BALURDO

The fool. in good deed law now, I play Ba lurdo, a wealthy mountbanking Burgomasco's heir of Venice. By this fair candle light, 'tis not my feet, I ne ver wore socks since I sucked pap. And please the gods, now in very good deed, law, you shall see me tickle the measures for the heave ̄ S, Do my hangers show? And pleased the marble heavens, now would I might be the toy, to put you in the head, kindly to con ceipt my my my: pray you give in and Epithet for love. Scurvily, as I do. After their fashion. In a sort, in their garb. I, and faith, and it not for printing, & poin ting, my breech, and your face would be out of repa ration. By the sugarcandy sky, hold up the glass higher, that I may see to swear in fashion. Oh, one loof more would would made them shine; gods neakes, they would have shone Like my mistress brow. Even so the Duke frowns for all this Cursond world: o that girn kills, it kills. By my golden What's the richest thing about me? By my golden teeth, hold up; that I may put in: hold up, I say, that I may see to put on my gloves. Well, Dildo, no Christian creature shall know hereafter, what I will do for thee heretofore. And how does my sweet mistress? Oh Lady deer, even as 'tis and old say, 'Tis and old horse can nei there wighy, nor wag his tail: even so do I hold my set face still: even so, 'tis a bade courtier that can nei there discourse, nor blow his nose. Lord bless us: his breath is more fearful then a Sergeants voice, when he cries; I arrest. Up on his shoulders, that's the fittest place for it. If it be not as fit as if it were made for them; say, Ba lurdo, thou art a sot, and ass. As I am true gentleman, I made my horse sweat, that he hath never a dry thread on him: and I can meet with no living creature, but men & beasts, In good sadness, I would have sworn I had seen Mellida e ven now: for I saw a thing stir under a hedge, and I peep't, and I spied a thing: and I peered, and I tweerd underneath: and truly a right wise man might have been deceived: for it was A Don cow. Gods neakes, proud self, give the Duke rove rence, stand bore with a Whogh! heavens bless me: Mellida, Mellida. Now nimble wits appear: isle my self appear, Balurdo's self, that in quick wit does surpass, Will show the substance of a complete I'll mount my courser, and most gallantly prick I'll speak pure rhyme, and will so bravely prank it, that isle toss love Like a prank, prank it: a rhyme for prank it? That isle toss love, Like a dog in a blanket: would would, in deed law. I think, would would; I think would would, I think I shall tickle the Muses. And I strike it not dead, say, Balurdo, thou art and arrant sot. AND are you a painter sir, can you draw, can you draw? Lymne them? a good word, lymne them: whose picture is this? Anno Domini 1599. Believe me, master Anno Domini was of a good settled age when you lymn'd him. 1599. years old? Lets see the other. Etatis suae 24. Bir Lady he is somewhat younger. Belike master Etatis suae was Anno Dominies son. Approach good sir. I did send for you to draw me a devise, and Imprezza, by Sinecdoche a Mott. By Phœbus crimson taffeta mantle, I think I speak as melodiously, look you sir, how think you ont? I would have you paint me, for my device, a good fat leg of ewe mutton, swimming in stewde broth of plums (boy keel your mouth, it runs over) and the word shall be; Hold my dish, while I spill my pottage. Sure, in my conscience, twould be the most sweet device, now. Gods neakes, now I remember me, I would the rarest devise in my head that ever breathed. Can you paint me a drivelling reeling song, & let the word be, Uh. Oh, no no: Uh, paint me uh, or nothing. No? well, let me have a good maff e ring, with your own poesy graven in it, that must sing a small treble, word for word, thus; And if you will my true lover be, Come follow me to the green wood. Signior Feliche, how do you faith, & by my troth, how do you? And as heaven help me, how do you? How, do you i'faith he? Oh God, to the Court, isle be willing to give you grace and good countenance, if I may but see you in the presence. If you see one in a yellow taffeta dubblet, cut upon carnation valour, a green hat, a blew pair of velvet hose, a gilded rapier, and and orange nigh pair of worsted silk stockings, thats I, thats I. Ho, you shall know me as easily, I would bought me a new green feather with a read sprig, you shall see my wrought shirt hang out at my breeches, you shall know me. Hold, hold, hold: are ye blind, could you not see my voice coming for the harp. And I knock not di vision on the head, take hence the harp, make me a slip, and let me go but for nine pence. Sir Mark, strike up for master Balurdo. My troth, I thank you, it hath never a whistle in't. Truly, I have strained a note above Ela, for a de vise; look you, 'tis a fair ruled singing book: the word, Perfect, if it were pricked. Truly, you speak wisely, and Like a Iantlewo man of fourteen years of age. You know the stone called lapis; the nearer it comes to the fire, the hotter it is: and the bird, which the Geometricians call Avis, the farther it is from the earth, the nearer it is to the heaven: and love, the nigher it is to the flame, the more remote (ther's a word, remote) the more remote it is from the frost, Your wit is quick, a little thing pleases a young Lady, and a small favour contents and old Courtier; and so, sweet mistress I truss my codpiece point. Truly, for sir Jeffrey Balurdo, he disclaims to have had any thing in her, For passion of love now, remember me to my mistress, Lady Rossaline, when she is pricking down the good parts of her servants. As I am true knight, I grow stiff: I shall carry it. The partly of all the world. Oh God: forsooth in very good earnest, law, you would make me as a man should say, as a man should say. Marry forsooth, how many strike of peas would feed a hog far against Christide. Indeed law? now so can my father's forehore horse. And are these the workmanship of your hands? Indeed law, do, and isle make you Lady of the silver fiddlestick, I come, I come, more then most hunny-suckle sweet Ladies, pine not for my presence, isle return in pomp. Well spoke sir Jeffrey Balurdo. As I am a true knight, I feel honourable eloquence begin to grope me already. Who, I? No I am not sir Jeffrey Balurdo. I am not as well known by my wit, as and alehouse by a read lat tice. I am not worthy to love and be beloved of Flaviam. O, I smell a found. In good sober sadness, sweet mistress, you should have had my thought for a penny: by this crimson Sat ten that cost eleven shillings, thirteen pence, three pence, half penny a yard, that you should, law. Pewe, thou jestest. In good sadness, I'll have a looking glass nailed to the the testarn of the bed, that I may see when I sleep, whither 'tis so, or not; take heed you lie not: go to, take heed you lie not. Marry in the mask 'twill be somewhat harden. But if you hear any body speak so wittily, that he makes all the room laugh; that's I, that's I. Farewell good Signior. In sad good earnest, sir, you have touched the very bore of naked truth; my silk stocking hath a good gloss, and I thank my planets, my leg is not alto gether unpropitiously shaped. There's a word: vnpro piteous? I think I shall speak unpropitiously as well as any courtier in Italy. As I am true Christian now, thou hast won the spurs My mistress, the Lady Rossaline, withdrew her gracious aspect even now. By Jesu, I think I am as elegant a Courtier, as How likest thou my suit? Turned man, turned man: women wear the breaches, lo here, Verily, he looks as pitifully, as a poor John: as I am true knight, I could weep Like a stoned horse. Why? z'lid, I have seen painted things sing as sweet: But I hau't will tickle it, for a conceit i'faith. calls for your diminutive attendance.