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Full speech
Oh Fie some lights, sirs fie, let there be no deeds of dark ness done among us.—I so, so, pree thee Tyer-man set Sineor Snuff a fire, he's a choleric Gentleman, he will take Pepper in the nose instantly, fear not, before Heaven I wonder they tolerate him so never the Stage. Troth they should pick straws before they should be idle, Oh well recalled, marry Sir sineor Snuff, Mounsieur Mew, and Cavaliero Blirt, are three of the most to be feared Auditors that ever— Nay dream what-so-ere your fantasy swims on Phylomuse, I protest in the love you have procured me to bear your friend the Author, I am vehemently fearful, this three fold halter of contempt that chokes the breath of wit, these aforesaid tria sunt omniam, Knights of the Meaw will sit heavy on the skirts of his Scenes, if— Nay, nay, nay, Heavens my hope, I cannot smooth this strain, Wits death I cannot, what a leprous humour Breaks from rank swelling of these bubbling wits? Now out vp-pont: I wonder what tite brain: Wrung in this custom to maintain Contempt Gainst common Censure : to give stiff counter buffs To crack rude scorn even on the very face Of better audience. Slight is't not odious, Why hark you honest, honest Phylomuse (You that endeavour to endear our thoughts, To the composers spirit) hold this firm: Music and Poetry were first approved By common scence; and that which pleased most, Held most allowed pass: not rules of Art Were shaped to pleasure, not pleasure to your rules, Think you if that his scenes took stamp in mint Of three or four deemed most judicious, It must enforce the world to currant them That you must spit defiance on dislike? Now as I love the light were I to pass Through public verdict, I should fear my form Least ought I offered were vnsquard or warped, "The more we know, the more we know we want "What Bayard boulder then the ignorant? "Believe me Phylomuse: i'faith thou must "The best best seal of wit, is wits distrust. I'll here no more of him, nay and your friend the Au thor, the composer: the What you will: seems so fair in his own glass, so straight in his own measure that he talks once of squinting Critics, drunken Censure, splayfooted Opinion, ivi cles husks, I would done with him, I would done with him. As if any such unsanctified stuff could find a being monge these ingenuous breasts. 1st Comedy, Tragedy, Pastoral, Moral, Nocturnal or History. Why I Like this vain well now. I'll not stand it, may chance recoil, and be not stuffed with salte-peeter, well mark the report, mark the report. And they strive to put thee out, do thou endeavour to put them. Go stand to it, show thy self a tale man of thy tongue, make and honest leg, put off thy Cap with discreet carriage: and so we leave thee to the kind Gentlemen, and most respec ted Auditors. Exeunt, remanet tantum Phylomusus.
Plot summary
Plot — What You Will
Only three months after her husband Albano was reported dead in a sea battle, Celia has many suitors. Tomorrow she intends to marry Laverdure, a French knight; but Alban.o 's brothers, Randolfo and Adrian, disapprove. After fruitlessly petitioning the noctumal. party-loving Duke to stop the wedding, thcr decide to make it illegitimate by introducing an impostor, a perfumer named Francisco, to pose as Albano, claiming that he did not die after all; but Laverdure's page Bidet witnesses their scheming and warns his master. In fact, Albano survived. On his return to Venice he is unimpressed to hear that his supposedly faithful and loving wife is getting married again so soon; but when he accosts Laverdure, he is taken for Francisco. Even his own brothers take him for the disguised perfumer, so he begins to believe that he has indeed become Francisco by metempsychosis. He interrupts the performance of a play at court to protest at the way he has been treated, and the Duke assures everyone that he really is Albano. He decides to forgive everyone, including Laverdure and Celia. In the sub-plot, Simplicius saves the schoolboy Holofernes Pippo from a thrashing and takes him on as his page. A group of pages trick Simplicius into arranging an assignation with a merchant's wife, who turns out to be Holofemes in disguise.