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Full speech
Cedant arma togae, concedant lauria linguae. Singulariter, nominativo Haec linguam. Forsooth because it is the Feminine gender. Faith I have little arithmetic in me, yet I remember the storm made me cast up perfectly the whole sum of all I had received, three days before I was liquord soundly my guts were rinsed for the heavens: I look as pale ever since as if I had taken the diet this spring. Marry since we were hung by the heals on the batch of Cycily to make a jail delivery of the sea in our maws 'tis joust three months: shall I speak Like a Poet? Thrice hath the horned moan. Sheele make you Prince, your worship must be crowned Oh master you know the woman is the weaker creature, She must have a prop: the maid is the brittle mettle Her head is quickly cracked: the wife is queasy stomackt She must be fed with novelties; but then whats your widow, Custom is a second nature, I say no more but think you the rest. Master will you trust me and I'll. Even next rising son. Peace, peace, stand concealed, yonder by all descriptions is he would be husband of my Mistress: your wife hah meat hah. Oh peace, observe him, hah. My Lord Albano, Believe me sir — Good Sir. A kind of puritane. Miserably continued ̄ plaining to your crack-ship though we have light Mistress's we are made the Children and servants of dark nes, what profane use we are put to, all these gallants more fee lingly know then we can lively express, it is to be comiserated and by your royal insight only to be prevented that a male Mounkey and the diminutive of a man should be Synonima & no scence. Though we are the dross of your subjects, yet be king a kind of page, let us find your Celsitude kind and respec tiue of our time-fortunes and births abuse, and so in the name of our whole tribe of empty basket-bearers, I kiss your little hands. Two stones man. Is all your eloquence come to this? Poght. The clapper of Rumor strikes on both sides ringing out the French knight is in firm possessio ̄ of my Ministers your wife.
Plot summary
Plot — What You Will
Only three months after her husband Albano was reported dead in a sea battle, Celia has many suitors. Tomorrow she intends to marry Laverdure, a French knight; but Alban.o 's brothers, Randolfo and Adrian, disapprove. After fruitlessly petitioning the noctumal. party-loving Duke to stop the wedding, thcr decide to make it illegitimate by introducing an impostor, a perfumer named Francisco, to pose as Albano, claiming that he did not die after all; but Laverdure's page Bidet witnesses their scheming and warns his master. In fact, Albano survived. On his return to Venice he is unimpressed to hear that his supposedly faithful and loving wife is getting married again so soon; but when he accosts Laverdure, he is taken for Francisco. Even his own brothers take him for the disguised perfumer, so he begins to believe that he has indeed become Francisco by metempsychosis. He interrupts the performance of a play at court to protest at the way he has been treated, and the Duke assures everyone that he really is Albano. He decides to forgive everyone, including Laverdure and Celia. In the sub-plot, Simplicius saves the schoolboy Holofernes Pippo from a thrashing and takes him on as his page. A group of pages trick Simplicius into arranging an assignation with a merchant's wife, who turns out to be Holofemes in disguise.