie with thee for two thousand pound, would I might be damned, why thou base im pudent quean of foolery, flattery, and cockscombry, are you and sword? She's as fine a Philosipher of a stinkards wife, as any within the liberties,—fah, fah Audry: Foh, I think they burn horns in Barnard's Inn, if e ver I smelled such and abominable stink, usury forsake me: What? sir Tristram? you come and see a weak man here, a very weak man,— O, I have prayed too much poor man. Alas you come at and ill time, I cannot spare it ifayth, I would but two thousand ith house. O, my bosom sir Lancelot, how cheer I? thy pre sense is restorative: I am glad of that ifayth; —prithee what? There it ifayth, nothing but the pride of the Sack and so certify e'm, fetch Sack sirrah. Hang thy virginity, upon the pole of carnality. Out you gernatiue quean, the mullipood of villainy, the Spinner of concupiscency. Out you babliaminy, you vnfetherd cremitoryed quean, you cullisance of scabiofity. Sir Lancelot ? let me buss thee sir Lancelot, thou art the only friend that I honour and respect.