GERARDINE

Lets here that worthy song Gentle master Lipsalue. Peace lets draw never the window and listen if we may hear her. Why then Huguenot women are admirable And gells. My loves chased smile to all the world does speak his spotless innocence. From a play, where we saw most excellent Sampson excel the whole world in gate carrying. Before supper I beseech you. Is't possible sir, my disguise should so much fool your knowledge? how, a Northern Landlord? can you think J get my living by a bell and a Clackdish? Why 'tis to answer a venerial Crime, for having car nall copulation with others beside your husband. By name Placket, By trade a parator? If you fail your appearance, the penalty must fallen heavy. Excellent excellent, by this they are at hand; lets bear these things Like our selves; I'll withdraw and put on my habi liments and then enter for the Doctor. No more no more, This is the chamber which Confines my love, This is the Abstract of the spacious world, Within it holds a Iemm, so rich so rare That Art or nature never yet could set A valued prize to her in valued worth. Come merry gallants, will you associate me to my Cousin Purges the Potticaries, and take partly of my parting feasts to night. Do so good Master Lypsalue. 'Tis. I pray gentlemen put to your hands. Mistress Glister, I have found you always more flex ible to understand the estate of a poor gentleman, then your husband was willing, therefore I have thought it a point of charity to reveal the wrongs you sustained by your husbands looseness. Let me tell you in private, that the Doctor cuckolds Purgo oftener then he visits one of his patients: what a spares from you, a spends lavishly on his: These Pothicaries are a kind of panders, look to it, if a keep Maria long close, it is for some lascivious end of his own. Thar't in the right sweet wench more of that vain; The devil you are. Oh monstrous! this is a foul Blot in your Tables in deed. My deer Maria be Comforted in this? the frame of heaven shall sooner seize to move, bright Phaebus Steeds leave their diurnal raze and all that is forsake their natural being Ere I forget thy love. Thy ever vowed servant Gerardine. I would most loved Maria. T'auoyd suspicious eyes, I come deer love To take my last farewell, fitting this hour which nor bright day will claim nor pitchy night And hour fit to partly conjoined souls, Since that my native soil will not afford My wished and best content, I will forsake it And prove more strange to it then it to me. In times swift course all things shall find event Be it good or ill, & destinies do grant That most preposterous courses often gain, What labour and direct proceedings miss. Let first blessed life forsake me, be constant My absence may procure thy more enlarge and then — Oh perfection of women! A plague of such perfectio ̄ , How she woes, by negatives shows She's truly virtuous. Tut, these Doctors have tricks, your niceness is such, that you can endure no polluted shows in your house, take heed least a make you a Bawd before your time, look to it. Of which consort you two are grounds, one touches the Base, and the other tickles the minikin. But to our cheer, come gentles let's away, The Roastmeat's in consumption by our stay. Stay sweet Maria, I bring thee ample joy To check that sudden fear, let thy sweet heart That constant seat of thy affection, Repay that blood exhausted from thy veins; Fear not sweet wench? I am no apparition, But the firm substance of thy truest friend, Knowest thou me now? That cruelty gives fuel to desire, For love suppressed fares Like a raging fire which burns all obstacles that stop his course, And mounts aloft; the Ocean in his source May easier hide himself, and be confynd, Then Love can be obscured; For in the mind, She holds her seat, and through that heavenly essence, Is near, when far remote; her virtual presence, Fills (Like the Air) all places, gives delight, Hope in despair and heart, gainst fell despite. That worst of men thy cruel gardyan may Keep down a while, but cannot dissipate what heaven hath joined, for fate and providence, Gave me this Stratagem, to let him know, That Love will creep, where 'tis restrained to go. Ingenious Spirit, true Oracle of love, Thou hast prevented me, this was my plot, Whose end and scope I long to imitate, With accents free, and uncontrolled with fear, Do's opportunity stand fair? Then I'll retire, We must be cautilous. The coast is clear, and Argus wakeful eyes Securely sleep: time turns to us his front; Come sweet Maria of the auspicious hours Lets take advantage. That Trunk confines this Chest, this Chest contains the unbounded speculation of our love Incomprehensible: Grief, joy, hope, and fears (Affections of my mind) are Like the spheres, Which in their jarring motions do agree, Through the influence of loves sweet harmony. They are. Thou argu'st well Maria : and this withal That Bruits, nor Animals do prove a thrall To such servility: souls that are wards To gold opinion, or the undue regards Of broking men, wolves that in sheepskin bans, Pray on the hearts to join the unwilling hands, Ruin fair Stocks, when generous houses die, Or propagate their name with Bastardy. I'll suck these accents, let our breathes engender A generation of such pleasing sounds, To interchange delights: Oh my blood's on fire, Sweet let me give more scope to true desire. Tut words are wind thought vnreduct to Art, Is but and Embrion in the truest sense. Here me exemplify loves Latin word Together with thy self As thus: hearts joined Amore : take A from thence, Then more is the perfect moral sense, Plural in manners, which in thee do shine Saintlike, immortal, spotless and divine. Take m away, over in beauty's name, Craves and eternal Trophy to thy fame, Lastly take oh, in re stands all my rest, which I in Chaucer style do term a jest. So when men come behind, do women say. I thats the word indeed, Men that come bold before, are Like to speed. But who comes here? monstrum horrendum, my nostrils have the rank sent of knavery, Maria lets remove our selves to the window, and observe this piece of men flesh. Ask if he strained not hard for that same project. Then is't Like to shrink in the wetting. Now dost thou put him toot, More Tenters for his wit, he's Nonplus quite So shall J bear my prisonment with pleasure, Look thou but big or cruel, foe will yield, And give to Hymen the honour of the field. What heavenly breath of Phitonessaes pour (That raised the dead corpses of her friend to life) Prevails no less on me, for even this urn (The figure of my sadder Requiem ) Gives up my bones, my love, my life, and all To her, that gives me freedom in my thrall. Love salves that fault, let time our gilded reveal, I'll near deny my Deed, my hand, and Seal. The Elements shall lose their ancient force; Water and earth suppress the fire and Air, Nature in all use, a preposterous course, Each kind forget his likeness to repair, Before isle falsify my faith to thee. These words are odours in the sacred shrine Of Loves best deity: the marriage God Longs to perform these ceremonious rites, Which terminate our Hope's; till mine grow full I'll use that intercourse amongst my friends, That erst I did: then in the hight of joy, I'll come to challenge interest in my boy. Till then farewell. Doubt not of that; Why by begging sir, know you me now? Master Dryfat, shall I repose some trust in you, will you lay by a while your Cities precise humour, will you not de ceiue me? And I say thou shall die a true Citizen, if thou conceal it: And thus in brief, It stands with thy knowledge how seri ously I have (and do still affect Maria : Now sir, I have so wrought it, that if thou couldst procure me a fellow, that could serve in stead of a Crier, I my self would play Placket the Parritor, and summon Doctor Glister and Maria to appear at thy house, and as he plays the Parritor, so wouldst thou but assume the shape of a Proctor, I should have the wench, thou the credit, and the whole City occasion of discourse this Nine days. Upon and accusation, that Doctor Glister should get Maria his Niece with child, and have Bastards in the Cuntery which I have a trick to make probable. Refer that to me, I say, be that my care, all shall end in merriment, and no disgrace touch either of their reputations. Oh my most precious Dryfat, may none of thy daughters prove vessels with foul bungholes, or none of thy Sons hogsheads, but all true and honourable Drifats Like thy self. Thats most likely, for J hold most of their principles already: I never rail nor calumniate any man, but in love and charity; I never cousin any man for any ill will I bear him, but in love and charity to my self: I never make my neigh bor a Cuckold for any hate or malice I bear him, but in love and charity to his wife. Be that the time, most honoured Dryfat, but be this known to none, most loved sir, save Club, or to some other whom your judgement shall select, as a fit person for our project. Maria, thou art mine: earth's affection and nature's glory, woman of what and excellency, if her thoughts and acts were squard and leveled with the fi st celsitude of her creation: Enjoy a creature, whose disheueld locks, Like gems against the repercussive Sun, Gives light and splendour whose starlike eyes Attract more gazar loves to see them move Then the Tartarians God, when first Egeons Hill Amounts in triumph, a skin more pure and soft, Then is the silkworm bed, to the more white Then newfalne Snow, or shining Ivory, Is happiness sought by the Gods themselves, Celestial Venus born without a mother, Be thou probitious, thee and I implore Not vulgar Venus, Heavens scorn and Mars his whore. By your leave mistress. None of that Livery neither: I am of the bearing trade forsooth, you may see by my Smock—frock I would say: I am (if it please you) of the spick & span new set up Company of Por ters, Here's my Breast plate, and beside our own Arms we have the arms of the City to help us in our burdens, Ecce signum : here's the Cross, and the sword of Justice in good Pewter, J can tell you which goes as currant with us as better mettle. Nicholas Nebulo ther's but a straws breadth between that and the Arms, 'tis in the back side of the Cross here, & well known in the City for and ancient name, and and honest an't Like your worship. No forsooth but one of the 24. Oh good words mistress; I may be warden of my come pany for ought you know and for my bluntness we have a clause in our Charter to warrant that for as we bear, so Like wise we may be born with, and have free egress and regress where our business lies. I have a letter an't please you to master Doctor. That I cannot show your Worship, but I had it of Cur tal the Carrier whose lawful deputy I am. Coughs and spits. Yes indeed mistress, though I be but a poor man, I have a spice of the gentleman in me, Master Doctor could smell it quickly, by cause he's a gentleman himself; I must to the diet and that is Tobacco at the Alehouse, J use n'other phi sick for it. I am bum'd well enough already Mistress, look here else; surreverence in your worship, master Doctors lips are not made of better stuff. Be rid o'me? I shall gallop then: you mistake me forsooth I am a footpost, I do not use to ride. Or else I lose mine aim. She begins to nibble, 'twill take i'faith—mistress I see some discontentment in your looks, Care ill befits so delicate a spirit. Be frolic wench for he that is so near thee has been much nearer? No more, be mute; thus must I vary forms To bring our Cares to end her Jealousy, Ensues this Dryft, which if it take true scope, Loves joy comes next be fearless in that hope: Then you shall go to Bedlam. I must have a penny, you must pay me for my pains. Oh thats the Doctor, but he wants his horns. It works as I would wish, farewell Maria, This storm once passed, fair weather ever after. This shape of the Crier, must Club to morrow assume: Are you fitted for Popin the Proctor? How long is that? And how long is that? Why sir? I come from compassing the corners of the Land. Of the devils trade, for J live as he does, by the sins of the people, Jn brief sir, I am Placket the Paritor. To the Commissioners, which fit to morrow at mai ster Dryfats upon the crimes of Doctor Glister and others. She makes my Quorum nomina reasonable full my grant Sir and she shall appear there upon a crime of con cupiscence, Js not that your meaning? Fear not sir. Your name I take to be mistress Purge fair gen tlewoman. I cite you by virtue of my Quorum nomina to make your personal appearance by eight of the clock in the morrow morning, before certain commissioners at master Dryfats House to answer to and accusation of a crime of concupiscence? Silence, the first that marches in this fair rank is, Thum the feltmaker, for getting his maid with child and sen ding his prentice to Bridewell for the fact, whip the Bedel, for letting a punk escape for a nights lodging, and bribe of ten groats, Batt the belman, for lying with a wench in a Tailors stall at midnight when a should be performing his office. Thus have J passed the Round and Court of Guard, Without the word: either conceit is strong, Or else the Body where true loves confined, Walks as a Spirit, and does force his way Through greatest dangers frightful to those eyes, That wait to intercept him: Maria? How Like to Cynthia in her silver Orb She seems to me, attended by loves Lamp Whose mutual Jnfluence, and souls sympathy Does show, heavens model in mortality Infinity of Love Holds no proportion with Arithmetic. Think not Maria but my heart retains A deep impression of such thoughts as these: I have been forging of a myrthfull Plot, To celebrate our wished Conjunction; Which now digested, come to summon thee To be and Actress in the Comedy. At Dryfats house the Merchant, ther's our Scene, Whose sequel (if I fail not in intent,) Shall answer our desires, and each content: But when sawest thou Lipsalue and Gudgin our two gallants? No matter, he serves them in their kind, they were in famous in the Court & now are grown as notorious in the Ci ty: they may happily prove particles in our sport, & fit subjects for laughter: Time calls me hence, adieu, prepare to meet. How now lads do's our Conceit cotton, would you sum mond your wits from wool gathering? Are you frought with matter for this merriment? As how? Good day to all at once, and peace amongst you: fie how I sweat, J think Vulcan never toiled so at his Anvil, as J have done, and all to make maids water to slake Cupid's fire, and to turn his shafts from the featherbed to the bed post, from the heart to the heel: Come master Poppin shall we to this gear? And remembering, and remembering master Poppin: leave your alegories, your metaphors, and Circumlocutions, and to the point? Who is her accuser? Byrlady these Enormities must and shall be redressed, otherwise I see their Charter will be infringd, and their An cient Staff of government the Club (from whence we de rive our law of Castigation) this club I say (they seeming no thlng less then men by their forepart) will be turned upon their own heads. Speak Rebecca Purge art thou one of this fami lie? hast thou ever known the body of any man there, or else where Concupiscentically? How say you to this master Purge, your witness is weak, and surreverence on, without sounder proof, they may depart to the close stool whence they came, and you to your Pothicaries shop. This alters the Case clean, what starting hold would you now mistress Purge ? Master Purge J see you have spent your pith; therefore best make a full point at the ring, and attend our pleasure, mai ster Exigent proceed to the rest? Who is his accuser? What proof of that? Now by this light, I thought it had indeed, but I see 'tis but the reflection of his beard, Read the Letter Master Exigent? Why the partly a confession: the child we know is innocent and not new born neither: for it should seem by the letter he is able to call his dad, knave. Summa totalis, a good Audit, would you made master Exi gent : now attend my Arbitterment: For you Gallants though you have incurd the danger of the Law, by using counter fetched keys, and putting your hands into the wrong pocket; yet because I see you punished and purged already, my advise is, that you learn the A.B.C. of better manners, go back and tell how you have been used in the City, and being thus scoured keep your selves clean, and the bed undefiled. For you Master Purge, because I see your Evidence insufficient, and indeed too weak to foil your wives uprightness, and seeing Jealousy and unkindness, hath only made her a stranger in your land of Ham ; my counsel is that you readvance your Standard, give her new press money? But not at me man, I will enjoin you, and conjoin you, and briefly thus, you have your Ring that has made this combustion and uproar, that keep still, wear it, and here by my edict be it proclaimed, to all that are jealous, to wear their wives Ring still on their fingers, as best for their securi tie, and the only charm against Cuckoldry. Go too: thou hast a good wife, and there and end: upon you master Doctor (being solicited by so apparent proof) J can do no less then pronounce a severe sentence: and yet i'faith the reverence of your calling and profession does some what check my austerity, what if master Gerardine (by my persuasion would yet be induced to take your Niece and fa there the child, would you launch with a thousand pound, be sides her father's portion? Then foreknowing what would happen, I thought good in master Gerardines name, to have this bound ready, which if you seal to, he shall take her with all faults. He thanks you heartily, and lets you know (they discover themselves That Indian mines and Tagus glistering oar To this bequest were unto me but poor. Cease admiration here! what doubt remains I'll satisfy at full, now join with me, For approbation of our Family. No Ghost forsooth, though I appear in white. Or the breeches to fight with him. Sir, according to the old Ballad; my quorum nomina ready have I, with my pen and inkehorne hanging by : her name sir, her name? No Master Exigent it is not so to be foisted off. Produce your witness M. Purge, and blow not your own horn?