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Full speech
MAdam, in troth this grief does not become you, It's and ill dressing for so good a face, Yet you pursue it with such eagerness, As if you were ambitiously sad. It's some invincible malignity Makes her untractable, deaf to all comfort. What might I gh sse the cause of this disaster? Her Monkey and her Dog are both in health, I thank my providence, only her Monkey Is a little costive, but I'll physic him: Sure her intelligence arrived too late, About the last new fashion, or the crime Lies in the Sempster, or it must needs be Some other grand solecism in her Taylor. What if it prove a Capital offence, Committed by the tirewoman? but I believe Some skiruy Lady put it in her head, To practice a State melancholy, that first Begins in and imperious revolt, And frowning, and contempt of her own husband, And what she might recover by the Law In case of separation, or a nullity, Which she already has took counsel of: Come it is so. This chastity Is quite out of date, a mere obsolete thing, Clean out of use, since I was first a Maid, Why do I say a Maid? let Juno plague me, If I remember it, for I began Betimes, and so progressed from less to bigger, From boys to Lads, and as I grew in years, I writ my Venery in a larger volume. With his Tutor forsooth You have provided A Tutor to inst uct him, a rare man, One that has poisoned me with eloquence, I fear he will make my belly swell with it. By no means Your Tradesmen will not partly with them, there are Many i'th City have such furniture, But they do keep them for their own wearing. Sir, you transgress in your opinion, If you consider both, alas my beauty Is much exhausted. Why now my dream is out, I lay last night Upon my back, and was adream'd of fighting. His Tutor has taught him the Theory. Only he wants the practic. When will you do this? Gentlemen, You'll break your wits with stretching them, forbear I beseech you. He is very obtuse, And so are many of your elder brother's. I carried all the wit from mine, when I Was young, I'de have look: a Captain in the face, Answered him in the Dialogue, and have stood On tiptoe to have kissed him: But for your brother, Do not despair good Madam, what although His breeding be a little course, he may be A Lord in's time, now he has means enough? You forget The Theorems we told you. Lord how often Shall we enforce these documents upon you? I shall Be proud to be so seated in your favour. If he can persevere, 'tis excellent. That word I taught him. Beside the riding Of the great Mare; nay Sir, his very carvings, Even to the discecting of a Capon. Are Lectures of Anatomy. You must remember, You prove not refractory to your discipline, It'll be much for your improvement.
Plot summary
Plot — Holland's Leaguer
Six years ago, Faustina’s father sent her abroad to keep her away from her love, Fidelio, and made her swear not to marry for seven years. Now the old man is dead, she has returned to London, known only to Fidelio, but insists on keeping her oath for the last remaining year. Her brother Philautus is in love with himself, which distresses his friends and offends his wife, but gives his servant Ardelio the opportunity to steal from him by conveying away property into storage at an accomplice’s house. Fidelio plans to make him fall in love with Faustina; this will both cure him and test her fidelity. He explains it to Faustina as a plan to humiliate a lord who has cast aspersions on women. Philautus makes advances to Faustina on the assumption that all women are libidinous and enjoy being raped from time to time; but he is impressed by her militant chastity, and accedes to her demand that he prove his honour in battle. He later returns from the wars, cured of narcissism, and asks Faustina’s pardon for his earlier insolence. She identifies herself as his sister, and he gives his blessing to her marriage to Fidelio; so she agrees to abandon her oath before the seven years are out. On learning that Ardelio is a villain, Philautus dismisses him. He goes to collect the stolen goods, only to find that his partner in crime will not acknowledge that the items even exist. The ensuing argument is overheard, and the miscreants are both arrested, In the sub-plot, Agurtes intends to cheat the courtly name-dropper Trimalchio by introducing him to a young heiress - who is, in reality, his daughter and lifelong accomplice Millicent. When he visits Millicent, Trimalchio brings along Philautus’ brother-in-law ===== PAGE 537 ===== 1631 as Capritio, wiie: has’ been brought to towit: oleae: courtly manners.:Agurtés suggests to Trimalchio that: an Italian. (or Italianated) - Signor MisexE Kandy apritio’s tutor traveller, he may have'rivals for the heiress’s hand ii marriage. ~ AL PANDER at Holland’s} 1 daa Meanwhile Capritio woos Millicent’ 3 ‘Maids: ‘Margery. |ee Trimalchio declines to join. ‘Philautus: atthe. Anilitary — leaguer, preferring to visit: Holland's: premises and arrests the: cliente: including T. sionals ; : They are ‘brought 4 and Capritio’s. tutor, ‘Miscellank before..a justice; who is really Agurtes. in @ second disguise; but freed when a letter arrives trom. hadlltéent ! asking.-for their reprieve. Miscellanio: is convinced that the letter was sent on his…