MULLIGRUB

How long have you been a Barbar Andrew? As you will, what trade didst live by, before thou turnedest Barbar Andrew. Wha's the news Barbar, thou art sometime at Court. And what news? what news? good Andrew. Very well, I was washed there one day, and so was my wise, you might have wrung her smock i'faith, but what a those holes? Bless us. By the Lord and this may be: my wife and I will go see them, this portends something. And what more news, you shave the world, especially you Barbar Surgeons you know the ground of many things, you are cunning privy searchers, by the mass you skowre all: what more news? My money, 15. l. plague of all Andrews, who wast trimmed me? I am not at this time furnished, but ther's my bound for your Plate. 'Tis my hard fortune, I will hang the knave, no, first he shall half rot in fetters in the Dungeon, his conscience made de spairfull, isle hire a Knave a purpose, shall assure him he is damned, and after see him with mine own eyes, hanged without singing any Psalm. Lord that he has but one neck. No Sir, lend me your servant, only to carry the plate home, I have occasion of and hours absence. Be very careful I pray thee to my wives own hands. Nay, I pray you stay and drink, and how do's your Mistress, I know her very well, I have been inward with her, and so has many more, she was ever a good patient creature i'faith, with all my heart isle reme ̄ ber your master and honest man, he knew me before I was married, and honest man he is, and a crafty, he comes forward in the world well, I warrant him, and his wife is a proper woman that she is, well, she has been as proper a woman as any in Cheap, she paints now, and yet she keeps her husbands old Customers to him still. In a fine faced wife, in a wainscot carved seat, is a worthy ornament to a Tradesman shop, and and a tractive I warrant, her husband shall find it in the custom of his beware, I'll assure him, God be with you good youth, I ac knowledge the receipt. Exit Lion. I acknowledge all the rece to sure, 'tis very well spoken, I acknowledge the receipt, thus 'tis to have good education and to be brought up in a Tavern, I do keep as gallant and as good company, though I say it, as any she in London, Squires, Gentlemen, and Knights diet at my ta ble, and I do lend some of them money, and full many fine men go upon my score, as simple as I stand here, and I trust them and truly they very knightly and courtly promise fair, give very good words, and a piece of flesh when time of year servet, nay, though my husband be a Citizen and's caps made of wool, yet I would wit, and can see my good assoon as another, for I have all the thanks, my silly husband, a lass, he knows nothing of it, 'tis I that bear, 'tis I that must bear a brain for all. Mind, be not desperate, isle recover all things with me, shall seem honest, that can be profitable, He must never winch, that would or thrive, or save, To be call Niggard, cuckold, Cutthroat, Knave. Come, who come? Strange? Peace, not I, peace, the Messenger hath mistaken the house, let's eat it up quickly, before it be inquired for fit to it, some vineg r, quick, some good luck yet faith, I never tasted salmon relished better, o when a man feeds at other men's cost. No. No. No, no. Back? Would? Pah, how this Sammon stinks. Wife, do not vex, me, is the bowl gone, is it delivered? I will never more say my prayers, do not make me mad, 'tis common, let me not cry Like a woman, is it gone? Look to my house, I am haunted with evil spirits, here me, do; hear me, if I have not my Goblet again, hea ven, I'll to the Devil, I'll to a Conjurer, look to my house, I'll raise all the wise men ithe street. Hic finis Priami. Well Cocledemoy 'tis thou puttest me to this charge, but and I catch thee, I'll charge thee with as many irons: well, is the Barbar come, isle be trimmed and then to Cheapeside, to buy a fair piece of plate, to furnish the lose, is the Barbar come? Go look to your business, mend the matter and score false with a vengeance. Welcome friend, whose man? What and a good work man already, I dare scarce trust my head to thee. Oh monstrous! this is a lie a my word, nay and this be not a lie, I am no fool I warrant, nay make and Ass of me once? I do wink. Would, would, would, 25. couple of Spanish Jennets to dance the old measures. Andrew, makes my worship laugh, i'faith, dost take me for and Ass Andrew, dost know one Cocledemoy in town, he made me and Ass last night, but isle ass him, art thou free Andrew, shave me well, I shall be one of the common Council shortly, and then Andrew, why Andrew, Andrew, dost leave me in the Suds? Cantat. why Andrew I shall be blind with winking. Would Andrew, wife Andrew, what means this, wife, my money wife. Who? what, how n w? what feast towards in my pri vate Parlour. Bowl? Whither now? Whats the matter with you now? when there are you a gadding? Whither, in the rank name of madness: whither? Why so, why so. 'Tis well, 'tis very well. OI, I, I, art in thy right w S? Nay wife be pa ent, for look you, I may be mad, or drunk, or so, for my wise partly, though you can bear more then I, yet I can do well: I will not cause nor carry, but heaven knows what I think. Come, lets go near some music, I will never more say my prayers. Lets go hear some doleful music. Nay if Heaven forget oh prosper . I'll go no more to the Syna gogue. Now I am discontented, I'll turn Sectary that is fashion. It was his voice, 'tis he: he suppes with his cupping glass ses. 'Tis late, he must pass this way: I'll would him, I'll would my fine boy, my worshipful Cocledemoy, I'll moi him, he shall be hanged in lousy linen, I'll hire some sectary to make him and heretic before he die? And when he is dead I'll piss on his graven. Beware polling and shaving Sir. Heers something yet, a Cloak, a cloak, yet I'll after, he cannot escape the watch, I'll hang him if I have any mercy I'll slice him. Exit. And honest man and a Cittiezen. A simple Vintner. What means this violence, as I am and honest man I took the cloak. But hear me, hear me, I'll tell you what I am. I tell you my name is Mullegrub. Why but I tell thee. Am I not mad, am I not and ass, Why scabs, Gods foot: let me out. Who goes there: I lo, ho, ho: zounds shall I run mad, Lose my wits: shall I be hanged, hark: who goes there? Do not fear to be poor Mullegrub, Thou hast a sure stock now. Zounds man I tell thee I am locked. For (a plague ont) suspicion of Felony. Do, and then let me alone with Cockledemoy, I'll moi him. Would: does your Rascalship yet know my Worship In the end? Would, goodman Constable, heeres and honest fellow can tell you what I am? Why but dost hear Belman, Rogue, Rascal, Gods Why but? The constable drags away mulligrub. What mean you Gentlemen? by heaven, I pray you do not led me to execution through cheap side, I owe M. Burnish the goldsmith money, and I fear heel set a Seriant on my back for it. I do here make my confession, if I owe any man any thing, I do heartily forgive him: if any man owe me any thing, let him pay my wife. And now good yokefellow leave thy poor mulligrub. I confess, I confess, and I forgive as I would be forgive ̄ , Do you know one Cocledemoy? Well, whersoere he is, or whatsoever he is, I'll take it on my death he's the cause of my hanging, I heartily forgive him, and if he would come forth he might save me, for he only knows the why, and the wherefore. That hard heart of mine has procured all this, but I forgive as I would be forgiven. I am not iawfalne, but I will hang the contracting Cocledemoy, and theres and end of't. Exit. And what's the news? how do all my good Lords, and all my good Ladies, and all the rest of my acquaintance. Well, I am not the first honest man that hath been cast away, and I hope shall not be the last. To her own hand. For the love of God talk not of shaving, I have been shaved, mischief and 1000. devils cease him, I have been shaved. Exit Mullig: Sure, some wise man would find them out presently. In troth I have no stomach to it, and it please you take my trencher I use to fast at nights. By what token, are you sent by no token? nay, I have wit. behold thy Cocledemoy, my fine vintner, my castrophomicall fine boy: behold and see. I could even weep for joy. Pre thee away.