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Full speech
Fie, you may not pray for the dead, 'tis indifferent to them what you say. No Fawn, the world shall know I have more virtue, than so. But if you shall love any other. Fie you flatter me, go wear and understand my favour, this snail slow, but sure. Farewell. Exit. A board, a board, a board, all manner of fools of Courtey tie or country of what degree sex or nature. Herod. O'twas excellently thronged full, a Justice of peace, though he had been one of the most illiterate asses in a Country could hardly would God a hanging cabin. Oh we had first some lo ̄ g fortunate great Politicians that were so sottishly paradise as to think when popular hate seconded Princes displea sure to them, any unmerited violence could seem to the world injustice, some purple fellows whom chance rea read, and their own deficiences of spirit hurled down, we had some courtiers that over bought their offices & yet durst fallen in love, Priests that forsook their functions to avoid a thawart stroke with a wet finger. But now alas Fawn, now the space and place. Yes, yes, but they God a supersedeas, all of them proved them selves either knaves or mad men, and so were all let go, the none left now in our ship, but a few Citizens, that let their wives keep their shop books, some philosophers, and a few Critiques; one of which Criti ques has lost his flesh with fishing at the measure of Plautus verses, another has vowed to get the consumption of the lungues, or to leave to posterity the true orthography and pronunciation of laughing, a third hath melted a great deal a suet, worn out his thumbs with turning, read out his eyes and studied his face out of a sanguine into a meager spaw ling fleamy lothsomenes, & all to find but why mentula should be the feminine gender since the rule is Propriam quae maribut tribuuntur mascilla dicas. These Philosophers, Critiques and all the maids we could find at 16. are all our fraught now. Fill it quoth you alas we have very few and these we were feign to take up in the country too. Oh very strange fellows one knows nothing, dares not aver, he lives, goes, sees, feels. And oher that there is no present time, and that one man to day, and to morrow is not the same man, so that he that yes terday owed money to day owes none, because he is not the same man. Marry because he would play the fool himself alone without any rival. I warrant thee old lad 'tis the privilege of poor fools to talk before and intelligencer, marry if I could fool my self into a Lordship as I know some would fool them selves out of a Lordship were I grown some huge fellow & God the leer of the people upon me if the fates had so decreed it, I should talk treason though I near opened my lips. Yes we fools think we know all the Prince hath audience to night, is feasted and after supper is entertained with no comedy mask or barriers but with. With a most new and special shape of delight. Marry gallants, a session, a general council of love sum mond in the name of Done Cupid to which upon pain of their mistress displeasure shall appear all favour wearers, sonnet mongers, health drinkers, & neat in riches of barbers, & perfu mers, & to conclude all that can wy he or wag the tail, are upon ̄ grievous pains of their back sum ̄ mond to be assistant in that Session of love. Other egregiousnes of folly would you not herd of Done. Zucone. He is separated. That salt that criticism, that very all epigram of a woman, that Analysis, that compendium of witness. We would still such words but I will not unshake the jest be before it be ripe and therefore kissing your worships fingers in most sweet terms without any sense and with most fair looks without any good meaning I most courtlike take my leave ba suus manus devostro Signioria. Why, therefore do I laugh, because theres no body with me, would I were a fool alone I faith, I am come to at ̄ worser let me go, I am sent to the Princes, to come & attend her father to the end of Cupid's Parliament. Sat I, all's agreed in the neither house: Oh Im Cupid's Parliament, all the young gallants are a the neither house, and all the old signiors that can but only kiss are of the upper house: is the Princes above? Oh yes, the confusion of tongues, at the large Table is broke up, for see the presence fills; A fool, a fool, a fool my Coxcomb for a fool. Oh gallants, my fools that were appointed to weight on Done Cupid. have launched out their ship to purge their sto mackes on the water, and before Jupiter I fear, they will prove defective in their attendance. I, but whence, that? lets see mine Almanac or prognosti cation. In true wisdom sir it is, Let me see the moon, before pity, 'tis in the wain, what grief is this? that so great a planet should ever decline or lose splendore — full sea at- In Capricorn, Sir Amoroso. Is this your lady Sir Amorous ? In sober modesty Sir, I do not use to do it behind. I easily believe you sir, for she hath a very vile face, I assure you. That this year no child shall be begotten ten, but shall have a true Father. Silence. Those that are lightly hurt, shame to complain; those that are deeply struck, are passed recovery. He did. Thou art arrested. Of all these follies I arrest your grace. Thats sententious now, a figure called in art Ironia. News, news, news, news. I would many things in my head to tell you. Tiberio the Duke of Ferrara's son excellently horsed, all upon Flanders Mares, is arrived at the Court this very day, somewhat late in the night time. Why my Gallants, I have had a good wit. Why? every fool knows that, I know it my self man as well as the best man, he is come to solicit a marriage betwixt his Father the Duke of Ferara's, and our Duke of Urbin's daughter Dulcimel. News, news, news, news, o my deer Done be raised, be Iouiald, be triumphant, ah my deer Done. Will you be secret? As you are generous? Done Zuccones Lady's with child. Lady: In most sincerity, most sincerely. Oh Lady yet charity. Would, would, would.
Plot summary
Plot — Parasitaster, or The Fawn
After failing to persuade his son Tiberio to marry, Hercules, the widowed Duke of Ferrara, plans to marry Princess Dulcimel of Urbino, and sends Tiberio to negotiate the treaty. Hercules goes to Urbino himself, assumes the alias Faunus, meets Nymphadoro and Herod, and hears some unflattering remarks about himself in his other persona, Hercules. He gets them to introduce him at court, and becomes a favourite with the Duke of Urbino. Dulcimel would rather marry Tiberio than Hercules, and contrives to woo him using her father, Duke Gonzago, as an intermediary. She brings him a scarf which she has embroidered with a message, and tells him that it was sent by Tiberio; the outraged Gonzago gives it to the young man, thinking he is returning an unwanted would-be lover's gift. She then reports to ===== PAGE 176 ===== Gonzago that Tiberio intends to climb up the tree by her bedroom window and surreptitiously marry her. Gonzago repeats the plan back to Tiberio, revokes his diplomatic status, and orders him to leave Urbino. Instead, Tiberio. puts the plan into effect and marries Dulcimel in her bedroom. Faunus: observes the foolish behaviour of the courtiers at Urbino. Herod cuckolds his brother, the impotent Sir Amoroso, and gets his sister-in-law with child — in effect, dispossessing himself of the estate by producing an heir apparent. Donna Zoya, who bas not slept with her husband Zuccone for four years, feigns pregnancy, and the gossip spreads rapidly through the court, each person telling the next on condition that they keep it strictly to themselves. Zuccone repudiates her, then regrets it on learning she is not really an adulteress, but she will only take him back on new terms which give her the upper hand in the marriage. Faunus lays on a court entertainment: a parliament of Cupid to consider the many grievances lovers have sent to heaven. Cupid’s statutes are read, and several of the foolish courtiers are tried. Nymphadoro is convicted as a multiple philanderer and sent to the ship of fools, Herod for falsely boasting of love, and Granuffo for affecting silence to seem wiser than he is. Sir Amoroso (charged with wooing on false pretences) and Zuccone are spared. The last fool to be exposed is Gonzago, for procuring the seduction of his own daughter. Resuming his own identity, Hercules thanks Gonzago for securing Tiberio’s marriage.