BILIOSO

So have I this twenty year, and yet there was a gen tleman usher called me cocks-coomb tother day, and to my face too: wast not a backbiting rascal? I would I were better tram veiled, that I might have been better acquainted with the fashi ons of several countrymen: but my Secretary, I think he hath sufficiently instructed me. Marry my good Lord quoth he, your Lordship shall ever find amongst a hundred Frenchmen, forty hight shottes: amongst a hundred Spaniards, threescore bragarts: amongst a hundred Dutchmen, fourscore drunkards: amongst a hun dreaded Englishmen, fourscore and ten madmen: and amongst and hundred Welch-men. Fourscore and nineteen gentlemen. Why dost think I cannot mourn, unless I wear my hat in cipers Like and Alderman's heir, that's vile, very old, in faith. Proud enough, and to will do well enough; as I walk up and down the chamber, I'll spit f owns about me, have a strong perfume in my jerkin, let my beard grow to make me look terrible, salute no man beneath the fourth button, and will do excellent. I'll tell you that when the Lady hath entertainde me: but to satisfy thee, here comes the fool: fool thou shalt stand for the fair Lady. I'll salute her in Latin. A pestilent fool: before God I think the world be turned up side down too. There be many will repine at my preferment. The Duke is wondrous discontented. Didst thou see Madam Floria to day? A bitter fowl: Come Madam, this night thou shalt in joy me freely, and to morrow for Florence. Hercules? Hercules was the son of Jupiter and Alk menam. Fool, how dost thou Like my calf in a long stocking? This calf hath been a reveller this twenty year, when monsieur Gundi lay here Ambassador, I could have carried a Lady up and down at arms end in a platter; and I can tell you there were those at that time, who to try the str ngth of a men back, and his arm, would be coisterd: I have measured calves with most of the palace, and they come nothing near m e; be sides, I think there be not many armours in the Arsinall will fit me, especially for the head-pe ce. I'll tell thee. I can eat stewd broth as it comes seething off the fire; or a custard, as it comes reeking out of the oven; and I think there are not many Lords can do it: a good pomander alittle decayed in the scent, but six grains of musk ground with rose water, and tempered with alittle civit, shall fetch her again pre sently. Thou canst prove any thing. Well be not drunk good fool, I shall see you anon in the presence. Make way there the Duke returns from the inthronme ̄ to Maleuole. Forbear. Peace. My Lord, I did know your Lordship in this disguise, you herd me ever say if Altofront did return I would stand for him: beside it your Lordship's pleasure to call me Wittol and Cuckold; you must not think but that I knew you I would have put it up so patiently. § You overjoyed spirits wipe your long wet eyes, To Pietro & Aurelia. Why when? out ye rogue, be gone you rascal. Out you cur. Out. Hence ye gross jawed pesantly, out, go. Out rogue. A good old simile, my honest Lord. My Lord, I have some books which have been de dicated to my honour, and I never read um, and yet they had very fine names: Physic for Fortune: Lozinges of sanctified sincerity, very pretty works of Curates, Scriveners and Schoolmasters Marry I remember one Seneca, Lucius Anneus Seneca. Before God, and so I may, I am in wondrous credit Lady. I'll have it so, and Passarello my fool shall go along with me, marry he shall be in velvet? I, 'tis common for your fool to wear satin, isle have mine in velvet. Velvet too, marry it shall be embroidered, because isle worser ffer from the oole somewhat. I am horribly troubled with the gout, nothing grieves me but that my doctor hath forbidden me wine, and you know your Ambassador must drink. Didst thou ask thy doctor what was good for the gout? Nay, thou hast such a wit, what was good to cure I , said he? Surely I do wonder, how thou having, for the most part of thy life time been a country body, shouldst have so good a wit. I will conceal the great Dukes pleasure, only this was his charge, his pleasure is, that his daughter die, Duke Pietro be banished, for ban shing his bloods dishonour, and that Duke Altofront be re-accepted: this is all, but I hear Duke Pietro is dead. Is Mendeza strongest? Then yet I'll hold with him. Why then I would turn strait again. 'Tis good run still with him that haz most might: I had rather stand with wrong, than fallen with right. And what dost thou rail upon the Ladies as thou Wertenberg wont? Never. Words of course, terms of disport. His grace presents you by me a chain, as his grateful remem brance for—I am ignorant for what, marry ye may impart: Yet howsoever—come—deer friend: Dost know my son? Well returned, I praise my horse. Maleuole. Nay sweet Maleuole, since my return, I hear you are become the thing I always prophesied would be, and and vanced virtue, a worthily employed faithfulness a man a grace, deer friend. Come; what? Si quoties peccant homines. If as often as cour tiers play the knaves honest men should be angry. Why look ye, we must collouge sometime, forswear sometime. Right Nemo omnibus horis sapit. No man can be honest at all hours. Necessity often depraues virtue. Do let us be friends man. Right, let us prosper and purchase, our Lordship's shall live and our knavery be forgotten. True. By the Lord thou art a profound lad. Peace, peace, and thou wilt not be a friend to me as I am a knave, be not a knave to me as I am thy friend and dis close me, peace Cornets. Make room there room for the Ladies: why gen tlemen, will not you suffer the Ladies to be entered in the great chamber? why gallants? and you sir, to drop your Torch where the beauty's must fit too, Let him play the knave a Gods name, thinkest thou I have no more wit then to strike a great fellow: the music. more lights, reveling, scaffolds: do you hear? let there be oaths enough ready at the door, swear out the devil himself, Lets leave the Ladies, and go see if the Lords be ready for them. Mercury shall be your lawyer, Lady. I can tell you strange news, but I am sure you know them already. The Duke speaks much good of you. Do one another good offices. He shall eat woodcocks, dance jigges, make possets, and play at shuttlecock with any young Lord about the Court: he haz as sweet a Lady too: dost know her little bitch? Believe me, a she bitch? Oh 'tis a good creature, thon shalt be her servant, I'll make thee acquainted with my young wife too: what, I keep her not at Court for nothing: 'Tis grown to supper time, come to my table, that any thing I have stands open to thee. I shall now leave you with my always best wishes, only let's hold betwixt us a firm correspondence, a mutuall-frendly-reciprocall-kinde of steddie-vnanimous-hartily leagued.— Oh yes, 'tis the form the fashion of them all. Mass I'll think on't, farewell. Room, make a lane there, the Duke is entering stand handsomely for beauty's sake, take up the Ladies there. So, cornets, cornets. Thovia rte ever my politician, Oh how happy is that old ord that hath a politician to his young Lady! I'll have fifty gentlemen shall attend upon me; marry the most of them shall be Farmers sons, because they shall bear their own charges, and they shall go appear ld thus, in seawater green suits, ash-color , wetchet stockings, and popinj y green feathers, will not the colours do excellent? Here's a noise in Court, you think you are in a Tavern, do you not? Second one another. I but your Lady can. Maleuole. I am going Ambassador to Florence. No, I leave her at the palace. The discord rather then the Music is herd from the Malcontent Male oles chamber. Sinior. Take heed he's very valiant, I have known him fight eight quarrels in five days, believe it. Madam, I am going Ambassador for Florence, 'twill be great charges to me. How Madam? W High how now? are you mad? or drunk? or both? or what? Of the Dukes religion, when I know what it is Wittal? Amphitrio was a cuckold. Before God and excellent policy. Yes. How prove you that? Whose pate. Out you improvident rascal.