TIMOTHY

By your leave Gentlemen. No faith, I do not love To go to sea, it makes one lousy, lays him In wooden sheets, and lands him a preservative Against the plague. Beside, my Mother was Afraid to venture me. I only came to have Your judgement of my suit. And my mother has done hers, For she has paid for't. I never durst be seen Before my Father out of Duretta and Serge. But if he catch me in such paltry stuffs, To make me look Like one that lets out money, Let him say Timothy was born a fool. Before he went he made me do what he list; Now he's abroad I'll do what I list. What Are these two? Gentlemen? But I mean can they roar, Beatrice Drawers, play at dice, and court their Mistress. I mean forthwith to get a Mistress. Alls on for that. My Mother lost her Maidenhead that I Might come first into the world; and by Gods lid I'll bear my self Like the elder brother, I. D'you think I'll all days of my life frequent Saint Antlins, Like my sister? Gentlemen I covet your acquaintance. Sir, my know ledge Is not much worth; I me born to a small fortune, Some hundred thousand pound, if once my Father Held up his hands in Marble, or kneeled in brass. What are you Inns of Court-men? I shall shortly Be one my self, I learn to dance already, And wear short cloaks; I mean in your next Masque To have a partly, I shall take most extremely. Gentlemen Shall we dine at and Ordinary? You Shall enter me among the Wits. Led on; I long to see a Lady and to salute her. LAdy, let me taste the Elizium of your lips. What am I sweet Lady? My Father is and Alderman's fellow, and I Hope to be one in time. Nay they say You have a good wit Lady, and I can find it Assoon as another: I in my time have been Oth' University, and should have been a scholar. Heres a rare Lady with all my heart, by this Light Gentlemen, now have I no more language Then a dumb parrot, a little more shee'l jeer me Into a fellow that turns upon his toe In a steeple and strikes quarters. yes, I for two pence oft have bought a better. And make me your third. Gentlemen do I Look Like one of them Trojans? Why Lady do you think me Wrought in a Loom, some Dutch piece weaved at Mooreclack Truly And so I was. Love you? By this hand Idem love a dog of your sweet looks; I am Enamoured of you Lady. Had I now pen and ink, If I were urged I'de feign know whither I In conscience ought not to set down my self No wiser then I should be. Wit? I verily Believe she was begotten by some wit; And he that has her, may beget plays on her. Her house? 'Tis able to find the Court, if she Be chased to all this wit, I do not think But that she might be shown. Led on, Let us dine: This Lady Runs in my head still. You are a Poet, Sir, And can make Verses, I hear? I have made Some speeches, Sir, in verse, which have been spoke By a green Robin Goodfellow from Cheapside Conduit, To my Father's Company; and mean this afternoon To make and Epithalamium upon my wedding. A Lady fell in love with me this morning, Ask M r Francis here. That's true, I had forgotten. you are a Captain, Sir? Captain I love Men of the sword, and buff, and if needs were I can roar too, and hope to swear in time, Do you see, Captain. Art thou The half Crown fellow of the house? Let's have wine enough; I mean to drink a health to a Lady. No, peace. Gentlemen if you'll Go in we'll follow. But M r Francis, was that The business why she called you back. Not I truly. Now I remember One read my fortune once, and told my father That I should match a Lady. And did she ask you who I was? Good. Good still. Most rare. This afternoon's the time? But were I not best ask My friends consent? Then I will. Do you think I am a sive and cannot hold. It shall be yours. O, Captain—pox—take—you—Captain. Oh-my—stomach.- O—O— O-God-my-head.- Plague take you Captain—O—Lord You—made—me— O Ime sick Where is she, O. O O. I can drink No more, O. O, Let me alone. O—my—head— O—Captain—M r Francis —Captain—O.— Plague take you Captain. Where am I? How's this? my hands Transmuted into Claws? my feet made flounders? Arrayed in Fins, and scales? arn't you Ashamed to make me such a Monster? pray Help to undress me. No letter from the Lady I hope? How? Well, We are all mortal; but in what wet case Had J been now, if I had gone with him. Within this fortnight I had been converted Into some Pike, you might would cheapened me. In Fish-street ; J had made and Ordinary, Perchance at the Mermaid: Now could I cry Like any Image in a fountain which He feigns to weep. Runs Lamentations. Oh my hard misfortune! I do not cry for that. no; but to think My Mother is not drowned too. For then might I Would gone to the Counting house and set at liberty Those harmless Angels, which for many years Have been condemned to darkness. Yes, he was there As constant as Duke Humphrey. I can show The prints where he sat holes ith' logs. Yes. Then Linen. To us was stranger then to Capuchins. My flesh is of and Order with wearing shirts Made of the sacks that brought over Cutchyneele, Copprice, and Indico. My sister wears Smocks made of Curran-bags. My Father! I have brought my self to a fine pass too Now Am J fit only to be caught, and put Into a pond to leap Carps, or beget A goodly raze of Pickrel If ever I be drunk With Captains more—. Yes, And as for me, my destiny will be To fight by the day, carry my Kitchen, and Collation at my back, wear orderly My shirt in course, after it has been the shift Of a whole Regiment in the Low-Countries. And after all return with half a leg, One arm perchance, my nose shot off, to move Compassion in my father, who in pity To so much ruin my be brought to buy Some place for me in and Hospital, to keep me From Bridges, Hill-tops, & from selling switches. Ent. Rosecl. I'm for no healths unless the glass be less. Sirrah, wait me in the Hall, And let your feet stink there; your air's not fit, To be endured by Ladies. Hang him, he casts a sent That drowns my perfumes, and is strong enough To cure the Mother or Palsy. Do I act A Knight well? What says the Lady? If that be all I'll Court her as if some Courtier had begotten me Ith' Gallery at a Masque. And lips too Lady. I, I know that, Else Idem not kiss you. Yesterday J was In company with Ladies and they all Longed to be touched by me. Faith all the virtue that they have, is that My lips are knighted. J am born, sweet Lady, To a poor fortune that will keep my self, And Footman, as you see, to bear my sword In Cuerpo after me I can at Court, If J would show my gilded ith' Presence, look After the rate of some five thousands Yearly in old rends, and were my Father once Well wrapped in searcloth, I could fine for Sheriff. Why? 'Tis true, I had forgotten my self, he was drowned, Lady, This morning, as he went to take possession Of a summer house and land in the Canaries. D' you think I have Not wit enough to lie? But Lady this is not The business which J came for. Indeed, Sweet Lady, I've a motion which was once Or twice this morning in my mouth, and then Slipped back again for fear. Say then I should feel Some motions, Lady, of affection; might A man repair Paul's with your heart, or put it Into a Tinderbox? Why is your heart a stone, or flint? Not understand me? you are the first Lady that ere put a man To speak plain English; some would understand Riddles, and signs; say J should love you, Lady? Say you so? Then by this air my teeth eene water at you; I long to have some Offspring by you; we Shall have and excellent breed of wits; J mean My youngest son shall be a Poet; and My Daughters, Like their Mother, every one A wench oth' game. And for my eldest son, He shall be Like me, and inherit. Therefore Lets not defer our joys, but go to bed And multiply. Do. 'Tis not three A clock ith' afternoon. J will then. By this Room She's a rare Lady. J do almost wish I could change sex, and that she might beget Children on me. Lady, Pray will you show the way. Your arm sweet Lady. Exeunt. BY this hand Lady you shall not deny me: Since we are coupled, I shall think the Priest Has not done all, as long as I'm a Virgin. Night? No faith, I've sworn to get my first child by day, you may Be quick by night. I will both speak and do it. Sweet Lady stay not long. Pray forgive me, Sir. I thought I had match a Lady, but she proves— Mother pray Salute my wife, and tell me if one may not Lie with her lips; nay you too, M r Holland ; You taught her to make Shirts and Bonelace ; she's Out of her time now. D' you call him? O, Hostess—a—basin—