CLARIDIANA

Good my Lord detain me not, I will tilt at him. Remember o'the other side, you have a maidenhead of your own to cut off. Thou son of a Jew. Begotten when thy father's face was towards east, To show that thou wouldst prove a Caterpillar: His Messias shall not save thee from me, I'll send thee to him in collops. Thou Jew, of the Tribe of Gad, that sure, there were none here but thou and I, wouldst teach me the Art of breathing, thou wouldst run Like a Dromidarie. By the Almighty I'll study Negromancy but I'll be revenged. True, all the City points at him for a Knave. Nor I such a Centaur, half a man, half and Ass, and all a Jew. I think if I were receiving the holy Sacrament His sighed would make me gnash my teeth terribly: But there's the beauty without parallel, To Abigall. In whom the Graces and the Virtues meet: In her aspect mild Honour sits and smiles: And who looks there, were it the savage Bear, But would derive new nature from her eyes. But to be reconciled simply for him, Were mankind to be lost again, Idem let it, And a new heap of stones should stock the world. In heaven and earth this power beauty hath, It inflames Temperance, and temp'rates Wrath: What ere thou art, mine art thou wise or chaste: I shall set hard upon thy marriage vow, And write revenge high in thy Husbands brow, In a strange Character. You may begin sir. I have not yet swallowed the Rhimatrix nor the Ono centaur, the Rimocheros was monstrous. I must, the Gods of love command, And that bright Star, her eye, that guides my fate. Signior Rogero, joy then Signior Rogero. Slave, I will fight with thee at any odds, Or name and instrument fit for destruction, That never was made to make away a man, I'll meet thee on the ridges of the Alps, Or some inhospitable wilderness, Stark naked, at push-of-pike, or keen Curt'laxe, At Turkish Fickle, Babylonian Saw, The ancient Hooks of great Cadwalleder, Or any other heathen invention. I am not mad, I can hear, I can see, I can feel, But a wise rage in man, wrongs passed compare, Should be well nourished as his virtues are: Idem have it known unto each valiant spirit. He wrongs no man that to himself does right. Catzo I ha'done, Signior Rogero, I ha'done. I attend you sir. Exeunt omnes. Manet Clarid. Candidi Ernigos I beseech thee. Even as Jove went to meet his simile. To the Devil I think. Zounds, do not hold me sir: Beauteous Thais, I am all thine wholly. The staff is now advancing for the Rest, And when I tilt, Mizaldus aware thy Crest. Exit. Very well, very well, take Law and hang thy self, I care not. Had she no other but that good face to dote upon? Idem rather she had dealt with a dangerous Frenchman, then with such a Pagan. Upon that curse laid on Venetians jealousy. We thought he being a Courtier, would have made us Magni ficoes of the right stamp, and have played at Primero in the presence, with gold of the City brought from our Indies. Rare accident, ill welcome noble Lord: Madame: your executioner desires you to forgive him. Wedlock, I here's my wedlock; Oh whore, whore, whore. Sir: I am to die a dogs death, and will snarl a little At the old Segnior, you are only a Parenthesis, Which I will leave out of my execrations: but first To our quondam wives, that makes us cry our Vowels In read Capital letters, Iov are cuckolds, Oh may Bastard bearing with the pangs of childbirth, be Doubled to him: may they have ever twins And be three weeks in travel between, may they be, So Riveled with painting by that time they are thirty, that it May be held a work of condign merit But to look upon they, may they live, To ride in triumph in a Dung-cart And be crowned with all the odious ceremonies belonging too it: May the cucking stool be their recreation, And a dungeon their dying chamber, May they have nine lives Like a Cat, to endure this and more; May they be burned for witches of a sudden, And lastly, may the opinion of Philosophers Prove true, that women have no souls. Oh to think whilst we are singing the last Hymn, And ready to be turned off, Some new tune is inventing, by some Metermonger, To a scurvy Ballad of our death. Again at our funeral Sermons, To have the Divine, divide his text into fair branches: O, flesh and blood cannot endure it, Yet I will take it patiently Like a graven man, Hangman, tie not my halter of a true lovers knot, I shall burst it if thou dost. Hold thy water Crocodile, and say I am bound To do thee no harm: were I free yet I could not Be looser then thou: For thou art a whore. Agamemnon's daughter that was sacrificed For a good wind, felt but a blast of the torments: Thou shouldst endure, I'de make thee swoon Oftener, then that fellow that by his continual practice Hope's to become Drum Mayor. What sayest thou to tickling to death with bodkins? But thou hast laughed too much at me already, whore. Justice Oh Duke, and let me not hang in suspense. I'll come off fairly. Then beg my pardon, I had rather Chirurgeons hall should beg my dead body For and Anatomy, then thou beg my life: Justice Oh Duke, and let us die. Termagant that will stretch thy patience. Thou that art the tal'st man of Christendom; when thou art alone, if thou dost maintain this to my face, I'll make thee skip Like and Ounce. And so I swear, you're honest Onocentaure. If you think not this sufficient, you shall command me to be reconciled in another form, as a Rhimatrix or a Ri mocheros. Well, give me your hands first, I am friends with you faith: thereupon I embrace you, kiss your Wife, and God give us joy. To Thais. You take the meaning better then the speech, Lady. By this bright light that is derived from thee. But that thou art a blessed Angel, sent Down from the Gods t'attone mortal men, I would have thought deeds beyond all men's thoughts, And executed more upon his corpse: O let him thank the beauty of this eye, And not his resolute sword or destiny. No nor this day had it been falsely born, But that I mean to found it with his horn. Nay, sweet receive it, Gives it Abigall. And in it my heart: And when thou readest a moving syllable Think that my soul was Secretary to't. It is your love, and not the odious wish Of my revenge, in styling him a Cuckold, Makes me presume thus far: then read it fair, My passion's ample as your beauty's are. Above the Adamant the Goats blood shall not break me, Yet shallow fools, and plainer moral men, That understand not what they undertake, Fallen in their own snares, or come short of vengeance, No, let the Sun view with and open face, And afterwards shrink in his blushing cheeks, Ashamed, and cursing of the fixed decree, That makes his light bawd to the crimes of men, When I have ended what I now devise. Apollo's Oracle shall swear me wise, Strumpet his wife, branch my false-seeming friend, And make him foster what my hate begotten, A bastard, that when age and sickness seize him, Shall be a corrosive to his gripping heart: I'll write to her, for what her modesty Will not permit, nor my adulterate forcing, That blushless Herald shall not fear to tell: Rogero shall know yet that his foe's a man, And what is more, a true Italian. Exit. Not as you grasp my heart, unwilling wanton. Were but my breast bore and Anatomized, Thou shouldst behold there how thou torturest it: And as Appelles limbed the Queen of Love, In her right hand grasping a heart in flames, So may I thee, fairer, but crueler. Grace me to wear this favour, it's a Jemme That vails to your eyes, though not to eagles, And in exchange give me one word of comfort. Would I had changed places with you my Lord, would it had been my hap. You could not her, my Lord, between the legs. The Countess of Swevia has new taken horse. Fly Phœbus, fly, the hour is six a clock. To say sooth I do not. So in immortal wise shall I arrive. Dost make a Mummer of me Oxhead? Would I had had the circumcising of thee Jew, Idem have Cut short your Cuckold-maker, I would i'faith, I would i'faith. Sir, it's true, Done by a faithless Christian and a Jew. Fear not, I have a trick to bring us to hanging in spite of the Law. Kill not thy Justice Duke, to save our lives: We have deserved death. Let's have our desert; we crave no favour. My Lord, I brained him with a leaver my neighbour lent me, and he stood by and cried strike home old boy. 'Tis a lie, I killed him with a leaver, and thou stoodst by. Thou hast always been cross to me and wilt be to my death. Have I taken all this pains to bring thee to hanging, and dost thou slip now? I'll show you a cross-point, if you cross me thus, When thou shalt not see it. Monster. Fencer. They bustle. But that I would not have the slave laugh at me, And count me a coward, I have a very good mind to live, Aside. But I am resolute: it's but a turn. I do confess. Not in one graven together we beseech you, we shall never agree. The Like have I, what would your highness more? And here before you all tak't o'my death. May the wealth I leave behind me, help to damn her, And as the cursed fate of courtesan, What she gleans with her traded art, May one as a most endue plague cheat from, In the last dotage of her tired lust, And leave her and unpitied age of woe. Who? my wife? chaste? ha your grace your sense, I'll sooner believe A conjurer may say his prayers with zeal, Then her honesty. Had she been and Hermaphrodite I would scarce hath given credit to you, Let him that hath drunk love drugs trust a woman, By heaven I think, the air is not more common. A writ of error, on my life my liege. Thy servant so made by his stars, Rogero. Reads again. A fire on your wandering stars Rogero. Yes: a few orisons; Friar, thou that standest between The souls of men and the devil, Keep these female spirits away, Or I will renounce my faith else. O hell of hels. Why did not we hire some villain to fire our houses? Now what other troubled news, Enter Clarid. and Rogero, with officers. That we must back thus? Ha any Senator begged my pardon, Upon my wives prostitution to him. Slave, knowest thou this? 'tis and Appendix to the Letter, But the greater temptation is hidden within. I will scour thy gorge Like a Hawk: thou shalt swallow thine own stone in this letter, They bustle. Sealed and delivered in the presence of. Oh violent villain, is not thy hand hereto? And writ in blood to show thy raging lust? Here sunk our hate lower then any whirlpool. And this chaste kiss I give thee for thy care. kiss. That fame of women full as wise as fair. Amen, Amen. Before I would prove a Cuckold, I would endure a winter's Pil grimage in the Frozen Zone, Go stark naked through Moscovia, where the Climate is degrees colder then Ice. And thus much to all married men. Now I see great reason why Love should marry jealousy: Since men best of life is fame, He had need preserve the same. When 'tis in a woman's keeping, Let not Argos eyes be sleeping. The pox is unto Panders given By the better powers of heaven. That contains pure chastity, And each Virgin sovereignty, Wantonly she op't and lost: Gift whereof, a God might boast. Therefore shouldst thou Diana wed, Yet be jealous of her bed. I'll confess any thing since I am made a fool by a knave. I'll be hanged Like and innocent, that's flat. I'll do you as good a turn or the hangman, & shall fallen out What have we here the Art of Brachigraphy? Looks ont Peace, seducer, I am branded in the forehead With your star-mark. May the stars drop upon thee And with their sulphur vapours choke thee, ere thou Come at the gallows.