TOUCHWOOD SENIOR

I would it might not Wife, the tediousness Will be the most partly mine, that understand The blessings I have in thee, so to partly That drives the torment to a knowing Heart, But as thou sayest, we must give way to needs All live awhile asunder, our desires Are both too fruitful for our barren Fortune's. How adverse runs the destiny of some Creatures, Some only can get riches and no Children, We only can get Children and no riches, Then it's the prudents partly to check our wills, And till our state rise, make our Bloods lie still. Life every year a Child, and some years two, Beside, drinkings abroad, that's never reckoned, This gear will not hold out. Honest Wife I thank thee, I never knew The perfect treasure thou broughtest with thee more Then at this instant minute. A Man's happy When he's at poorest that has matched his Soul As rightly as his Body. Had I married A sensual Fool now, as it's hard to escape it amongst Gentlewomen of our time, she would have hanged About my Neck, and never left her hold Till she had kissed me into wanton businesses, Which at the waking of my better Judgement I should have cursed most bitterly, And laid a thicker vengeance on my act Then misery of the Birth, which were enough If it were born to greatness, whereas mine Is sure of beggary, though it were God in Wine. Fullness of Joy shows the goodness in thee, Thou art a matchless Wife, Farewell my Joy. I'll see thee often, Talk in mirth, and play at kisses with thee, Any thing Wench but what may beget Beggars, There I give over the Set, throw down the Cards, And dare not take them up. This does not only make her honesty perfect, But her discretion, and approves her Judgement. Had her desire been wanton, they been blameless In being lawful ever, but of all Creatures I hold that Wife a most unmatched treasure, That can unto her Fortune's fix her pleasure, And not unto her Blood, this is Like wedlock, The feast of marriage is not Lust but Love, And care of the estate, when I please Blood, Merely I sing, and suck out others, then It's many a wiseman's fault, but of all Men I am the most unfortunate in that game That ever pleased both Genders, I never played yet Under a Bastard, the poor Wenches curse me To the Pit where ever I come, they were never served so, But used to have more words then one to a bargain, I have such a fatal Finger in such business I must forth with't, chiefly for Country Wenches, For every Harvest I shall hinder Hay-making, I had no less then seven lay in last Progress, Within three weeks of one another's time. How Snaphance? I'll have the Parsons Hand too, or I'll not yield to't. Faith when she will I'll have a bout with her. True, Lawyers use such bouts as other Men do, And if that be all thy grief, I'll tender her a Husband, I keep of purpose two or three Gulls in pickle To eat such Mutten with, and she shall choose one. Do but in courtesy faith Wench excuse me, Of this half yard of Flesh, in which I think it wants A Nail or two. Faith I am poor, do a charitable deed Wench, I am a younger Brother, and have nothing. I have no dwelling, I brake up House but this morning, Pray thee pity me, I am a good Fellow, faith have been too kind To people of your Gender, if I ha'te Without my Belly, none of your Sex shall want it, That word has been of force to move a Woman. There's tricks enough to rid thy Hand on't Wench, Some rich-mans Porch, to morrow before day, Or else anon i'the evening, twenty devises, Here's all I have, I faith, take purse and all, And would I were rid of all the Beware i'the Shop so. And I protest Wench, the next I'll keep my self. what shift she'll make now with this piece of flesh In this strict time of Lent, I cannot imagine, Flesh dare not peep abroad now, I have known This City now above this seven years, But I protest in better state of government, I never knew it yet, nor ever herd of, There has been more religious wholesome Laws In the half cirkle of a year erected For common good, then memory ever knew of, Setting apart corruption of Promoters, And other poisonous Officers that infect And with a venomous breath taint every goodness. What's here to do now? I hold my life she's in deep passion For the imprisonment of Veil and Mutton Now kept in Garets, weeps for some Calves Head now, Me thinks her Husbands Head might serve with Bacon. Why what's the business? How, a Licence? Nay sure thou shalt not miss so fair a mark For thirteen shillings four pence. Quick, make hast Sirs. He can tell that as well as I. Look after him and spare not, there he walks That never yet received baffling, you're blessed More then ever I knew, go take your rest. Prethe cease, I find a too much aptness in my blood For such a business without provocation, You might 'well spared this banquet of Oringoes, Hartechokes, Potatoes, and your buttered Crab, They were fitter kept for your own wedding dinner. Life what makes thee so merry? thou hast no cause That I could hear of lately since thy crosses, Unless there be news come, with new additions. How's that, look for her? I care not where, so she be safe, and yours. You know the worst then brother, now to my Kix The barren he and she, they're i'the next Room, But to say which of their two humours hold them Now at this instant, I cannot say truly. Oh is't that time of day, give you joy of your tongue There's nothing else good in you, this their life The whole day from eyes open to eyes shut, Kissing or scolding, and then must be made friends, Then rail the second partly of the first fit out, And then be pleased again, no Man knows which way, Fallen out Like Giants, and fallen in Like Children, Their Fruit can witness as much. Pray cease, When there are friendlier courses took for you, To get and multiply within your House, At your own proper costs in spite of censure, Me thinks and honest peace might be established. Sweet Sir. Let me entreat Sir. Is't come to that, the peal begins to cease. Some would think this impossible to compass, Pray let this storm fly over. Lady friends come? Can any man tell now which way they came in? By this light I'll be hanged then. Here's a little Vial of Almond-milk That stood me in some three pence. By this light they are out again at the same door, And no Man can tell which way, Come here's your Drink Sir. Then you must ride vpon't five hours. Stir up and down sir, you must not stand. So much the better sir for the — Oh passing good Sir, and would show well a Horse back: When you come to your Inn, If you leapt over a jointstool or two, 'twere not amiss although you brake your neck Sir. Nothing better Sir, if it be furnished with good Victuals. You remember how the bargain runs about this business? Right, that I have Sir. All this is even still, a little faster Sir. By this light they have forgotten their anger since, And are as far in again as ever they were, Which way the Devil came they, Haart I saw they not, Their ways are beyond finding out. Come sweet Lady. Clean contrary, yours must be taken lying. A Bed, or where you will for your own ease, Your Coach will serve. I had been taken Brother by eight Sergeants, But for the honest Watermen, I am bound to them, They are the most requiteful'st people living, For as they get their means by Gentlemen, They are still the forwardest to help Gentlemen, You herd how one scaped out of the Blackfriars, But a while since from two or three Varlets Came into the House with all their Rapiers drawn, As if they dance the Sword-dance on the Stage, With Candles in their Hands Like Chandlers Ghosts, Whilst the poor Gentleman so pursued and banded, Was by and honest pair of Oars safely landed. These be the honest Fellows, Take one pair, and leave the rest for her. No more Brother. By your leave Sir. I may be now admitted, though the Brother Of him your hate pursued, it spreads no further, Your malice sets in death, does it not Sir? He's dead: 'twas a deer Love to him, It cost him but his life, that was all Sir: He paid enough, poor Gentleman, for his Love. That helped him forward, I must needs confess: But the restraint of Love, and your unkindness, Those were the wounds, that from his Heart drew Blood, But being passed help, let words forget it too: Scarcely three Minutes, ere his Eyelids closed, And took eternal leave of this World's light, He wrote this Letter, which by Oath he bound me, To give to her own Hands, that's all my business. Oh with a following look. Here's some Gold, He wiled me to distribute faithfully amongst your Servants. How cheer you Mistress? Here's a Letter from a Friend of yours, And where that fails, in satisfaction I have a sad Tongue ready to supply. Seldom better, has a contented health now. Faith feels no pain at all, he's dead sweet Mistress. As good now then, as let here lie in torment, And then break it. This is she that helped her still, I've a reward here for thee Stay, let me help thee, it's the last cold kindness I can perform for my sweet Brother's sake. Never could Death boast of a richer prize From the first Parent, let the World bring forth A pair of truer Hearts, to speak but truth Of this departed Gentleman, in a Brother, Might by hard censure, be called flattery, Which makes me rather, silent in his right, Then so to be delivered to the thoughts, Of any envious hearer, starved in virtue, And therefore pining to hear others thrive. But for this Maid, whom Envy cannot hurt With all her Poisons, having left to Ages, The true, chased Monument of her living name, Which no time can deface, I say of her The full truth freely, without fear of censure What Nature could there shine, that might redeem Perfection home to Woman, but in her Was fully glorious, beauty set in goodness Speaks what she was, that Jewel so infixed, There was no want of any thing of life, To make these virtuous presidents, Man and Wife. I cannot think, there's any one amongst you, In this full fair assembly, Maid, Man, or Wife, Whose Heart would not have sprung with joy & gladness To have seen their marriage day? Up then a pace, and take your Fortune's, Make these joyful Hearts, here's none but Friends. Nay, do not hinder they now, stand from about they, If she be caught again, and have this time, I'll never plot further for they, nor this honest chambermaid That helped all at a push. Good Sir a pace. Here's a thing trould nimbly. Give you joy brother Were't not better thou shouldst have her, Then the Maid should die? Here be your Wedding Sheets you brought along with you, you may both go to Bed when you please too. Utter all at night then Brother. Sister, delight will silence any Woman, But you'll find your Tongue again, among Maid Servants, Now you keep House, Sister. To tell you the full story of this Chambermaid, And of her kindness in this business to us, 'Twould ask and hours discourse: In brief 'twas she, That wrought it to this purpose cunningly. A storm, a storm, but we are sheltered for it. Here's a strange day again. Say you so Sir? Take heed how you dare a Man, while you live Sir That has good skill at his Weapon.