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Full speech
Morrow Father. My Tailor a little disappointed me, but is my Bride ready. Go wait within, and tell me father, did she not Think it long till I came. Nay that I dare swear, she has given me many Tastes of her affection. I mean, in the way Of honesty father. Would would hae. Upon my Virginity father. Why then as I am A Gentleman I never did it that I remember. Indeed I was wont to serve my mother's maid so when I came half foxt as you said, and then next mor ning I should laugh to my self. Why father is she with child? Sure it cannot be mine. You are very bold with me Sir. Whats the matter father. It but a trick of youth father, How, I would be loath to wear a surplesse now, 'tis a Disgrace the house of the Shallows never knew I pray father leave us, we know how to behave our selves alone, me thinks Luce we are too many by two yet. I have kissed Her or so. She's with child indeed, it swells, Yes sure, I was drunk when I did it, for I had Forgotten it I lay my life 'twill prove a girl Because it God in drink. Sweet heart, nay never be ashamed, I was a little too hasty, but I'll make thee amends, weel be married presently. I I, sweet heart, as soon as may be. Why so? But will it stand with my worship to be married in private. Come lets about it presently. Father, I thought she had been mine, I hope I shall not lose her thus. What and Ass is this to talk of con tracting, he that will get a wench, must make her big her as I have done, and not contract. Why so. A good iesty faith, make me believe that. Do you mean me Sir. You say true father, if it not for corruption, e very poor rascal might have justice as well as one of us, and that were a shame. exeunt Shall. Luce O women, monstrous women, Little does her father know who has married her. Well Parson, I will be revenged on all thy coat, I will not plough and Acre of ground for you to Tyth, I'll rather pasture my neighbours cattle For nothing. I care not greatly if I do, he is not the first Parson that has taken a gentleman's leavings. You guess my meaning, I hope to have good luck To horseflesh now she is a Parsons wife. I cannot tell you that, but if you saw a woman with child without lying with a man, then perhaps I have not. These things must not be spoken of in company. But when you were i'th good humour you would tell me another tale. I am in a sweet case, what should I do now, h Father thinks I have lain with her, if I deny it Heel have about with me, if I say I have, this Young rogue will cut my throat. I would I were fairly off, I would loose my wench with all my heart, I swear. Hers one Shall with you. I thank you Sir, I'll not be strange. Exeunt I told you what would come on't. you see I was beguiled, and so were you.
Plot summary
Plot — The Heir
In order to facilitate a marriage between his daughter Leucothoe and the wealthy Count Virro, Polymetes has the rumour put about that his son Eugenio has died during a trip overseas, which means that Leucothoe is now his heir. Among her many other admirers is Philocles, the son of Polymetes’ enemy, Euphues; he is barred from direct access to her, but is able to see her through the window of his friend Clerimont’s lodgings, next door to Polymetes’ house. He overhears her admitting that she does not love Virro, who is too old for her, but has fallen in love with a young man she saw riding in the street: Philocles. He throws a letter to her, and she plans an assignation with him in her father’s absence. Eugenio returns home disguised as the scholar Irus, but Polymetes seems less interested in the news of his son’s survival than that the rumour of his death should not be contradicted. Polymetes learns of Philocles’ assignation with Leucothoe; he and ‘Irus’ eavesdrop on it and hear the lovers plan to elope, even though stealing an heiress is a capital crime. Approving of his sister’s choice, Eugenio tells Virro that he will be marrying Leucothoe under false pretences, since the true heir is still alive; but Virro’s response is to hire ‘Irus’ to poison Eugenio. Polymetes catches Philocles and Leucothoe in the act of elopement, and Euphues’ attempts to secure a pardon are fruitless. Leucothoe’s pleading has more effect on the King, but only because he is attracted to her: he swears not to issue a pardon unless she has sex with him. When she adamantly refuses, the King tries to find a way out of his oath, but the papal price list for exemptions disgusts him and there is no legal loophole. At the trial, Philocles pleads guilty and is sentenced to death; Leucothoe declares her determination to die with him. ‘Irus’ is produced in court, having contrived to get himself arrested for murdering Eugenio; both he and Virro are also sentenced to death. ‘Irus’ gets Polymetes to declare in open court that, as things stand, he would allow Leucothoe to marry Philocles after all, if he were available. Then he reveals himself to be Eugenio: no murder has been committed, and no heiress stolen, so the death sentences are all quashed. In the sub-plot, Francisco has got Luce pregnant, and offers to make amends by marrying her; but her father Franklin intends her instead for the rich, foolish Shallow. Shallow is persuaded that he himself is responsible for her condition, and that,…