HERCULES

Thats excellent, nay, I would go to law. Excellent Sir, nay if a man were of competent means, Wertenberg not a notable delight for a man to have for every month in the year? Nay for every day of the week? Nay for every humour of a man in that hour, to have a several Mistress to entertain him, as if he were Saturnine, or melancholy to have a black haired, pall-fac'de, sallow thinking Mistress to clip him: If Jovial and merry, a sanguine, light tripping singing, indeed a mistress that would dance a caranto as she goes to embrace him, if choleric, impatient or ireful, to have a Mistress withered hair, little Ferreteyes, a lean cheek, and a sharp nose to entertain him. And so of the rest. Oh this is the fair Lady with the fowl teeth, Nature's hand shook when she was in making, for the red that should have spread her cheeks, nature let fall upon her nose, the white of his chin slipped into her eyes, and the grey of her eyes leapt before his time into her hayer, and the yeallownes of her haier fell without providence into her teeth. Of your most only elected, Excellent, this piece of stuff is good on both sides, he is so constant, he will not change his phrase. Why this is pure wit, nay judgement. I do sir. You profess a most excellent mystery sir. Your most only elected too. How term you that Lady, with whom she holds discourse? Philocalia, what that renowned Lady whose ample re port hath stroke wonder into remotest strangers? and yet her worth above that wonder, she whose noble industries hath made her breast rich in true glories, and undying habilities, she that whilst other ladies spend the life of earth, Time, in reading their glass, their Jewels, and (the shame of Poesy) lustful so nets gives her soul meditations, those meditations wings, that cleave the Air, fan bright celestial fierce, whose true re flections makes her see her self and them: She whose pity is ever above her envy, loving nothing less then insolent prosperity, and pitittying nothing more then virtue destitute of fortune. I cannot tell my thoughts grow busy, Before Jove you rated him with Emphasis. If he have any wit in him, he will make sweet use of it. Arrant Asses. Poor weak creatures to men of approved reach. Nay as for your wit— Not oneminently disce ̄ dead, for were the pedigrees of some fortunately mounted, searched, they would be secretly found to be of the blood of the poor Fawn. His life that only lives to your sole good, Which Oh may never end. Shall you I say confound your own fair Hope's, Cross all your course of life, make your self vain, To your once steady grauenes, and all to second The ambitious quickness of a monstrous love, Thats only out of difficulty born, And followed only for the miracle, In the obtaining? I would would you now, Tell her father all. True right sir, father's or friends, a crown, And love hath none, but are allied to themselves alone, Your father I may boldly say, he's and Ass, To hope that yowl forbear to swallow, What he cannot chew, nay e't is injustice truly, For him to judge it fit, that you should starve. For that which only he can feast his eye withal, And not digest. Unless you tell him, but what hope can live in you, When your short stay, and your most shortened conference. Not only actions, but even looks abstrude, Cut off all possibilities of obtaining. But then how rest you to your father true? Even so? he that with safety would well lurk in courts, To best elected ends, of force is wrung, To keep broad eyes, soft feet, long ears, & most short tongue. For ti's of knowing creatures the main art, To use quick hammes, wide arms and most close heart. Why ti's a most well in fashion affection Dona Garbet za your Knight S. Amaros is a man of a most unfortunate back, spits white, has and ill breath, at three after dinner goes to the Both, takes the diet, nay which is more, takes Tobacco, therefore with great authority you may cuckold him. No prejudice deer Garbetza, his brother your husband right, he cuckold his eldest brother, true, he gets her with child, joust. And indeed since the virtue of procreation growed hopeless in your husband, to whom should you rather commit your love and honour to, then him that is most Like and near your husband, his brother, but are you assured your friend and brother rests entirely constant solely to you? You may make him come to the covering and reco uering of his old doublets. So, you withdrawing your favour, his present means fail him, and by getting you with child, his future means for ever rest despairful to him. The very scourge of your most basely off ̄ ding brother Stand Herod, you are full met sir. I'st possible? Right Herod, true, for imagine all a man possessed with a perpetual pleasure, Like that of generation, even in the high est lushiousnes, he straight Sinks as unable to bear so conti nuall, so pure, so universal a sensuality. Or why Oh custom didst thou oblige them to mode sty, such cold temperam ̄ ce, that they must be wooed by men, courted by men? why all know, they are more full of strong de sire's, those desires most impatient of delay, or hindera ̄ ce, they have more unruly passio ̄ S then men, and weaker reason to tem per those passion then men. Oh sir nature is a wise workman, she knows right well that if women should woo us to the art of love, we should all be utterly shamed, how often should they take us unprovided when ̄ they are always ready. Why here are two perfect creatures, the one Nympha doro, loves all, and my Herod here eioyes all. Heres a lie indeed. No good Herod, I'll show thee one now: To his most elected Mistress and worthy laundress, divine mistress Puttot ta at her tent in the woodyard, or else where give these. If my tears or vows, my faithfullest protestations on my knees. Fair and only loved laundress. Might move thy stony heart to take pity on my sighs. Alas I write it in passion, alas thou knowest beside my loathed sister thou art. The only hope of my pleasure, the only pleasure of my Hope's, be pleased therefore to Pish, near blush man, t'is and uncourtly quality, as for thy lying as long as theres policy int, it is very passable, where before haz heaven given man tonge but to speak to a men own glory? he that cannot swell bigger then his natural skin nor seem to be in more grace then he is, has not learned the very rudiments or A.B.C. of courtship. What, are ye full fraughted, is your ship well fooled? Oh then, your ship of fools is full. But what Philosophers would you. But why has the Duke thus labord to have all the fools shipped out of his dominions. Beware your breech fool. Hold, hold, do not Paul the delight before it come to our palate, & what other rumor keeps air on men's lungs. And did she not make you a more worshipful thing, a Cuckold. And has not she showed herself fruitful that was God with child without help of her husband? Nay but most of this is your fault that for many years only upon mere mistrust severed your body from your Lady and in that time gave opportunity turn'de a jealous ass hired and some to try and tempt your Ladies honour whilst she with all possible industry of apparent merit diver ting your unfortunate suspicion. And excellent wit. Which now you have found you will not be such and ass as Caesar, great Pompey, Lucullus, Anthony, or Cato & diverse other Roman, cuckolds, who all knew it, & yet were never di uorc'd vpon't, or Like that smith-God Vulcan who having take ̄ his wifetaking, yet was presently appeased, and entreated to make and Armour for a bastard of hers Aeneas. No the Roman were asses & thought that a woma ̄ might mix her thigh with a strnager wantonly, & yet still love her hus band band matrimonially. As indeed they say many married men, lie sometime with strange women, whom, but for the instant use, they abhor. Ass for you. But you are a Cuckold still, and one that knows him self to be a cuckold. The world shall know what you are. Indeed I must confess I know twenty are Cuckolds honestly & decently enough a worthy gallant spirit (whose virtue suppresses his mishap) is lame ̄ ted but not disesteemed by it: Yet the world shall know— And although it be no great partly of injustice, for him to be struck with the scabbard that haz struck with the blade (for there is few of us but hath made some one cuckold or other) Yet.— Yet— Or that since heaven hath given us no other means to allay our furious appetite, no other way of increasing our pro genie, since we must entreat and beg for assuagement of our passion, and entertainment of our affections, why did not hea ven make us a nobler creature then weome ̄ to show unto, some admirable, deity of and uncorruptible beauty that be worth our knees, the expense of our heat, and the crinkling of our. Oh my Lord look who here comes. Delivered, yes. Oh my Done. delivered, yes Dona Zoya the grace of society, the music of sweetly agreeing perfectio ̄ , more clearly chased then ice or frozen rain, that glory of her sex, that wonder of wit, that beauty more freshy then any cool and trembling wind, that now only wish of a man is delivered, is delivered. From ̄ Done. Zuc. that dry skalines, that sarpego, that barren drouth and shame of all humanity. whose suspicions made her unimitable graces motive of thy base jealousy. defamed her. and now lastly done that for her which she only prayed for, and wished as wholesome air for, namely to be from such and unworthy. malicious. ill languidg'd jealous. why my sweet Done. you are no cuckold. thats, the grief ont that I would wronged so sweet (and now in my knowledge) so delicate a creature, Oh me thinks I embrace her yet. alas my Lord you have done her no wrong, no wrong in the world, you have done her a pleasure, a great pleasure, a thousand gentlemen, nay dukes will be proud to accept your leavings, your leavings, now is she courted, this heir sends her jewels, that lord proffers her jointers, tother knight pro claims challenges, to maintain her, the only not beautiful, but very beauty of Women. nay that's true, that's most true (I would not of flict you, only think how vnrelentles you were to her but supposed fault. think how you scorned her tears, Tears that were only shed I would not vex you in very grief to see you covet your own shame. For indeed she is the sweetest modest soul, the fullest of pity. The softness and very courrtesie of her sex as one that never loved any — So much that he might hope to dishonour her, nor a nigh so little that he might fear she disdained him. Oh the graces made her a soul as soft as spotless down upon the swans fair breast, that drew bright Cytherea's chariot, yet think (I would not vex you) yet think how cruel you were to her. And never hope to be reconciled, never dream to be reconciled, never Faith go hang your self my Done. thats best sure. There is a modest matron Like creature— Some four score won ting one. Very wealthy. She has three hairs on her scalp and four teeth in her head, a brow wrinkled and puckered Like old parchment half burned, she haz had eyes, no woman's jawbones are more apparent, her sometime envious lips, now shrink in, and give her nose and her chin leave to kiss each other very moistly; as for her reverend mouth it seldom opens, but the very breath that flies out of it, infects the fowls of the air, and makes them drop down dead, her breasts hang Like cobwebs, her flesh will never make you cuckold, her bones may. Very wealthy, No sure, she will not have you, why do you think that a waiting woman of three bastards, a strumpet nine times carted or a hag whose eyes shoot poison, that has been and old witch, and is now turning into a gib-cat will would you? marry Done. Zucone the contempt of women, and the shame of men, that has affli cted, contemned, so choice a perfection as Dona Zoyas. Hang your self you shall not, marry you cannot, isle tell ye what you shall do, there is a ship of fools setting forth, if you make good means & entreat hard, you may obtain a pass sageman, be masters mate I warrant you. Oh my Done, that God made no other means of procre ation but by these women, I speak it not to vex you. Thus Few strike sail until they run on shelf, The eye sees all things but his proper self, In all things curiosity hath been Vicious at least, but herein most pernicious, What madness is't to search and find a wound, For which there is no cure? and which unfound Near rankles, whose finding only wounds But he that upon vain surmise forsakes His bed thus long, only to search his shame, Gives to his wife youth, opportunity, Keeps her in idlefull delitiousnesse, Heats and inflames imagination, Provokes her to revenge with churlish wrongs, What should he hope but this? why should it lie in women, Or even in chastity it self (since chastiti's a female) Avoid desires so ripened, such svvetes so canded; But she that hath outborn such mass of wrongs, Out-dur'de all persecutions, all contempts, Suspects, disgrace, all wants, and all the mischiefs The baseness of a cankered churl could cast upon her, With constant virtue, best feigned chastity, And in the end turns all his jealousy's, To his own scorn, that Lady I implore, It may be lawful not to praise, but even adore. The Prince is now arriude at the Court gate. Sure sir the Lady loves you With violent passion, and this night prepares A Priest with nuptial rights to entertain you In her most private chamber. Where are we now, Cyllenian Mercury ? And thou quick issue of Jove's broken pate Aid and direct us: you better stars to knowledge Sweet constellations that affect pure oil, And holy vigil of the pale cheeckt Muses, Give your best influence, that with able spright, We may correct and please, giving full light, To every angle of this various sense, Works of strong birth, end better then commence. Exit. Thou mother of chased Due, nights modest lamp, Thou by whose saint shine, the blushing lovers, Join glowing cheeks, and mix their trembling lips. In vows well kiste, rise all as full of splendour, As my breast is of joy- You Genital, You fruitful well mixed heats: Oh bless the sheets, Of yonder chamber, that Ferrara's Dukedom, The raze of princely issue be not cursed, And ended in abhorred barrenness. At length kill all my fears, nor let it rest, Once more my tremblings, that my too cold son, (That ever scorner of humainer loves) Will still contemn the sweets of marriage, Still kill our hope of name in his dull coldness, Let it be lawful to make use you powers, Of human weakness, that pursueth still, What is inhibited, and most affects, What is most difficult to be obtainde: So we may learn, that nicer love's a shade, It follows fled, pursued, flies as afraid, And in the end close all the various errors Of passages, most truly comical: In moral learning with Like confidence, Of him that vowed good fortune of the scene, Shall neither make him fat, or bade make lean. Why, are they divided? No sure, I think the Princes is beneath, man, would they supped fool? Why Sir Amaros this may be, and yet you not the true father, may it not Herod ? Faith Lady very strange things, it says, that some La die of your hair, shall have feeble hams, short memories and very weak eye sighed, so that they shall mistake their own Page, or even brother in law, sometime for their husbands. Galla ̄ ts to dancing, loud music, the dukes upon ̄ entram ̄ ce Ready. Ours. Triumphant Cupid that sleeps on the soft cheek Of rarest beauty, whose thron's in Ladies eyes, Whose force writhed lightning from Jove's shaking hand, Forced strong Alcides to resign his club. Plucked Neptune's trident from his mighty arm, Unhelmed Mars, he (with those trophies born, Led in by Sloth, Pride, Plenty, Drunkenness. Followde by Folly, War, Laughter, Beggary, Takes his fair throne, fit pleased for now we move, And speak not for our glory, but for love. With a full health to our great Mistress Venus, Let every state of Cupid's parliament, Hercule drinks health. Begin the session, quod bonum faustumque fit precor. A statute made in the five thousand, four hundred, threescore and three year of the easeful reign of the mighty potent Done Cupid Emperor of sighs, and protestations, great king of kisses: Archduke of dalliance, and sole lou'de of him, for the maintaining and relieving of his old soldiers, maimed or dismembered in love. And Act against the plurality of Mistress's. Whereas some over amorous and unconscionable continued uetous young gallants without all grace of Venus, or the fear of Cupid in their minds, have at one time ingrossed the care or cures of diverse Mistress's, with the charge of Ladies, into their own tenure or occupation, whereby their Mistress's must of necessity be very ill and unsufficiently served, and likewise many able portly Gallants, live unfurnished of competent entertainme ̄ to to the merit of their bodies: and whereas likewise some other greedy strangers have taken in the purlues, outset land, and the ancient commons of our sovereign Liege Done Cupid, taking in his very high ways, and enclosing the ̄ , and annexing them to their own Lordship's, to the much empo uerishing and putting of diverse of Cupid's true hearts and loyal subjects, to base and abominable shifts: Be it therefore enacted by the sovereign authority and erected ensign of Done Cupid, with the assent of some of the Lords, most of the Ladies, and all the Commons, that what person or persons so ever, shall in the trade of honour, presume to wear at one time two Ladies favors, or at one time shall earnestly court two woe men in the way of marriage, or if any under the degree of a Duke, shall keep above twenty women of pleasure, a Dukes brother fifteen, a Lord ten, a knight or a Pensioner, or both four, a gentleman two. shall ipso facto, be arrested by fol lies mace, and instantly committed to the ship of fools, with out either bail or maine-prize, Millessimo centesimo, quingintesi more, quadragesimo nono. Cupidinis semper unius. Nymphadoro to the bar. Dominam Poveia, did he not ever protest, that you were his most only elected Mistress. And act against counterfeiting of Cupid's royal coin, & abusing his subjects with false money. To the bar Sir A maros. In most lamentable form complaineth to your blind celsitude, your distressed Orators, the women of the world, that in respect that many spend thrifts, who having exhausted and wasted their substance, and in stranger parts have with empty shows, treasonably purchased Ladies affe ctions, without being of ability to pay them for it with curra ̄ to money, and therefore have deceitfully sought to satisfy the ̄ with counterfeit mettle, to the great displeasure, and no small lose of your humblest subjects. May it therefore with your pitiful assent been acted, that what Lord, Knight, or gentle ma ̄ soever, knowing himself insufficient, bankrupt, exhau stead and wasted, shall traitorously dare to entertain any lady, as wife, or mistress, ipso facto to be severed from all commerce meant with women, his wife or mistress in that state off ̄ ding, to be forgiven with a pardon of course, and himself instantly to be pressed to sail in the ship of fools, without either bail or mainprise. Sir Amorous is arrested. I will be most human and right courteously languaged in thy correc tio ̄ , and only say, thy vice from ̄ appara ̄ to here, has made thee and apparent beggar, and now of a false knave, hath made thee a true fool: Folly to the ship with him, and twice a day let him be ducked at the mainyard. And Act against slanderers of Cupid's liege ladies names, and lewd defamers of their honours. And Act against mummers, false seemers, that abuse la die with counterfeit faces, courting only by signs; & seeming wise only by silence. To be urged to speak, & the ̄ if inward ability answer not outward seeming, to be committed instantly to the ship of fools, during great Cupid's pleasure. My Lord Granuffo to the bar, speak, speak, is not this law joust? And judged away. And act against privy conspiracies, by which if any with ambitious wisdom, shall hope and strive to outstrip love to cross his words, and make frustrate his sweet plea sures, if such a presumptuous wisdom fallen to nothing, & die in laughter, the vizard so transgressing is ipso facto adjudged to offend in most deep treason, to forfeit all his wit at the will of the Lord, and be instantly committed to the ship of fools for ever. But what yet might your well known wisdom think If such a one, as being most severe, A most protested opposite to the match Of two young lovers, who having barred them speech, Alt internewes, all messages, all means, To plot their wished ends, even he himself, Was by their cunning made the go between. The only messenger, the token carrier, Told them the times when they might fitly meet, Nay, showed the way to one another's bed. What graven Urbin's Duke, dares Follies sceptre touch his prudent shoulders, is he a Coxcomb, no, My Lord is wise, for we all know that Vrbines Duke has eyes. Indeed I must confess, your grace did tell, And first did intimate your daughters love, To otherwise most cold Tiberio, After conveyed her private favour to him, A curious scarf, wherein her needle wrought, Her private love to him. And last by her persuasion showed the youth, The very way and best elected time, To come unto her chamber. Thus did you sir, but I must confess, You meant not to do this, but were rankly gulde, Made a plain natural. This sure sir you did. And in assurance Prince Tiberio, Renowned, witted, Dulcimel appear, The acts of constant honour cannot fear. Herc. exit Never grieve or wonder, all things sweetly fit. What still in wondering, ignorance does rest, In private conference, your deer loved breast, Shall fully take. But now we change our face. You hau't. Busy your self with no fears, for I shall rest most wary of our safety, only some glimpses I will give you for your satisfacti on why I leave Ferrara, I have vowed to visit the Court of Urban in some disguise, as thus: my son as you can well witness with me, could I never persuade to marriage, although my self was then, and ever resolved Widower, and though I proposed to him this very Lady, to whom he is gone in my right to negotiate: now how cooler blood will behave it self in this business, would I have and on lie testimony, other contents shall I give my self; as not to take love by attorney, or make my election out of tongues, other suffisings there are which my regard would feign make found to me: some thing of much you know, that and what else you must not know, bids you excuse this kind of my departure. Think not but I shall approve that more than folly which even now appears in a most ridiculous expectation: be in this as sured. " The bottom of gravity is nothing Like the top, once more fare you well. Exit. Ren. And now thou Ceremonious sovereignty You proud severer stateful Compliments The secret arts of Rule, I put you off; Nor ever shall those manacles of form Once more lock up the appetite of blood. 'Tis now and age of man, while we all strict Have lived in awe of carriage regular Apted unto my place, not hath my life Once tasted of exorbitant affects Wild Longings, or the Least of disranct shapes. But we must once be wild, 'tis ancient truth Oh fortunate, whose madness falls in youth! Well, this is text, who ever keeps his place In servile station, is all low and base. Shall I because some few may cry, Light, vain, Beatrice down affection from desired rule, He that does strive to please the world's a fool To have that fellow cry. Oh mark him, graven, See how austeerely he does give example, Of repressed heat and steady life Whilst my forced life against the stream of blood Is tugged along, and all to keep the God Of fools and women: Nice opinion: Whose strict preserving makes oft great men fools And fools oft great men: no thou world know thus "Ther's nothing free but it is generous. How now my little more then nothing, what news is stirring? I, thy head is always working, it roles, and it roles Done dolo, but it gathers no most Dondolo. Nay, if thou hast more than one, the lose can never be grievous since 'tis certain he that loves many formally, never loves any violently. Any thing true but remember still this fair, this wise, this sweet, this all of excellency has in the tail of all, a Woman. My Brother, sir Amoroso-debilidosso. No, not he? Why, grown the very dregs of the drabs cup. Yes, yet still the Ladies common, or the common Ladies servant. Faith Like the Roman Milo, boar with him when he was a Calf, and now caries him when he's grown and Ox. By this light, I'll swear he said his father had the hipgout, the strangury, the fistula in anon, and a most vnabydable breath, no teeth, less eyes, great fingers, little legs, and eternal flux, and and everlasting cough of the longues. Of Ferrara. With the Prince Tiberio, what to that, you will not rail at me will you? No. No. Then blessed be the most happy gravel betwixt thy toes I do prophesy thy tirannising ytch shall be honourable, and thy right worshipful, Love shall appear in full presence; art thou and officer to the Prince? I am, what a that? Yeoman of his bottles, what to that? I may be in better place sir, and with you of more regard if this match of our Dukes intermarriage with the heir of Urban proceed, the Duke of Urban dying, and our Lord coming in his Ladies right of title to your dukedom. May I speak boldly as at Alleppo ? With and undoubted breast thus, I may speak boldly, No more, I'll on, me thinks the young Lord our Prince of Ferrara so bounteously adorned with all, of grace, feature and best shaped proportion, fair use of speech, full opportunity, & that which makes the sympothie of all equality, of heat, of years, of blood, me thinks these Loadstones should attract the mettle of the young Princes rather to the son than to the noisome, cold, and most weak side of his half rotten father. Tha'rt ours, tha'rt ours now dare we speak as boldly as if Adam had not fallen, and made us all slaves, hark you, the Duke is and arrant doting Ass, and Ass, and in the knowledge of my very sense, will turn a foolish animal, for his son will prove Like one of Balls priests, have all the flesh presented to the Idol his father, but he in the night will feed on't, will devour it, he will yeoman of the bottles, he will. Not, but one to him out of some private urging most vow ed, one that pursues him but for opportunity of safe satisfaction, now if you can prefer my service to him, I shall rest yours wholly. Our very heart, and if need be work to most desperate ends. Words fit acquaintance, but full actions friends. You promise well. Nay as for wealth vilia miretur vulgus. I know by his physiognomy, for wealth he is of my addiction, & bid's a fico for't. I never knew till now, how old I was, By him by whom we are, I think a Prince Whose tender sufferance never felt a gust Of boulder breathings, but still lived gently fanned With the soft gales of his own flatterers lips Shall never know his own complexion. Dear sleep and lust I thank you, but for you, Mortal till now, I scarce had known my self Thou grateful poison, sleek mischief Flattery Thou dreamefull slumber (that does fallen on kings As soft and soon as their first holy oil,) Be thou for ever damed, I now repent Severe indictions to some sharp stile, Freeness, so't grow not to licentiousness Is gratfull to joust states. Most spotless kingdom, And men oh happy born under good stars. Where what is honest, you may freely think, Speak what you think, and write what you do speak, Not bound to servile soothings. But since our rank Hath ever been afflicted with these flies (That blow corruption on the sweetest virtues) I will revenge us all upon you all With the same stratagem, we still are caught, Flattery it self, and sure all knows the sharpness Of reprehensive language is even blunted To full contempt, since vice is now termed fashion And most are grown to ill even with defence, I vow to wast this most prodigious heat That falls into my age, Like scorching flames In depth of numbed December, in flattering all In all of their extremest viciousness, Till in their own loved raze they fallen most lame, And meet full butt, the close of Vices shame. Exit. Come Sir, a stool boy, these Court Feasts are to us Servi tors Court Fasts, such scambling, such shift for to eat, and where to eat, here a Squire of low degree hath God the carcase of a Plover, there Pages of the Chamber divide the spoils of a tattered Pheasant, here the Sewer has friended a Country Gentleman with a sweet green goose, and there a young fellow that late has bought his office, has caught a Woodcock by the nose, with cups full e ver flowing. Did you ever see a fellow so spurted up in a moment, he has God the right ear of the Duke, the Prince, Princess, most of the Lords, but all the Ladies, why he is become their only Minion, Usher, and Supporter. Nay, thats unquestionable, and indeed what a fruitless la bor, what a filling of Danaes tub, is it become to inveigh a gainst folly, community takes away the sense, and example the shame: no, praise me these fellows, hang on their chariot wheel, And mount with them whom fortune heaves, nay drives: A stoical Sour virtue seldom thrives. Oppose such fortune, and then burst with those are pitied. The hill of Chance is paved with poor men's bones, And bulks of luckless souls, over whose eyes, Their chariot wheels must ruthless grate, that rise. Blessed and long lasting be thy carnation ribband; Oh man of more than wit, much more than virtue, of fortune! Fawnus wilt eat any of a young spring salad? No, I'll none, I'll eat no City herbs, no City roots, for here in the City a man shall have his excrements in his teeth a gain within four and twenty hours, I love no City fallets: hast any Canary? Before Jove, we must be more endeared. Very womanly with my fingers, I protest I think I shall love you, are you married? I am truly taken with your virtues, are you married? Why I Like you well for it. Why I Like you better for it; before heaven I must love you; Fore-heaven you are blessed with three rare graces, fine lin nen, clean linings, a sanguine complexion, and I am sure, and ex cellent wit, for you are a gentleman born. O my excellent, and inward dearly approved friend,— What's your name sir? clean linen is the first our life craves, and the last our death enjoys. 'Tis to be hoped, not. But sure sir 'tis almost undoubted the Lady will carry him. Hast thou any pity, either of his passion, or the Ladies years, a Gentleman in the summer & hunting season of his youth, the Lady met in the same warmth, were't not to be wept that such a sapless chafingdish using old dotard as the Duke of Ferra ra with his withered hand, should pluck such a bud, such a: O the life of sense! Would you any money? The liker to have no money. But my young Gallants to speak Like my self, I must hug your humour. Why look you there is fate, destiny, constellations, and Planets, (which though they are under nature, yet they are above women,) who hath read the book of chance? no, cherish your hope, sweeten your ima ginations, with thoughts of, ah why women are the most giddy, uncertain motions under heaven, 'tis neither proportion of body, virtue of mind, amplitude of fortune, greatness of blood, but only mere chancefull appetite sways them: which makes some one Like a man, be it but for the paring of his nales, viah, as for in equality, art not a gentleman? I know you are, by the only word beneficence, which only speaks of the future tense (shall know it,) but may I breath in your bosoms; I only fear Tiberio will abuse your father's trust, and so make your Hope's desperate. How, and Italian: Afore the light of my eyes, I think I shall admire, wone der at you. What? would you plots, projects, correspondences, and stratagems: why are not you in better place? Who's this Herod my eldest Brother sir Amoroso Debilidoso? O I know him, God bless thine eyes sweet sir Amo roso, a rous, a vin de monte, to the health of thy Chine my deer sweet Signiour. O no sir, he takes the diet this spring always, boy my brother's bottle. I perceive Knight you have children, o 'tis a blessed as surance of heavens favour, and long lasting name to have many children. Oh that's most excellent, a right special happiness, he shall not be a Drudge to his cradle, a slave to his child, he shall be sure not to cherish another's blood, nor toil to advance parad venture some Rascals lust; without children a man is unclogged, his wife almost a Maid: Messalina, thou cryedst out, Oh blessed bar rennesse, why once with child the very Venus of a Ladies entertain meant hath lost all pleasure. Nay my Brother grudgeth not at my probable inheri tance, he means once to give a younger brother hope to see fortune. Pish Zuccoli, no Nymphadoro, if sir Amorous would would children, let him lie on a mattres, blow or thresh, eat onions, garlic, and leek porridge, Pharao and his council were mi staken, and their devise to hinder the increase of procreation in the Israelites, with enforcing them to much labour of body, and to feed hard, with beets, garlic, and onions, (meat that make the orriginall of man most sharp, and taking) was absurd. No he should have given barley bred, lettice, mellones, cucumbers, huge store of veil, and fresh beef, blown up their flesh, held them from excercise, rolled them in feathers, & most surely seen them drunk once a day, then would they at their best have begotten but wenches, and in short time their generation infeebled to nothing. Come what are you fleering at? ther's some weakness in your brother you wrinkle at thus, come prithee impart, what we are mutually incorporated, turned one into another, bived togea there, come I believe you are familiar with your sister, and it were known. Dost thou live Like a porter by the back boy? Dost thou branch him boy? What else? nay 'tis enough, why many men corrupt other men's wives, some their maids, others their neighbours daugh ters, but to lie with ones brother's wedlock, Oh my deer Herod his vile and uncommon lust. To thee my little Herod? o my rare Rascal, I do find more and more in thee to wonder at, for thou art indeed; if I prosper thou shalt know what. Whose this? Enter Done. Zucc. Plots would you laid? Inductions, dangerous? My deer Done ? Your Lady? For in deed sir, a repressed fame mounts Like Camomyll, the more trod down, the more it grows, things known common and undoubted, loose rumour. Nymph: Nymph: what i'st? what's the news? Herod, Herod, whats the matter pree thee, the news? As I am generous — Truth my Lord, a thing, that, that, well, I faith it is not fit you know it? Will you plighted your patience to it. But if you should grow disquiet (as I protest, it would make a Saint blaspheme) I should be unwilling to procure your impatience. Nay faith 'tis no great matter, hark you, yowl tell no body. As you are noble. Your Lady wife apparently with child. With child. My Done. Why? my Lord 'tis nothing to wear a forker. All things under the Moon are subject to their mistress grace; horns, lend me your ring my Done, I'll put it on my finger, now 'tis on yours again, why is the gold now ere the worse in lustre or fitness? I my Lord true, nay to be (look you mark you) to be used Like a dead ox, to have your own hide plucked on, to be drawn on, with your own horn, to have the Lordship of your father, the honour of your ancestors, maugre your beard, to descend to the base lust of some groom of your stable, or the page of your chamber. But Sir. Nay 'tis a pure fool, I can tell ye he was bred up in Her many. Why would not you endeavoured Courses that only seconded appetite? And not your honour, or your trust of place, Do you not court the Lady for your self? Amazed, even lost in wondering, I restful Of covetous expectation: I am left As on a rock, from whence I may discern The giddy sea of humour slow beneath, Upon whose back the vainer bubbles float And forthwith break, oh mighty flattery Thou easiest, commonest, and most grateful venom That poisons Courts, and all societies, How grateful dost thou make me? should one rail And come to fear a vice, beware legge-ringes And the turned key on thee, when if softer hand Suppling a soar that itches (which should smart) Free speech gains foes, base fawnings steal the heart, Swell you impostumbd members till you burst Since 'tis in vain to hinder, on isle thrust And when in shame you fallen, I'll laugh from hence, And cry, so end all desperate impudence. And others court shall show me where and how Vice may be cured, for now beside my self Possessed with almost frenzy, from strong fervor I know I shall produce things mere divine, Without immoderate heat, no virtues shine For I speak strong, though strange, the dews that steep Our souls in deepest thoughts, are Fury and Sleep. And excellent justice of and upright virtue, you love all Gods creatures with and unpartial affection. Though you love all in general, true, for when you vow a most devoted love to one you swear not to tender a most devoted love to another, and indeed why should any man overlove any thing, 'tis judgement for a man to love every thing proportionably to his virtue. I love a dog with a hunting plea sure, as he is pleasurable in hunting, my horse after a iourneing eam sines as he is easy in journeying, my hawk, to the goodness of his wing, and my wench— Why according to her creation, nature made them pret tie, toying, idle fantastic imperfect creatures, even so I would in justice affect them, with a pretty toying idle fantastic im perfect affection, and as indeed they are only created for show and pleasure, so would I only love them for show and pleasure. But Sir with what possibility can your constitution be so boundlessly amorous as to affect all women of what degree, form or complexion soever? Oh, I will acknowledge this is the Lady made of cutwork and all her body Like a sand box, full of holes, and contains nothing but dust, she chooseth her servants, as men choose dogs, by the mouth, if they open well and full, their cry is plea sing, she may be chaste, for she haz a bad face, and yet que stionles, she may be made a strumpet, for she is cove tous. Peace the wolves ear takes the wind of us. Grace me too call you mistress. As indeed, why should any woman only love any one man, since it is reasonable, women should affect all perfection, but all perfection never rests in one man; many men have many virtues, but Ladies should love many virtues, therefore Ladies should love many men; for as in wome ̄ , so in me ̄ , some woma ̄ hath only a good eye, one can discourse beautifully, if she do not laugh, one's well favoured to her nose, another hath only a good brow, tother a plump lip, a third only holds beauty to the teeth, and there the soil alters, some peradventure hold good to the breast, and then downward turn Like the drempt of Image, whose head was gold, breast silver, thighs iron, and all beneath clay and earth, one only winks eloquently, another only kisses well, tother only talks well, a fourth only lies well: So in men, one Gall lant has only a good face, another has only a graven metho dicall beard, and is a notable wise fellow, until he speaks, a third only makes water well, and thats a good provoking quality, one only swears well, another only speaks well, a third only do's well, all in their kind good, goodness is to be affected, there before they, it is a base thing and indeed and impossible for a worthy mind to be contented with the whole world, but most vile and abject to be satisfied with one point of the world. Oh, but you know not your husbands aptness. Be comforted deer Done, you would none to leeze: I would be divorced despite her friends, or the oath of her Chambermaid. Why thats sport alone, what though it be most exacting, wherefore is money? What though you shall pay for every quill, each drop of Ink, each minnam, letter, tittle, comma, prick, each breath, nay, not only for thine own Orators prating, but for some other Orators silence, though thou must buy silence with a full hand, 'tis well known Demosthenes took above 2000. pound once on lie to hold his peace, though thou a man of noble gentry, yet you must weight, and besiege his study door, which will prove more hard to be entered, than old Troy, for that was got into by a woo den horse, but the entrance of this may chance cost thee a whole stock of Cattle, Oves & boues & caetera pecoracampi, though then thou must fit there thrust and contemned bareheaded to a gro grain scribe ready to start up at the door creaking, pressed to get in, with your leave Sir, to some surly groom, the third son of a Ropemaker; what of all this? A very arrant Ass, when he is hungry will feed on though he be whipped to the bones, and shall a very arrant Ass Zuccone, be more virtuously patient, than a noble. Do so and be wise. Call a dog worshipful, A Fool? A Ninny-hammer? A Calf? And brain. And Forehead. Fawnus. Now gentlemen, I am sure the lust of speech hath equally drenched us all, know I am no servant to this Prince Tiberio. Or me. Excellent. With Ciceronian Elocution? Of wise experience. Silence is and excellent modest grace, but especially be before so instructing a wisdom, as that of your excellencies, as for his advancement, you gave it most royally, because he deserves it least duly, since to give to virtuous desert, is rather a endue requital, then a Princely magnificence, when to vndeseruingnesse, it is merely all bounty and free grace. Sir my self, my family, my Fortune's, are all devoted I protest most religiously to your service. I vow my whole self only proved, in being acknowledged by you, but as your creature, and my only utmost ambition is by my sword or soul to testify, how sincerely I am consecrated to your a doration. True my worthy Lord, your grace is vere pius. But in a woman, yet as she is a wife, she is Oftentimes the end of her husband Madam let me sighs it in your bosom, how immutable and unfainting and indeed— And now in stead of country innocency, have you God court honesty: well Madam leave your brother to my placing, he shall have a special cabin in the ship of fools. That will stow him under hatches I warrant you. There is one lie better shapte by ods. Why / how got all these forth, was not the warrant stro ̄ g? In fatis agimur, cedite fatis, but how runs rumor what breath's strongest in the Palace, now I think you know all. know she grew loathing of thy jealousy, As for you old father. Why dost laugh fool, heeres no body with thee. Why, would they sat already upon any statutes? No sir Amaros, heeres likewise prophesied a great scarcity of Gentry to ensue, and that some Boars shall be dubbed Sir Amoroso. A great scarcity of Lawyers is likewise this year to ensue, so that some one of them shall be entreated to take fees a both sides. T'is lamentable, pity your grace has forgotten it: Drun kennes, Oh t'is a most fluent and swelling virtue, sure the most joust of all virtues, t'is justice it self, for if it chance to oppress and take too much, it presently restores it again. It makes the king and the peasant equal, for if they are both drunk alike, they are both beasts alike: As for that most precious light of heaven Truth, if time be the father of her, I am sure drun kennes is oftentimes the mother of her, and brings her forth, Drunkenness brings all out, for it brings all the drink out of the pot, all the wit out of the pate, and all the money out of the purse. Oh sir, oue is very eloquent, makes all men good Oh rators, himself then must needs be eloquent. Dominam Garbetza, did he not ever pro test, you were his most only elected Mistress. Dominam Donella, did he not ever protest you were his most only elected Mistress? Indeed 'tis no reason Ladies should beg liers. I take my oath upon thy brother's body, 'tis none of thine. T'is in great Cupid's case, you may have no counsel. And Act against forgers of love letters, false braggarts of ladies favours, and vain boaster's of counterfeit tokens. The brazen head haz spoken. And as for sending them to the Duke of Ferrara, See my good Lord, Ferrara's over ioid prince, meets the ̄ in fullest wish. S Ee yonder's Urban those far appearing Spires, rise from the City, you shall conduct me no further, re turn to Ferrara, my Dukedom by your care in my absence shall rest constantly united, and most religi ously loyal. where did the herbs grow my gallant, where did they grow? Take heed Lady from ̄ off ̄ ding or bruising the hope of your woe ̄ b. why weakness of reason, couldst not perceive all was feigned to be rid of thee?