MIZALDUS

Well said man i'the Moon. Was ever such Astro nomers? Marry I fear none of these will fallen into the right Ditch. A quarrel on my life. Now begins my vengeance mount high in my lust: It's a rare creature, shee'll do't faith; And I am armed at all points A rare whiblin, To be revenged, and yet gain pleasure in't, One height above revenge: yet what a slave am I, Are there not younger Brother's enough, but we must Branch one another? o but mine revenge, And who on that does dream Must be a Tyrant ever in extreme. Oh my Wife Thais get my Breakfast ready, I must into the Country to a Farm I have Some two miles off, and, as I think, Shall not come home to night. Jaques, Jaques, Get my Vessel ready to row me down the River. Prithee make haste Sweet girl. Exit Mizal. I'll assure you the way into your Ladyship is open. Faith Signior not unlike the condemned malefactor, That hears his judgement openly pronounced; But I ascribe to Fate, Joy swell your love, Cypress, and Willow grace my drooping crest. Learn of a well composed Epigram, A woman's love, and thus 'twas sung unto us: The Tapers that stood on her husbands hearse, Isabell' advances to a second bed: Is it not wondrous strange for to rehearse She should so soon forget her husband dead; One hour? for if the husbands life once fade, Both love and husband in one graven are laid. But we forget our selves, I am for the marriage Of Signior Claridiana, and the fine M ris . Abigall. I'll never embrace the smoke of a Furnace, the quintes sense of mineral or simples, or as I may say more learnedly, nor the spirit of Quickesiluer. I liked the former jar better: then they showed Like men and Soldiers; now Like Cowards and Leachers. W Hat should we do in this Countesses dark hold? She's sullenly retired, as the Turtle: Every day has been a black day with her since her husband died, and what should we unruly members make here? Zounds what a sheepish beginning is here? it's said true, Love is simple; and it may well hold, and thou art a simple lover. I'll make my marriage day Like to the bloody bridal Alcides by the fiery Centaurs had. Away with these catterwallers. Come on sir. Shall any broken Quacksalvers Bastard oppose him to me in my Nuptials? No, but I'll show him better mettle then ere the Gallemawfrey his father used. Thou scum of his melting pots, that Wertenberg christened in a Crusoile, with Mercuries water, to show thou wouldst prove a stinging As pis; for all thou spitst is Aquam fortis, and thy breath is a come pound of poisons stillatory: if I get within thee, hadst thou the scaly hide of a Crocodile, as thou art partly of his nam ture, I would leave thee as bore as and Anatomy at the second viewing. Signior, sir, Oh Devil. Had the last, or the least Syllable Of this more then immortal eloquence, Commenced to me when rage had been so high Within my blood, that it overtopped my soul, Like to the Lion when he hears the found Of Diana's Bowstring in some shady wood, I should have couched my lowly limb on earth, And held my silence a proud sacrifice. Sir, by the conscience of a Catholic man, And by our mother Church that binds And does atone in amity with God, The souls of men, that they with men be one, I tread into the centre all the thoughts Of ill in me, towards you, and memory Of what from you might ought disparage me, Wishing unfeignedly it may sink low, And as untimely births want power to grow. Good gentlemen if I have any interest in you, Lent. Abig. Let me depart unknown, it's a disgrace Of and eternal memory. What Cuckold laid his horns in my way? Signior Claridiana, you were by the Lady when I fell, Do you think I hurt her? What was't I fell withal? Cross-point indeed: well if you love me, let me hence unknown, The silence yours, the disgrace mine own. Ex. Clar. & Mend. Zounds she comes to deride me. I will steal hence, and so conceal disgrace. Yes, Lady but the Fates will not permit (As Iems once lost are seldom or never found) I should convey it with me. Sweet Goodnight. She bends to me: there's my fallen again. Exit. So fell the Trojan wanderer on the Greek, And boar away his ravished prize to Troy: For such a beauty, brighter then his Dana. Jove should (me thinks) now come himself again Lovely Isabella, I confess me mortal: Not worthy to serve thee in thought, I swear, Yet shall not this same overflow of favour Diminish my vowed duty to your beauty. I'll teach you how to woo, Say you have loved me long, And tell me that a woman's feeble tongue Was never tuned unto a wooing-string; Yet formy sake you will forget your sex, And court my Love with strained Immodesty, Then bid me make you happy with a kiss. Now use some unexpect vmbages, To draw me further into Vulcan's Net. Fair Lady, but I do. Why in this kiss I shew't, and in my vowed service, This wooing shall suffice, it's easier far To make the current of a silver-brook Convert his flowing backward to his Spring, Then turn a woman wooer. There's no cause Can turn the settled course of Nature's Laws. The Letter gives direction here for Pavy. To horse, to horse: thus once Eridace, With looks regardiant, did the Thracian gaze, And lost his gift, while he desired the sighed. But wiser I, led by more powerful charm; Idem see the world win thee from out mine arm. Exeunt. Heyday; cross-ruff at midnight. Is't Christmas? You go a gaming to your neighbours house. Oxhead will bear and Actium; I'll ha'the Law; I'll not be yoked. Bear witness Gentlemen, he calls me Oxhead. I am as good a Christian as thy self, Though my Wife have now new christened me. Not to fast Gentlemen: what's our crime? I'll not see my shame. Hemp in stead of a Quacksalver, you shall put out mine eyes, and my head shall be bought to make Incke-hornes of. We have confessed the fact my Lord, to God and man, Our ghostly father, and that worthy Captain: We beg not life but favourable death. Nay more, my Lord, we feared that your kinsman for a mess of Sonnets, would have given the plot of us and our wives, to some needy Poet, and for sport and profit brought us in some Venician Comedy upon the Stage. All the Law in Venice shall not save me, I will not be saved. Why now I see thou love me; thou hast confirmed Thy friendship for ever to me by these words. Why, I should never hear Lanthorn and candle called for, But I should think it was for me and my Wife. I'll hang for that, forget not thy trick. Vpon'em with thy trick, I long for sentence. Make not us presidents for after wrongs, I will receive punishment for my sins, It shall be a means to lift me towards heaven. My Lord, your lustful kinsman, I can title him no bet ter, came sneaking to my house Like a Promoter to spy flesh in the Lent: now I having a Venecian spirit, watched my time, and with my Rapier run him through, knowing all pains are but trifles to the horn of a Citizen. With a Rapier Liege. Dost think to save me & hang thy self? no I scorn it; is this the trick thou saidst thou hadst: I killed him Duke. He only gave consent: 'twas I that did it. We shall never agree in a tale till we come to the gallows, then we shall jump. I'll make a wry mouth at that, or it shall cost me a fallen: It's thy pride to be hanged alone, because thou scornest my come pany: but it shall be known I am as good a man as thy self, and in these actions will keep company with thy betters Jew. Dog-killer. Hang us, and quarter us, we shall never be parted till then. So do I, Pronounce our doom, we are prepared to die. He scorns my company, till the day of Judgement, I'll not hang with him. You malice-monger, I'll be hanged afore thee, An't be but to vex thee. I thought not of that, my mind was altogether of the gallows. What a spight's this, I had kept in my breath of purpose Thinking to go away the quieter, and must we now back? Chastity? I will sooner expect a Jesuits recantation: Or the great Turks conversion, then her chastity. Pardon my liege, I will not trust mine eyes: Women and Devils, will deceive the wise. Satan, why hast thou tempted my wife? To Clarid. Remember, Sir, this is your wedding day, And that triumph belongs only to your wife. If you be noble let me cut off his head. Yes: does any man think I'll go Like a sheep to the slaughter? Hands off my Lord, your Lordship may chance come under my hands: If you do, I shall show my self a Citizen, and revenge basely. Signior Claridiana. A friend to thee, if thy intents be joust & honourable. My name is Rogero: dost thou know me? I know thee valiant Spaniard, and to thee Murders more hateful, then is sacrilege Thy actions ever have been honourable. I never wronged thee Spaniard, did I? speak I'll make thee satisfaction Like a soldier, Tell him all the Plot. A true Italian, and a Gentleman: Thy rage is treachery without a cause. Murder should keep with baseness, not with merit: I'll answer thee to morrow by my soul, And clear thy doubts, or satisfy thy will. My friend; is it the rigour of the law I should be tied thus hard, I'll undergo it: If not, prithee then slacken; yet I have deserved it, This murder lies heavy on my conscience. Oh whore, I little thought to see you in this taking, I am governor of this castle of cornets, My graven will be stumbled at, thou adultrat whore, I might have lived Like a Merchant. Peace, thou art very quick with me. A bastard, a bastard, a bastard: I might have lived Like a gentleman, And now I must die Like a Hanger on: Show tricks upon a wooden horse, And run through and Alphabet of scurvy faces: Do not expect a good look from me. I have confessed it, to my ghostly father, And done the Sacrament of penance for it. What would your highness more? Amen, Amen. Oh that a man had the instinct of a Lion, He knows when the Lioness place falls to him: But these solaces, these women, They bring man to grey hairs before he be thirtle. Yet they cast out such mists of flattery from their breath, That a men lost again sure I fell into my marriage bed drunk: Like the Leopard, well with sober eyes would I had avoided it; Come graven and hide me from my blasted fame; Exeunt Ambo with officers. Oh that thou couldst as well conceal my shame. Marry and that Lethargy seize you, read again. Stretch not my patience Mahomet. Had I known this I would have poisoned thee in the Chalice, This morning, when we received the Sacrament. Thus 'tis to lie with another men wife: He shall be sure to hear on't again. But we are friends, sweet duck, kiss her. And this shall be my maxim all my life, MAN never happy is till in a wife. Oh my Liege, I had rather roar to death with Phaleris Bull, then Darius -Like, to have one of my wings extend to Atlas, the other to Europa. What is a Cuckold learn of me, Few can tell his pedigree, Nor his subtle nature construe, Born a man, but die a monster. Yet great Antiquaries say, They spring from our Methusala, Who after Noahs flood was found, To have his Crest with branches crowned. God in Edens happy shade, This same creature made. Then to cut off all mistaking, Cuckolds are of women's making. From whose snares, good Lord deliver us. Mountebank with thy Pedantical Actium, Rimatrix, Buglors, Rhimocers. Let the Quacksalvers son be still: His father was still, and still, and still again. The Like wish I, but never can be the Like, And therefore wish I thee. Thou shalt as soon find Truth telling a lie, Virtue a Bawd, Honesty a Courtier, As me turned recreant to thy least design: Love makes me speak, and he makes love divine.