MISTRESS GLISTER

But old veins the best, believe not these great breecht gallants, they love for profit, not for affection, if a brings thee to a fools paradise, a will forsake thee. J pray lets have no polluted feet nor Rheumatic chaps enter the house, I shall have my flower look more gre sie shortly, then one of your Inn of Court dining Tables: and now to you good Niece I bend my speech, let me tell you plainly, you are a fool to be lovesick for any man, longer then he is in your company, are you so ignorant in the rules of Courtship, to think any one man to bear all the prick and praise? I tell thee, be he never so proper, there is and other to see cond him. No marvel sure you should regard these men with such reverend opinion, ther's few good faces, and fewer graces in any of them, if one among a multitude have a good pair of legs, he never leaves iding the ring, till he has quite marred the proportion: nay some (as I have herd) wanting lie niaments to their liking, and Calf to support themselves, are fain to use Art, and supply themselves with quilted Calum S, which oftentimes in Revelling fallen about their Ankles, and for their behaviour, wit and discourse (except some few that are traveled) it is as imperfectious and silly, as your Scholars new come from the University, by this light I think we lose partly of our happiness when we make these weathercocks our equals. Let them come in if their feet be clean. So then your best beloved is gone, fair weather after him; all thy passion go with him, recomfort thy self wench in a bet ter choice, his love to thee would have been of no longer con tinua ̄ ce then the untrussing of his hose, then why shouldst thou pine for such a one. I say you are a nynnyhammer, and beware the Cuckoe; for as sure as J have beware, isle traffic with the next Merchant venturer, and in good time here comes gallants of the right trade. Passing well: the colour is so good, that you shall wear my favour out o'the same piece. She is his Niece. Place it here my honest Club, well done: and how does thy mistress was she at the Family to day,— spit not good Club, J can not abide it. And I pre thee Club what kind of creatures are these Familists, thou art conversant with them. As how good Club ? Not then themselves Club. Bear your own? I marry there it goes, what must you bear? Your sins forsooth: confess to me, and go not a bout the bush, you have been doing thats flat, you have caught a clap, thats round, and answer me roundly to the point, or else isle square. Come whose act is't? I can not devise unless it be my husbands, for none else had access to thee; J am sure time has turned his bald side to thee, and I do but wonder how thou tookest opportunity: speak, tell me. Will you not boult, I must have't out on you, and will. Passion of my heart, what art thou? No, but a saucy knave J perceive by your manners. Whats your name sir? Order of knaves, I thought so, sirrah you're a Rascal to come thus bluntly into my house with your dirty Star tups, get you without doors Like a filthy fellow as you are, a place more fit for you. And whats your business here? From whence? Leave your scraping sirrah: fie how rank the knave smells of grease and Tapsdroppings. What are you Rheumatic too with a vengeance? Did ever such a peasant defile my floare, or breathe so near me: yfayth sirrah you would be bummed for your Roguery if you were well served. What and impudent Rogue is this: sirrah be gone I say, I would be rid o'you? What's here Your poor nurse Thomasine Sweed less for my life now shall I find out my husbands knavery, I have so long suspected. 'Tis so: Ratsbane: I hate, it rack's on it torments me here 'tis, — Woe worth the time that ever I gave suck to a Child that came in at the window God knows how villainous Lea cher; Yet if you did but see, how Like the little read headed knave is to his Father damnable Doctor : A Bastard in the Country, and and other towards here J am out of doubt, this is his woe ke. You are and Arrant Strumpet, Incest, fornication, abomination in my own house; intolerable; Oh for long nails to scratch out his Eyes. Out of my sighed quean, thou shalt to Bridewell —Oh, I shall be mad with rage. Hence you Slave. The Devil pay thee. But isle furnish him ere long if I live. Was ever woman so moved? but you shall be talked withal, and for mine old fornicator, he shall have't as hight as coals i'faith: heers stuff indeed! Come mynkes come, ther's Law for you both, have I found your knavery: if I wink at this, let me be stone blind, or stoned to death, bear this and bear all. No, thou hast been all this while in and Urinal, thou hast gone out of thy compass in women's waters, You're a con jurer (forsooth) and can rouse your Spirits into Circles, a you old Fornicator that ever I saw that read beard of thine; now could I rail against thy complexion. I think in my conscience the Trases & Caparison of Venus coach, are made o'red hairs which may be a true Emblem, that no flaxen stuff, or tan'd white-leather draws love Like them; J think thou manurd'st thy Chin with the droppings of Eggs and Muscadine, before it bristled: a shame take thee and thy Loadstone: but 'tis no mat ter, Master Placket the Parritor has cited you, and you shall answer it. Oh I am nettled, my patience is so prouoak't, that I must doff my modesty: what shall I do? if ye be honest gen tlemen, counsel me in my revenge, teach me what to do, make my Case your own. Oh master Lipsalue, I am not the first that has salne under that ensign: the no complexion more attractive in this time for Women, then gold and read beards: such men are all liver. True of thy flesh who knows not that? thy beard speaks for thee: I, J, thou liest by me Like a Stone, but abroad the art Like a stone horse you old Timelifter. Honest Club welcome, is this master Gerardines Trunk? he is gone then? Proof unanswerable master Doctor, the Nurse's Letter: let it be read, but first observe his countenance? it may be his blushing will bewray his gilded. This is logic. But tell me does she not endeavour to bring my Doctor of her side and Fraternity. Faith Mouse none that I know, more then and old woman that had lost her Cat, and came to you for a Spell in the recovery. Oh are you here sir, I have brought you a full bairn to glut your greedy appetite if you have any maw, feed here till you choke again: Now shall J see the whole Carcase of your knavery ripped up, if thou hast any grace, now will thy read beard turn white vpon't. Minion, Minion, coin no execuses; I grant dreams are deceitful, but a true judgement grounded upon know ledge never fails: what? have not I obseru worser the rising and falling of the blood, the coming and going of the count nance, your qualms, your vnlacings, your longings, most evi dent tokens, beside a more certain sign then all these too, you know't, I needs not speak it; nay I am as skilful in that point as my husband: I can tell you Aristotle speaks English enough to tell me these secrets: Body of me, so narrowly looked too, and yet fly out? well, I see maids will ha'te, in spite of Laws or locks that restrain them, they will open, do men what they can. I think the Rascal be humorous or drunk: well I will read the letter and send him packing, or else he will spew or do worse before me: fie on him, I think he will infect me with some filthy disease. This was your colour to keep her close, but what Cloak have you for hers and your own shame? What your own niece, your brother's daughter beside your bastard in the country? Nay master Doctor what say you to his own Niece that looks big upon him, and arrow that sticks for the upshot against all comers, which by his restraint of her, from master Gerardine and honest Gentleman that loved her, and upon that Colour from the sighed and intercourse of other men, must by all presumptions be his own Act. I apprehend you gentlemen: Lord how much bet ter are two heads then one, to make one large head?