LIPSALVE

In her smile deceitful. J, I, before supper, for when these women's bellies be full their bones will be soon at rest. Command silence then. In the name of God Amen. Know all men by these pre sense, that I Gerardine being strong of body, and perfect in sense. J put it in all my moveables, these following Legacies being paid. 'Tis done. Well, the Legacies, first I give to my Cousin Mistress Purge A fair large standing, whats this, Oh Cup; A fair large standing cup, with a close stool. I cry you mercy, a close cover 'tis, To mistress Doctor I give a fair Bodkin of gold, with two orient Pearls atten ding the same: All which are in my Trunk to be delivered to the keeping of Maria, In witness, &c. Is this your Will? A Courtier? nay by this flesh, J am clean fallen out with them, they have nothing proportionable. You may smell a man after a purgation indeed: Sir, 'tis she: Now for that same hath bruited you to be a man expert in negromancy, I would endeavour my self to you for ever, would you vouchsafe to let one of your Spirits bring Mistress Purge into some convenient place, where I might enjoy her: I have herd of the Like, can you perform this. I never traveled farther then thine eyes, My bruited journey was a happy project, To cast a mist before thy jealous gardyan, Who now suspectless, gives some hope attain My wished delight, before pursued in vain. Expostulate no more, grant me access, Or else isle travel to the wilderness. Is there nothing stirring at Court Shrimpe? Vanish boys, away, make hast, before Jove sheel be with us ere we can be provided for her. And in nothing but her death acceptable, Jle tell thee: ther's no creature more desirous of and honest name and worse keeps it, then a woman, Dost here, follow this song & if ever thou forsake thy Country for a wagtail, let me be whipped to death with ladies hearelaces. Valued worth, would would would! Why? she's but a woman, And they are windy turning veins, love light as chaff which when Our nourishing grains are winnowed from them, Unconstantly they fly at the least wind of passion A woman's eye, can turn it self with quick dexterity And in each wanton glass can comprehend Their sundry fancy suited to each fend tut their loves are all compact of levity even Like themselves, Nil muliere lenius. She'd move within thy orb, and thou in hers, blood she talk bawdy to her self: Guggin stand close ; Peace good Gudgin gape not so loud. I and ride to. Tut man outward appearance is no authentic instance of the inward desires, women have sharp falcon's eyes, and can soar aloft, but keep them Like Falcons from flesh and they soon stoop to a gawdy lure. To it with your hand and seal. And then fly blown in mine how dost thou do. The Rogation hath been long indeed: therefore we may salute as ceremoniously as Lawyers when they meet after a long vacation, who to renew the discontinud state Tale, they strech it out with such length, that while they greet before, their Clients kiss them behind. Faith weak and limber, weak and lymber: nothing but pride and double dealing, virtue is vices lackey; beggars suck Like Horse leeches at the heart of bounty, and loves theme so tyerd and spurgald, that he can be no longer ridden with honesty. Now we talk of love, I do know not far hence so good a subject for that humour, that if she would wear but the standing colour, and her things in fashion, our Ladies in the Court were but brown sugarcandy, as gross as grocery to her. A plague on you, would you so good a sent? for my life he's my Rival. True, the only commet of the City. What has she ministerd to thee then? No, no, she speaks pure devotion, she's impenetrable, no gold, or Oratory, no virtue in herbs, nor no physic will make her love. Come hither boy while I think on't. Adieu honest Gregorio, frequent my lodging, J have a Viol de Gambo and good Tobacco: Thou wilt do this feat boy? Away then bid him bring his measure with him: Ge rardine is traveled, and I must needs be cast into his mould: my flesh grows proud; and Maria's a sweet wench, &c. But yet I must not let fallen my suit with mistress Purge, least (Cede vam canti) my friend Gudgin join issue: I'll rather to my learned Doctor for a spell, for J have a fire in my liver, burns Like Hell. A discontent indeed Master Doctor, which to shake off, J must have you extend your Art to the utmost bounds: you Physician ̄ S are as good as false doors behind hangings to Ladies necessary uses: you know the very hour in which they have neither will to deny, nor wit to mistrust: faith now by the way, when are women most apt. He knows by his Art —in plain terms a certain Pothicaries wife. Now mistress Maria ward your self, if my strong hope fail not, I shall be with you to bring. Faith boy thats mine aim. I have shot fair and far off, but now I hope to hit the mark indeed. But where's the Sign? Thats a special thing to be observed. The Gemini, Oh I apprehend thee: that's because J am so Like Gerardine, would is't not so boy? 'Tis my vocation boy, we must never be weary of well doing, love's as proper to a Courtier, as preciseness to a Puri taken. Fly of, least she take thee for my familiar: Save thee sweet Maria, Nay wonder not (for thou thy self art wonder,) To see this unexpected gratulaion. Her passion overcomes her, 'tis the kindest soul: Oh excellent devise; it works, it works boy. Joy not too much, extremes are perilous. Mark how prettily in her rapture she harps upon Ge rardines travel, let thextasie have end for I am Gerardine. No, wit is infinite I spent some brain; Thy love did stretch my wit upon the Tenters I wear it sweet Maria but on high days, Preserve it from the tainting of the air, What should J say: 'tis in my tother hose. Fiends and furies: block that I am. Where? which way. Oh boy J am abused, gulled, disgraced, my credit's cracked. Oh I shall run beside my self. My brain is out of temper, what shall J do? Follow close boy, let him not see us. Fortune, devils turd i'thy teeth, isle turn no more o'thy wheel, Art is above thy might: what though my project with Mistress Maria failed, more ways to the wood then one, the variety in love. It is believed I am out of town, my door is oh pen, the hour is at hand, all things squard by the Doctors rule, and now I look for the Spirit to bring me warm comfort, to cloth my nakedness, and that is Mistress Purge, the cordial of a Familist, and come quickly good Spirit, or else my teeth will chatter for thee. The spirit appears: but he might have come sooner: I am num'd with cold, a shivering ague hath taken away my Courage. Will a not carry me with him to Hell? well I must ven ter: Clogmathos My Cue Garrazin. Garrazinos. Tes tetuphes. With any name saving the whip, isle no more of that conjuration a plague on't. How? a Spirit? I hope Spirits have no flesh and blood, & I am sure thou hast drawn blood out of my flesh with the spi rit of thy whip. Then shall we prove to be honest Gulls, and the Doctor and errant knave. A plague upon him for a Glister he has given our loves a suppositar with a Recombentibus—I'll tell thee sirrah. Agreed, we'll Cuckold him, that he shall not be able to put his head in at's doors, and make his precise puritanical, & peculiar Punk his Pothicaries drug there, a known Cocka trice to the world. Come let us in, and cover both our shames? This Conjuration to the world's a novelty, Gallants turned Spirits and whipped for Lechery. Good wag faith, thou smellst somewhat of a Courtier, though thy Mother was a Citizens wife, Off with that filthy great Band, nay quick, on with your robe of sanctity; nay sud denly man. Tut man the name of a gallant is more hateful to them, then the sighed of a Corner Cap, hadst thou herd the prote stations the wife of a bellowsmender made but yesternight, a gainst Gallants, thou hadst for ever abjured Crimson bree ches. She swore that all Gallants, were persons inferior to bellowsmenders, for the trade of Bellowsmaking was very a riall & high, And what were men and women but bellows, for they take wind in at one place, and do evaporate at anon there; evaporate was her very phrase. Nay she proves farther, that all men receive their being chiefly from bellows, without which the fire burns not, without fire the pot seethes not, the pot not seething, powdered Beef is not to be eaten, of which she then averred our nation was a great devourer, and without which they could neither fight for their Country abroad, nor get children at home: For said she, powdered beef is a great joiner of nerves toga there. Marry, that I thought a Bawd was a greater joiner of nerves together, then powdered beef, with that she protested, that a Bawd was and instrument of the Devil, and as she had proved that bellowsmakers were of Gods trade, foe Bawds were of the devils trade: For (and thereupon she blue her Nose) the devil and Bawds did both live by the sins of the people. What are we bound unto, during the time we remain in the Family. We shall with much diligence observe it. Our Hope's are crossed, sure the some providence Which countermands libidinous appetites, For what we most intend, is counterchecked By strange and unexpected accidents: For by disguise procuring full access, Nay ready to have feared thexpected prize The candle out, steps betwixt my Hope's and me Some pleasant Groin, possessed and full enjoyed That sweet, for which our vigila ̄ to eyes have watched And in one moment frustrates all our Hope's. A begins very pitifully. This is a charitable request and surely would pass the lower House. Oh most true Master Purge, little knows a man what Ele ments a is to pass, when a puts his head under a woman's girdle: your passion Master Purge is over herd, and (plain tale to tell) we were eye witnesses of your wives treachery, and if needs be will be ready to depose as much. Conceal the Ring, my little Purge, let not thy wife know thou hast it, until she comes to her trial. It must be so: let the sumner tickle her, you shall bring in these allegations and let us alone to swear them; who's this Master Dryfat? Opportunely met sir, and whither so fast? The news, the news? Oh the getting of his niece with child, tut thats appa rantly known to all the company, but in the name of Jupiter what art thou? or from whence camest thou? As the devil would, we have (my noble Partor) instant, employment for thee; A gray groat is to be purchased without sneaking my little Sum ̄ ner, where's thy Quorum nomina my ho nest Placket? All alone mistress Glister? meditating who shall be your next child's Father. Why you are in the common road of revenge, take which hand you will, you cannot go out o'your way; 'tis as soon taken, as Time by his forepart. You say true mistress Glister, the help required in graf ting and how happily we come to tender our service: let our pretence be to take physic of the Doctor: and that he may with as much ease minister to us, as we to you, we'll take a lodging in his house. Excellent, excellent, now shall we be revenged for the whipping; mistress Glister let me be your first man? How ill advised were you to marry one with a read beard? Yes, they are honest too (in some kind) for theyle beg before they'll steal. Oh master Doctor, your salutation is very suspicious? It can scarce be hearty, for physicians are rather glad to see men ill, then well. Oh no sir, we have no obstructions in those parts, we are lose enough there. Shall we entreat your favour? Mountybank you're a rascal, and we will cast about to be revenged. Observe? Now if I list will I love no more Nor longer wait upon a gill. Since every place now yields a wench If one will not another will ; And if what I have herd be true Then young and old, and all will do : How dost thou Like this? man. Then speak pitifully, look scurvily, and dissemble cunningly, and we shall quickly prove two of the fraternity Benediction and Sanctity; love and Charity : fallen on Mistress Purge, Sister of the family. Excellent i'faith after your wife Purge : Read Placket thy quorum nomina my noble groat monger. Alas, we are not in case to answer largely, but if you will have our evidence in brief, I think I kissed her at the Fa mily some three times; once at coming, once at going, and once in the midst, otherwise never knew her disho nestlie. Women's smiles are more of custom then of cur tesy, women are creatures, their hearts and they are full of holes, apt to receive but not retain affection; Thou wilt to morrow thou saift be gone, if thou wilt know the worst of a Countries marry before thou goest, for if thou canst endure a cursed wife, never care what company thou comest in. Let every man his humour have, I do at none re pine, J never regard whose wench J kiss, nor who does the Like by mine: the indifferent minds I hold still best, what ever does befall, For she that will do with me and thee, will be a wench for all; and how goes the squares. Come, our hands are testimonies to thy folly's, shall's now to supper, we'll have a health go round to thy voyage. J, I fear she takes too much of that Lectuary to stoop to love, it keeps her body soluble from sin, she is not troubled with carnal crudities, nor the binding of the flesh. Jndefatigable boy, indefatigable. The Courts gall, the Cities plague, and Europa's Sea form be his perpetual Crest, what ere a was. To lose Mistress Purge for lack of dexterity, is a disgrace insalueable. The Like opportunity will never present it self. Agreed, but what melancholy sir with a crostick arms now comes from the Family? Why disease to bachelors, and plagues to married men. Sits there a commission Dryfat ? Now for the love of lechery, lets have mistress Purge summoned, thither? Content · Too her Placket But see for the bri berry of twelve pence you strike her not out of your Quorum nomina. He tells you true mistress Glister, the Doctor hath made you ordinary in our Ordinaries, Satires whet their tooths, and steep rods in piss, Epigrams lie in Poetries pickle and we shall have rhyme out of all reason against you. By youths: why I tell thee we saw Sampson, and J hope t'is not for youths to play Sampson : Believe it we saw Sampson bear the Town gates on his neck, from the lower to the upper stage, with that life and admirable accord, that it shall never be equaled (unless the whole new livery of Por ters set their shoulders) Do give and grant to Maria Glister : Daughter of John Glister, and Niece to Docter Glister Physician, all my leases, lands, Chattels, goods and moveables whatsoever: This is stark nought, you cannot give away your moveables, for Mistress Doctor and Mistress Purge, claim both shares in your moveables by reason of their legacies. Not I: I am too shallow to found her, she's out of my Element, if I show passion, and discourse of love to his, she tells me I am wide from the right scope, she says she has and other Object, and aims at a better Love then mine. Boy I have sped my Saint. Art ready? Now dissolve and each to his occasion, till to morrow morning.